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Leaf In Hand

Summary:

I died, nothing surprising there. But then, I woke up, now that, that’s unexpected.

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Chapter 1: Rise From The Ashes

Chapter Text

I didn't even have time to scream. There was a shout of warning, and I turned around, only to see what would be the cause of my death. The wheels screeched, the car spinning out of control, heading straight towards me. As the lights of the car flashed into my eyes, all I could think was, shit, I wanted to die peacefully as an old lady with fifty cats and what's Dad gonna think? Sorry Pops, end of the line for me.

The car collided with my body, crushing muscle and snapping bones. I bled out slowly, painfully, and not as peacefully as I wished. Before my vision blacked out, I saw the blaring lights of an ambulance and heard the loud siren ringing in my ears.

What a stupid way to die...of course...it...would happen...to…me...


In one world, a young woman with dark hair dyed with blue highlights, slowly bled to death, the blue turning purple, she was rushed to the ER.

Her father, a man in his mid-fifties, arrived just as she passed away, her breaths slowly stopping and her heartbeat growing weaker.

In another world, a young couple held hands as the wife was urged to push. They gave birth to a girl with light brown hair, her blue eyes would become a bright shade of green. She was quiet, only crying when she grew hungry or needed to change her diaper, her eyes were attentive, darting across the room to take in the sight before her. She hungrily gazed out the window, staring at the streets, shops, and the Hokage Monument.


As an infant, I would often have strange thoughts that would fade faster than form. It didn’t really occur to me what happened until the realization hammered it’s way into my brain when a boy stared down at my toddler sized body.

Familiar , I thought, looking at the brunette who stared back at me.  

He smiled down at me and spoke in a soft whisper. “Hi imouto, I’m your nii-san. My name is Izumo and your name is Tsukiko. We have a really big family, it’s a clan called the Kamizuki Clan, even though it got smaller because of the war.”

Familiar, really familiar, I think I’ve seen you before…

“Say hello to Kotetsu!” Izumo cheerfully said, pulling in another boy from behind him.

Kotetsu had really spiky hair, the type that reminded me of Sonic the Hedgehog. Damn, I thought, what hair gel does he use? That’s crazier than an afro! Wait, he looks familiar too, what the hell is going on?!

Kotetsu grinned wildly before proceeding to yell in my ear. “Hey! I’m Kotetsu, I’m way more amazing than your brother and we’re gonna be awesome ninja, together! Then, we always protect you from all those bad shinobi, like Kumo and Iwa nin!”

Three things happened at that statement.

One, I realized what place I landed myself into.

Kumo, Iwa, shinobi...ninja?!

Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit.

HOLY SHIT.

I’m in a goddamn anime!

Two, I realized that I died.

Oh god, the car, oh shit, Dad! Oh fuck me.

And three, this was either some crazy as fanfiction stuff or I’m in canon and I’m probably gonna die again because I know Izumo and Kotetsu and the anime never talked about their family. They were probably orphans too.

GODDAMIT ALL.

Of course, at the moment, I didn’t realize that perhaps the two did have a family and maybe, me being the idiot paranoid and panicky person I was, they weren’t mentioned because these two weren’t the main characters so there was no need to elaborate on their history or character design.

And so, I did the logical thing.

I cried like the pathetic baby I was.

“WAAA!”

Everything went wrong from there.

Izumo, the poor boy, panicked at my sobbing and proceeded to smack the shit out of his best friend, and Kotetsu, poor him too, flailed wildly, knocking over the lamp which in turn, flew out the opened window and made a loud crash as it collided with something on the sidewalk. He also managed to kick over a chair which fell upon the floor loudly and as the two boys began to fight, they tripped on it, toppling down to the ground, knocking over a table just as the bedroom door opened.

Outside, a stray cat yowled wildly and someone screamed in pain.

My Mom (the new one, and isn’t that strange?) gaped at the mess before her before glaring at the two boys on the ground. She gripped the broom in her hand threateningly.

The boys scrambled to apologize.

“O-Okaa-san!” Izumo stuttered nervously. “We were just, I mean, well, we-”

“We’re so sorry!” Kotetsu interrupted. “We didn’t mean to do it!”

“Gomen!” the two boys yelled loudly.

At this sight, I giggled helplessly. My laughter rang through the air and the woman relaxed, she sighed, running a hand down her dress to smooth invisible wrinkles.

“Just, just don’t do it again...and I think you may have hit Inoki-san on the head with that lamp you threw.”

The two boys tripped towards the broken window, peeking out cautiously before turning away to snicker.

“My head! You idiots!” a loud voice yelled.

At this, they froze and shuffled away nervously.

Needless to say, The Great Lamp Incident would never be mentioned again. Inoki-san made sure of it.

Once I had calmed down, I stared at the white walls with a desolate look in my eyes. I think the others must’ve thought the screaming cat broke me but whatever, I didn’t care. All I could think about was going home, I can’t believe I left my father all alone. My dad, my hardworking dad, the one person I cared about more than this whole world. Alone. It may sound cliche, but yes, I read fanfiction and yes, I watched Naruto, and yes, I was one of those people who wished to escape from reality and live in a place like the Naruto franchise.

Except when it actually happens, well, you kinda don’t want to be in a world where being a child soldier is encouraged. Chakra exists, so what? I’m going to fucking die.

Looking back, I was only angry because I missed my dad, I missed the familiarity of the city and all those things I saw everyday for years. I drove a car, rode a plane, biked and I could even fucking run.

Now?

I’m shoved into this unfamiliar environment; I can’t walk, there’s nothing to remind me of home, heck, I can’t even fucking stand!

It made my skin crawl, I wanted to eat a big bowl of ice-cream, curl up, and cry.

Instead, I worried about everything.

What if I start to forget?

What if I die?

What happens if I don’t become a ninja?

Would I die as a civilian?

My thoughts flipped back and forth between changing things or not interfering.

Maybe as a ninja, I might have the chance to go home.

Ninjas can learn sealing and jutsus, those are basically my ticket home. Civilians don’t know that shit! If I’m a civilian, it’ll be like giving up before I try! And yet, as a civilian, I wouldn’t be pushed to kill, to maim, to slaughter like a ticking time bomb instead of being an actual human!

The fanfiction, I giggled bitterly (now that must’ve been creepy to see), all those little 100,000 word stories where the person becomes a fucking ninja and kicks ass. That’s impossible for someone like me. I’ve never been one to get up and keep going. I am the person who staggers and falls, panics and fails. I don’t do this. So why am I even here?

I’m not made for this, I’ve never been. Me of all people, given the chance for a second life and willing to throw it away for familiarity.

Even if I do go back, would dad even recognize me?

I had black hair, I had brown eyes.

Now?

I have green eyes!

What the fuck will I even do?

I’m stuck, in this useless body. I can’t move, I can’t do anything.

Kotetsu and Izumo look young, they haven’t graduated from the Academy, so that means I’m either just before the Kyuubi Attack or just after and if I’m before, will I even survive?

This place, dying in battle is an honor, being a soldier. A fucking murderer is encouraged.

Fear bubbled up, thrumming under my skin as my eyes slid shut.

Tears streamed down my face as I silently cried.

There was an ache in my chest.

I just want to go home.

Notes:

Technically, I promised to work on a story for TIBITB cause TIAFT and DIAWG were fun and my first ideas, but this self-insert was digging it's fingers into the corner of my mind. So it's not exactly gonna be my main focus, but I guess it's a small little thing I'm gonna do whenever I get writer's block for TIBITB.

So I guess basically everyday.

That's sad, my motivation level is in the negatives.