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One particular trio, a chubby-cheeked boy named Soonyoung, a (secretly) impish boy with glasses that slid down his nose named Wonwoo, and a charming airhead named Seokmin, consumed Seungcheol’s attention every day as they relished in troublemaking. It’s not as though they were scheming, ill-intended masterminds (how could they be- they were eight year olds and Seungcheol doesn’t think he’s being harsh nor is he editorializing when he insists that eight year olds can be “dumb as shit,” as he so lovingly put it to Joshua one afternoon), but they loved to get a rise out of the teacher and Seungcheol was unfortunately the nearest target.
By the time March rolled around, the students buzzed excitedly over the thought of St. Patrick’s Day. Seungcheol ushered the kids in from morning recess with good news under his belt.
“Alright guys,” he said rubbing his hands together, “today we’re going to write letters to the leprechauns that are gonna come to our classroom.”
He, for one, had believed in all things magical and unexplained until he was ten, and thus felt that this assignment would be an absolute delight and god his students are lucky to have a teacher so cool and nice who works so hard to keep the magic alive for them. “Start brainstorming some questions to ask so we can have time later to build tiny houses for them.”
Mingyu’s hand shot into the air. “How do we know if we’ve caught one?”
Seungcheol tilted his head. “We’re not? Trying to catch them?” The kids all seemed alarmed by this news. “We want them to enjoy their stay so they come back next year.”
“If we have extra time can we build a house and a trap?” blurted Seungkwan.
“That’s not really…” Seungcheol said under his breath, “I don’t know how nice it is to write a letter to someone before making them your prisoner but sure, I suppose if we have time,” he ceded.
He began to pass out the writing paper, squinting his eyes in passing a conversation between Soonyoung and Wonwoo.
“Wonu, hey listen,” Soonyoung whispered, leaning over to his desk dramatically. “You know leprechauns aren’t real, right?”
Wonwoo sat back in his seat, “yeah,” he deadpanned. His voice really was deeper than it ought to have been at that age, Seungcheol thought. “Obviously I knew that.”
Seungcheol leaned in with a gentle shush instead of the “if you gremlins don’t shut the fuck up for a second I swear to god” running through his head. He had heard that some schools frowned upon that kind of language around the kids, but shit if he could remember why at that moment. The two stinkers, clearly in cahoots with one another as they exchanged knowing, twerpish glances, composed matching letters while Seungcheol pulled a group of kids to the carpet to help with getting started.
“Can you believe these little turds?” Seungcheol griped over his lunch, pushing the sheets of binder paper toward Jeonghan who read it over with half boiled intrigue.
Dear Leprechaun,
I dont know why im riting this becus your not real. I know youre doing this Mr Choi.
your unbelieving frends,
Soonyoung & Wonwoo
“They certainly don’t beat around the bush,” Jeonghan replied as he slid the papers back to the pile.
“I don’t like to throw around the term poopyhead,” Seungcheol started, “but these guys are being real buttholes.”
Jeonghan shut his eyes and nodded. “Gee, when did kids start hating fun so much?”
Seungcheol rifled through his papers. “I know you’re being sarcastic but I mean, yeah that’s kind of it?” He plucked a note from the center of the pile. “Look at what Seokmin wrote, though.”
The third of the trio was clearly not within Soonyoung and Wonwoo’s range of influence during their writing time. His letter, simple and to the point, read:
Dear Leprechaun,
Where Do you live? Were Do you have your pot of gould?
Where do you play? If you ancer all these questions I will believe in you.
From,
Lee Seokmin
P.S. I don’t believe in you but if you ancer the questions I Do believe in you.
“I think I’m gonna write replies to these,” Seungcheol stated resolutely through a mouthful of rice. Reading Seokmin’s letter had left an unnamed sense of duty in his gut to justify the glimmer of hope written in the post script, plus he also felt a fire light within him to really stick it to Soonyoung and Wonwoo for growing up too fast. Jeonghan shot him a look with a rebuttal on the edge of his tongue as Seungcheol spoke again, “They worked so hard to write questions, it’s only fair that they get answers.”
“How can you possibly be this competitive with a bunch of eight year olds?” Jeonghan leaned back and chuckled. What a fucking instigating prick. “Just do what the rest of us do and scatter some green shit and chocolate coins in the morning,” he offered with a dismissive wave of his hand.
“Where’s your sense of childlike wonder, Hannie?” He cooed, earning a disinterested hum from Jeonghan as he stole a bite from Seungcheol’s lunch. “And I’m not being competitive! I’m just,” Seungcheol’s face twisted as he looked for the proper words to prove Jeonghan’s accurate statement wrong, “look, if I can keep the magic alive for these kids then I will.”
“While also telling the nonbelievers to eat shit?” prompted Jeonghan.
“Yeah, one hundred percent.”
Seungcheol walked into to his classroom early in order to properly mess it up before the kids arrived. It had been a long night of writing responses to each student's letters and combining the results of three different leprechaun name generators to properly sign each one off. He had laughed particularly hard at "Squeezy McKnob" which he texted to Jihoon around midnight only to receive a string of curses before the endearing go to sleep you fucking moron. He lovingly laid down a scathing letter from a disgruntled leprechaun named Peevish onto Soonyoung and Wonwoo's desks.
Dear Soonyoung & Wonwoo,
The absolute nerve! The audacity! I never been so disrespected in all of my days! You best be wearing green today, laddies, lest you want to get pinched while you’re back’s turned. Maybe that’ll clatter some sense into your unbelieving heads!
Your offended friend,
Peevish Luckyleaf
P.S. I stole all of the class gold.