Chapter Text
The guys were rushing to clean the gym after an extended practice. Daichi picked up a mop to go help the others, but Tanaka pulled it from his hand and ran off with it, laughing.
"Oi, what was that for?"
"We can wrap up by ourselves, captain - you've got other places to be!"
Standing next to Daichi, Noya nodded eagerly. "Most definitely! You can't keep your girl waiting!"
Putting on his jacket, Daichi closed his eyes.
Yeah, she's waiting for me by the gates. She always is ... no matter how late we practice.
The thought should bring a smile to his face, but he couldn't even bring himself to turn the corner of his lips upward.
Noya pulled him out of his thoughts: "How long has it been since you and Michimiya got together anyway? Has it been half a year already?"
"No ... something like 4 or 5 months, I think."
"Daaaaaaichi, come on! You don't even know for how long you've been together? Damn, you must be really in love with her! Is it so great that you don't even bother keeping track of time any more? I always knew you'd be super romantic when you guys finally got together!"
"Wait ... what do you mean you always knew?"
Noya stopped jumping left and right and looked at Daichi with confusion: "Well, what do you think I mean? It was obvious, the whole time! We all knew you had feelings for her! Or did you think we were completely oblivious to how great you guys were together? We all shipped you two! We all knew, you idiot!"
"Heh, I see ... thank you, Nishinoya."
"Yeah yeah, now haul your ass. I BARELY forgave the fact you waited for HER to make the first move, if you keep her waiting I'll be mad at you again!"
"Got it, got it, I'm already going." He said in an attempt to calm him down.
He took his bag and slowly walked towards the club room to change clothes. Going from the club room to the gates, his pace was even slower and he was almost dragging his feet, lost in the thoughts which the practice usually silenced - but as soon as the ball dropped for the last time and the mops were brought out, the same old feeling of pain and regret crept back into him again and again for the past 5 moths.
I should be happy now. I should be so happy now ... ah, Nishinoya, if only you knew how far away from the truth all of you are ... but then again, I'm the one who's standing the furthest from the truth, and still running away from it.
He suddenly heard his name called out and looked up to see Michimiya standing a few meters away, waving her hand.
He jogged up to her and gave her a hug. "You didn't have to wait for me ... I feel bad for making you stand here every day!"
She shook her head: "No, it's my own decision to wait for you!"
They held hands on their way home like they always did, but Daichi still felt like he had to apologize: "I know, but I was super late today, you rea-"
"I had to."
He looked at her, surprised at the sudden determination in her voice.
They were just walking past a playground and she tugged on his arm. "Can we go sit on the swings?"
"Sure," he nodded.
They sat down on the swings and stayed in silence for a while, only the creaking of Michimiya's swing disrupting the awkward atmosphere between them.
"Daichi ... we have a problem."
He didn't know what to say.
"Daichi?"
"Uhm ... what's wrong?"
"I love you."
He chuckled awkwardly. "I know you do ... you've told me at least once every day for the past 5 months. I don't see what's wrong here?"
She sighed, a tear rolling down her cheek as she looked up towards the sky.
"You've never said it back."
He bit his lip.
Perhaps a bit too strongly because he could taste blood faintly seeping into his mouth, but that just made him grind his teeth down with more force.
No ... no, no, no. Please, someone tell me this isn't really happening.
"Daichi?"
He turned to face her, momentarily at a loss for words before he was finally able to speak again: "Yui, I ... I think you're an incredible person, I've always admired you ever since we were in junior high together, I've always liked how much you smile and how you always do your best! I've been so proud every time you relied on me for advice, every time you asked me to help you practice receives ... and when you asked me if I wanted to go out with you, I was completely shocked ... I think you're absolutely too good for me!"
It was his best attempt to convey how much he cared for her, but she returned his trembling gaze with the utmost piercing look in her eyes:
"But ... do you love me?"
His gaze fell to the ground as he clenched his hands into fists. "I ..."
Come on, just say it ... it doesn't matter. Just say it. "I love you."
As he repeated those words in his mind over and over again, images began to flash before his eyes - images he swore he would never think of again.
Three years ago. Entrance ceremony. I'm running out into the yard, I'm going to meet up with Yui like we planned to - she's standing there, waving her hand as she sees me ... and you're standing next to her, as shy as ever. I wish I could turn back time and make it so that you'd never befriend Yui on that day, so that she'd never introduce you to me in the first place ... so that I wouldn't have to live with the curse of falling in love with you.
In the mean time, Michimiya stood up from her swing and stretched out her arms.
"I knew it. Heh, I knew it all along, but it still hurts this much. It's not me, is it? I was so happy when we started high school and you were coming to my classroom all the time and talking to me, but ... that wasn't because of me, was it? It couldn't have been. Because I've been in love with you for as long as I can remember, but from the moment you saw her, she's the only one you've ever had eyes for. I know that. I knew it when I asked you out. And yet you still said yes to me - why?!"
"I ... I didn't want to hurt you by turning you down. And I thought maybe, I could get over her and ... and fall in love with you."
"But you didn't."
"I didn't."
Silence loomed over them for an approximate eternity and it was starting to get unbearable.
"Yui, I'm so-"
"Don't you dare." She snapped back at him.
Still sitting on his swing, he looked up at her.
"Don't you dare apologize to me now, Daichi. Don't you dare. It's my fault in the end. I knew you were in love with her and still ... I hoped you might fall for me if I tried hard enough. But that's not gonna happen, I think we both know that now."
"I really didn't want to hurt you."
"I know. Look, I'll be fine."
She managed to force a smile, but he saw right through it. "You won't be."
"Well, not right away, I admit. I'm gonna go cry by myself in a corner somewhere, you know I'm good at that ... and then eventually, I'll be fine."
"Bu-"
"No more excuses, Daichi. I faced my reality - now you have to face yours."
"You can't be serious."
"Oh, but I am. Goodbye, Daichi. Thank you for everything ... and I hope that after a while, we can be friends again - just friends."
She said, walking away with a slow and steady pace. He could hear her start running as soon as she was out of his sight, but his own feet were cemented to the ground. He couldn't even stand up, much less walk home ... and so he sat on the swings, alone.