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Jungkook looked at Jimin’s sleeping form as he stroked the elder’s side gently. Jimin always looked peaceful in his sleep except for the few times he’d had a nightmare. Right now, his face was relaxed as he slept deeply. His even breathing was soft and delicate, his eyes closed and the eyelashes fanned over his cheeks made him look so ethereal. Jungkook moved his hand up and caressed the elder’s cheek and pushed the hair out of his face. With a sigh, Jungkook leaned forward and placed a kiss on Jimin’s cheek.
It had been an hour since Jimin had poured out all his inner feelings to Jungkook. After having said everything that was on his mind, Jimin had curled up into a ball on the floor and began crying. It had been softly at first but then Jimin ended up balling his eyes out. Jungkook had always ignored Jimin when he was crying, having gotten used to it, but this time was different. The broken cries Jimin emitted struck a chord somewhere in Jungkook and for the first time, he actually felt bad about what he’d done. But he didn’t feel so bad that he would let Jimin go. That would never happen. No matter how much Jungkook saw Jimin cry he wouldn’t let the elder go. Jimin would have to learn to love him or stay miserable living with him. There was no other option for him.
Jimin had his hands over his face as he cried into them and after a few minutes of just standing there and listening, Jungkook finally decided to comfort him. He went to Jimin and crouched down so he was level with the other. Then he reached out and removed Jimin’s hands from his face. He looked at the elder’s tear-stained face for a couple of seconds before pulling Jimin into his chest and wrapping his arms around the other. Jimin continued crying into Jungkook’s chest, his tiny hands fisted in the younger’s shirt. Jungkook just sat on the floor with Jimin in his arms and let him cry. He didn’t say anything because he still had nothing to say. They stayed like that for a while until Jimin’s cries began to quiet down to just sniffling. Even those stopped eventually as well. Jungkook waited for a bit after Jimin had completely gone quiet, and then pulled away slightly. When he did, he saw that Jimin was asleep. Jimin had cried himself to sleep. Seeing the elder asleep, he carefully picked him up and took him to their bedroom. He laid Jimin down and covered him with a blanket before getting in beside him.
Now Jungkook had been staring at Jimin for well over ten minutes, just taking in Jimin’s lovely features while thinking about what to do. He knew that he couldn’t pretend this didn’t happen. If he continued on as if Jimin had never said anything about his true feelings, then he’d only break Jimin down more, which was the opposite of what he wanted to do. Jungkook realized he needed to change...but how was he going to do that? He doubted just being nicer to Jimin would be enough. Maybe he could stop punishing the other for every single mistake? Yea… that would be a start but...it probably wouldn’t be enough. Jungkook sighed again as he continued to stroke Jimin’s cheek.
Changing was hard and Jungkook knew he wouldn’t be able to change overnight. He needed a plan, some way he could keep his anger in check as that was the main reason he would hurt Jimin. He continued to think about what he could do to change their situation and fix Jimin, but his mind was only drawing blanks. Jungkook groaned and gave up, he’d think some more later. So he wrapped his arms around Jimin and pulled the elder closer. He snuggled his face into Jimin’s hair and drifted off to sleep.
Days passed and Jungkook was still clueless on what to do to fix Jimin. He was being nice and had stopped hurting Jimin for the most part. He was having a hard time, but he kept his temper in check. Still, Jimin didn't seem happy. Jungkook wasn’t even sure if Jimin noticed any changes in his behavior. Jimin was still acting like a lifeless doll and only did what Jungkook asked him to do. He still didn’t talk much, and if anything Jimin had gotten even quieter, and Jungkook didn’t like that, but what could he do? He didn’t want to threaten Jimin anymore so he couldn’t say anything to the elder.
“Jimin?” Jungkook called out after a week had gone by and very little had changed. Jimin looked up from the book he was reading and waited for Jungkook to continue. They were in the living room sitting across from each other. Jungkook was on one end of the sofa flipping through the TV channels while Jimin was silently reading a book on the other end of the sofa.
“Would you like to go take a walk in the garden with me?” Jungkook asked. Jimin remained silent and didn't answer for a few seconds.
“...Do you want me to?” Jimin finally asked.
“I’m asking you if you want to,” Jungkook replied.
“If you want me to,” Jimin said looking down.
“No...I’m not going to make the decision for you. If you want to, then we’ll go, if you don’t, then we won’t.” Jungkook responded pressing his lips together. Jimin remained silent once again and a minute passed before Jungkook saw the other nodding his head, though it seemed as if he was doing so reluctantly.
“Are you sure? I’m not forcing you Jimin. I mean it, we’ll do what you want.” Jungkook spoke again.
“I’ll go,” Jimin replied closing his book and setting it to the side before standing up.
Jungkook smiled and stood up as well. He reached out and took a hold of Jimin’s hand before leading the way to the back door. He input the combination being careful to make sure Jimin couldn't see the code. He then opened the door that led to the garden and stepped out, Jimin in tow. They walked outside in silence. Jimin quietly observing the different flowers and taking in the fresh air. It wasn’t often that Jungkook would allow Jimin to come outside and so Jimin had grown accustomed to being indoors all the time. While he still liked going outside, he no longer craved it. Because going outside only reminded him that he couldn’t even do something as simple as getting some fresh air without Jungkook’s permission. Being outside would also remind him of what having freedom was like and he hated being reminded of that.
“Jimin...let’s talk about last week,” Jungkook said. Jimin stayed silent as he continued to walk alongside Jungkook.
“Everything you said...I did a little reflecting and I think...I think I realize just how mean I’ve been to you, and I’m sorry. I’m going to try to change for you, but I need you to cooperate with me and try to return to the way you used to be.” Jungkook continued. Jimin was still silent and Jungkook began to wonder if Jimin would respond at all or even if he was listening.
“Jimin?” He questioned growing a little impatient.
“I can’t,” Jimin responded.
“Why not?” Jungkook asked his anger growing again as he stopped them and stood there to glare at Jimin.
“Because you won’t change,” Jimin answered wincing as Jungkook tightened his grip on the elder’s hand.
“I said I would!” Jungkook shouted.
“Yet you’re already growing angry at me,” Jimin responded calmly as he gazed at Jungkook with tired eyes.
“That’s because you’re testing my patience. I’ve been kind to you all week but you still insist on acting this way.”
“And that’s why you won’t change...you think by being kind you can fix this. But that isn’t enough. It never will be.”
“Then what do you want me to do?!”
“Even if I told you, you wouldn't do it.”
“Do what? Let you go?! Of course, I won’t do that!” Jungkook yelled glaring at Jimin angrily.
“No, I wasn’t going to ask that,” Jimin responded shaking his head.
“Then what?” Jungkook asked confused.
“...I want to see our friends again. I want you to change and give me more freedom.” Jimin answered.
“That’s the same thing as letting you go!”
“It isn’t. Letting me go means letting me leave you, and you won’t do that. So the next best thing is for you to actually treat me like you care about me. To let me go out and see our friends instead of keeping me locked up.” Jimin said.
Jungkook stood there in silence taking in what Jimin just said. When had he become so courageous? Before Jungkook had broken Jimin's legs, Jimin had always been meek and scared of the younger. But it seemed that changed when Jungkook broke him because now Jimin rarely spoke but whenever he did it was always meaningful and a bit daring in Jungkook’s opinion. Whatever he’d say would make Jungkook think and he would always somehow feel a bit of regret seeping into him. It was like Jimin didn’t care anymore. It felt like Jimin didn’t care if he got hurt anymore like he’d resigned himself to that fate.
“If I give you more freedom, you’ll leave me.” Jungkook decided to say.
“If I leave, you’d find me and bring me back somehow. And then you’d never trust me again. I’d lose more than I’d gain if I left.” Jimin replied.
“Is that your way of saying you won’t leave?” Jungkook asked and Jimin nodded.
“If I do this...if I give you more freedom and promise to eventually let you see our friends again...will you be happy?...Will you go back to the way it used to be?” Jungkook continued. He wasn’t sure if he should agree but...maybe he should? Maybe this would make Jimin actually love him and never leave him?
“Do you want the honest answer or a satisfactory one?” Jimin asked looking down at the ground.
“What is the satisfactory one?”
“Yes, I’ll go back to how it used to be.”
“And....The honest one.” Jungkook replied a little afraid to hear what Jimin would say next.
“Jungkook...I’ll probably never be happy with you.” Jimin said with a sigh before continuing, “You’ve hurt me too much for me to even think of forgiving you. But...if you really do change, if you treat me like you care...I might learn to forgive you if nothing else.” Jimin finished and looked up to see how Jungkook would react.
Jungkook could feel his fists tightening when Jimin said he would never be happy with him, but he forced himself not to react violently. He wanted Jimin to say he’d be happy with him, but he guessed that would be too much to wish for. He turned away from Jimin and tried breathing deeply to calm himself. He’d have to settle for Jimin forgiving him if that’s all Jimin was willing to do….but could Jungkook really trust him? He didn’t feel like he could. He turned back to Jimin who was still gazing at him calmly. However, when Jungkook looked closer he could see that Jimin looked a little scared.
“I don’t know if I can trust you enough to give you what you want…” Jungkook finally said. Jimin looked down again and Jungkook heard him let out a small scoff.
“See...I told you, you won’t change.” Jimin mumbled quietly. Jungkook knew Jimin was right to say that but it still irritated him.
“I will.” Jungkook insisted.
“...show me then...change for me,” Jimin said looking back up at him with a hint of anger in his eyes.
“Fine, I will,” Jungkook said grabbing a hold of Jimin’s arm and taking him back inside. Jimin let out a small yelp before running along to keep up with Jungkook who was kind of dragging him. Once inside Jungkook closed the door and then told Jimin to pay attention.
“The code to this door is 0514 and the code to the front door is the same,” Jungkook said as he punched in the code he’d just said to prove he wasn’t lying. The light turned green to indicate it was now open. Jimin stared at the door and then looked up at Jungkook, his eyes wide. He’d been living with Jungkook for over six months and not once had Jungkook ever let him learn the code. And now he was just telling it to him?
“Now you can go out whenever you want….let’s let this be the first step to changing,” Jungkook said as he turned to Jimin and pulled him closer to look down at him.
“It’s a start ok?” Jungkook asked and Jimin slowly nodded. Jungkook pulled Jimin closer and hugged him tightly.
Over the next couple of days, Jimin went outside often since he now knew the code. He rejoiced in the small freedom. Overall he was still unhappy but he was happier then he used to be. Jungkook could sometimes see a smile on Jimin’s face whenever the elder opened the door to go outside. It made him feel better to see it. Maybe giving him more freedom wouldn’t be that bad...maybe Jimin wouldn’t betray him by leaving.
“You go outside a lot,” Jungkook commented on the third day since he’d given Jimin the code. The two were eating lunch and Jimin was rushing so he could go back outside.
“Yeah...it’s nice to be able to go outside,” Jimin responded.
“But you should wear a sweater in the evenings, it’s getting cold,” Jungkook said.
“Ok,” Jimin replied.
The two had begun talking a bit more to one another now, and it made Jungkook happy to actually be able to engage Jimin in conversation once again. Even if their conversations were on the short side, for now, he was happy with it. After all, progress would take time. But he was starting to think Jimin would eventually talk with him like he used to.
As the week progressed, Jimin seemed to get over his initial joy of being allowed outside. He began to spend more time inside again and Jungkook noticed that Jimin wasn’t smiling as much. Seeing this he decided to make a plan. The next day he gave Jimin access to his laptop for an hour. Jimin had looked so surprised but also smiled so Jungkook was satisfied. Jungkook let Jimin use the laptop with his supervision for a few days, but then let him use it without him being there. The only reason he did that though was because he’d installed a program that would track what Jimin was doing. Thankfully, Jimin didn’t do anything that would lead to him leaving, and Jungkook was relieved. And it made him think that maybe...just maybe...Jimin wouldn’t try to leave even if Jungkook gave him his freedom back.
Over the course of the next couple of months, Jungkook kept giving Jimin more and more freedom. He started by giving Jimin unlimited access to his laptop, then he brought the elder a new phone but he kept monitoring it for over a week. He was really scared when Jimin called their old friends but was relieved when Jimin didn’t mention anything about what Jungkook had done. At the end of the week when Jimin called Yoongi, Jungkook had been tense, thinking maybe that was the moment. Maybe Jimin was finally going to betray him. But he didn’t. Jimin had a pleasant though slightly awkward conversation with Yoongi.
“Thank you,” Jungkook whispered that night as they were cuddled together in bed.
“Hmm?” Jimin hummed confused and looking up at him curiously.
“Nothing.” Jungkook murmured kissing the top of his head softly. “Go to sleep baby.”
Jimin yawned and nodded as he drifted off. Things went on like that, as Jungkook allowed Jimin more and more freedom and even stopped keeping track of what Jimin did on the laptop and phone. In Jungkook’s opinion, things were going great. He was closer to Jimin then he had ever been. Jimin would talk to him normally now and their intimate moments even felt more intimate. Jimin seemed significantly more happier and that made Jungkook feel better...but still something was off. Jimin still didn’t look as happy as Jungkook thought he should be.
One day a week after he’d stopped tracking what Jimin did on the phone and personal laptop he brought the elder he decided to take Jimin out of the mansion. Near the evening he told Jimin to get dressed in fancy clothing.
“Why?” Jimin asked giving Jungkook a strange look.
“Just do it please?” Jungkook requested smiling sweetly.
“...ok,” Jimin responded and went to their bedroom to look for his fancy clothing.
Jungkook also got ready and went to wait downstairs in the living room. It took Jimin about half an hour to get ready but when he finally came down the stairs Jungkook felt himself stop breathing for a few seconds. Jimin looked absolutely amazing. He was wearing a suit that Jungkook didn’t even remember buying him. It was a navy blue color and had eloquent embroideries along the sides and cuffs. Jimin’s brown hair was combed and he had even applied some hair gel. He also had a bit of makeup on, with accentuated his features and made him look quite handsome. It had been a while since Jimin had dressed up as he never went anywhere, so he never saw a reason to. And Jungkook could now see that Jimin was a little awkward over his appearance since he wasn’t used to dressing up anymore.
“How do I look?” Jimin asked once he stood in front of Jungkook.
“Ethereal,” Jungkook replied a little breathless. Jimin looked up at him and smiled before looking down again and pulling at the hem of his suit jacket.
“This...it kind of reminds me of when we were idols,” Jimin said softly.
“Oh...yea I guess we did use to dress up a whole lot back then,” Jungkook responded still looking at Jimin.
“Yeah...so why did you ask me to dress up?”
“Ah right...I’m taking you out,” Jungkook responded.
“Out?” Jimin asked looking up and Jungkook nodded.
“Yea. We’re going to a fancy restaurant for dinner.” Jungkook replied as he took a hold of Jimin’s hand and gently pulled him along towards the front door. They got into the car parked near the front and Jungkook began driving towards the front gate. He input the pin and the gate opened. Then they were on their way to the city.
It was a fifteen-minute drive from the mansion to the restaurant that Jungkook was taking Jimin to. Once they were there, Jungkook parked the car and turned off the engine. He got out and made his way to Jimin’s side and opened the door for the elder who got out quickly and looked around. After locking the car, Jungkook led Jimin inside and then said his reservation number to the lady who greeted them at the door. The lady took them further inside and gave them a table near the windows which overlooked a fancy garden which was lit up with many lights.
“It’s pretty,” Jimin said as he took in his surroundings. Jungkook nodded in agreement before looking down at the menu.
“Get anything you want.” He told Jimin and the elder nodded going to look over the menu as well.
After picking their dishes and placing their order the two sat in silence for a bit. Jungkook kept staring at Jimin, and Jimin sort of shifted in his seat a little uncomfortable. After a couple of minutes, Jungkook struck up a conversation. They talked about pointless things for the most part, but Jungkook took pleasure in being able to make Jimin laugh. When their food arrived they both dug in, and another round of silence befell them.
“This is nice...but why did you suddenly do this?” Jimin asked halfway through his food. He looked up at Jungkook curiously.
“It’s my way of saying I’m sorry,” Jungkook answered.
“Sorry for what exactly?” Jimin questioned confused.
“For everything...and I wanted to give you something,” Jungkook said reaching into his pocket and pulling out a small box. He placed it in the middle of the table and waited for Jimin to reach for it and open it. Jimin did so hesitantly, he looked at the box and then and Jungkook before looking at the box again and opening it.
“Jungkook...what is this for?” Jimin asked lifting the key inside of it.
“It’s a key to a car I bought for you,” Jungkook answered pushing the food on his plate around.
“A car?” Jimin questioned wide-eyed.
“Yes...I’ve decided...I’ll let you have your freedom. You can go wherever you want now, I’ve written the code to the front gate on the box...but please...please don’t leave me.” Jungkook said looking up at Jimin pleadingly.
Jimin was silent for a while but then he placed the key back in the box and set it down beside his plate. He looked up at Jungkook, his eyes filling with tears as he whispered, “Thank you Jungkook.”
Jungkook just nodded feeling equal parts happy and fearful. Now Jimin had the means to leave him...but he really hoped Jimin wouldn't do it. The two finished their dinner and then took a lovely walk around the garden before heading home.
The next morning Jungkook expected to wake up to an empty bed and see the car gone from the driveway. But it didn’t happen. When Jungkook woke up, Jimin was still beside him, cuddled into his side. Jungkook let out a sigh in relief as he gazed at Jimin, his hand automatically reaching out to stroke Jimin’s cheek softly. He leaned forward and kissed him softly on the lips before pulling away and getting out of bed. He went downstairs and started making a special breakfast for the elder.
“Maybe he really won’t leave me,” Jungkook whispered to himself as he thought about the ample amount of chances he’d given Jimin to betray him in some way. He was thankful Jimin hadn’t done it, because honestly even if he did, Jungkook didn’t think he could hurt Jimin for it anymore. He’d really changed and was trying to make Jimin happy. And seeing the smile on Jimin’s face made him feel so happy as well, he didn’t want to ever be the reason it went away anymore. So yea...he could no longer bring himself to harm Jimin...so if Jimin left...Jungkook wouldn’t be able to stop him. But he was starting to believe Jimin wouldn’t leave so he was ok.
He took the breakfast up to their bedroom and placed it on the bedside table before crawling onto the bed and softly shaking Jimin. However, it didn’t seem to wake him up so he began peppering kisses on Jimin’s face until the elder’s eyelids fluttered open and he giggled.
“What are you doing?” Jimin asked in a quiet voice that was still laced with sleep.
“I made us breakfast,” Jungkook replied kissing Jimin’s nose.
“But I’m sleepy, can’t you wait five minutes for me to get out of bed?” Jimin questioned.
“You don’t need to get out of bed since I specifically made the breakfast for us to enjoy in bed,” Jungkook responded as he grabbed the tray and set it between them. Jimin sat up and laughed a little.
“Aw, that’s sweet of you,” Jimin said. Jungkook just smiled and held out a fork filled with pancakes. Jimin opened his mouth and let Jungkook feed him. After a few more bites he grabbed the fork from Jungkook and then fed the younger smiling as he did. Jungkook smiled to feeling utterly satisfied.
Another week passed and Jimin still didn’t leave. He had gone out with the car but he’d told Jungkook beforehand where he was going and when he should be back. Jungkook had worried he was lying, but Jimin did as he said. He always came back when or before when he said he would. Jungkook was so happy and his fears were finally put to rest. He knew Jimin wasn’t going to leave him. He could trust the other. Jimin had even gone out to see their old friends and still come back, and if he did that, then for sure he wasn’t planning to leave him.
A couple of weeks after Jungkook had brought the car for Jimin, the two decided to have a movie day. So they curled up on the sofa and began watching movies on Netflix randomly. Jungkook enjoyed their time together and felt like Jimin did too. As they watched Jungkook felt the need to talk to Jimin..to have a serious conversation, one he’d been avoiding for a while now.
“Jimin?” Jungkook called out and Jimin hummed in response as he curled in closer to Jungkook.
“..have you forgiven me?” Jungkook asked. Jimin stilled in Jungkook’s arms before sighing.
“I have,” Jimin answered after a moment.
“...so you really won’t leave me?”
“I already said I wouldn’t.”
“But...you can now...I probably won’t even stop you.” Jungkook admitted letting go of Jimin.
“You...you won’t stop me?” Jimin asked looking at Jungkook in surprise, movie long forgotten.
“No...I don’t want to see you sad again...so if you leave, I won’t stop you or go after you.” Jungkook replied looking down expecting the worst. It was silent for a full minute before Jungkook felt Jimin’s hands on his cheeks lifting his head up. He stared into Jimin’s eyes questioningly.
“I’m not leaving,” Jimin said giving Jungkook a small smile.
“You’re not?....Really?” Jungkook asked eyes widening.
“Yes...I won’t leave you.”
“Why? Don’t you still want to?”
“I...I thought I did but...you’ve changed. You said you would for me and you did. I never imagined you could. I never thought you’d change so much that you’d begin to hate hurting me. That you would want to make me smile. That you’d even be willing to let me go. I didn’t think it possible that you would begin to actually love me.” Jimin said looking at Jungkook seriously.
“I’ve always loved you!” Jungkook protested and Jimin shook his head.
“No Jungkook. What we had before? That wasn’t love...you only wanted to possess me. I was a mere toy to you, and I was afraid that was all I’d ever be to you….But you proved me wrong. You changed and what we have now? This?...This is almost what love should be like.” Jimin replied.
“Almost?” Jungkook asked confused.
“Yea...the only thing missing was this conversation. Now...now it’s real. Now I know you do love me...and I...I don’t want to say I love you yet. I’m not ready to say it yet...but I think I can with more time.” Jimin continued with a small smile.
Jungkook stared at him for a bit before pulling him closer and hugging him tightly as he began to cry. He didn’t expect this turn of events but he was so happy. Jimin was going to stay! Jimin was even giving him a second chance!
“Thank you,” Jungkook whispered.
“Don’t make me regret it Kookie,” Jimin responded and Jungkook promised he wouldn’t. He knew he wouldn’t be hurting Jimin so long as he could avoid it, and with that thought, he realized he hadn’t just fixed Jimin...he had fixed himself too.