Work Text:
House woke to the whirring sound of a hairdryer in the bathroom and shoved his head under the pillow. It was too damned early to be awake. And it was surely too early to be coherent. Except Stacy was - awake, coherent and prodding him to get out of bed.
"But, Mom, I don't want to go to school today," he muttered from beneath his pillow.
She tapped him on the ass, then left him to get up when he was ready. If he had his way, 'when' would be around noon. Later if he convinced Stacy to come back to bed with him.
The fragrance of the fresh brewing coffee woke up his brain enough that he realized he needed to pee. That meant he had little choice but to get up. Peeling himself out of bed was no easy task. It involved coordinating limbs with movement and consciousness - all at the same time.
He finally rolled himself out of bed and padded into the bathroom to relieve himself. Stacy was standing at the mirror applying mascara.
"You couldn't wait until I was finished?" she asked him.
He shrugged. "When ya gotta go..." And he deliberately left the seat up when he was done.
"Greg-" she hissed after him, flinching from the water he flicked at her after washing his hands, but let him go.
House poured solid black coffee into a mug, then down his throat, ignoring the scalding temperature of the liquid. He poured a second cup, added a little milk and sugar, then sipped a little slower on this mug. "Stace, what's for breakfast?"
"What are you making?" she yelled back from the bathroom.
He grunted. He was hungry. He didn't want to cook. But, he did want to know what the hell it was that took Stacy so damned long in the bathroom in the morning. All she needed to do was shower and get dressed, right? All that hairdrying and make-up was superfluous, right?
"Greg, get in the shower. If you're ready in ten minutes to leave with me, I'll buy you breakfast on the way to work."
As much as he felt that incentive was a little backwards, he wasn't turning down a free meal. He slurped down the rest of his coffee, jumped in the shower, dressed and brushed his teeth in just under seven minutes. He was getting that free breakfast.