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"Hey Rin-chan," says Nagisa so offhandedly he's practically dropping it onto the floor, "what's it like sleeping with a guy, anyway?"
Rin doesn't choke on his smoothie because this isn't a fucking anime, and he's not a tool. He swallows his most recent gulp calmly, and carefully sets his cup onto the table.
"I don't mean like sleeping-sleeping," Nagisa continues, giggling a little bit. If Rin didn't know Nagisa was insane, he'd think it was from nerves. "I mean, putting it in. Or getting it put in I guess!"
Rin also doesn't blush, because even if he's a little shy talking about that stuff, and he definitely doesn't want to talk about it with Nagisa of all people, he's not a prude. He takes a deep breath or two, waiting for the inevitable follow up.
"You know, like sex. Sex between guys!"
"Nagisa," Rin says sharply. "Where are we?"
"Huh? What do you mean Rin-chan? We're in the food court, duh!"
A headache settles gently between the older swimmer's temples. "And does that strike you as the best place for this conversation?"
"You're so particular!" The blond rolls his eyes. "Where else am I supposed to ask? Your dorm? You'd die if I brought it up in front of Ai-chan!"
"Shut up. He doesn't want you to call him that," Rin says blandly. The headache gains a little strength, evolving into a migraine. Nagisa's got that look on his face, the one that's similar to a determined, half-constipated chihuahua. Two entire swim clubs live in fear of that look. Rin would run, but he really wants to finish his smoothie and mall-food-court-grade burger, even if it's sort of crappy.
"Whaaat? No way. Ai-chan doesn't mind at all!" Ai-chan - Nitori - does mind. He really, really does. Who would have thought, Nitori would be the single longest hold-out to date on Nagisa's dubious over-friendliness? More shocking things have happened, Rin guesses, but it's still sort of funny. "Besides, don't change the subject! I need to know!"
Against his better judgement, Rin actually responds. "Wait, you need to? ...You and Rei are...?"
"We've, um, been talking about it." The redhead can't help but stare. An embarrassed Nagisa doesn't happen frequently, but it's happening right now across the table from him. Even worse, it's not artifice, like the fake tears and wails of "take responsibility!" that the younger boy usually emits; it's... genuine.
It's disturbing.
"...Oi, why are you asking me?" Rin's not flattered at having become Nagisa's go-to confidant for all his very abundant feelings about Rei. Maybe that was a romantic idea on paper, but in actuality it equates to a lot of incoherent, annoying texts at bullshit o'clock in the morning talking about Rei-chan's perfect hair and Rei-chan's brother saying the funniest thing and what Nagisa was going to wear for their fifty-thousandth date on the weekend.
It's a good thing the obsessive crush turned out mutual, Rin thinks grimly, but he's definitely not wanting to be in the know of his underclassmen's sexual development.
Nagisa hunches over his plate of cheesy fries, looking put-upon. It'd actually be kind of cute, outside the very unfortunate circumstance of Nagisa opening his mouth and making sounds. "Rin-chaaaan," groans the younger, "who the heck else am I gonna ask? You and Mako-chan are the only gay couple I know!"
"So? What about Makoto, then? There's a perfectly good person to ask that's not me," Rin returns archly. He and Makoto might be dating now, might be overstaying their welcome in that really gross, touchy-feely honeymoon phase of their relationship, but he'll still gladly throw him under Nagisa's bus at a moment's notice. Shit, he'll help Nagisa parallel park the bus directly on top of Makoto if it gets him out of crap like this horrifying conversation.
His friend blushes. It continues to be disturbing. "I can't ask Mako-chan about sex, he'd get all embarrassed and start folding towels really quickly or something!"
"Who says I'm not embarrassed?" barks the redhead, shoving his burger in his mouth. "Mmf, who says I wouldn't strangle you with a bunch of towels?"
Nagisa points. "You asked if me and Rei-chan were doing it!"
Several heads turn around them, and now Rin's the one who's blushing. Fuck. One little slip up of concern and of course Nagisa grabs onto it like a fucking Kinder egg. "Shut up, don't say shit like that so loud! And no I didn't! Ugh, even picturing you two doing anything makes me want to puke."
"Stop picturing it!" Nagisa waggles a finger in his face, winking. "That's pri~vate! For me and Rei-chan's eyes o-n-l-y!"
"Like that guy can see anything without those dorky glasses."
"Rin-chan's so mean!" Nagisa sulks, leaning more heavily on the table. It creaks alarmingly. "Mako-chan's too embarrassed about things like that, Haru-chan doesn't like guys or maybe even solid objects, and Rei-chan's - researching, or whatever," Nagisa's tone has gone a bit strange and wobbly, "but who knows how long that's gonna take and I don't think you can really honestly learn about that kind of stuff from books and movies and stuff anyway and I just want to know now!"
The unspoken "before I make an idiot of myself" hangs in the air between them, and Rin feels it, suddenly - that traitorous, traitorous compassion he carries for basically all the Iwatobi guys, stabbing at his gut. Nagisa's stressed out about his developing physical relationship with his extremely eccentric boyfriend who's probably no fucking help, and Rin can't help but feel a little... not responsible, or anything, but maybe sympathetic. Nagisa may have a reputation as a giggling, manipulative demon, but he's also just a young, dumb teenager, struggling to figure a lot of new shit out, like the rest of them.
Sighing and resigned to his fate as Nagisa's gay guidance counselor, the redhead doesn't look up from his burger as he grits, "...Know what? I can't tell you shit if you don't ask a real damn question."
Nagisa snorts, and Rin makes the mistake of looking up at his friend. He's beaming gratefully, which Rin thinks is a little much given that a. he hasn't actually helped him yet and b. they're about to discuss anal sex, in a food court, at 2 in the afternoon.
On second thought, this was a huge mistake. Time to start running.
"Does it, um, what's it like?"
Shit, he missed his opportunity to flip the table into the other's face and bolt towards the nearest exit. Okay, maybe if he keeps things curt and direct this'll end quickly and painlessly. "It's good. Annoying." The words come out within half a second of each other, like he was trying to say both things at once.
"Annoying?" Nagisa's face screws up in confusion.
Rin curses himself, amending a bit desperately, "It's - am I really the only person you can ask?"
"Rin-chan's got the most experience!"
"Oi, don't say that so casually, what the hell are you implying." His response is flat. "I've only dated one guy, same as you."
"Huh?" The redhead tries to ignore the nearly-visible question marks popping into existence over Nagisa's quizzically turned head. "In Australia, you didn't - ?"
"No." His response is so flat, it could double as ping-pong table. He's not gonna get into it - figuring out he was gay at an all-boys boarding school while having a very slow, extended nervous breakdown was not exactly a stellar time in his life, nor was it a good time to experiment with dating. He still sometimes feels totally stunned that he's deemed functional enough to date Makoto now. "I didn't."
"Oh." It'd be great if the next words out of Nagisa's mouth were, 'You're right Rin-chan you're totally unqualified for this conversation I'll have to write a Dear Gay Teen Abby or something,' but no. The blond seems to rally, because he says instead, "But you and Mako-chan have slept together."
"How would you know?"
"You just said it was good and annoying!"
Fuck. He's gotta stop doing that thing where he actually responds. "Well, whatever, it is!"
An exasperated sound comes from Nagisa. "Which one?"
"Both." Rin returns to his earlier tactic of being curt and direct, poking his straw moodily deeper into his smoothie. "It's - it takes some getting used to, and it can be kind of embarrassing, which is annoying, but it's good once you get the hang of it. But then it's still annoying, 'cuz once it gets good you wanna spend a lot of time doing it but you still need to do shit like homework and family dinners and team meetings. So it's good and annoying."
Nagisa shifts forward, rapt, but he's a bit hesitant when he prompts, "It takes some getting used to because it, um, hurts, right?"
"Sort of." The redhead feels the blush creeping up on his face again. Totally ridiculous, this is just unbelievable. "It depends, I guess."
"Did it hurt when you did it?"
That's too far. "Oi, I said I'd answer some questions in general, I'm not talking about my sex life with you."
"Eh? Is it that dull?"
"Shut up! Just because I don't want to talk about it doesn't mean it's dull!"
Thoughtfully, Nagisa mumbles around a fry, "It's hard to even imagine Mako-chan doing it..."
It's too easy for Rin. The last thing he needs to be thinking about in the middle of the fucking mall is 'Mako-chan doing it.' To him. Real, real hard. Maybe with a little spanking and dirty talk and those big hands pinning him to something, holding him in place as he gets thoroughly - "N-now who's picturing things? What happened to 'it's pri~vate'?"
"My love life is private." Another eyeroll. The redhead hopes they fall out. "I don't kiss and tell, Rin-chan! That's really tacky!"
Rin needs this to end, so he snaps, "It'll probably hurt the first couple times, for - " the guy getting his ass pounded into, Rin doesn't say in the face of the wide-eyed, cute blond, "one of you, but neither of you are huge so it doesn't matter as long as you prep right and figure out what the hell you're both comfortable with and how to relax."
Of course, Nagisa misses the point spectacularly and gasps, "How would you know neither of us are huge? Rin-chan's been looking at Rei-chan's thing!"
"It's not like that!" It's really not like that. Or at least it's mostly not like that. " - He, he wears a fucking tiny speedo to practice!"
"Yeah, he does," sighs Nagisa, a bit dreamily. Rin regrets eating a cheap burger, which is now roiling in his stomach. Rin regrets becoming friends with Nagisa. Rin regrets a lot of things, really, there isn't enough time in the day to properly account for it all.
They eat a few more bites of their respective meals, Rin trying to drown his sorrows in strawberry smoothie and Nagisa being an unstoppable garbage disposal, as usual. Eventually, though, Nagisa looks up (with honey mustard on his cheek) and asks too honestly, "How will I know when we're ready?" The blond laughs, as if trying to brush the seriousness of his own question off. "It's, it's kind of a big deal, isn't it?"
As casual and matter of fact as Rin would like to play this as, it... kind of is a big deal. At least, he knows it will be for Nagisa and Rei. They're not just guys saturated in hormones trying to get off. They're stupidly into each other, care about each other, just like himself and Makoto. Call him a romantic, but it'll be something special that they share. "You won't," he responds. "Know, that is."
"Then - "
"It's not like in dramas," Rin preempts, because he knows now Nagisa has based roughly half his life on soap opera TV. "It's not like preparing for a test, either, that dork Rei should know. Nobody really ever feels ready, so if you feel nervous or whatever, that's fine. It doesn't mean you and Rei suck at dating or anything."
Relief visibly breaks across Nagisa's face. "It's just - been stressing Rei-chan out a little," he admits, eyebrows pinching as he chuckles wanly. "He doesn't want anybody to get hurt and I think he's worried about, um, performing well. You know how he gets! He's all worked up about it even though I told him it'll be fine and I don't care about that stuff!"
"Completely talking out your ass," Rin finishes for him. "As usual."
Nagisa shoots him a frustrated glare. "No! Well, a little. I just thought - maybe if I could get a better handle on it first, I could help him get it." Typical Nagisa, trying to tackle a problem by himself so his friends don't get inconvenienced. Typical Nagisa, being brave and mature when nobody's looking and trying to cover it up with being loud and obnoxious. Rin would find it irritating if he didn't find it so admirable. He blames this admiration for what comes out of his mouth next.
"Me and Makoto's first time was kind of a disaster," he states, and Nagisa goes silent, those pink eyes unblinking. He remembers damn well that Rin explicitly said he wasn't going to talk about him and Makoto. The sacrifices he makes for these idiots (all of which he'd make a hundred times over, but still). "We were both really nervous and I was trying to rush things, and I couldn't relax, and Makoto was freaking out, and I - " cried like a fucking idiot because it was all just so stupid and intense and he didn't want to let Makoto down, " - got frustrated and basically ruined everything. But then we took a break and just sort of hung out for a while instead, and - " had a really embarrassing conversation, naked and touching each other softly, about trust and being eighteen, young, and kind of dumb, " - talked about it, and then we ended up trying again."
Rin takes a breath, finishing with his eyes focusing on the spot just above the other's head, "And then we finally managed it, but Makoto got off way too quick, and then his family came home from the store and I had to sit through family dinner at the Tachibana's totally blue-balled and with the sorest ass I ever had in my life."
Nagisa's jaw has dropped directly into his fries.
"We had fish," the redhead adds flatly. "Skipjack tuna."
"And you did it again?" Nagisa asks, a bit frantic. "After all that, you guys actually did it again?! That sounds horrible!"
"That's what it's like," Rin shrugs. It's a fact he's had to come to terms with, considering he's had lube stuck to his inner thigh while Makoto's mother smiled and asked him about his classes. "You like someone a lot, and your life gets horrible and embarrassing, but sort of amazing too."
"What the heck's so amazing about that?!"
"That we did do it again," Rin replies with a maybe surprising patience. "And again and again, 'till we got better at it. I'm not gonna tell you it's not still embarrassing sometimes, either, because it is. Last week Captain Mikoshiba saw Makoto get hard at joint swim practice." Nagisa makes a choking sound. "Makoto still can't look at him for more than six seconds at a time. But that stuff doesn't matter as much as you think it does, after a while. Not if you really, really like the other person also getting the shit embarrassed out of him."
Silence greets him from the other end of the table, and Rin rubs a hand through his hair, feeling - you guessed it - embarrassed. His treacherous mouth attempts to clarify, "...It just comes down to the jump, you know? And if the other person's still holding your hand after you hit the water, bellyflop or dive." He shrugs again. "Rei's totally crazy for you. So there's - really nothing to worry about."
This has probably been the longest time Rin has ever heard Nagisa stay quiet. The gears are turning in his head, processing everything in that whirling dervish Nagisa calls a mind, and the conclusion he arrives at isn't the one Rin was expecting. "I'm so sorry I called Rin-chan mean before!" the younger blurts, jumping out of his chair and suddenly catching Rin up in a hug. Rin fights it, on principle, but he's actually sort of relieved. "I feel much better now!"
"Alright, good, let go of me," the Samezuka swimmer flusters, grumpy. "Oi, let go."
"Mako-chan's a really lucky guy," Nagisa insists, which is - not something Rin hears often. He knows what it looks like, the two of them together - Rin the longtime fuck-up and Makoto the sweetest, kindest boy in Iwatobi. They're both more than that, Rin knows, but he can't help but see himself as an obstacle sometimes, even now. He wants to be good. He wants to be good with Makoto. "He really, really is!"
"Leave off," Rin gripes, pinking. Nagisa smiles. "Let's get out of here already." It's way past time to chuck out their empty plates of food and leave the scene of this crime of a conversation.
Nagisa follows suit, standing up with him and grabbing debris, but he protests, "I have more questions though!"
"Huh?"
The boy's earlier shy hesitance is completely gone. "What's the best position? I heard something called reverse-cowgirl is great! Do you know what that is? What kinda lube do you guys use? What happens if you eat it? Haru-chan said you like it rough, does that mean you know about whips and leather and stuff? Oh my gosh! Is Mako-chan your S? Hey, can you show me how to do a hickey?"
And it's now that Rin chokes on absolutely nothing, reaching out to grab the younger's head in the Iron Claw. The idiot's still got honey mustard on his cheek.
"Ehehe, just kidding, I know how to do a hickey - waaah, Rin-chan, that hurts!"
Bellyflop or dive, Rei and Nagisa are gonna be fine.
If Nagisa survives the trip back home, that is.