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- all of the leaves are green, on every forget-me-not -
Every year on the anniversary of the invasion, Lor’themar called a halt to all the business in the palace and elsewhere in honor of the fallen and to make sure his people had the chance they needed to grieve and to remember. He tried his hardest not to do either, most years, simply preferring to stay out of everyone’s line of sight lest someone find something that needed his immediate attention. He sat in his suite at his estate, gazing absently at the balcony doors, letting his own thoughts drift back in time… a luxury he very rarely allowed himself. He believed it was important for everyone else to do so, but for him, it was a dangerous thing. He needed to remain focused, to keep his eyes on the future, not on the past… to think of all the things he had to do instead of things that would forever be unfinished.
Slowly, he drew his knees up to his chest and looped his arms around them, gazing sightlessly at the fireplace. His long, starlight-colored hair fell loose around him, giving him somewhat of a curtain from the rest of the world- though here in his home, nobody would bother him. Halduron might come by at some point, he figured, but he didn’t care. He enjoyed the Ranger-General’s company, he always had… and he enjoyed the comfort he could find with him, even though he’d never admit to needing it. It was better if everyone believed him invincible, untouchable, unbreakable… all the things a good ruler should be, and none of the things that he actually was.
He closed his eye and slowed his breathing, letting himself drift back in time, remembering lazy days and warm nights spent in this room with someone else- someone who was no longer with them, lost in the invasion like so many others. He remembered a bright, beautiful smile, blue eyes framed by long lashes, and thick, honey-gold hair as long as his own that spilled over both of them. He remembered the way they’d laugh when trying to untangle their hair, swearing that next time they’d pull it back- and that never happened, somehow. He remembered the sound of that laughter, light and sweet, always playful and happy… and the voice, teasing and purring into his ear, drawing him along and encouraging him to let go. These were memories he always flinched from, but it seemed fitting, that day, to let them come… and so he did, staying still for a long time.
“Come on, Lor, lighten up… you’re too tense.” Koltira laughed as he watched Lor’themar undress and pushed him onto the bed. “Roll over, I’ll give you a massage.”
“I’d be less tense if everyone else would do their jobs,” Lor’themar grumbled, rolling onto his stomach and sighing as Koltira moved over him. “I’ll be cleaning up this particular mess for the next two weeks!”
Koltira chuckled softly. “So we’ll have an entire unit running around with mismatched armor… not exactly a crisis in my mind.”
“That’s not the point,” Lor’themar replied, then sighed as warm, strong hands ran over his shoulders. “The point is, the armor is wrong, and that could cause problems in battle for those rangers.”
“The armor fits,” Koltira pointed out, starting to work the tension out of his shoulders. “It just looks rather… interesting.” He leaned down to press a kiss to the nape of Lor’themar’s neck. “I think you’re worrying too much over nothing.”
Lor’themar sighed. “And if it were your armor?” he returned.
Koltira laughed again at that, bright and happy. “If it were mine? I don’t think I’d be seen in public in it.” He leaned over further, soft hair caressing Lor’themar’s bare skin, making him shiver. “But,” he purred into Lor’themar’s ear, “you know I like to look as good as I can… especially when I know you’ll be observing my unit.”
That made Lor’themar chuckle despite himself and he rolled onto his back, looking up at Koltira and reaching up to tug playfully on one of the shorter locks of his hair that framed his face. “You are quite the vain one,” he agreed.
“Maybe. I like to think I’m practical about how I look, but I have a feeling you’re right- when it comes to you.” Koltira winked at him. “Let the rangers maintain their training routine in their mismatched armor… it won’t cause them serious harm.” His grin grew mischievous, seductive. “Besides, if it were my armor, I’d just beg you to remove it for me as often as the chance presented itself.”
Lor’themar had to laugh at that, letting his fingers twine in Koltira’s hair. “Would you?” he replied. “Maybe I should issue you a set of it, then…”
Koltira smirked. “Maybe you should, but as you’ve undoubtedly noticed… you have no problems getting me out of my current armor.”
A sound at the balcony door snapped Lor’themar out of the memory before it could go any further and he looked over curiously. Halduron was standing there dressed in his own rather ornate armor- another one who never would have stood for that mistake, Lor’themar thought, sadly amused. “Looking for me?” he asked softly.
“I had a feeling you’d be here.” Halduron smiled at him and walked over to sit next to him. “You always hide in your home at this time of year…”
Lor’themar nodded slightly. “I find it preferable to having people find things that require my attention, especially today- everyone should be focusing on themselves and the people they love, not politics and scheming.”
Halduron nodded. “As it happens, I agree with you, which is why I came here as soon as I finished today’s patrol.” He stretched and leaned back against the cushions, gazing at the fire. “Also… I didn’t want you to be alone today.”
Lor’themar smiled a little bit. “Thank you,” he murmured. Halduron had been his best friend for far longer than he’d even known Koltira, and was one of the only ones who’d known about their relationship. He’d been the one who’d helped Lor’themar cope, in private, so he could continue on in public… and it hadn’t been a huge surprise to Lor’themar when, a couple years later, he found himself in love with his best friend. Halduron felt the same, which Lor’themar felt was an absolute stroke of luck.
Halduron gently put an arm around him and drew him close. He didn’t say anything for a little while, but he didn’t have to- he just offered silent comfort, and let Lor’themar speak when he was ready to. He knew the pain he’d suffered as he’d been there for the entirety of it, and Lor’themar fervently appreciated his approach to the whole thing. He’d simply been there when Lor’themar had needed him, to talk, to cry, to spar in the practice ring- whatever he’d needed to distance himself from his grief, to help him accept it.
“I was remembering the fiasco with the armor, a few months before the invasion,” Lor’themar murmured.
Halduron chuckled quietly. “I remember that,” he said, shaking his head. “That poor unit- they looked like a rag-tag bunch. The issue was resolved within a couple of weeks, wasn’t it?”
Lor’themar nodded. “It was, but it took me a lot of time to fix it, and Sylvanas was furious. We had to spend more gold than we’d anticipated to get it resolved.”
“Yes, but the armor went for training, so that wasn’t so bad,” Halduron replied, pressing a light kiss to the top of Lor’themar’s head. “In fact, there are still pieces of it floating around.”
“I know.” Lor’themar smiled a little and closed his eye. “I’ve seen it somewhat recently.”
Halduron was quiet for awhile, then shifted and tipped his chin up, giving him a long kiss. “Come on. It’s nice outside- let’s go sit in the sun in your garden.”
Lor’themar nodded and let Halduron draw him up, and once outside, he found himself better able to relax. He rested in his best friend’s arms and closed his eye, sighing softly, and Halduron held him a bit closer. Eventually he’d have to get up and go to the memorial service, make a pretty speech about remembering and moving forward, about the glory of their future, but for now he could just keep to himself, to Halduron, and to his memories.
Most of all, though, he hoped for peace- for Koltira, and for himself.
- but all that we might have been, is covered in frost -