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“Clarke,” his voice sliced through the air. My breath stopped as I studied his furrowed brow. His eyes tracked from behind me and back again. I saw the moment his brain figured it out.
I stepped forward once but stopped when he held his hand out. “Bellamy.” I murmured.
He shook his head running a hand over his face the other stationed on his hip. “Don’t.” his voice was harsh. It had been so long since he used that tone with me. It was like we were back to day one on earth arguing over supplies.
We were surrounded by a room full of people, but I felt like it was just me and him. I knew what he saw, Lexa and I standing together. I knew the pain it caused him, but how did I explain to him that I need to be here for now.
That the mountain had broken me.
I was broken.
Miller's voice broke our silent tension “Bellamy, time to go.”
Bellamy nodded his eyes never leaving mine. Ask me to come back. My selfish mind chanted that thought repeatedly. I’m broken but ask me.
He took two steps toward me, our feet almost touching. I froze, it had been months since he was this close. Months that I spent thinking about how he was and if he would ever forgive me for leaving.
He opened his mouth and my mind rejoiced. He’s going to ask. He’s going to! Instead, his words were low for my ears only “I know you aren’t coming back with us. I don’t think we need a repeat of last time.”
I clenched my jaw willing the tears to not build. His words were harsh, but he was right. That day outside the gate I had left. Left all of them to pick up the pieces. Left him to figure everything out by himself.
My voice was scratchy as I scanned his face memorizing every freckle. “I’m sorry.”
He swallowed once, twice. His eyes roamed my face as if he too was trying to memorize me. With a quiet “May we meet again.” He turned swiftly and left the room.
I watched his back until he turned the corner. As I turned to face Lexa I couldn’t help but feel I just made the wrong choice. After everything Bellamy and I had been through how did we end up here?
“May we meet again,” I mumbled.