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It had been weeks since Matt had slept with Dom and their relationship hadn’t changed, apparently. Although they hadn’t talked about it (not even after waking up in the same bed, with a big hangover but sober), they seemed to have reached a wordless agreement to never discuss it. They didn’t even do it on that morning, so Matt knew it wasn’t logical to bring it up after all this time. However, that was what he wanted the most because, even while the outside their relationship remained as friendly as ever, inside Matt was feeling different.
He had tried to remain unaffected for what happened on that night of drinking, but the truth was he hadn’t succeeded. For everybody, Matt was behaving as he had always done with Dom: they joked, talked and pissed each other off. Nobody could have denied the sincere friendship that emanated from both. However, Matt couldn’t help feeling that his whole world had changed since that fateful night he had sex with Dom.
The truth was that he felt a bit like an actor every time he was in Dom’s presence. He didn’t mind behaving as he always had. While he loved that their good friendship hadn’t changed even with what had happened between them, he was feeling miserable because he knew nothing was the same anymore. He was surprised that Dom seemed so oblivious to it.
This situation infuriated him and, on more than one occasion, he had been about to face Dom and ask him why they were still friends, as if nothing had happened in that hotel. But Matt didn’t dare to confront him, because he knew he was a hypocrite: he had been so worried that morning when he woke up, because he couldn’t help feeling horrified at the prospect of it all going to hell between them. He had got what he wanted: Dom didn’t seem to mind at all the fact that they had sex.
Therefore, Matt shouldn’t be feeling jealous whenever Dom flirted with a girl.
However, his blood boiled every time he witnessed Dom in action, and on one occasion he was surprised to find himself envying one random blonde, because he knew that Dom would go even further than he had done with Matt.
No, a friend didn’t think like that and Matt didn’t understand what was going through his mind. He felt like a teenager with his stupid first unrequited crush, and that wasn’t right.
The unwritten agreement was that everything was the same, nothing changed between them. Why the hell couldn’t he stop thinking about what had happened that night? Why did he wish Dom wouldn’t try to take every woman who crossed his path to bed? Why did he dream about it happening again? Why did he wanted Dom’s kisses? For God’s sake, it was Dom who he was thinking about! His friend, his band mate! And a man!
Matt was very frustrated, but he had to continue business as usual. Everything was apparently the same between the two of them, and he had to ignore this unexpected (and terrifying) heartache.
***
That night the audience was being especially welcoming and spectacular, and Matt felt better than he had in days. The atmosphere vibrated and helped him to forget his troubled feelings and thoughts. He immersed himself into the air filled with sweat and electricity, focusing only in the music and the people.
After a sip of water, he glanced around to make sure both Chris and Dom were ready, forcing himself not to stare on the figure of Dom, and beckoned.
It was the time for Unintended.
You could be my unintended choice to live my life extended.
As Matt began to sing, the strength of the lyrics that he had written assaulted him and for a moment hesitated in a couple of notes.
You could be the one I'll always love.
It didn’t make sense. It wasn’t the first time he was singing it since that night, however…
You could be the one who listens to my deepest inquisitions. You could be the one I'll always love.
Matt began to have an uncontrollable desire to cry, his eyes starting to moisten slightly. He could almost feel Dom’s presence at his back, the force of his piercing gaze on his neck. No, it couldn’t be.
I'll be there as soon as I can. But I'm busy mending broken pieces of the life I had before.
In a way, his life had changed completely since he had known him. His fate had seemed interlaced with Dom’s since the beginning and maybe this was just the next step. Or was it just what he hoped to be?
First there was the one who challenged all my dreams and all my balance.
As soon as Dom started drumming, Matt had to close his eyes, afraid that eventually some tears would start sliding down his cheeks. He couldn’t let anyone in the audience witness him in that state. Oh, but if only Dom knew what was happening inside him…
She could never be as good as you.
And it was true. Dom and he seemed made for each other, Dom was one of the people he trusted and appreciated the most in the world. But the problem was that he was his friend. His best friend. He couldn’t feel anything remotely like...
You could be my unintended choice to live my life extended.
He shouldn’t think those things. It was useless because what had happened was only a one night stand, caused by alcohol and lack of sex. It was a mistake, it hadn’t meant anything to Dom… Even though the morning after he was so tender with Matt, kissing him again and staring at him like he had never done before. His eyes were full of something that Matt never had seen before, but he had liked it.
You should be the one I'll always love.
His head moved automatically and involuntarily, and his eyes met Dom’s while singing.
I'll be there as soon as I can. But I'm busy mending broken pieces of the life I had before.
As soon as it happened he was unable to tear his eyes from him. It seemed that the world had stopped, all he could feel was Dom, who was staring at him, and the sound of his guitar, that came muffled as if he was underwater. Certainly, he was feeling like he was in the middle of the ocean, and Dom was his lighthouse.
All that mattered now is that Dom was smiling as he had done that morning.
I'll be there as soon as I can. But I'm busy mending broken pieces of the life I had before.
Probably Chris would be staring at them at the moment, inquisitively watching their interaction, and the audience might wonder why Matt had stopped looking at them, playing towards the drums, exclusively.
Nobody could understand what was going on between them, and maybe after they would be asked for some explanation, but Matt couldn’t care less.
He could only focus on that spark of electricity running through his entire body while Dom was speaking at him without words, making Matt realise that there was more. Perhaps it had always existed and they had only discovered it thanks to a huge amount of booze and a couple of orgasms.
Before you.
After ending the song, Matt finally turned to face the people, his eyes closed again, but unable to hold a couple of tears of gratitude.
Oh, he had never desired so fervently to finish a gig in his entire life.
***
This time the place was Dom’s room and they were completely sober.
They got there at the end of the gig, ignoring the suspicious looks that Chris had been throwing at them since they left the stage and running away as soon as they could, without any explanation to anyone.
They hadn’t shared a word and they had barely looked at each other, but it didn’t matter.
As always, the music was enough to clarify many unspoken things.
When Dom closed the door, Matt let out a sigh of relief. For better or worse, there was no turning back: they were alone and they had to face the consequences not only of what had happened nights ago, but also of what they had shared while playing Unintended.
“Well... back here,” Dom began with a shy smile, clearly not knowing how to start the conversation.
Matt let his eyes roam freely over the magnificent view before his eyes: Dom’s sweaty, tousled hair and those tempting muscles accentuated in his arm when he scratched his neck with one hand, tell-tale sign of his nervousness.
Since when had Matt begun to pay attention to the appearance of his friend in such detail? It was a mystery for him. But surely it was proof that something had changed inside him and finally, Matt had begun to accept it.
Unaware of his movements, he stepped over to stand in front of him, at a distance that forced Dom to focus on his face, because Matt was almost all he could see without turning his face. Dom's pupils dilated, and Matt was aware of how his breath accelerated.
“Matt, I...”, it was obvious Dom had lost all courage shown during the concert and on the way to the hotel.
However, suddenly Matt doubted no more. He couldn’t do that, not when Dom was beside him. He could feel how that something that had grown inside him had become tangible thanks to Dom’s immediate presence.
Therefore, without adding any useless words, he took Dom’s cheeks in his hands, caressing the warm skin with his thumbs, silently begging his permission to stop with the nonsense and let him claim what was his.
And Dom, as he had always known he would, nodded almost imperceptibly, his eyes showing the gratitude he felt towards Matt for being the first to take the initiative.
It was the most perfect kiss Matt had ever experienced, because finally he was fully aware of what he wanted with it: he wanted to show Dom that since that night, his whole world had changed and improved, because now he realised that he felt more for him than just a simple friendship.
When they parted, Matt couldn’t keep a big smile off his face, especially when he observed with relief that Dom seemed as pleased as him.
“Wow, it took a lot of effort to reach this point, didn’t it?” he said, making Dom laugh, shyness eventually forgotten.
“Well, I thought we had to remain the same as always, right?” He apologized shrugging slightly, prompting a knowing nod from Matt, who smiled.
“I thought so as well, but I realised I didn’t want to be the same again, because... I can’t see you in the same way anymore, Dom,” he admitted, quite sure he was blushing, but holding Dom’s gaze with courage.
Dom bit his bottom lip, scratching his hair.
“It isn’t the same thing for me anymore, either. Especially after tonight...” he swallowed and approached Matt again, taking his hands and squeezing them firmly in his. “Thanks for that song”.
Matt was speechless. Dom's eyes showed a myriad of accumulated emotions and it was a sight made to take anyone’s breath away. His hands were warm and they gave Matt a sense of security that he hadn’t felt in a long time. It was as if, thanks to Dom’s presence alone, suddenly everything was fine.
It was like if they were meant to be like this forever.
“Chris is going to have a heart attack when we tell him,” Matt replied, breaking the moment of tenderness and making Dom snigger joyfully, soon followed by Matt.
“You’re a complete... idiot...” Dom struggled to say between laughs. “What a way to ruin a romantic moment!”
“Sorry! I didn’t know what to say to that impressive declaration!” Matt tried to apologise, failing because he could barely hear himself above the hysterical laughter of Dom.
“Come here!” Dom had managed to calm down a bit and had sat on the bed. For a brief second insecurity stalked Matt again, but he told himself he had to trust Dom and forget his fears, letting what was happening between them take its natural course.
He slowly approached the bed, sitting next to Dom, their thighs almost touching. He felt his heart beating faster and a thousand possibilities crossed his mind, not knowing what to say or do. He would never forgive himself if he fucked that moment up.
“I was afraid, Dom.” He suddenly proclaimed, the declaration making Dom raise his eyebrows, slightly confused. “The morning after... I was terrified, thinking we’d stop being friends and everything would change between us,” Matt began to explain more clearly, staring at Dom with blue eyes full of intensity, “I couldn’t bear the thought of losing you, not only for the sake of the band, even though I was afraid of that, of course… But because... you're my best friend. And I couldn’t understand, I wasn’t able to get why I still wanted to kiss you, but when you kissed me... I realised that things could stay as they were”.
“And everything can be as it always was, Matt, but...”
“Don’t, let me finish first,” Matt interrupted him, stopping Dom with a wave of his hand, “At that time I didn’t think that, if everything could stay the same, I couldn’t keep enjoying your kisses. But I did, and as we left the hotel room... I started to miss them”.
Matt's eyes were shining with the restrained emotions, the relief of being able to express what he had been feeling for weeks slowly spreading through his body, as if accepting his feelings was a balm that washed away the past angst he had lived through.
“I was dying of jealousy, Dom, every time I saw you flirting with someone. And I didn’t get why the fuck, because we were still mates and that night had been nothing, right?”
“Matt...” Dom tried to cut him off, but stopped at Matt’s pleading look. He had to let it out all at once, it seemed.
“But tonight I understood. Being your friend is not enough anymore, perhaps it’s never been enough, because I want you just for me, Dominic.”
Dom felt slightly intimidated by Matt: he had never seen him so confident in his life, his eyes showing the decision that was implicit behind his words.
“It’s time to go against the rules, Dom, and doing whatever we feel, without doubts anymore,” Matt announced quite solemnly, closing the brief space between them and claiming Dom’s lips fiercely.
All the doubts, all the questions, all the fears definitely flew out of their minds as they lay in the bed, Matt above Dom. They kissed each other passionately, devouring each other as if the apocalypse was to come at any time, because right then, all that mattered was the two of them and what had been born between them.
***
When they finally lay cuddling under the covers, each lost in the arms and the warmth of the other, they both realised that this has been the best unintended accident of their lives. The rules could go to Hell.