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To say she was happy would be a true statement; as a matter of fact, she would beam whenever someone acknowledged her confident, joyful gait as she moved about the island, feet sinking in the warm sand as she moved from petting Snorkel, the affectionate canine, to arguing with the dark skinned, jewelry ridden man "affectionately" known as GG.
To say she was totally and completely okay, however, would be a total lie, and if asked if she was doing well, a small frown would tug at the corner of her lips, and she would shift her weight from one foot to another and gaze at the other person blankly, before offering a smile and simply nodding to nothing, leaving the subject dropped like a fish washed ashore.
Oceana Louvier was struggling inside.
It was a hard feeling to tackle; sure, she was happy, very happy, as she sat among her friends around the fire at night. But she wasn't okay.
At night, she would toss and turn in her bed that rested at the end of the cabin. The bed would creak against the wood, and she wouldn't cease until Hayako or ____ got out of bed to ask her if she was alright. She would shoo them, then close her eyes until her body let her sleep.
It wasn't like her friends didn't-
"Hey, Oceana?"
Oceana's chocolate eyes snapped open, glassy with exhaustion. The young female hadn't realized she had been lost in her own thoughts. She brushed back a strand of dark hair that had been falling to the front of her face, fixed her ponytail, and turned her head to smile brightly at who decided to grab for her attention.
She was met with the face of GG, his thin black hair softly coated with sand. He was wearing a simple white t-shirt today, and some black shorts suited for exercising. He had a few golden rings on the majority of his fingers, and the little gems layering them glinted in the sun that was just rising above the horizon of the soft, blue waves of the ocean surrounding the island. He was lounging in a simple, tan beach chair, his dark blue flip-flops half buried in the soft, sandy ground.
"Yeah?" Oceana croaked out, not realizing how hoarse she sounded. Her pale knees felt like they were about to buckle underneath her. Why was her body always so tired? She gripped the rim of her pale green shirt, her soft blue shorts blowing slightly in the breeze. The young female almost sighed in relief as GG gripped another chair behind him and pushed it next to him, so that Oceana could collapse in it, leg muscles satisfied.
"No offense," GG glanced at Oceana, his words combating with his gaze, which just screamed 'yeah, I'm not even trying to act like I'm sorry'. "But you look like you're about to melt into a puddle. Seriously, you're a wreck, dude."
Oceana opened her mouth to reply, but just snapped it shut again when her mind went numb with a stinging sensation as her muscles in her jaw went slack. She didn't feel any motivation to move or speak. She only exhaled as GG wrapped an arm around her neck, letting it rest on her thin shoulders, their skin softly highlighted by the early morning light.
"What gives?" GG questioned casually, kicking a leg up, sand falling around it like a waterfall. His voice betrayed nothing; it was just his usual snarky tone. "I hate to crash your party yet again, princess, but you look like one of those sick seals we treated last week."
Oceana squirmed when GG prodded at her thin shoulder bones, then jabbed at the bags under her eyes. She snapped her jaws, pretending that she was about to bite his finger, which caused GG to lower his hand to rest back on her shoulder.
"Not to mention, you haven't been sleeping or eating well, and ol' Jean won't even let you go out on diving missions with the rest of us anymore," GG continued on, breathing out softly, eyes rested on the pale purple and orange sky. "So, why aren't you okay?"
Oceana's bottom lip quivered. It was the first time anyone had verbally acknowledged that she wasn't feeling like herself. Her sensitive eyes filled with hot tears and one began rolling down her cheek. A clenching feeling, much like a shark nip, rammed her in the chest, and the dams of her emotions began to crumble. Hands shaking, she wheezed and brought one of her hands to her face, leaning into it, and allowing herself to cry and fall apart.
GG withdrew his arm, then suddenly both arms were wrapped around the younger person. Oceana focused on the knobs of the rings on his fingers as he rubbed and patted her back to help her out. The longer she focused on the small things, the less the tears fell.
"Gaston," Oceana's wet eyes fell upon the male, and he removed his arms, simple waiting for her to continue. "I'm terrified."
"Why?" GG leaned back in his chair, casually keeping his gaze on the quivering girl. "It's not like you to be terrified."
"God dammit," Oceana hissed through her clenched teeth, tilting her head back and letting a sigh slip out of her sore throat. "The whole business with this ML person that Nancy keeps talking about. It's scaring me, GG. It's making me feel empty."
Sudden dawning fell upon GG's features, and his eyes filled with realization. ML. The initials of Oceana's father. The man presumed to have died in a submarine crash when Oceana was much younger. When Nancy had brought forth news of a man with no memory who had the initials of ML and wanted pictures of ocean life, Oceana had suddenly unwoven and declined in health. She wanted so badly to know if it was really her father. But nothing was for certain, and she felt lost- stranded.
"I should of known that." GG bit his lip, and, unlike his usual laid back, teasing self, his shoulders fell and he frowned. "I'm sorry."
Oceana wanted to cry. She could feel the tears nipping at her eyelids. But her body was too worn out; no more tears rolled down her cheeks. She just dug her fingernails into her knees and exhaled shakily.
"You know what?" GG suddenly got to his feet, pushing back his chair with the movement. He gave a light pat to Oceana's head, making her glance up. He held out a jewelry laced hand to her and flicked his head. "To the cabin. I'm gonna take this to my grave, but every single person on this island is a dear friend, and I'll be damned if I don't do something when one of you isn't feeling too great. Now get up and let me help you, dude."
Oceana's eyes widened, and she didn't feel herself command her arm to move as she gripped GG's hand and got to her feet. It was so unlike him. She let him lead her to the wooden cabin, not registering anything until she sat on her bed, and GG reclined on his, which wasn't too far away from hers.
"How is resting going to help?" Oceana sighed without being aware of her mouth moving.
"We're not resting," GG stretched his arms out and grinned smugly. "Now, my gal, I may not seem like it, but I'm a damn good listener. C'mon, talk to me. I've got tons of advice."
Oceana's tears returned this time, despite her body's protest, and she instantly felt herself break. Her mouth moved urgently, and she spilled everything, her muscles losing control and her mind revving back to life. She was hyper aware of the tears running down her face, of the slight draft of wind squeezing through the cracks at the bottom of the cabin windows. Her hands shook; they grabbed and pulled on the sheets and blankets of her bed.
And she felt herself relax, lean into the help of her friend.
And, as GG nodded along, offering tidbits of advice, Oceana felt that, maybe, everything would be okay.
Maybe the next time someone asked if she was alright, she could grin, and nod eagerly.