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English
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Published:
2017-11-02
Updated:
2017-11-02
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2,719
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1/?
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Taagnus Angst

Summary:

looking for angst, specifically taagnus angst? written in emo-style lowercase? with no happy-ending fix? you've come to the right place, come cry with me
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i only write this when im sad so you've been warned

Notes:

me? dealing with my feelings through fictional characters? no i've never done that what are you talking about
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this just in, im most likely NEVER going to update this. like, no joke. dont read this if you want a continuous series

Chapter 1: i - iii

Chapter Text

i.

“i love you, magnus.”

it all started with those words, murmured in a quiet corner of the moonbase. sitting in a secluded space garden, blue green tendrils hiding the two men from view, magnus burnsides and taako taaco were going to talk.

magnus frowned, chewing the inside of his lip. he had been stressing for a day and a half, trying to figure out the meaning of the note that he found slipped under his door: “we need to talk.” it was short and precise and unsigned, but the sharp angles of the letters that were probably written by mage hand rather than meat hand told magnus that it was taako.

magnus was pulled aside by taako while training with carey and killian, promising to meet up with the two women later for dinner. taako made up some bullshit excuse about moving the furniture around in his room and being too lazy to do it, chattering on about how the bed placement was really messing with his energies even after leaving the weight room. for a little while, magnus was even fooled into believing that taako really did just want to switch up his interior decorating - until taako led him to the garden instead of his room, sitting them down on a stone bench.

“i love you,” taako repeated, stressing each word as if that would make the phrase more believable. “i really, really do.”

magnus was silent as he waited for taako to continue. the elf seemed to struggle with his words for a moment before magnus spoke for him.

“you love me, but you want to break up,” magnus said, begging taako with his eyes to say that he had guessed wrong, that of course he didn’t want to break up, why would they break up, this wasn’t about their relationship at all and it was some other bad news or problem that they could figure out together because they could do anything together.

they were, as taako liked to say, a ‘power couple’. emphasis on the ‘were’, it seems.

taako nodded. “i’m not a… great person,” he said, “as you know. i’m an asshole, and i do asshole things. you know that.”

“but i still love you,” magnus insisted, rushing in to tell the truth, “and nothing you could ever do will change that.” magnus was a man to stand firmly in his beliefs, and this instance was no exception.

“i know that you love me, and that you’ll do anything for me and you’re a great person and whatever, and that’s part of the problem. magnus, i’m an asshole,” taako insisted. “i’m an asshole, and i don’t want to hurt you more than i already have. i love you, and you don’t deserve that.”

magnus processed the words, retaliating with, “you haven’t hurt me yet.”

taako laughed aloud at that, a weak, self-deprecating sound. “mango,” he said, using that pet name that had brought magnus so much joy, “i have no self-control whatsoever. i don’t try to be an asshole, i just am. literally a week after we started dating i went to what was supposed to be a pottery class for friends and ended up making out with the guy in a storage closet. even you have to admit that’s bad.”

magnus stiffened. he knew taako was promiscuous, knew that he always had been, and accepted the flirting and the touches that he knew was going on whether or not he was there. he knew taako had been fucking the reaper, kravitz, before they had started dating. he would have even been ready for an open relationship if taako had just talked to him.

“you should have just told me and we could’ve worked it out,” magnus said, wondering where the lump in his throat was, where the tears were.

taako stared at him sadly. “we couldn’t have worked this out,” taako said. “you shouldn’t just be okay with that, that’s not okay! you need to not be okay with that. that’s an asshole move.”

magnus scrunched the fabric of his pants in his fists. “but i love you,” he choked. there it was.

taako laid a delicate hand on magnus’ larger one. “i know you do, and i love you too,” he said. “that’s why i need to do this. i don’t want to hurt you.”

too late.

magnus took a deep breath. he held taako’s hand in his. and he cried.

taako held magnus, cooing gently as the big man cried openly, face wrinkled and red, tears dripping down like heavy rain. he pulled him close, staring into magnus’ hazel eyes.

“i’m sorry, baby, but we just can’t do this. i can’t do this. i don’t want to hurt you… more than i already have.”

magnus didn’t respond, tears soaking into taako’s silk tunic.

“...if you decide you don’t want to talk to me anymore, i’m okay with that. i understand if you don’t want to have to deal with a shitty friend.”

this drew a laugh from magnus, who wiped away the tears on his face with one big hand. “what, and break up the tres horny boys? we can’t do that to ango,” he said, giving taako a shaky smile as more tears filled his eyes.

taako smiled in response, and as soft as it was, it was still forced. “i still love you, you know?” he said quietly, stroking magnus’ jaw and not meeting his eyes.

magnus rubbed his face into taako’s hand, feeling the soft scratching of the elf’s fingers in his sideburns. he half-nodded at taako’s response, but stopped, considering what he had been told. “is it…” he started, “is it worse to say that this would be easier if you told me hated me? or like, you wanted to leave and date kravitz instead, which i was actually expecting to happen?”

a surprised laugh burst from taako, who slapped a slim hand over his mouth. controlling himself, he said, “it’s a little worse?” and the tears came again. “hey, hey, bubale, don’t cry,” taako cooed, petting magnus’ sideburns. magnus continued crying. “mango, honey, i know this is how you deal with your emotions, but you’ve got to stop crying because if you keep crying then i’m going to cry and i can’t do that today,” he said, his voice audibly broken.

magnus pulled away from taako. “you know i won’t judge you if you cry, right?” he said, staring into the elf’s eyes as if it would get his point across better.

taako only shrugged, looking away. “yeah, i know, but i’d judge myself.”

magnus nodded and allowed himself to move closer to taako, curling himself into the elf’s side. the smell of garlic and some exotic spice that he could never name except as “the taako spice” comforted him, probably more than it should have, and he pressed his face into the softness of his cape.

before he could know what was happening, before he could think, taako had tilted his chin up and kissed him softly, not looking at him when he pulled away. magnus barely even let him pull away.

magnus kissed taako like it would be the last kiss he could ever have, the way that he wished he had kissed julia before departing for the craft fair. it was long, and slow, and desperate, magnus putting as much pressure into it as he could. he barely broke to catch his breath, and when he did, when taako forced him to lean back, he didn’t break eye contact and instead chose to breath taako’s air. they kissed for what felt like hours before taako truly pulled away.

“okay. okay, big guy, i gotta go,” he says, standing up. magnus heard him whisper “jesus” under his breath as he turns to leave.

magnus stood next to him, not looking at him. when taako tried to go, magnus stopped him with one burly arm in front of his chest. staring at the ground, magnus asked, “we’re okay, right?”

taako gave his signature tittering laugh. “of course, mango, just like always!”

magnus gave him one last kiss before he left.

 

ii.

they kissed again a week later. they were in pringle’s room, which still hadn’t been cleaned since their friend’s surprise arrest. there were twisting glass bottles lining the shelves, but they were all empty - the ones that had contained the signature weird mixtures had already been snatched up by various bureau members, tres horny boys included.

pringle’s room was an unofficial hangout spot for plenty of people, but it was just taako and magnus sitting together. taako was perched on pringle’s lab stool, reading through his fantasy twitter, while magnus stood above him, making comments.

taako had just sent off a fantasy tweet when magnus asked the question.

“can i kiss you?”

taako stopped scrolling and said nothing for a moment, simply staring at the communicator in his hand. magnus couldn’t really read the expression on his face, taako’s head bent.

“i meant - i just wanted to ask, because i do want to kiss you. it’s fine if you don’t want to, but i just - may i? kiss you, i mean?” magnus tried again, stumbling over his words in his nervousness. “i guess this wasn’t the best time to ask, but i just wanted to and couldn’t find a better time.”

taako set his communicator down gently on the table next to him and looked up at magnus, a soft smile on his face as he put his hands around magnus’ waist. “yes,” he said, blinking slowly, “you may.”

magnus couldn’t really contain his smile as he leaned down, and he didn’t really want to. it just felt good to have his lips on taako’s.

at first it was just a press of mouths, just a kiss, but then magnus deepened it. he pushed his tongue into taako’s mouth, taako giving way easily. arms slipped around his neck as magnus ran his palms over taako’s waist. taako leaned his head away, letting magnus kiss down his neck.

as magnus pressed another kiss to taako’s neck, barely scraping the skin with his teeth, he heard the elf chuckle. brow furrowing, he moved to nuzzle his jaw.

“what?” he mumbled into the skin. taako barely shook his head, still smiling. “what is it?” magnus asked, voice slipping into a betrayed whine.

“nothing, bubale, you’re just so gentle. it’s sweet,” taako answered, kissing magnus deeply. magnus tried to pull taako closer, be rougher. he was a ruff boi, wasn’t he? he could do rougher.

he tried again, kissing taako’s neck and taking the skin between his teeth. taako dragged a delicate hand down his chest, massaging the muscle that was hidden by a layer of fat that magnus could never bring himself to be completely comfortable with. taako reclaimed magnus’ mouth, mumbling “so gentle” beneath his breath before biting down on the skin of magnus’ neck, soft enough to keep from breaking skin but hard enough that there was a tingly pain.

oh, magnus thought, so that’s why people like that. he tried to bite at taako’s neck again, tried to suck at the skin and leave a mark, but he just felt ridiculous and unsexy.

taako certainly didn’t seem to mind when magnus moved back to his mouth, their tongues tangling. magnus’ nails were short and dull, but he still finger combed through taako’s hair, scratching his scalp. the elf arched against him, pushing his hand up his shirt and rubbing at magnus’ chest and belly.

confused by the reaction, magnus pulled away slightly. “have you never had someone do that to you before?” he asked sheepishly.

taako only grunted in response, which was no response at all, and kissed him again. magnus felt dizzy, his head spinning as he held taako in his arms, intoxicated by the taste and the feel of him. he grinned against taako, pressing his lips to the corners of his mouth. he was holding taako, kissing him. he couldn’t hold back the smile.

“what are you laughing at?” taako asked. magnus buried his face in the crook of taako’s neck, trying to will away the smile and gleeful shaking. he can’t tell him he’s just happy to be doing this, can he? can’t tell him he’s just happy he can kiss him, that’d be stupid and it would make it weird but taako still insisted him that he say what he’s laughing at, that “oh my god you dork only you would laugh at something during this, what is it?” he could make up some fake story, reference some inside joke, but that wouldn’t be true, now would it? he just shook his head instead.

“it’s nothing,” he lied, kissing taako again.

“hm, sure,” taako mumbled before accepting the kiss.

magnus nearly died when taako actually began to fondle him, the two grinding up against each other, magnus’ breathing growing heavier. it wasn’t anything intense, just rubbing through leather pants, but it was enough to fog the fighter’s mind until he couldn’t even worry about the unlocked door because taako was here and they were together.

until a voice came.

crackling over taako’s stone of farspeech, avi’s voice interrupted the relative quiet of the room. taako broke away from magnus, holding the fighter away from him as if avi would catch them otherwise.

“hey, taako, are you still doing that spellcasting class thing today? because i know a lot of people who are really interested in it, but you said it’d be soon…” avi said, sounding hopeful.

taako walked over to where the stone sat on pringle’s old nightstand and grabbed it, running a hand through his unruly hair in an attempt to bring some order to the obvious mess. “yeah, yeah, my dude, i’ll be right there, just give me a second. i gotta walk over there first,” he said into the stone, grabbing his bag off of the bed and striding to the door.

magnus was still too foggy to really mind.

taako stopped at the door and looked back at magnus, who was leaning against the lab table, a small foolish grin on his face as he rubbed at his sideburns. the elf sighed and said, “we need to talk,” almost too quiet to be heard.

magnus nodded, still smiling at taako as the elf left without another word.

 

iii.

everyone at the bureau loved a good wrestling match, and even though actual famous couldn’t come to the moonbase, wrestling had become the official sport of the bureau of balance. there was even an annual wrestling match for the bureau to enjoy, the biggest and buffest bureau members participating.

carey had accidentally hurt magnus during one of their training sessions and he wasn’t able to fight, but he could still attend. if he really wanted to.

“come on, man, it’s the annual wrestling match! you love this shit, don’t you? you gotta come,” taako said, elbowing magnus in the side as they walked through one of the bureau’s courtyards.

magnus shrugged. he hadn’t really tried to talk to taako about what was happening, and instead he’d forgotten that taako had ever said anything about it. and nothing had changed. he had still been trying to get taako alone, trying to be able to kiss him one more time. it was hard not to think about it. the only time they were able to be alone, magnus didn’t want to ask again and make it awkward. instead, taako had angled his head towards him before magnus left, and magnus leaned down to give taako a soft kiss that he wanted to drag out.

oh, he wanted.

“why wouldn’t you go?” taako asked, gesticulating as he walked, taking up as much space as he could. “it’s supposed be the bomb-dot-com.”

but he wasn’t supposed to want, now was he?

magnus shrugged in response. “i don’t know, i’m not really down for the whole ‘crowds of screaming people’ thing this weekend. i was thinking i could finish a project instead,” he said, trailing off.

“kravitz will be there!” taako said, trying to convince magnus.

the human fighter could feel his shoulders tighten. “you know you’re not really helping your case, right?” he said with a gruff voice. honestly, taako couldn’t be that stupid.

taako shrugged. “i know,” he sighed.