Chapter Text
Like she's been invaded by a virus and they are making a journey or pilgrimage to find the cure Coulson takes her away from the team and they leave to get some help.
The virus is me, Skye thinks.
You can come back from the dead, she thinks, but you can never come back as yourself.
At first she thinks help means SHIELD but it doesn't. Maybe it can never mean that again, not to Coulson. After he tells her about Tahiti and what they did to him Skye understands a lot of things. They travel west and he books two hotel rooms with Pacific views and he is coy about what they are doing here, what help really means. He handles her with care. Am I contagious? she thinks.
Help to Coulson means something she wasn't expecting, and isn't her life surreal now, you've got superpowers you can't control and a doctor's appointment with Iron Man.
It's sunny Malibu, it's richer soil than she's ever know, it's the impossible 1920s angles of Tony Stark's new beach house.
This is not her ideal scenario; she knows everything about Stark, of course – no, no matter what Ward said, she was never a fangirl or a cosplayer and she never got to meet the man personally, she just finds superheroes really interesting and cool. Or she used to, anyway. And Tony Stark, from the perspective of how he's lived a public life since forever and you get to follow that narrative from precocious genius to partying trainwreck to reformed savior, well, it's a pretty good story and who doesn't like a good redemption arc? Skye sure does, and over the years she's been amassing a lot of information on the man, the machine.
She had no idea Coulson knew him, though.
This is not how Skye figured out her first meeting with Iron Man would go, though (and yes, she has fantasized about it); the first time she shares a space with Tony stark he looks pissed, beyond pissed.
Okay, he looks pissed at Coulson, to be exact. And this is a glacial version of how a touching reunion scene should go.
"We're not here for this," Coulson says before Stark can even start.
No, we're here because of me, Skye thinks. Entirely different thing from being here for her.
She's also never seen Coulson look so apologetic. It infurates her because not even for Iron Man – and okay she doesn't know the whole story, she didn't even know they were close, but she can imagine, she imagines it: one might think coming back from the dead would be a joyous occassion. It's not.
Stark paces along the length of his couch. The perfectly dressed vicepresident of Stark Industries (Skye knows this stuff) shifts her gaze from him to Coulson and back to Tony Stark again. Nobody seems to be paying any attention to Skye. She feels like she's just walked on to the stage of an off-Broadway play, mid-scene.
"Oh, yeah, you said on the phone," Stark says to Coulson, like he's just remembering. "You have a favor to ask. Ask."
Coulson explains the details of the case; they are vague and inconclusive. It's the first time Coulson uses words like telekinesis and Skye has to do a double take. She hides inside her body, hugs herself and hopes to disappear from the scene. She's impressed, of course she is –Tony fucking Stark, you understand– and not ready for this kind of scrutiny. Fortunately Stark has his eyes on Coulson the whole time, something impatient and vicious in them.
"Come on, Agent, there's no such thing as telekinesis," he says quietly.
"That's what everybody said," Skye says. "That's what they kept telling me. And now look, ha! I'd say I told you so if I wasn't so terrified."
It's the first non-neutral glance she gets from Coulson in days. It should be a lot more supportive than it is, he is much better at this, she knows. Stark looks at her like he is surprised to find her in her house, like she's a thief and he's about to call the police.
"I'm sure SHIELD has the best facilities," Stark snorts. "In fact, you guys proved you're even more advanced than me – in certain, particular areas, right?"
Because she's behind him Skye can see the slight shift on Coulson's spine as the muscles in his back tense.
"I'd rather not inform SHIELD about the situation at the moment," he explains. "Certain events have come to light – suggesting it might not be safe for everyone to know about this."
About this meaning about Skye.
Tony Stark makes a perverse curve with his lips as Coulson explains her origins, goes back to the beginning of the story; Stark might not be an agent but it sure as hell looks like he knows what 084 means.
"So you need me to keep a secret from SHIELD? To quote the timeless poet: Isn't it ironic? Don't you think?"
"I didn't come all the way out here to apologize," Coulson says.
"You didn't? Mmm."
"Tony," Pepper Potts, to no avail, but Skye knows that kind of voice – guesses all the stories are true.
"I know you don't owe me anything. And I know I owe you... an explanation at least. But I'm asking you to do this, because it's the right thing to do."
Tony Stark doesn't reply. Meeting's suddenly over.
That's when Pepper Potts walks them to the door. Her body language is slightly less hostile than Tony's, operative word being slightly. She even tries a polite smile when she stops Coulson walking out of the door.
"We'll call you tomorrow," she says.
They drive away, there's traffic on the I-10 and it's already sunset, the sand on the beaches dark blue.
+++
They go back to the hotel without a clear answer on whether Stark is going to help them or not.
Skye lies on her bed, trying not to accidentally break hotel property. It looks expensive. She wonders how Coulson's going to justify this in the budget. Weekend retreat for two sounds definitely suspicious. But a lot better than what they are actually doing. She vaguely thinks about calling the guys; not sure who, probably Simmons first, or Ward. She'd like to hear May's voice but the agent is not so big on emotionally-charged phone conversations. Or emotionally-charged conversations. Or conversations. God, she misses Agent May. Skye checks the time and remembers the flight plan – they must be in bed, so it's no use fantasizing anyway.
When she finds she herself can't sleep Coulson invites her to his room to talk. They call it touching base or some other platitude; something nice and safe and normal. Something she's not feeling like, right now. But she takes the offer, hoping Coulson will go back to his usual self soon. That's another person he really, really misses.
He's sitting on a chair so Skye just takes the bed, cross-legged and like a child on a family holiday.
"You would think coming back from the dead might win you some magnanimity around these parts."
"You would think," Coulson repeats.
"I didn't know Tony Stark was such a brat. Life is full of disappointments."
Coulson looks at her for a moment, then down at the floor. "I hurt these people, Skye. Badly."
She notices he has helped himself to the mini-bar, but he doesn't offer her any.
"Hey, you had your own reasons for not telling them. And you were under orders. If Stark can't appreciate that it's his problem, not yours."
"Thank you," he says. "But you're not being very objective here. Imagine you were in his position."
And Skye does. And it's very upsetting. She imagines Coulson letting her think he's dead for months and months and she can't come up with any possible scenario in which Skye would accept his explanation for it.
"Iron Man has a point," she mutters.
What she doesn't say: Iron Man also doesn't have a point – there's no possible scenario in which Skye wouldn't forgive Coulson anyway.
+++
Pepper Potts calls the next morning to invite them over for breakfast.
"You think it's neurological?" Stark asks Coulson, talking like Skye isn't even in the room. He keeps doing that.
"We've made some preliminary tests and it doesn't seem to be the case. But we don't have the kind of technology Stark Industries has, nobody does – specially after your recent investments in your own neuroscience division."
Stark looks surprised and apprehensive; ever since the whole issue with AIM and what went down Stark has decided to establish its own neurology think thank – complete with genetics, biochemistry, the whole expanded field; promising scientists and generous grants from the Stark Foundation. The idea seems to be if they can make it dangerous, we can make it safe; considering how this company made its name it's ironic but also the whole raison d'etre of Tony Stark. He hasn't considered that SHIELD is up to speed on that. On everything, really. Which is why Skye is up to speed on it as well.
When he finally pays any attention to her Stark asks when she started exhibiting signs of this kind of aptitude. She really, really doesn't want to talk about dying – and even though it's the easiest, scariest explanation Skye knows she's not being entirely truthful in thinking, fearing it's the only one.
"I've always been very intuitive?" She tells them about card games and emotional intelligence and that thing where you can guess the next song to be played on the radio.
"I'm no expert," Stark says. "Forgive me I'm just a humble mechanic but I think being able to smash objects into a wall with your mind is a bit different from winning five games of Battleship in a row. I thought we were being serious here."
Asshole, she thinks.
It's like finding out there's no Santa (which by the way she also found out a lot sooner than a kid is supposed to, because, you know, orphan). She remembers she started living on her own around the time of the first Iron Man incidents and she felt comforted by the idea of a world larger than she'd been told, a world larger than her tiny childhood, a world where the heroes had a chance. Maybe she had been wrong to believe it was a good thing.
Superheroes are really disappointing. Skye is glad she's not one of them. She wants to go back to a normal version of being the good guys – to a place where she can lock all the doors in a building from miles away and where she can follow skeevy money trails online, which are not only things she can do, but also non-scary.
+++
She calls Fitz before going into Stark Industries for a scan because that's the kind of thing Fitz would like to know. It's only been a couple of days and Skye already misses everybody. There's this horrible, continuous pressure on her chest like she's not going to see any of them again.
She smiles at the excitement in his voice. "If you happen to stumble upon any room, or workspace, that looks like Tony Stark might have been working in... could you –?"
"I'm not getting sued on corporative espionage charges because you want a picture of Iron Man's lab."
"Some of us are interested in knowing more about the Process of a Genius..." he capitalizes both words.
"Fitz, you are a genius."
"... and not at all interested in being patronized by our teammates, thank you very much."
He sounds irritated. Skye gets it. "Aw. You miss me that much?"
"Mmm... no? What? It's about the Process."
It's all in vain because of course the first thing she has to do upon crossing the holy threshold of Stark Industries is surrender her phone and laptop. And her pens and keys, just in case. The Chief of Security gives her the stink eye like he can tell she's a (former) criminal with outstanding warrants in three states.
The place is huge and when in her life did Skye expect to sitting in a room inside Iron Man's headquarters waiting for Iron Man to tell her if she is an "unregistered gifted"? This is one more extra thing to add to the list of ridiculous things, just because a couple of scary guys in dark suits showed up at her van's door once.
"Jarvis..."
"Medical history uploaded, sir."
She fights the urge to ask again why he designed his software with a British accent.
Stark gives her a curious look. "That's not much of a history."
"You can refer to my physician, Doctor Simmons," Skye tells him. "I don't like check-ups. And I don't like leaving traces."
"Oh yeah I bet SHIELD loves that, I bet they're down with that plan."
She squirms in the chair.
He's right, though. There are a lot of things the organization has made her give up, a lot more information (or lack of) than she'd been comfortable sharing with other people in a long time.
(she can hear it in her mind, Fitz's voice: How can you not have a Social Security Number?, and then she turned around to see Coulson half-smirking at her, She does now, and handing her a paper which was just as fake as all the records Skye herself has ever faked, except this paper was officially fake because SHIELD is very comfortable working around ambiguity, even hers)
Tony Stark asks her when the weird shit started happening to her. Because he didn't quite believe her at first but after she pretty much destroyed his kitchen this morning he's on board with the whole plan. Skye can't control it – can't even think of starting to control it at this point but even she thinks the way the bowl of oranges was knocked over looked particularly poetic, each piece of fruit falling to the floor with a blunt sound that punctuated the demise of Tony Stark's skepticism towards her. He recovered quickly: Let's see what other tricks you can do he said with a wolf-grin. It didn't exactly help matters, or if it helped matters it didn't exactly help Skye's mood.
"Things started falling down in the plane," she tries to explain. "Little things at first. Glasses, plates, folders. It took us a bit to figure out it was me."
"Like Poltergeist."
"No, not like Poltergeist. I'm not a ghost. Wait. Which one is Poltergeist again?"
"Like Carrie, then?" Stark crosses his arms dramatically. "You're way too young to be hanging out with Coulson."
"We're not hanging out. He's my boss."
"Kid, I saw you fling a pen across my living room like a 105 mph fastball. He's not your boss – you are his boss."
He diverts her attention to the map of her brain. What he is using it looks a lot like the Holocom in the Bus, except he doesn't need the table to project the images.
"Is that my brain?"
"Pretty much."
"Is it normal?" She's not sure which answer feels more frightening.
"Dissapointingly normal. Are you sure you are psychic? What number am I thinking of?"
"How should I know?"
"Why are we here at all? You're supposed to be a telepath."
Skye shrugs. "I don't know – thirty-seven."
"Nope. You suck."
"I told you," she protests. "It doesn't work that way. I can't make it stick. It comes and goes."
"What number am I thinking of now?"
She raises an eyebrow. "You're thinking This girl is a fraud and she's wasting our time."
"Okay, that's a little more precise than eighteen but much more interesting so the jury'll concede it. Come on, you can get down now."
He helps her down from the chair; the gesture is almost gentlemanly and another Skye would have appreciated resting her hand on Tony Stark's arm to climb out of a chair.
"Hey, look, your brain did a thing."
He points at the holographic image. Skye doesn't know how to read it so she'll take his word for it.
"Is that...?"
"Yeah, it did a thing. A very little thing but – slightly brighter than normal, there, see – a thing nonetheless. Look at those axons go."
"So... this is real? What's happening to me."
"You're officially a freak now," he says. Skye thinks asshole, asshole, asshole and then he gives her a disarmingly warm smile. "Welcome to the family."
Oh, okay, so maybe there's hope for Iron Man yet.
She thinks she should say something nice back, so naturally she says instead: "How long are you going to keep Coulson in the doghouse?"
Stark turns to her, closing and opening his eyes very slowly. "Excuse me?"
Yeah, Skye can't believe she's picking a fight with Iron Man either. But she has to.
"So he lied to you. Big deal. SHIELD lied to him, too. Plus he died so – you know – whatever your problem is with that I assume Coulson had a way suckier time with it than you. Actually, I know that for a fact. You need to get over yourself."
"Jarvis, did she just tell me to get over myself?"
"I believe that to be the case, sir."
"Just checking. Shocking. No – it's not shocking, I get that all the time. You think you are the first one to tell me that? It's a perennial favorite with women."
Months ago she would have been impressed (and charmed) by the man. Not that he isn't impressive (or charming), even up close. She adjusts the strap of her bag across her chest – it's weirdly light without her laptop in it and Skye feels the old panic of leaving her possessions in other people's hands.
She looks Tony Stark straight in the eye.
"If you don't want to help us, that's fine. I really, really don't want to be here being studied like some kind of lab rat. I don't care about your state-of-the-art research facilities, we can pack up and go. But don't give Coulson a hard time."
"So he's not your boss – you're his bodyguard."
If I could... she thinks.
When Stark asked about what other tricks she had Skye didn't tell him that now when she's asleep and her defences are down she can hear other people's minds clearly; she doesn't retain the knowledge of what she's heard but the shape of it, the trace of what it felt like, remains. She doesn't tell Tony Stark she has felt Coulson, asleep above her on the plane or door to door in a hotel, has felt his nightmares.
She doesn't tell him that even awake she can feel the bitter vestiges of Tony Stark's own nightmares about New York.
+++
Of course Pepper's reticent attitude lasts much, much less than Tony's anger. Politeness melts onto something warmer and Skye is relieved to see that at least someone seems genuinely happy that Coulson is alive.
She calls Coulson Phil, which Skye finds vaguely irritating in some childish way. She feels like she's stepped into a party full of adults and she the clumsy kid, not understanding half the conversations.
"You dated her?" she asks Coulson, getting a vibe.
"We had dinner once."
"Oh My God, you dated Iron Man's girlfriend. How isn't this the only thing you talk about, ever, sir?"
"It was just one dinner."
Pepper is very nice to her – except she keeps calling it "abilities" and Skye feels like a fake.
Ability is something you can use.
Something to be proud of.
+++
Coulson still looks ill at ease being here, despite the obvious improvement in their situation. She suspects it's not just Tony's belligerance. That has to be a factor and she would understand if he was simply irritated but –and you wouldn't know to look at him because he's Phil Coulson, master of the art of the human monolith, but it's not like Skye can't tell– he is jumpy too, jumpy bordering on fearful.
She is back to bothering him in his room, taking over the bed and ordering room service while he's in the shower. She's like a kid crashing her parents' hotel room. Except Coulson is not exactly a parent because yeah, no, Skye wasn't kidding when she told Stark she had great intuition – that also applies to herself.
All things considered she's also slightly scared of being by herself right now. She suspects Coulson knows that too, and lets her do what she wants, even sacrificing hours of sleep because Skye doesn't want to go back to her room until two in the morning. She has promised herself she's not going to inquire about why he's acting so detached. That resolution lasts about two nights.
"Why are you being robot!you?" she asks him.
"Robot!me?"
"That's what I call you when you're being sneaky and/or uncommunicative?"
"Which am I being right now?" he asks softly.
He's not getting out of a serious conversation through teasing this time, Skye decides. "Weird. You're just being weird."
"Back in the day I used to be quite proud of my involvement in the Iron Man case," he says. "I didn't brag, of course. But I felt good about being around these people. I was there in the beginning, sort of. Thought I kind of helped."
"Then what? You discovered Iron Man was a jackass and lost your faith in superheroes? Because that happens."
"Last time I was around Mr Stark I ended up getting stabbed in the heart and died."
Skye gives him a weak smile. "Don't joke about that."
"No."
She sits up. "And what? You think it might happen again?"
Coulson sits on the other edge of the bed, turning to look at her.
"After the Battle of New York I decided I had been too involved with forces I didn't understand, forces beyond my control. Gods and monsters and magic. It pretty much got me killed. I promised myself I wouldn't go back to all that."
"That includes me?" She asks. When Coulson doesn't give a quick reply she elaborates. "Not that I'm saying I could be like Iron Man, or Thor. Clearly I'm not made of that stuff. But you think being around me is bad? Bad for you?"
"No, I didn't mean it that way." He makes an exasperated noise, like choosing the right words is an unbearable task. "I very consciously chose to believe that part of my life was behind me, concentrated on another kind of work. I didn't predict you would–"
"Drag you right back to that life, uh?" She finishes; she tries to make it sound more funny than hopeless.
"Exactly. Then again I didn't predict a lot of things that ended up happening because I met you, Skye. I wouldn't exactly say it's been all for the worse."
"Okay, now that doesn't sound like robot!you, it sounds more like you!you. Cryptic but nice."
He grins and it's the first time he looks kind of relaxed since they arrived. It's the first time Skye doesn't feel like this trip is the worst idea anyone could have had.
+++
She tries to hack into Jarvis before they leave California, twice, just to see how good Tony Stark really is at this stuff; evidently better than Skye anyway, but she doesn't feel too bad about it because if you are deft enough to create an AI complete with sarcasm and britishness you should be deft enough to protect it. Jarvis doesn't seem fit to inform Tony of her attempts, though, and likewise if you are an AI smart enough to be british and sarcastic you should be smart enough to know Skye means no harm. It says it all, the fact that she gets on better with Tony Stark's computer than she does with the man, the legend.
Now she's in Iron Man's workshop, the actual private one; she takes a picture of herself in it and sends it to Fitz. Don't tell she says to Jarvis before the others join her downstairs.
Stark wants to try one last test. It sounds a lot like Zener cards to Skye.
"Yes though – no – not exactly; this is not the 1930s."
He makes her sit on a chair in the center of the room. "This seems silly."
"In almost every studied case of psychokinesis – needless to say, fake, fake cases – the phenomena, yeah I hate I'm calling it that, has been associated to other parallel abilities mainly precognition, or retrocognition, that one is also kind of fun, so no, I don't think it's silly to have you Zener battle Jarvis. Reading my mind the other day doesn't count – I am human and emotional, very emotional, you could have just been very observant. Try reading a computer's mind."
Coulson frowns. "Stark, you've been reading up on this stuff."
"I always do the research. Why doesn't anybody else? And thank you for the vote of confidence, I'm not gonna half-ass a favor because the person asking happens to be a complete-ass."
Skye finds it encouraging that he has moved on to insulting Coulson to his face. The fact that she considers it progress is a sign that even a weekend is too long to spend near Iron Man.
"Okay, I'll take your stupid test. But I'm telling you right now – I can not see the future."
Coulson comes close to her. He rests his hand on the arm of the chair, for a moment she was convinced he was going to hold her hand. He looks somber, and right at her.
"Remember what we talked? People being in denial about their abilities?" His voice is soft and for a moment it feels like they are alone in the room.
"I'm in denial? I don't know. Look, I don't know where I come from and I can't explain why all this weird stuff is happening now but... I think I'd notice if I were telepathic or precognitive. It's just me, I'm just very good at–"
"– knowing what makes people tick?"
They share a tiny private smile. Skye breathes. "I'll take the stupid test."
The test is glorified Zener. Pre-loaded images randomly picked by Jarvis a different speed. She can't see the screen and neither can Stark or the others, just in case she'd happen to be picking up on their reactions and not her own intuition. Or, what was the official name, extrasensorial perception? She thinks she might be getting sick.
Each correct answer is like being slapped in the face.
Don't get her wrong: it would be very exciting, having powers. She would never complain about that. Even after everything (after Mike Peterson) she understands the drive to become something larger than yourself. It's not like Skye ever wanted to have an ordinary life – quite the opposite. But this doesn't feel like having powers. This feels like random crap is happening around her, some of which is not pleasant. And she's not done dealing with the fact that she almost-but-not-almost died and all the things Coulson had to do to bring her back.
"Great," she sighs, afterwards. "We should ring up the Clairvoyant, maybe I'd like to fight him for the title."
"The Clairvoyant?" Stark asks.
Coulson turns to him. "You know that name."
"Only that it has SHIELD all up in arms, he's been running the shots in Centipede, hasn't he."
"He's been causing... some trouble. For us, personally. But I thought Fury didn't inform you on missions anymore."
"Rogers does."
"So you're on the lookout?" Coulson asks.
"That's like the second favor you've asked of me this weekend, how I miss the days when you merely wanted to debrief me or tase me."
When they say goodbye on Stark's hallway, the tallest ceiling she's ever seen, Pepper Potts gives Skye a brief, encouraging hug. It's warm, Skye thinks it's nice and for a moment she is almost sorry to be leaving, before coming back to her senses.
When they say goodbye Stark shakes Coulson's hand and given the mood at the beginning of the trip it feels to Skye like one of mankind's truly great achievements. Even Coulson seems a bit surprised by it; his face doesn't really move but Skye knows that's surprise. She hopes Tony Stark takes her advice about getting over himself – not that she thinks she has any capacity to affect these lives so much greater and above hers. This is the Avengers (one of them anyway) and she's only a footnote, not even a supporting character, and she has the feeling Tony and Pepper will forget all about this visit as soon as they say their goodbyes and close the door.
Maybe not; maybe what they'll take away is that they should just be glad Coulson is back in their lives. Skye hopes so.
"You look horrible, Agent," is what Tony Stark says to Coulson instead of goodbye.
Coulson smiles. "I know."
"Getting killed didn't agree much with you. Or coming back to life, we can't be sure which. So you should – maybe – stay away from that stuff."
"He means take care," Pepper Potts intervenes.
Coulson nods. "I know."
+++
The Bus comes to pick them up in a secret SHIELD airbase near Ventura.
Skye watches May's particularly smooth landing, thinking yes, home.