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It had been a long day. No different from the last 1500 days, just long none the less. If Clarke had known what surviving the radiation was going to be like. Day in and day out with just a child to talk to….
She would have done everything the same damn way. Life after the fire was hard and lonely but she still had hope. Hope they would come back, hope that Octavia and Indra were still alive, hope she wouldn’t die alone in this random patch of green.
The days were getting shorter and she knew that she and Maddie would have to work extra hard to start putting stores away for the coming winter. Even now the night air was crisp, and the leaves on what was left of the trees had started to change colors. Part of her wished she could still paint and draw, but those were the wishes of another life time. This life was about survival, hers and Maddie’s. Nothing more nothing less.
Not being able fall asleep right away, with Maddie cuddled into her sleeping peacefully she let her mind wander for once. It started out innocently enough. Thoughts of the Ark, and the delinquents, her mother, all in effort to not think of her. To think of her still hurt. It has been almost 6 years and it still hurt, but it was no use. Once Lexa’s image came to Clarkes mind it would stay. Her smile, those green eyes that contained the entire would in their gaze. Clarke missed Lexa. There was nothing to compare to that longing. Clarke missed Lexa and that was all that could be said, but she stopped crying about it. Lexa’s fight may be over, but each day at dawn Clarke’s began again. With a sigh Clarke turned away from her daughter and for the first time in years Clarke closed her eyes with a tear sliding down.
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Since they slept in the truck most nights Clarke never really slept deep, listening for any sound that could mean danger, it came to no surprise when she heard voices she springs right up. Not taking her surrounding right away she turned to look over at Maddie making sure she was ok first. Alarm set in when there was No small body next to hers, instead a pile of fur, much like those from her room in the tower. In a panic, she looked around. First thing she realized was that she WAS in the tower. Her rooms from when she was an Ambassador across the hall from Lexa’s. Looking around everything was there. Her sketch book on the bed side table, the chest of clothes where she stored her pistol when she was in Polis, the naked armor and weapons rack in the corner. Her heart began to race. This was a dream, a cruel dream, meant to punish her for wanting something she could never have again.
Looking around she noticed there was a golden glow coming from under the door that lead to her sitting room.
Getting up Clarke check to see if she was still armed. Patting her thigh, she was glad to see that her dagger, the last thing she had of Lexa, was still there. Pulling it from its scabbard she edged her way to the door, pressing her ear to it. She didn’t think it was possible but her heart rate increased even further. She could hear voices. Male voices talking in a low murmur.
Pushing the door open slowly she edged her way out trying not to draw attention to herself. What or rather who she saw sitting at her old dining table caused her to cry out. The two men sitting at the table turned to the sound of her cry.
“Hey, Kiddo, how was your nap?” with a smile for his Daughter Jake Griffin Stood from the table and walked over to his now shock-frozen daughter. Standing in front of her looking no older than the day he was floated, he looked pointedly at the dagger in her hand. “I don’t think you will be needing that tonight kid,”
Coming back to herself Clarke started to cry silent tears. Her dad. Her dad standing there. Her dad standing there with his arms out. Clarke knew this was a dream and she no longer cared. Dropping the dagger, she threw herself into her father. Openly sobbing into his chest now she couldn’t speak. It felt so real. The way his rough hands stoked her hair, the feel of his facial stubble against her temple, it all felt so damn real. He even smelled real, carbon and silicon, his every day smell. Clarke didn’t know how long they stood there, just holding each other. Finally, after three minutes or three hours, Jake pulled away to look down at his daughter.
“I know what you are thinking, Clarke. This is and is not a dream.” She looked at him with confusion cocking her head to the side trying to process his words. “Let’s sit down and I will explain it the best I can.” Turning back to the table he wrapped an arm around her shoulders leading her into the room. As soon as he was no longer blocking the table Clarke was grateful her was holding her. There at the table sitting in front of a chess game in progress was none other than Wells, looking just like he did every day on the Ark. Standing when she saw him, Wells waited with a smirk on his face until Jake lead Clarke with in hugging range.
“You look different Princess,” he whispered fingering the red lock in her blonde hair. Again, Clarke had no words, so she just hugged him. She hugged him until her father cleared his throat, capturing both their attention.
Sitting down at the table, Clarke didn’t know what to do or say =, so she just stared at the Chess board. “Checkmate in three, dad,” She whispered.
“Damn, thought I had him this time.” Jake laughed and Wells chucked.
“Never, Jake, not in the last six years.”
With the mention of time passing Clarke snapped out of her shock, looking up at her dad in question. HE nodded ready to give her some sort of explanation. Rubbing his face, Jake took a deep breath. “The simplest way to explain this is this. There is an afterlife, souls are real, and may we meet again isn’t just a salutation.” In one breath Jake just laid it out there. Needless to say, Clarke needed more.
“Say again, dad. You want to slow that down and give some detail. Ok The after life is real, that doesn’t explain why I can see you. You have given me nothing to prove this isn’t a dream brought on by exhaustion and poisoned berries,” Clarke’s shock is wearing off and anger is replacing it.
“Easy Kiddo, I didn’t mean to upset you,” Jake made a placating gesture with his hands. “Starting again. Firstly, there is an afterlife, or after-plane. Remember when we talked about time and planes of existence?” Jake pauses waiting for Clarke to process. Slowly she nods as conversations and lessons from another life filter from the recess of her mind.
“Something about how there are different worlds on different frequencies overlapping each other?” Clarke is grasping at memories of lessons she wasn’t paying attention to the first time.
With a grimace, “Yea lets go with that. Any way apparently when a person dies the energy of their passing must go somewhere, because remember, energy cannot be created or…”
“Destroyed” Clarke cuts Jake off finally remembering something from Basic Physics, “So, when we die we move to another plain?” It sounded too simple to Clarke. Her father wasn’t telling her something. Her eyes hardened, “That’s not everything is it, Dad?” She was doing her best to throw a commander stare. If this was a dream her sub-conscious could do better.
“Ok, I need you to suspend some skepticism for this next part.” Jake rubs the back of his neck as he stares at the ceiling for a minute. “There is a higher power on earth,” he said it fast as if he was trying to sneak it past her. “It doesn’t grant wishes and it is extremely limited in how it can help humans, but it is there. Apparently if I am guessing right, when we destroyed the world in nuclear war it lost a lot of power. However, there are certain times in the year when it has more power than normal. Apparently one of those times is tonight.”
Clarke knew she was dreaming, and possibly dying, there is no way she could come up with this otherwise. She started crying She hoped Maddie didn’t stave to death. Or if she was dying they died together so she didn’t suffer.
Seeing her tears, Wells spoke up, “Clarke weather you believe this or not, you are not dying and in your plane, Maddie is safe and asleep.” Clarke didn’t know if it was Well’s Solid physical presents or the soothing timber of his voice, but she believed him.
“Ok, say I believe all of this, say all of this is real, why me?” She looks back and forth between her father and her best friend.
“Clarke, in the last 6 years you have lost everything, and still you fight, you still use that damn radio trying to get ahold of Bellomy, and despite all of that you gave me a beautiful granddaughter, who grows stronger every day. Whatever power exist here, sees all of that. Think of this as a reward, a reminder that no matter what you have had to do, or will have to do, you are loved.” Jake smiles at his daughter as she takes all of this in. It’s a kind smile, even if there is a little sadness in his eyes. HE has seen it all. This is not the life he wanted for his daughter, but damn it if he isn’t proud of the woman she became.
“So, I am being rewarded with a visit by people who I miss and will more than likely never see again until I die? Couldn’t this higher power helped me find a stash of food, or maybe better shoes for Maddie? I mean I love you dad, but when I leave this is going to hurt even more.” After 5 years of being alone Clarke feels she doesn’t have time for sentiment like this. She need sleep, food and someone to answer the damn radio in that order.
“Well, Clarke, we aren’t the reward,” Wells speaks slowly as to no upset her any more than she already is, “we are the welcoming committee, to help you get over the shock, before we tell you why you are really here, in your rooms, in the Commander’s Tower, In Polis.” Suddenly Clarke is staring at him wide eyed.
Standing with out explanation Jake goes to the door that opens into the hallway. “She across the hall, Clarke. As much as this is your reward it is hers too.”
Stunned Clarke got up and stood in front of her dad, “I don’t know…” She tapers off not even sure what she didn’t know. Lexa was across the hall. Her Lexa was across the hall.
“Clarke, go, she wants this too.” With that Jake genially pushed his daughter toward the ornate door across the hall. She just stood there staring for so long unable to move.
As if Lexa knew she was there, the door opened and there stood her dream. This wasn’t the Commander, Heda of the 12 clans. This was Lexa, soft soulful green eyes staring straight into Blue.
Time froze. Clarke didn’t move, Lexa didn’t move. They just stared drinking in each other. Just like in life Lexa moved first, pulling Clarke into a tight embrace. Just like Jake Lexa smelled like Lexa, Wood smoke and pine. It was too real for Clarke as she stared to cry again.
“Shhhh, shhhhh, my love. This is our time. In this place I am no longer Heda, and you are not Wanheda, we are just Clarke and Lexa. Sliding a finger under Clarkes chin Lexa tilted her face up to press soft lips against soft lips.
The kiss started soft. Two women greeting each other after a long time apart. It began to grow heated as Lexa walked Clarke backwards into the room. Maneuvering around the furniture backwards Lexa sat back on the couch with out breaking the kiss once. On instinct Clarke kept her lips connected to Lexa’s, crawling into her lap. IT was the kiss of life. It forced Clarke to remember things, things that didn’t involve survival. It reminded her that once upon a time she thought she deserved more than just surviving.
Finally breaking the kiss, Lexa looked at Clarke with so much love that it almost hurt Clarke to know the night was going to end. “My love, we could do this for all the time we have, I could take you to the bed and we could make love all night, but I don’t think that’s exactly what you want.”
Staring at Lexa, Clarke ran her fingers up and down Lexa’s jaw line, letting herself remember what her skin felt like, thinking about what Lexa said. Did she just want sex? Was that how she wanted to spend this stolen time with the only person she ever loved. She smiled
“Would you read to me?”
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The Sun was filtering into the Dirty window in the back of the truck. Looking around Clarke almost cried it was a dream. A wonderfully vivid, soul crushingly real dream. She could even remember all of it.
Getting off Lexa’s lap Clarke took off her jacket dropping it to the floor as Lexa selected a book rom one of the nearby tables. With a smile she tucked herself into the corner of the couch. With a smile and a glance she invited Clarke to settle between her legs with Clarks Back against her chest. Before Clarke could get completely settled she felt the hard edge of something being pressed against her bicep . Looking down Clarke saw her lost sketch pad, the one Lexa had made for her. Flipping to a blank page she leaned back, letting herself give in to the warmth and comfort that was Lexa’s body.
The last thing she remembers is Lexa’s soothing voice and the first words of their favorite book.
It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife”—establishes the centrality of advantageous marriage, a fundamental social value of Regency England.
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Clarke just laid there. It was a dream, but it felt so real. So Damn Real. Clarke’s chest hurt. It was as if someone just opened a wound and poor moonshine on it. It burned and pounded. She knew she had to get up but at this moment she didn’t even want to live.
“Clarke, come here,” she could hear Maddie outside the truck. She didn’t care. “Clarke, COME HERE,” Maddie’s voice was getting more insistent.
Sitting up she was in no mood “Maddie, I don’t fucking care, unless it’s a drop ship or a grounder I am going back to bed.”
“Clarke, it’s a bundle of red cloth I have never seen before, I am afraid to touch it.” Clarke could hear the unease.
Red cloth, red cloth. The words were filtering though her half asleep brain. RED CLOTH. Clarke sits up and scoots out of the back of the truck. Maddie was right, sitting on a log next to last nights dinner fire was a bundle of red cloth tied with a piece of leather string.
Approaching it carefully, making sure there wasn’t anything dangerous about is untied it.
It was a simple care package. Containing a white rook, a rolled up peace or parchment and a dog eared copy of Pride and Prejudice.
Clarke knew what she would see when she unrolled the parchment, The smiles of unforgotten friends all in one place, Bellomy, Raven, Aden, Jake, Wells, and of course Lexa. There was silence in the woods as Clarke stared at the sketch.
“What’s that noise,” Maddie Whispered.
Listening Clarke looked down at her wrist. After 6 years her fathers watch was ticking. She smiled and looked back at the sketch. Unrolling it completely she saw writing on the bottom.
In what looked like her fathers scrawl the words “We Will Meet Again” crossed the bottom.
“Who are they” Maddie asked looking at the picture.
“They are Heros, “ Clarke said, “Maybe I will tell you about them after lessons and lunch. “ Clarke rolled the parchment up pocketed the rook and for now wound the Blood red cloth around her like a scarf. It smelled of pine and wood smoke.
With a groan and a smile mother and daughter started their 1501 day by themselves but not alone.