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Chapter Text

“Diana, admit that you never loved me!”

“Steve, of course I loved you. But I moved on, and so should you,” she retorts and kisses Superman.

Steve Trevor jumped up in the back seat of the jeep, his body drenched with sweat. Wonder Woman's icy words haunted his nightmares, and even the top agent for the DEO, the Department of Extranormal Operations of Director Amanda Waller, was shaken.

“What's wrong, boss?” Sameer asked, adjusting his fez and steering the armored DEO jeep through the treacherous roads in some forsaken South American jungle.

“N-nothing, I just dozed off,” Steve muttered, and hoped that Chief, Charlie and him wouldn't notice. Neither his Native American, his Scottish nor his Arab colleague said anything, but he still remained cramped up.

“Stay alert, guys, we are approaching the danger zone,” Charlie said, cocking his taser rifle, while Chief readied his electric net and mumbled: “Keep your eyes peeled, Cheetah can be anywhere.”

“She isn't 'Cheetah', she is our ex-DEO colleague Dr. Barbara Minerva. She became the high priestess of the man hating Urzkartaga cult, and attacks men from nearby villages. We must catch her alive, because if we kill her, the cult will simply find a new priestess.”

“I want to hear that bitch scream when I cut off her tail. I can't believe that dirty grave robber actually worked for us,” Charlie spat out. He wanted to take a swig of his Scotch, but Steve's glare discouraged him.

“Don't stoop to her level, DEO prisons are punishment enough,” Chief replied, and Charlie reluctantly nodded. Sameer grinned: “Maybe Wonder Woman catches her first?”

Chief and Charlie cringed at the mention of her name, and Steve snapped: “That's impossible, Sameer. Diana is not even on the same continent!”

“Probably,” the Arab retorted. Against his will, Steve produced his favorite picture. It was a Polaroid of Wonder Woman, his team and him after their famous No Man's Land mission. It was blurry and worn out, but he would carry it to his grave. Charlie muttered: “Darn, boss, still hanging on to that pic? She dumped you like a piece of shit, and let the entire world know.”

“Maybe Steve likes how young we look. Diana looks so innocent, and he is cleanly shaved,” Chief growled.

“More like, I didn't have enough to shave yet,” he muttered, stroking his full beard. Sameer smirked: “Boss, why are you carrying that pic? There are millions of better pictures of her on the Internet!”

“Yeah, but I took this one myself.”

His team remained silent, and Steve's mind flashed back to that fateful day, years ago. Set up by Brainiac, his Team VII fought her Justice League, pitting him against his own girlfriend. She overwhelmed and snared him, and he screamed at her: “Diana, admit that you never loved me!”

“Steve, of course I loved you. But I moved on, and so should you,” she retorts and kisses Superman.

She had not only beaten, but humiliated him. Even after these years, it hurt. Why did he still pine for her? Why did he torture himself? Why was he unable to move on?

Steve put away the Polaroid, took several deep breaths and forced himself to focus on the mission. They arrived at a clearing, and Sameer wiped sweat off his brow and whispered: “This is our extraction point, boss.”

“Okay, team, proceed with utmost caution, Dr. Minerva could be anywhere,” Steve muttered, and all four climbed out and readied their weapons. While Charlie and him sneaked ahead, Chief whispered: “What actually happened back then? I was not in the DEO yet, and I won't ask Steve.”

Sameer mumbled: “After Wonder Woman and us defeated Ares, that Batman guy recruited metahuman vigilantes like Superman, Flash, Green Lantern and her into his 'Justice League'. To counter these above-the-laws, Director Waller formed Team VII, led by Steve. The tension between both groups made Diana dump him for Superman. The real culprit was Brainiac, who set both groups up to kill each other. The two groups joined forces and defeated him, but poor Steve was odd man out. Guess who mocked him the most? Cheetah.”

“Once we catch that dirty traitor, I'll turn her ears into slippers,” Charlie spat out. Like his colleagues, he harbored an intense dislike for the DEO archaeologist-turned-supervillain. The four men moved through the jungle, ignoring poisonous plants, nasty creatures and the suffocating heat. Suddenly, they stumbled upon an unholy, sinisterly pulsating altar.

“What is that? It doesn't appear on our map,” Sameer croaked, and Chief muttered: “It oozes evil. I feel it.”

“I am not an archaeologist, but I bet my boots it has something to do with Urzkartaga,” Steve mumbled, avoiding direct eye contact. The altar pulsated in an evil glint, making him feel nauseous. Suddenly, Charlie put his hand on his shoulder and whispered: “Did you hear that?”

The four men took cover, readied their weapons and stared into the dark jungle. Nothing was out of the ordinary, but Steve's hair was standing on end. Everything inside him screamed that something was going to happen.

Out of nowhere, a yellow blur whizzed past him. It struck Chief square in the face, knocking the electric net out his hands, sucker punched Sameer, and was so fast that Charlie's shot wasn't even close. Two horribly strong paws grabbed Steve by the neck and dug its claws into his flesh.

“Ahh, the cuckold and his little friends!” Cheetah slavered. The werecat smashed him so violently against the next tree that he saw stars and lost his rifle. Steve thought: Darn, since when is she so strong?!

“Let him go, traitor!” Charlie screamed and fired at her, but she dodged the bullets with superhuman reflexes. She kicked him with such force that he flew across the entire clearing, and taunted: “Stay down, drunkard!”

Steve staggered up and got his first look at Cheetah. At first glance, she looked same as always, a female cat woman with spotted fur and razor sharp talons, but suddenly, he noticed an odd girdle around her hips. In the next moment, she was buried by an electric net, which tasered her with enough force to stun a whale.

“Give up, Dr. Minerva! We are your friends!” Chief uttered. His eyes widened in disbelief as she shredded the net like wet paper, kicked him with horrible force and grinned: “Nice try, redskin, that would have taken down Barbara Minerva. But you are fighting the Cheetah!”

This is not normal, her strength is almost Superman level! Steve feared. She dodged another volley of well aimed taser bullets, jumped Sameer, sliced his rifle into two with her claws and taunted: “Ah, the lying actor!”

Cheetah punched his head, smacking the fez off his skull, and threw him so violently into Steve that it knocked him over like a bowling pin. Ignoring Sameer's limp body, she slavered at Steve: “So we meet again, you cuckold! Tell me, how bad is the burn when you see Wonder Woman with her Boyfriend of Steel?”

“Shut up, Barbara!” he swore, and fired a volley of taser bullets. They missed by a wide margin, and she taunted: “Your aim is as pathetic as your manhood!”

“Maybe, but I wasn't aiming at you,” he retorted. Before Cheetah could react, she was struck by a giant branch which Steve had expertly perforated. She violently swore, dodging the electric net he threw at her, and stared at him.

“Fight it, Barbara. You weren't always a feral beast,” Steve implored, but she screamed: “Barbara Minerva is dead, there is only Cheetah!”

She jumped several stories high, and when Steve tried to track her, he stared directly into the sun and was blinded. He averted his gaze and chewed himself out: “Darn, Trevor, she used the oldest trick in the book!”

Blinded, he didn't notice that Cheetah darted down and smacked him from behind. With terrible strength, she grabbed Steve by the collar and slavered: “Nice try, cuckold, but nice guys always finish last. I spent years laughing at you, the poor little lapdog pining for a goddess who will never see you as an equal, let alone allow you all the way in.”

“Shut up, Barbara!”

When he uttered this name, Cheetah punched him and kicked him in the skull, grabbed him by the throat and placed him on the evil altar. On cue, unholy tendrils grew out of the black stone and wrapped themselves around Steve's body. Suddenly, a picture fell out of his chest pocket. Cheetah picked it up and cackled: “You carry a Wonder Woman picture around with you?”

“I am surely not the only person with her picture!”

“But only you carry the original No Man's Land picture, with you drooling all over Wonder Woman's cleavage!”

“Scanning other people's luggage is still your strong point, isn't it? Yes, I still love Wonder Woman, and why do people like you reduce me to my relationship with her?”

“Because it's so utterly pathetic that a cuckold like you roots for his ex, way after she found a better man. But you needn't stay her lapdog. If we join forces and defeat her, I will give her to you as your slave.”

“Barbara, you have some sick ideas about love,” he spat out. Cheetah clawed off his coat, licking his blood of her talons, but had surprising difficulty with his undershirt.

“DEO Teflon underwear, repels flies, bugs, and maybe even bullets. I hope you break your hand,” he snapped. She ignored him, drooled at his bulging chest muscles and his chiseled six pack, and slavered: “I got a wonderful idea, cuckold. Instead of sacrificing you and your men on Urzkartaga's altar immediately, let's fulfill our primal needs first. Trust me, at first, you will struggle, and then, you will enjoy it!”

“Barbara, you make me puke. I never liked you, even when you were just a lowly DEO hangaround. You smell like dead rats, and I really don't like hirsute women.”

“Then I will take you against your will,” she hissed and mounted him. Steve struggled in his shackles, but it was no use. He clenched his jaw, closed his eyes and prayed to somehow survive this horrifying ordeal.

“STAY AWAY FROM HIM!!” a booming voice screamed.

Out of nowhere, a red blur charged towards Cheetah, punched her with the force of a sledgehammer and sent her flying across the clearing. Blinded by the sudden daylight, Steve numbly stared at this guardian angel. It landed next to him, ripped off his shackles, yanked him off the altar, pressed a taser rifle into his hands and uttered: “It seems that I arrived just in time, Steve!”

Steve nearly fainted. He KNEW this voice, and it he would walk barefoot through hell to hear it. Steve squinted, and saw an black haired angel with steel blue eyes, wearing a star tiara, crimson body armor, a blue skirt, a golden belt, red combat boots and a magic lasso. Her stern expression, her powerful body, her jet black hair, steel blue eyes and fiery lips exuded the presence of something more than mortal, and Steve was a single goose bump.

“D-DIANA?!” he blurted out in disbelief.

“Take cover, Steve!” Wonder Woman screamed. A moment later, she was jumped by Cheetah. She kicked her sides and slavered: “Oh, how touching! The two timing slut wants to save her spineless cuckold!”

“Shut up, Barbara,” Wonder Woman retorted, clenched her jaw and threw her lasso. Cheetah dodged the snare, went into counter attack and slashed her sides open with a terrible claw swipe. Wonder Woman's blood spilled on the earth, and she spat out: “Nice hit, Barbara, enjoy it while it lasts!”

Wonder Woman flung herself at Cheetah, blocked her blow and decked her with a powerful punch. The werecat cried out, but recovered in midair, swung around on a branch and hurled herself at her nemesis.

“Die, bitch!” Cheetah swore and tried to chomp Diana's head off. She deflected her bite with her bracelets, and bloody teeth rained on Steve.

“Not today, and definitely not by you!” Wonder Woman retorted. She grabbed her nemesis by the throat and slammed her to the ground. Steve had never seen her so angry. But Cheetah ripped her lasso from her belt, snared her with superhuman speed and kicked her skull. Wonder Woman spat out blood, and the werecat slavered: “I should sacrifice you to Urzkartaga first, slut! But tell me, who is better in bed, Steve Trevor or Superman?”

Bound by her lasso, Diana blurted out: “'Superman!'”

But just as Steve cringed, she snapped: “'Steve hogs all the blankets. Superman is always warm!'”

With a warrior scream, she tried to break free, but her rope was unbreakable. Resisting the urge to run away, Steve sneaked up and grabbed the other end of the rope. The magic lasso began to glow, and Steve hissed at Cheetah: “I know this rope pretty well, Barbara! When two enemies fight over it, it will obey the person with the purer heart.”

“It will obey the person with the stronger will, and I will crush you like a bug!” she retorted. There was a big flash of light, consuming both Cheetah and Steve, and he cried out in horror. His soul was engulfed by the horrible truth of Cheetah's vile, twisted mind. It was like drinking poison, and when he was sure he couldn't take it anymore, he heard Diana shout: “Steve, you can do it! I believe in you!”

Instead of lying down and die, his mind stood up to Cheetah's bullying, and he screamed: “I may be a cuckold, but I am not a cowardly killer like you, Barbara!”

“My name is not Barbara! My name is Chee--”

She could not finish the sentence, as the lasso burnt through her lies. Cheetah screamed as if her immortal soul was torn out of her, as the lasso obeyed Steve. Wonder Woman freed herself, grabbed her throat and used Cheetah's head as a punchingball.

“This is what you get for hurting my friend!” she screamed, pummeling the living shit out of the werecat. Steve had never seen her so angry.

“Stop, Diana, you are killing her!” he cried out, and when she didn't listen, he grabbed her arm and pleaded: “Diana, I am fine. Please don't stoop to her level!”

Steve knew that the next blow would be deadly. Wonder Woman's fist hung in the air, but to his endless relief, she lowered it, spat out blood and muttered: “Very well, Steve. Barbara, thank your lucky stars that you survived today!”

She safely bound the unconscious Cheetah with her lasso, and Steve asked: “What brings you here, Diana? You don't visit South American jungles for fun.”

“I tracked down Cheetah, because she stole something,” she explained, and angrily ripped off the werecat's girdle. “This is an ancient Amazon artifact, which triples one's strength. I had to take it back.”

“That explains a lot,” Steve muttered, recalling Cheetah's inhuman power. He looked at Wonder Woman, and his chest pounded as he recalled that fateful scene.

“Diana, admit that you never loved me!”

“Steve, of course I loved you. But I moved on, and so should you,” she retorts and kisses Superman.

Steve folded his arms, stiffened up and uttered with a forced smile: “Thanks for saving my life, Diana, and it's nice to see you. It has been quite a while.”

“Indeed, Steve,” Wonder Woman replied. Her smile was warm, but also hesitant. She looked at his ripped clothes and grinned: “Funky underwear, Steve!”

“DEO special undies, Diana, extra strong edition.”

“Whatever,” she retorted and greeted his team: “Hello, you three, I also missed you.”

“Hello, Diana,” Sameer mumbled.

“Greetings, princess,” Chief whispered.

Charlie hardly managed a nod.

Years ago, seeing Diana would have made Charlie jolly, Sameer lovable and Chief friendly, but after the nasty breakup, they kept their distance and stood behind their leader. There was an awkward silence, and finally, Steve continued: “Diana, we'll take it from here. We have a DEO stasis tank to bring Dr. Minerva into a nice prison cell, where she will stand on trail.”

Diana remained silent. She floated in the air like a celestial being, but looked as if she was waiting for something. When it didn't come, the edges of her mouth twitched, and finally, she muttered: “Very well, I know that I can count on you.”

“Likewise… I hope,” Sameer whispered, and Charle muttered: “That's a quality we value in everybody.”

“Quiet, you two,” Steve interrupted them, and concluded: “Thanks for your trust, Diana. Send the Justice League my regards, especially your boyfriend Superman.”

Steve's voice was totally devoid of malice, but so polite that it made Sameer, Charlie and Captain cringe. Suddenly, she uttered: “Superman and me are no longer a couple. Please respect that I won't go into details.”

Steve's jaw dropped to the floor. There was a very awkward silence, and finally, she rose into the air and muttered: “Goodbye, Steve, and your beard looks utterly horrible!”

“Witch,” Steve retorted, defiantly stroking it when Wonder Woman flew away. When she was out of sight, all men took a deep sigh of relief. Sameer muttered: “Boss, I know she stabbed us in the heart and twisted the knife. But when she talked to us, I was this close to kneeing at her feet and begging her for forgiveness.”

“Me, too. She's Wonder Woman, that's what she does,” Charlie mumbled, and Chief added: “This is the chance to patch things up, boss. Maybe you should talk it out with her, get it out of your system, and move on.”

“I don't think that I should talk to her. She just ended a long relationship.”

“Come on, Steve, you have been carrying that stupid picture for years,” Charlie snapped, and Sameer exclaimed: “You two are way closer than anyone of us. She beat Cheetah to pulp when she attacked you, and in return, you did a superb Diana lasso impression!”

“I know that darn thing pretty well,” Steve smiled grimly. Charlie uttered: “Boss, I'm calling it. If you don't make your move now, I'll preemptively drink myself silly. Don't make me, I am dying to ditch that darn bottle.”

“That's blackmail!”

“That's a helping hand,” Chief retorted, and Sameer concluded: “Boss, we will never understand why you want her so much, but we will support you. You are the only guy who can patch everything up.”

Steve groaned, but not entirely in pain. He stroked his beard, and a faint smile appeared on his lips.

“I'll see what I can do,” he finally whispered.

When Colonel Steve Trevor returned to his office at DEO headquarters in Boston, he was greeted by his trusty secretary, Corporal Etta Candy. The stout, motherly redhead smiled: “Welcome back, Steve, I heard that your jungle fisticuffs paid off.”

“Dr. Minerva was a tough cookie, but we managed to overwhelm her. Apart from a few bruises, Sameer, Chief, Charlie and me are okay.”

“Starting with Director Waller, there are several people dying to get their hands on our dear ex colleague. I hope her treason was worth it, because it will be a long time until she sees daylight again.”

“Or gets an explosive chip in her brain and can make amends as a member of Task Force X.”

“The 'Suicide Squad'? You think they would take her?”

“Etta, they took in raging psychos like Killer Croc, Cheetah almost seems normal,” he sighed. Etta shrugged and continued: “Anyway, Director Waller wants to know more about her client. Dr. Minerva seems to have acted according to higher orders, but she has stayed put. Does the name 'Bospho Mosdei' ring a bell with you?”

“No.”

“Neither with anyone else. He seems some kind of African shaman, and his names always pops up. Now, let's go to the more interesting news! I heard that you got a hand from a certain lasso wielding Amazon princess.”

“I thought mission details were top secret, but I guess that nothing beats the office grapevine. Yes, Etta, Wonder Woman helped us,” he sighed. Etta remained silent, knowing how touchy that subject was. Finally, she mustered the spunk to utter: “For your information, thanks to Cat Grant, Diana's private life is all over the news.”

She pointed to the muted TV screen, and in huge capital letters, Steve read: “SUPERWONDY NO MORE – WONDER WOMAN AND SUPERMAN BREAK UP – JUSTICE LEAGUE SPOKESMAN BRUCE WAYNE: 'PLEASE RESPECT THEIR PRIVACY'.”

“I already heard of it. That's too bad, but I guess it happens to the best of them,” Steve replied. When he felt Etta's gaze on him, he snapped: “What?”

“Steve, you have been carrying Wonder Woman's No Man's Land picture for the last couple of years. I can't imagine that this news doesn't move you.”

“Etta, I just saw Diana in person, and she was so mercilessly friendly, as if our break up never happened. But it festers inside me. Call me weak, but I cannot move on until we actually talk it over.”

“Steve, you aren't weak. You are very strong for admitting that! Just call her and ask if she wants to meet you for a cup of coffee.”

“Etta, that's ridiculous! She is the most powerful superheroine of the world, fights supervillains, gives speeches in front of the United Nations and appears in a million charities. If I ask her for a sip of coffee, she'll laugh me off the phone!”

Etta gazed at the TV screen and replied: “Trust me, I think she would be very happy to talk to you.”

“This is not going to happen! I will not make myself a fool, not today, not tomorrow, not in this century!”

When he hit the table, the old, battered No Man's Land picture fell out of his chest pocket, with Steve beaming at Diana. With Herculean effort, Etta kept a straight face, and he muttered: “Okay, you win. I'll do it!”

Etta hugged him and whispered: “That's better, Steve. Do you want to me to provide moral support?”

“No, thanks, there are some things one must do alone.”

“I'm crossing all my fingers and toes, Steve!”

Chapter Text

Steve needed an entire week to muster the courage. He had stared Cheetah, Brainiac and Ares in the eye, and didn't quiver as much as when he dialed Diana's phone number. His heart hammered when the telephone rang, and he was about to hang up, when the line finally cracked. A well known female voice asked: “Hello? Who's there?”

Steve cleared his throat, forced himself to ignore his pounding chest and whispered: “Hi, Diana, it's me, Steve!”

There was a long silence, and he feared she would hang up on him. But finally, she replied: “Hey, Steve, nice to hear from you! What's up?”

“Do want to drink a cup of coffee with me after work?”

“Is it a DEO or Justice League issue? Is there a supervillain you want to catch?”

“No, Diana, it's not like that. No DEO, no Justice League, no supervillains, just… you and me.”

“Just you and me?”

“Just you and me, Diana.”

Again, silence, and Steve's heart was hammering.

“Sure, I'd love to! Where and when do you want me to meet? Does tomorrow at 7 PM work for you?”

“Sounds great, and as long it's in Boston or vicinity, it's okay. You can also pick me up, and fly me places.”

“I think I prefer the latter, Steve. My private life has been… under scrutiny lately,” she whispered, and he suddenly felt sorry for her.

“Let's meet at the back entrance of the Greco-Roman museum, your favorite place in Beantown. I'll be happy with any place you suggest.”

“Sounds great, Steve. Sorry, I have to go now.”

There were battle sounds in the background, and the second before she hung up, he heard bullets smashing against her bracelets. Sometimes, phoning a superheroine was insane.

The next evening, Steve already arrived on spot at 6:30 PM, not daring to miss this date. After choosing and discarding a million wardrobes, he decided on a plain, elegant coat with jeans and sneakers, and waxed his beard. People came and went, but no Diana. At 7 PM sharp, a tall brunette in sunglasses, headscarf and trenchcoat appeared out of nowhere. Diana whispered: “Hi, Steve!”

As if the years of silence never existed, they hugged each other, and he smiled: “Hello, Diana, so glad you made it. Where are we going?”

“Way up, Steve, I hope you aren't afraid of heights.”

“I'm a pilot, I am used to that!”

Ten minutes later, Steve was happy to have kept his dinner inside. Diana had flown him on the roof of the Boston Kord Tower, located on the 100^th floor. Both sat on the railing, feet dangling half a mile over the ground, gorging on bagels and coffee. As a pilot, Steve loved open air, and in case he slipped, Diana would catch him.

“This feels almost like old times. Us meeting at impossible places to preserve your secret identity,” he grinned, biting into his bagel.

“We were so young, times were simpler back then. Now I am co-leader of the Justice League, and my private life is world news,” she muttered, sipping her coffee.

“I am sorry for you, it must be hard,” Steve whispered, and she was touched how sincere he was. He muttered: “It sounds awkward, but do you want to talk about it? If yes, my ears are open, if not, it's okay, too.”

“That's nice of you, Steve. To make a long story short, Superman and I didn't have any chemistry. He is a sweet, dear friend, but you cannot be together if conversation dries up after two minutes.”

“It happens to the best of us, even to those who can fly,” Steve replied matter-of-factly. A forced smile appeared on Diana's face, and she continued: “The media circus is bad, but I'm used to it. My cleavage, my thighs or my bottom are constantly debated, it will be almost refreshing to focus on something else. Why is the world of man so obsessed by me? I will never understand.”

Steve remained silent, this topic cutting awful close to home. With a sigh, Diana carried on: “Superman and I avoid each other, but we still fight together in the Justice League. Also, B--ruce Wayne is a good mediator. He is a billionaire playboy, but he is there when you need him.”

“Better than that grumpy curmudgeon Batman,” Steve muttered, missed that Diana bit her tongue, and asked: “What actually happened when I phoned you? I heard some odd battle sounds when you hung up.”

“The Justice League was fighting Ra's and Talia al Ghul. They wanted to poison the entire West Coast with some death toxin, but luckily we defeated them.”

Steve just stared at her, and she grinned: “All in a day's work, that's what the Justice League does.”

“T-Thank you,” he stupidly replied, bit into his bagel and continued: “First of all, thanks for agreeing to meet me, our Cheetah fight really touched me. I wish our reunion had gone less awkwardly. You save our lives, and we basically just blow you off.”

“Me, too. You saved my life, too, and I also just left. We share too much history to deserve this.”

Diana and Steve awkwardly smiled at each other. She took a sip of her coffee and asked: “So, how do you do, Steve? It has been way too long.”

“Trying to save the world, one mission at a time. Hunting villains for Director Waller. Chilling out with Sameer, Charlie and Chief. Poking Etta to raise my travel allowance. Playing video games. Rinse and repeat.”

“Don't sell yourself short, Steve. Fighting aliens with the Justice League is more spectacular than arresting a terrorist, but we only win wars, you win peace.”

“Thanks, but I cannot even imagine to fight a villain like Doomsday, like the Justice League did last year.”

“Steve, be happy. When we faced him, I was quaking in my boots. I think I only charged to hide how afraid I was.”

“You were afraid?!”

“Steve, a warrior who isn't afraid is a liar.”

“True. Etta always asks how I just beat the snot out of terrorists. I think because I am too afraid not to.”

“Sounds like me, Steve. It doesn't matter if it is Doomsday, Ares, Cheetah, Silver Swan or Cheshire, in the end, every fight could be your last.”

“Yeah,” he sighed, and their gazes were brimming with mutual understanding. They exchanged warm, awkward smiles, and finally, Diana whispered: “Steve, I'll start. I am very sad how we broke up.”

For several years, Steve had envisioned this moment. He was sure to become a raging volcano, screaming at Diana how badly he mistreated him. But he only replied: “Me, too.”

Both exchanged sad, rueful glances, and didn't dare to break the silence. Finally, he muttered: “It just didn't work, Diana, we were always fighting.”

“Yes, and you know what was so bad? The fights weren't between Diana and Steve, but between Wonder Woman, leader of the Justice League, and Colonel Trevor, leader of Team VII.”

“That's true. We simply didn't exist as Diana and Steve anymore, we totally got consumed by our duty. I cannot remember if we went on a normal date anymore.”

“We didn't, Steve. When I came home from Wonder Woman duty, I just wanted to cuddle and spoil you, and instead, you fight me worse than any supervillain!”

“That's funny, I recall the same. When I came home from Team VII obligations, I just wanted to hug you, too, but instead, you blew me off.”

“Speak for yourself, Steve! I left Themyscira after sacrificing everything. I was an outcast, a stranger in a strange land, a fish out of the water. You were the only person I knew, and instead of being grateful, you just exploited me! Every time I visited the Justice League, you practically interrogated me. They are my friends, Steve, why cannot you trust me?”

“Because the Justice League, a team of metahuman vigilante WMDs, cannot be trusted.”

“Funny, we said the same about Team VII, black ops who represent the dark parts of the government.”

Steve prepared an angry reply, but then, broke off and muttered guiltily: “That's was our main issue, wasn't it? We ceased being Diana and Steve, we were only Wonder Woman and Colonel Trevor.”

Diana's rage evaporated, and she remained silent. Both avoided each other's gazes, and finally, she muttered: “Do you remember our last big fight before we split? I screamed that I hated you, should have never rescued you from that plane crash on Themyscira, and stormed out.”

Steve nodded with his jaws clenched, and she continued: “I flew to the Justice League Watchtower and had a long cry. Superman consoled me, and the rest… just happened.”

Diana had blurted out the last words, as if she had to get it out of her system. Steve remained silent, and she muttered: “I wanted to break up with you in person, but our teams fought before I had the chance.”

Steve's mind flashed back to that fateful day. Set up by Brainiac, his Team VII battled her Justice League, pitting Arrow, Catwoman, Huntress, Katana, Canary, Sameer, Charlie and him against Superman, Batman, Green Lantern, Flash and her. Steve didn't know what was worse, getting pummeled by metahumans far beyond his power, or witnessing his girlfriend turn on him.

“ Diana, admit that you never loved me!”

“Steve, of course I loved you. But I moved on, and so should you,” she retorts and kisses Superman.

“I'll be honest, Diana, seeing you dump me for Superman is the worst blow I encountered in my life.”

“Say it, Steve, it was a low blow. I was consumed with the wrath of a scorned woman, but it still was unfair. If you hate me, I probably deserve it.”

Steve said nothing, and Diana didn't dare to break the silence. Finally, he whispered: “I don't think I hate you, Diana, but I really hate what you did that day. Also, Sameer and Charlie got it worse than me.”

“What?”

“Sameer got his elbow broken by Batman, and Charlie got such PTSD fighting you that he became an alcoholic again. He only recently became dry, and hates your guts for it.”

Diana froze, and with a brittle voice, she stammered: “I d-didn't know t-that.”

“When elephants stomp, the mice get squashed. Charlie learned a grim lesson who he could trust, and who not.”

“If that is the case, I am very, very sorry. I should personally apologize, even after so long.”

“I am sure he would appreciate that. We will always have No Man's Land.”

“Yes, we will,” Diana laughed guiltily. Even in sunglasses, headscarf and trenchcoat, Steve could still see the superheroine who carved up an entire army. Suddenly, she whispered: “Is it true that you always carry our No Man's Land group picture with you?”

Steve nodded and gave her the old, battered photo. Her eyes grew wide, and she muttered: “Great Hera, we look so young! I look like a teenager, and your chin is shaved.”

“Don't stare at me like that, I like my beard,” Steve grinned, stroking his facial hair, and she retorted: “I grew up on an island full of women, we don't like beards.”

Both laughed, and the tension evaporated. Suddenly, Diana froze, and whispered: “Did you hear that?”

Steve listened, but heard nothing. She tapped him on the shoulder, pointed down and hissed: “Down there! Someone is robbing that 24h store!”

Steve saw nothing, but Diana jumped up, spread her arms and spun around. His heart ached when he saw the pirouette which he knew so well, followed by the bright starburst. When he was able to open his eyes again, Diana had transformed into the strong, powerful Wonder Woman.

“So, I guess this concludes our meeting. Thank you, Diana, and deck those thugs for me,” Steve grinned. But instead of flying away, she put her hands on her hips and smiled: “For old times sake, do you want to come with me?”

“I would love to!” he exclaimed, climbed on her back, and she jumped down. Like an eagle striking its prey, she soared 100 stories deep. Being so close to Wonder Woman was intoxicating, and the fragrance of her lovely tresses almost too much to bear. Finally, she landed in front of the 24h store, and saw a frightened shopkeeper who was getting held up by five masked hoodlums.

“Give me all your money!” they screamed, waving their guns, and the poor man fearfully emptied his register. Steve proposed: “Okay, Diana, I'll storm in, and you pick them off from their blind side.”

“No, Steve, it's too dangerous. I'll take the main entrance, and you sneak up from their flank.”

“Hey! I am a top DEO agent. I could take these losers with my eyes closed!”

Wonder Woman glared so angrily at him that he averted his gaze, and sighed: “Okay, you win! You take the front!”

“Thank you,” she retorted and cracked her knuckles. Steve drew his pistol, and like so many times before, Diana did the first step. She kicked in the door, drew her lasso and shouted: “What is going on here?”

“THE WONDER BITCH!!” they screamed and opened fire. She parried their bullets with effortless ease, threw her lasso with one hand and the tiara with the other. It knocked out the first, and the rope snared the second, and she smacked him into the wall.

“Just come at me, slut! My big gun will show you what even Superman cannot deliver!” the third thug slavered. Wonder Woman charged at him with full speed, deflected his shots in mid air, punched him through a magazine stand and taunted: “Men and their empty promises.”

She snared the fourth, crushing his pistol with her bare hands, but the fifth put his gun to the temple of the shopkeeper and threatened: “Hands up, Wonder Bitch, or this man dies!”

Diana froze, and uttered: “Keep cool! Don't shoot!”

Out of the corner of her eyes, she saw that Steve raised his gun. She batted her eyelid, and on queue, he fired straight at her, allowing her to deflect the bullet into the thug's gun, blowing it out of his hand.

“Darn you, slut!” he swore, dragging the frightened shopkeeper with him. But after two steps, Steve stepped behind him and grinned: “Where are you going, loser?”

He decked the thug with a haymaker, and Wonder Woman chuckled: “Your form stinks, but your delivery is perfect!”

“Thanks, Diana,” Steve beamed. The shopkeeper let out a big sigh of relief and exclaimed: “That was fantastic, Wonder Woman! Is that really you, Colonel Trevor? Are you two together again?”

Diana and Steve exchanged awkward glances, and he finally muttered: “It's complicated.”

After calling the police, they quickly went away, and Diana whispered: “It's getting late, Steve, I have to go now. I'm very happy to have met you again.”

“Likewise, Diana. Next week, same date?”

“Sounds good!” Wonder Woman beamed. She whirled her magic lasso, turned back into Diana Prince, gave him a warm hug, and disappeared in a dark alley. Steve stared long after she left, and finally smiled: “Wow.”

The next day in office, Etta was bursting with anticipation. As soon as he sat down, she blurted out: “So, Steve, how did it go?”

“Good, I guess. Diana and I were happy to see each other, debated some touchy stuff, and even decked some unfortunate robbers.”

“I saw it in the breaking news, Steve, and I feel glad for you two,” Etta smiled. Steve sighed, sat down and began filing DEO reports. As usual, he quickly immersed himself in his paperwork, but he couldn't take his mind off last night. It had been so bittersweet, and he wasn't sure if they had been staring at cold ashes, or were rekindling a flame.

“ Diana, admit that you never loved me!”

“Steve, of course I loved you. But I moved on, and so should you,” she retorts and--

Suddenly, the mental image changed. Instead of kissing the Man of Steel, they exchanged awkward glances, gave each other a hug and went away in opposite directions. Steve sighed from the bottom of his heart, stared at his old, battered No Man's Land photo and imagined it carried Diana's fragrance. Etta watched him full of sympathy and whispered: “You're still in love with her, aren't you?”

“I don't deserve her, Etta. I am just a man, she is a goddess, and she could have any guy she wants. Why am I still pining for her? Sometimes, I think I am mentally ill.”

“Perhaps you are just made for each other, Steve. Do you know that Alex Danvers girl from Department III?”

“Yeah, I know her, but not very well.”

“She looked so miserable until she made her move and began dating that Renee Montoya hottie. She is positively beaming right now. A wise person once said, it's not about what you deserve. It's about what you believe, and you believe in loving Diana.”

“Stop stealing my words,” Steve retorted, but kissed Etta on the cheek and smiled: “You are the best.”

“You know what's better than hugging a picture of Diana? Hugging Diana herself, and I am rooting for you.”

“We have a date next week. I'll keep you informed.”

Etta beamed and crossed her fingers.

Chapter Text

The next date took place in Flynn's Bar, a cozy pub Steve liked to hang out. He deliberately avoided a restaurant, knowing what torture a bad dinner without escape possibilities was. He was treating himself to a stout beer, until a tall brunette in tank top, jeans and sneakers appeared and grinned: “Hi, scruffy!”

“Hello, Diana! Nice to meet you,” he smiled, defiantly stroked his beard, and gave her a warm hug.

“I hope I made it in time, I had to fight Dr. Psycho. He mind controlled his parole judge and wanted to escape, but luckily, Manhunter and me beat the snot out of him.”

“Manhunter? The green Martian guy?”

“No, the female vigilante in red. We have a nice working relationship,” Diana replied, and Steve smiled knowingly: “I'll back off, Diana. My job involves respecting people with secret identities.”

“Thank you,” she grinned ruefully. Tall, attractive Diana caught the eye of several onlookers, but nobody was aware that Wonder Woman was sitting there. She ordered a beer, clinked glasses and asked: “So, how was your week?”

“Nothing out of the ordinary, I guess. Etta and me filed a lot of paperwork, it was quiet for a change.”

“Oh, Etta, I miss her so much.”

“She misses you, too, Diana. If it's okay with you, I can also bring our favorite secretary along.”

“I would love to!” she exclaimed and confessed ruefully: “Steve, when I came here, I thought secretaries were slaves. I am still not comfortable about the gender gap, but I learned how respected and useful they are.”

“Yeah, but you got a point. There is like one male secretary in the entire DEO, all the others are female. That being said, Etta is awesome regardless of gender!”

“I fully concur,” Diana grinned, raised her glass and toasted: “To Etta!”

“To Etta,” Steve beamed, clinked his pitcher, lustily emptied it and got a new one. Suddenly, he frowned, and Diana whispered: “What's up?”

“There is this guy in the background drooling at your cleavage. I should come over and deck him.”

“Deck yourself first then.”

Steve felt like an 18 wheeler who got 18 flat tires at the same time. He cringed at this blow, but then, he noticed she didn't seem offended. Diana chuckled: “Admit it, you think I am hot, and that's fine.”

“It's impossible not to find you hot,” he confessed, and she replied: “Thank you, and you are honest about it. Since I became 'Wonder Woman', people have been debating about every part of my body.”

“Indeed,” he muttered, and suddenly, she drew close to him and confessed: “Steve, our last talk really touched me. I was very moved, and I don't mean the adrenaline we used to clobber those thugs.”

“Me, too, Diana. I was sweating bullets, but in the end, I was very happy to have done it.”

“You know what? I was so close to blowing off our talk, because… I was afraid.”

“You? Afraid?”

“Yes, I was afraid, Steve. I was scared that you would bury me under a barrage of holy rage. I was horrible.”

“Yeah, but I made you horrible. You don't dump me if I don't give you 1000 reasons to do it first.”

“It doesn't justify dumping you in front of a billion TV watchers and pouring my tongue down Superman's throat.”

“I don't blame you for leaving. I was so up in my own DEO ass that I forgot you were my girlfriend.”

“Maybe, but I screamed that saving you after that plane crash was the biggest mistake of my life. I am so sorry.”

“Diana, you were screaming at a man who forced you to choose between your friends and your lover.”

“Stop one-upping me. I want to flagellate myself.”

“No, I am a selfish bastard and want to do it first.”

They glared at each other, then the tension dissolved in a huge gust of laughter. Diana chuckled ruefully: “Steve, I don't know if I want to strangle or hug you.”

“It's the same for about 90% of the process. You can start, and do a last second adjustment.”

“You're silly and wise at the same time. Come here,” she purred and gave him a warm hug. Every fiber in his body was electrified by her presence, but he didn't dare to fully respond. Diana didn't seem to mind, took another sip and whispered: “Steve, I don't have the right to press on, and if you don't want to answer, it's fine. After we teamed up and defeated Brainiac by the skin of our teeth, you were wounded. I visited you in hospital, and I was very sad that you blew me off.”

“I had a broken femur, several cracked ribs and a severe concussion. I wasn't in the mood for small talk, let alone with you.”

“If you couldn't stand seeing me, it's fine. I wanted to say how sorry I was, and offer you my help, but I guess that was just more insult to injury.”

Steve remained silent, and she avoided his gaze. Finally, he muttered: “You know what the worst thing was? The media circus afterwards. The Justice League was hailed as saviors of the world, and finally, the wonderful Amazon princess had found her true love, the Man of Steel.”

Diana cringed, and he continued: “When you confirmed your romance to the world, I became a laughingstock. I was no longer Colonel Steve Trevor, but the idiot Wonder Woman dumped for Superman. I became a joke, a running gag, a meme to be mocked and spat at.”

“It was cruel, Steve. You were punished for something I committed. It is the one time I regret telling the truth.”

“Diana, nobody committed anything. We both did what we thought was right, and had to deal with the consequences. You know what is funny about being down and out? You discover who you can trust, and who your real friends are. Without Etta, Sameer, Charlie and Chief, maybe I would be still in a… cold, dark place.”

Diana slid so low on her chair she almost disappeared. Steve continued: “I wanted to vanish from the world and do what I do best, namely help people in need. That's why I joined the U.N. peacekeeping mission in Qurac, to protect a country ravaged by a senseless civil war. I gave up fighting supervillains, and defended villages, built irrigation and opened schools. Of course, it pales when Wonder Woman busts terrorists, smashes costumed baddies and saves the world.”

“Steve, I always admired your work in Qurac. Fighting supervillains wins wars, but people like you win peace.”

“I hate to admit it… but superheroes like you inspire me, Diana. Every time I cowered in the trenches, engulfed in mortar fire with bullets whistling past my head, I pulled out this picture.”

He produced his old, battered No Man's Land picture and continued: “Every time I feared for my life, I thought how fearlessly you stormed out and sliced up an entire army. In my darkest hours, you gave the strength to carry on.”

Diana just stared at him. Tears welled in her eyes, and she grabbed his hands and choked: “If that is true, Steve, then it is the most beautiful compliment I ever got!”

“You earned it.”

“T-thank you,” she stammered, deeply moved. He carried on: “When I came back from my Qurac mission, I found out that I had let go of you. I only wanted you to be happy, and I was content you seemed happy with Superman.”

The sincerity in his voice touched Diana. She bit her lip and confessed: “We really wanted it to work, but we had no chemistry. He was the only man to meet me at eye level, but we had too little common ground. After a while, every conversation dried up. Whereas we fought too loudly, Steve, Superman and I just remained too silent.”

“ Diana, admit that you never loved me!”

“Steve, of course I loved you. But I moved on, and so should you,” she retorts and--

Instead of seeing the kiss that tortured him for so long, both exchanged guilty stares full of regret.

“It happens,” he sighed matter-of-factly, with less gloating than he expected.

“It does, but it's still horrible. I hate it that each of my breakups is accompanied by a media circus.”

“I concur. Have you seen the zillion 'hot takes' on the 'Superwondy' breakup? That extra TV revenue rivals the GDP of a small country. It's silly and painful, but that's the world of man, I guess.”

“I fear that you are right, Steve.”

Diana's lips twitched, and finally formed a weak smile. The confessions pained her, but she seemed happy to have gotten it out of her system. Steve glanced over her shoulder and muttered: “That creep who was drooling at you has finally left. Good for him, he was pissing me off.”

“Steve, I punched Doomsday into the stratosphere. Don't you think I can defend myself?”

“It's a matter of principle. If a creep gives a girl leery looks, it's male duty to--”

He realized with whom he was talking and stammered: “I mean, you are strong and independent and powerful, I just wanted to say that here, men have to--”

He broke off his sentence, drank his beer and muttered: “Ah, screw it, I just can't stand if some creep drools at you. If that makes me a misogynist, I'll accept it.”

“No, I think it's cute. You always want to protect others, and that's very nice,” she smiled.

“Does Wonder Woman ever need protection?”

“Oh, if I had ever a dime for every time a supervillain looks at my boobs before attacking me...”

“I may be the only guy who knows what you are talking about. Being on Themyscira was the weirdest experience ever, being surrounded by thousands of hostile women who stared at my breastless chest muscles. For the record, I still get nightmares from Antiope.”

“You should, she is the fiercest Amazon Themyscira has ever produced. Consider it an honor to get your butt kicked by my aunt.”

Steve laughed guiltily, and finally, he muttered: “Diana, can I ask you a personal question?”

“Sure.”

“Did you recently travel to Themyscira?”

“I go there about every other month. Meeting my mother has been tense lately. She complains that I am neglecting my duties at Themyscira, and seem to fail at the most basic princess duty, namely producing a daughter to continue the bloodline. That being said, she wasn't fond of Superman. Maybe I am not a good princess.”

Diana trembled, and Steve instinctively took her hands. They felt soft and warm, curious for a woman who wielded a sword on a daily basis. He looked her in the eye and replied: “That's only the concerned mom speaking. Diana, you are doing a fantastic job, everybody looks up to you. You are a beacon of hope in the world of man!”

“Thank you, Steve, your words are appreciated.”

“It is the least I can do for you. I took you for granted when we were together, and without my plane crash, you never leave Themyscira at all.”

“I wanted this, Steve. All my life, I was locked in a golden cage, longing to go out and fight for those who couldn't fight themselves. I knew that this came with a price, and if I remain a stranger forever, so be it.”

“I kind of miss Themyscira. Heck, I would gladly get clobbered by Antiope to make it happen.”

“This is so like you, isn't it? Always trying to help other people, always full of optimism, never giving up. Just listening to you already makes me feel better.”

“Likewise, Diana. Don't you think it inspires me to go to a bar with the greatest superhero of them all?”

“I am not the greatest superhero of them all. All polls put me at #3, behind Superman and Batman.”

“The only poll that counts for me is in here,” he grinned, slapping his chest, “and honestly, every time the Justice League does a photo shoot, the people stare at you. Superman is an alien, and Batman has no superpowers, but you combine the best of both worlds in a powerful, majestic and stunningly beautiful package.”

“Great Hera, how long have you been waiting to say that, you little schmoozer?”

“Since about one second. I just made it up!”

Diana stared at him, then laughed: “You are funny, Steve, and I dig it. Do you know what I love the most about now? I can totally be myself, and you are not even trying.”

“Thank you, Diana, it's also nice to talk to someone who addresses me as 'Steve', and not 'Colonel Trevor'.”

Steve noticed that he was still holding her hands, and she didn't seem to mind. After the last beer, Steve had planned to say goodbye, but instead, he smiled: “Do you want a late night snack, Diana?”

“I would love to!”

Half an hour later, they were munching Shawarma in one his favorite greasy spoons. Diana licked her fingers and grinned: “Suffering Sappho, I forgot how delightful fatty, unhealthy food full of gluten and lactose can be.”

“I have don't have anything against superfood. But believe me, if you are starving in some god forsaken trench in Qurac, you long for something more basic.”

“I'll feel that fat tomorrow, but it's worth it!”

“Diana, can your body become anything else than perfect? Aren't goddesses flawless by definition?”

“You are sadly mistaken. If I go down the road of my relative Bacchus, watch me become Balloon Woman. I have to work out for a reason, you know.”

“You were always in top physical condition. I am pretty sure you could beat me up without any superpowers. We sparred so often, and I never landed a darn punch on you.”

“Don't feel bad. Even Antiope admitted that my defense was 'almost decent'. That's the best compliment I ever got.”

“I concur.”

“You know what, Steve? I found our sparring nice, but slightly inefficient. You were always poking me to show some fancy punch or kick, but you have to master the basics first. An Amazon doesn't fear an opponent who practiced 1000 kicks once, but one who practiced one kick 1000 times.”

“Ah, another of my many blunders,” Steve sighed, but she smiled: “Don't feel bad, I remember it fondly.”

Afterwards, they went for walk at a river side and ended up on top of a bridge. Diana and Steve just talked and smiled. It felt so natural, and the chemistry between them was brimming. It was way past midnight when they reluctantly parted, and they promised to see each other next week.

“Steve Trevor, if I catch you daydreaming once more, I will send you to the infirmary!”

“W-What?!”

Steve snapped out of it and stared at a grinning Etta, who purred: “Dreaming of beautiful Amazon princesses again?”

“Yeah, the date went pretty well, I guess.”

“I noticed. When you came in, you had little sleep and quite a hangover,” she chuckled, and he ruefully confessed: “We talked until half past 2, and I must have downed like five beers and two pounds of cheap takeaway.”

“But it seemed worth it!”

“Most definitely, next date next week,” Steve grinned, and Etta gave him two thumbs up. He asked: “Diana is dying to see you again, do you want to come along?”

“Thank you, but aren't you having a romantic date? I don't want to spoil the atmosphere.”

“Etta, you are our dear friend, you couldn't spoil anything even if you tried. It will be fun!”

“Okay, Prince Charming, you win. I'll join you for the first two hours, and then you can do some girl-boy stuff.”

“It won't be necessary, Diana will be giddy to meet you again,” Steve beamed, kissing her on the cheek.

“Me, too,” she smiled, circling the date in her calendar with a big textmarker. Becoming serious again, she changed the topic and frowned: “Steve, did you already see the new red alert in the DEO bulletin?”

“Not really, what is bothering Director Waller?”

“We have been alerted to strange movements of our old enemy Isabel Maru, a. k. a. Dr. Poison.”

“Oh, what's our favorite drug dealer up to?”

“Nobody knows for sure. She has been undertaking shady mining projects in odd places, such as in Eastern Europe like Poland, Bosnia or Croatia, or in Africa, like Congo, Sudan and South Africa.”

“Maybe she is just trying to earn some money? It's not actually forbidden to mine for coal or diamonds.”

“The thing is that our paranormal department, led by John Constantine, is getting really worked up over it. Something strange is happening, and nobody knows what.”

“Since when is Dr. Poison a magician? She is a bioterrorist, not a warlock. It makes no sense.”

“It doesn't. There is also this recurring name again, 'Bospho Mosdei', who seems to work with her. Nobody knows what's the deal with him.”

“That's odd. With our level or surveillance, I am surprised there are citizens in our world about whom we don't know ages, favored films or shoe sizes.”

“That's why Director Waller sent that red alert. Constantine is on it, but keep your eyes peeled.”

Steve sighed, not comfortable with the thought of Dr. Poison plotting something shady. But soon, his thoughts turned to more pleasant topics, such as his upcoming date with a beautiful Amazon princess.

One uneventful week later, Etta and Steve were standing in the Maple Rooster, a casual chicken and waffles joint that both liked very much. Both were wistfully looking around, and Etta saw Steve stealing looks at the TV screens, where Lois Lane commented: “This is Lois Lane, reporting live from Fenway Park. In the bottom of the 3^rd inning, the Boston Red Sox lead the Metropolis Monarchs by 3-1...”

Etta teased Steve: “Are you more interested in Diana, or in the baseball game?”

“Hey, we are up by 3-1! If the Red Sox win this, this date is already a success,” he grinned. She rolled her eyes, and at 7 PM sharp, a tall, leggy brunette approached them.

“Hello, Steve!” Diana greeted, kissed him on the cheek, bear hugged Etta and exclaimed: “I am so happy to see you, Etta! It has been too long!”

“Indeed, you little rascal! Now let's make up for the lost time and have some fun!”

With a big smile, the three sat down at their table, and were soon gorging on chicken, waffles and sweet tea. Etta beamed: “Long time no see, Diana. I am happy to see that Steve and you are back on talking terms.”

“We had some… issues to discuss, but I think we are making decent progress, with the notable exception of that horrible beard.”

“Hey!”

“I am not too fond it either, but I never understood men very well in the first place,” Etta grinned, and happily gorged on the food. In between bites, she asked: “So, Diana, what have you been doing lately? I, uh, often see you on TV, but that's usually not the truth.”

“The usual stuff, I guess. Justice League, my own rogues' gallery, random supervillains, rinse and repeat. Regarding my hotly debated private life, I am slowly picking up the pieces and moving on.”

“If I can offer a helping hand, I am happy to. We girls must stick together!”

“Indeed,” Diana smiled and high-fived her. Both looked at Steve in mock disgust, who just grinned. Diana chuckled: “So, Etta, what have you been doing recently? Chaperoning Steve and still trying to work out my wardrobe?”

“More or less, Diana. Steve still drives me nuts with his endless bouts of radio silence, and just when I am writing his obituary, he pops up. Also, I still think your dark office suit is absolutely gorgeous. But I would prefer a handbag instead of swords and shields.”

“Fair point, and I still have it. I mended the hole that thug blasted into the cuff when I had to deflect his shot with my bracelet. I never fixed the glasses, though.”

“There were ugly anyway. What was Steve thinking when he made you wear those birth control glasses?”

Steve didn't dare to speak, reliving the afternoon when the awkward, dirty Amazon turned from a semi naked barbarian into the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.

“I don't know. On Themyscira, we don't have glasses.”

“I bet you could see a fly from a mile away anyway,” Etta retorted, emptying her pitcher and swiftly ordering a refill. Soon, the three were chatting and smiling, trading old jokes, sharing gossip and effortlessly rekindling the magic from years past. But finally, Diana had to address the elephant in the room. She lowered her voice and whispered: “Etta, are you angry at me? Years ago, I very publicly dumped Steve for Superman. We both talked it over, but I can only move on if I hear your side. I can take it.”

Etta remained silent. With the life experience of a dignified matron, she finally answered: “I was aware that you were quarreling, but it still hit me hard. The image of you kissing Superman… caused quite a stir.”

Diana avoided her gaze, and Etta continued: “I can't judge high profile romances, I am a simple woman who cares for her dear ones. Steve was utterly crushed, and I had to use all my secretary skills to set him straight again. Also, I had to fix Sameer and Charlie.”

Diana cringed, and although he was fully on the side of his men, Steve felt sorry for her. She muttered: “Do you hate me, Etta? I am so sorry for what I did!”

“'I', 'me'… once you reached a certain age, you learn that it's not always about yourself. Yes, I was pretty upset, and yes, neither Steve, Sameer, Charlie or me deserved that. But if you take away all the superpowers, the bracelets and the lasso, you were just a kid! When No Man's Land happened, I don't think you could legally buy a drink yet. At your age, I did worse things to my boyfriends, the difference was, nobody cared.”

“You seem to have… some experience…?”

Etta laughed loud and grinned: “Call me 'Predator', Diana. I was a popular singer back then. Men ate out my hand, and I gladly took advantage of their attention!”

Diana and Steve stared at her, and the Amazon didn't need her lasso to know that Etta had enjoyed the most lovers by far. She chuckled: “Sex appeal is not dependent on Body Mass Index. If I really wanted to, I could seduce Steve here and now, and he would enjoy every second of it!”

Steve jumped up in his chair, and Etta put her round arm around him and giggled: “No worries, Colonel, this secretary is keeping things professional.”

Diana smiled awkwardly, and finally mustered the courage to ask: “So… you don't hate me?”

“Ah, that stupid question again? No, I don't, especially you said the magic words.”

“What magic words?”

“'I am so sorry', and you really meant it. It comes a bit late, but not too late.”

“Oh, Etta!”

Diana flung her arms around her friend, so violently that she nearly choked. Etta awkwardly muttered: “Don't cry, you are messing up my makeup!”

“I was so afraid what you were going to say to me!”

“You are more afraid of me than of Ares or Doomsday? I am flattered. Not bad for a lowly secretary!”

Diana blew her nose and croaked: “Etta, you are the best, don't let anybody say something else. You are the best secretary in the world!”

Etta teased: “Hey, is that a compliment or an insult?”

“I beg your pardon?”

“When you first came here, you said that a secretary was basically a slave… which isn't too incorrect.”

“Hey!” Steve exclaimed, feigning anger, and Diana mumbled: “When I came to the world of man, I was just a dumb teenager. Considering the great work you do for Steve on a professional and personal level, I now think secretaries are clever, strong and useful!”

“Thank you! Did you hear that, Steve? How about that raise I asked you?”

“You just recently got promoted, Corporal Candy! If you do your job well, you may ask again next year!”

Etta rolled her eyes in mock exasperation, and Diana smiled and asked: “What does a secretary actually do?”

“Except doing everything for Steve, going where he tells me to go, and doing what he tells me to do? I organize his schedule, file his reports, do his accounting, prepare his trips, and help him in almost anything. That can be rough, especially when he DOESN'T KNOW where he wants to go, or what he wants to do!”

“Which happens pretty often,” Steve confessed.

“What education does it require? It is difficult?”

“You need skills in typing, filing, accounting, presenting and many more, and most importantly, nerves of steel. You deal with people, and often, with stress.”

Diana bowed forward and whispered: “Etta, do you think I could become a good secretary?”

Steve's jaw dropped to the floor.

“Are you serious?!”

“I am serious, Etta. I am looking for a daytime job.”

“I thought you Justice Leaguers chilled in your Watchtower in outer space, and got a fat monthly allowance. After all, billionaire Bruce Wayne is your spokesman!”

“No, it doesn't work like that. After that Brainiac fiasco, we swore never to separate ourselves from ordinary people again. In our secret identities, we are reporters, businesspeople, lawyers or scientists, and have to make a honest living like everybody else.”

“With your skill set, Diana, you should rather become a soldier, bodyguard, or some really badass secret agent!” Etta exclaimed, and Steve nodded. But she sighed: “I am so busy that I cannot do a full time job, and cannot do a job where my absence is spotted at once.”

“Why won't you model? It's a shallow job, but pays extremely well, ask your colleague Vixen. You are at least as beautiful as Ms. Makabe!”

“Thank you, Etta, but unlike Mari, I want to keep a secret identity. If I am a supermodel like her, everybody would find out who Wonder Woman is.”

“Just curious, but what is your current job?”

Diana looked down and confessed: “I deliver pizzas.”

Etta's jaw dropped to the floor, and Steve stammered: “You are working a minimum wage job?!”

“It is a very humbling experience, please understand that I won't go into details. But without a formal education or connections, I find it hard to get a better job.”

Steve was so shaken that he stammered: “This is unacceptable, Diana, we will find you a new job asap. How can you function if you can hardly pay your rent?”

“Steve, I don't want your pity!”

“Diana, you are our friend. When I come home, I will sift the job center for appropriate offers. There must be SOMETHING that fits!” Etta snapped, cracking her knuckles.

“Etta, Steve, you don't have to do this!”

“Diana, shut up and let me assist you. That's what secretaries do, help clueless people like Steve and you!”

Diana stared, then wrapped her arms around her and croaked: “You are really the best, Etta!”

“I know,” she grinned matter-of-factly. Bu when Diana awkwardly smiled at her, then at him, Steve had another flashback.

“Diana, admit that you never loved me!”

“Steve, of course I loved you.”

The scene ended abruptly, there was only silence. Steve squinted, not knowing what he should make of it. Suddenly, he jumped up in his seat and uttered: “Something is wrong!”

“W-What?”

Out of the corner of his eye, Steve saw a human shaped wrecking ball. He grabbed Etta and Diana by the wrists, pulled them down and shielded them with his body, just before it smashed the restaurant wall and rained debris all over the place. The guests screamed in horror, and Steve saw something that he would take to his grave.

A six foot tall, muscle bound monster hovered in front of him. Its skin was gray as ice, sucking all warmth out of Steve's bones, and covered in a spiked black body armor what seemed to make the air itself bleed. Where a normal person had eyes, he only saw a slit full of barbed wire, and it held itself in a posture of death incarnate.

Suddenly, Steve froze. The monster reminded him uncannily of somebody, and when he was about to make the connection, his eyes grew wide and--

The monster punched this notion out of his brain. Etta and Diana watched in horror as it grabbed him by the throat and picked him up like a sack of potatoes.

“TREVOR!!” the monster screamed in an inhuman, searing voice that made his ears bleed. It looked into the terrified crowd and boomed: “WONDER WOMANS... CUCKOLD!!”

I am not her cuckold, Steve wanted to scream, but his throat was getting crushed. Etta and Diana looked in horror as the monster grabbed him by the collar and flew away.

“Steve! NO!!” Etta screamed, and the last thing Steve saw was Diana's face, white to the lips.

Chapter Text

This is so cliché, supervillain abducts sidekick to lure the superhero out. If Cheetah sees this, I will never live that down, Steve groaned inwardly. The monster towed him through the air at seemingly supersonic speed, a gruesome parody of Diana's airlifts. Who is this monster?, he thought, but his mind was overwhelmed by its cold, deadly presence. It drained all warmth out of his body, as if it wanted to suck out his immortal soul.

Any moment, Steve expected to be dropped and fall to his death. But instead, it dragged him to the last place he would have expected: Fenway Park, the stadium of the famous Boston Red Sox baseball team. Lois Lane commented: “On to the plate is the leadoff hitter of the Monarchs, William Byrne… and what is that? Ladies and gentleman, a monster has invaded the pitch, and it is carrying a human body! This is a catastrophe!”

The sellout crowd and the players froze in fear when the monster hovered over the pitcher's mound, carrying Steve like a sack of potatoes. The players stormed off the field, and the policemen cocked their rifles. Red sniper dots appeared over the monster's body, blinding Steve, and he turned away, looked at the scoreboard and groaned: If I die now, I will kick the bucket with the Monarchs leading 5-4, top of the 7^th. Please, Diana, don't let this happen.

On queue, Lois Lane commented: “Ladies and gentleman, the cavalry has come! Boston's own Wonder Woman has flown in, and everybody hopes that she can defuse this situation!”

Diana hovered over the first base bag like an angel, tightly gripping her lasso. She glared at the monster, with the posture of a princess or a goddess, all muscles of her chiseled body tensed, her eyes full of silent rage, and boomed: “I am here, monster, what do you want? Who are you?”

It remained silent, causing more fear than any answer. The cameras zoomed in on Wonder Woman. The live feed, established to transmit a baseball game, broadcast a much more terrible fight into the entire world.

“GENOCIDE… WANT… YOUR SOUL!!”

Genocide grabbed Steve by the throat and threw him at Wonder Woman like a javelin. If he had smashed into the infield walls, he would have been killed on the spot, but Diana caught him in mid-air, got knocked over by the impact and crashed into the stands.

“Oh my God! The monster has thrown the civilian into Wonder Woman, but luckily, he seems unhurt! Rumor is that it is DEO Colonel Steve Trevor, who once was romantically linked to Wonder Woman. But more importantly, who or what is this monster? Is it some sort of Doomsday?” Lois Lane blurted out in horror, as the onlookers screamed and ran away in panic. The monster used the confusion to grab Diana's hair and deliver a devastating punch. Blood splattered out of her broken nose, and she fell to her knees, somehow deflected the next punch with her bracelets, and struggled as Genocide tried to crush her throat. The monster could have succeeded, but instead of focusing on her neck, it also attempted to grab her lasso. She snapped: “You want my lasso? Too bad, it's mine!”

“Get away from her, you monster!” Steve screamed, pulled his gun and shot point blank at its skull. The headshot did as much damage as a cotton ball.

“It's too dangerous for you, Steve! Just stay back!” Wonder Woman shouted, sneezing blood and desperately trying to wriggle free.

“Diana, I won't abandon you!”

“I can handle this alone!”

Steve was not convinced at all, but ran and took full cover. Lois Lane muttered: “Wonder Woman seems to have sprung Colonel Trevor loose, but she is in bad shape!”

Wonder Woman spat out blood, wrested herself out of its hold and threw her lasso. With incredible speed, Genocide dodged its path, smacked her to the ground and pummeled her with its gigantic fists. Steve just stared as her skull jerked from one side to the other, spraying blood all over the floor. Then Genocide charged at Steve, ripped the gun out his hand and slammed him to the ground, with so much force that he almost passed out. It planted its boot in his neck, nearly causing it to snap, pointed the gun at his head and boomed at Wonder Woman: “LASSO... OR DEATH!”

“Oh no! The monster is holding up Colonel Trevor, and seems to demand Wonder Woman's lasso!” Lois Lane mumbled.

“D-don't d-do it!” Steve croaked, nearly crushed under the soles of the monster. Diana froze, torn between two horrible decisions, until she finally threw her lasso and hissed: “May you choke on it!”

When Genocide gripped the rope, the color changed from golden to an evil pulsating purple, and a moment later, it drew the gun and perforated Steve's chest.

“NO!!” Lois Lane yelled. A scream came out of Diana's lungs, which had no resemblance to any living creature. It was a cry of utter despair, and all over the world, all TV watchers were frozen in horror as Colonel Steve Trevor slumped down, having given the ultimate sacrifice.

“You killed him!” Wonder Woman screamed, flung herself at Genocide and shouted: “I'll kill you! I'LL KILL YOU!!”

Full of holy rage, she charged at the monster, but it parried her blows with uncanny reflexes, grabbed her leg and smacked her into the concrete. With one terrible gesture, it threw the lasso and snared Diana.

“Great Hera! No! NOOO!! I am so sorry, mother… aunt… Steve… ” Wonder Woman screamed in horror, as if she stared into the darkest pits of hell. She rolled her eyes, went limp and fell backwards on the floor.

“Ladies and gentlemen, this is a tragedy! Colonel Trevor has been shot, and Wonder Woman is down! Is there nobody who can stop this bloodbath?” Lois Lane sobbed. The crowd looked in horrified silence as Genocide grabbed her throat and wanted to finish Wonder Woman off.

But out of nowhere, a blue blur appeared and blocked its fist an inch before impact. The monster was struck down by multiple blows, forcing it to drop Wonder Woman, and jumped into full cover. The onlookers felt it before their minds did. All knew who this miraculous rescuer was, and Lois Lane and an entire stadium screamed the immortal sentence: “LOOK IN THE SKY! IT'S SUPERMAN!!”

When the Man of Steel appeared, the entire crowd erupted in applause. It was not his square jaw, his chiseled chest, or his godlike posture that made everybody shudder, it was his calm, incredibly powerful gaze. It was something bigger than mortal, and even from the nosebleed seats, everyone got goosebumps. He placed himself in front of Wonder Woman and shouted: “You will not pass, you monster!”

“ Look out, Superman! It beat me as a warrior! IT BEAT ME AS A WARRIOR!!” Diana screamed, white to the lips.

“I'll be careful,” he replied. He hit Genocide with a full blast of his heat vision, and the monster cried out, smoking like a cigar. He ducked under Superman's punch, smashed its fist so hard into his chest that he flew backwards, and bellowed: “ENOUGH.”

Genocide snared Superman with an incredible lasso throw. It was so fast that even the man who faster than a speeding bullet couldn't dodge. The magic rope flared evilly, and then, he fell onto his knees, rolled his eyes in utter horror and screamed: “No, no! Forgive me, father! I let everybody down, you, Lara, Kara, Diana...”

“Oh no! After Superman's sensational appearance, the monster seems to have defeated him, too! Is there nothing that can stop it?” Lois Lane cried. The stadium watched in despair as the monster struck down the two mightiest superheroes. But out of nowhere, Steve staggered to his feet, grabbed the other end of the lasso and hissed: “I know this rope pretty well, monster! When two enemies fight over it, it will obey the person with the purer heart.”

Wonder Woman just stared at him. Her face was white to the lips, and she stammered: “You are dead, Steve! DEAD!”

“This is a sensational development! Colonel Trevor seems to have miraculously survived!” Lois Lane shrieked. Desperately ignoring the agony of his shattered ribs, he wrapped the poisoned rope around his hand and prepared to go through hell. His soul was engulfed by Genocide's black, twisted mind, and when his mind was about to break, he heard Wonder Woman shout: “Steve, you can do it! I believe in you! I always did, Steve!”

He heard her encouragement like through thick earmuffs, and it gave him the power to not go insane. Suddenly, Steve was plunged into a universe of stark, nameless death, Genocide's mind. Everywhere he looked, there was only pain, agony and despair. His mind buckled under the strain of the horrors, but with all his willpower, he forced himself to focus on the scene, instead of going the easy way and averting his eyes. Out of the nameless fog, a gate with the terrible sign appeared: ARBEIT MACHT FREI.

Steve's heart pounded when he realized that he was standing in Auschwitz. He turned his head, and witnessed the horrific ethnic cleansing in Srebrenica and Treblinka, and when he focused in the distance, he saw the terrors of the Darfur, Rwanda and Rhodesian massacres. The nameless horrors formed the center of Genocide's being, and where there should have been a living soul, there was nothing but void. Again, the monster reminded him uncannily of somebody, and now, it hit him like a bunch of rocks.

Genocide was Wonder Woman.

No, not Diana herself. But it was her clone, a golem brought to life by the horrors of genetic engineering and dark magic… Dr. Poison and that shaman, Bospho Mosdei. Its body belonged to Diana, its mind was the collective horror extracted from the soil of these atrocities.

Suddenly, Steve stopped hating Genocide. He looked past its violence and terror, and realized it was a wretched being, a tortured Frankenstein monster born and bred to hate, with no center of existence, no soul of its own.

The monster screeched in horror, trying to strike down Steve with its talons of hate. But they went straight through him, and he gazed at Genocide and whispered: “You are not real. You are only a shadow, brought to life by evil people who wanted to exploit and then discard you. Your entire existence is a lie, and you are a victim.”

“No! NO!!”

Steve calmly took out his old, battered No Man's Land picture, showing Diana, Sameer, Charlie, Chief and him, and continued: “See? That's the real Diana. Every fiber of yours belongs to her, and your mind is warped by your creators. Mankind is a not a perfect place, but we aren't as bad as Auschwitz or Darfur. You don't know what love is, and you don't know what pain is.”

He focused on his most painful moment.

“Diana, admit that you never loved me!”

“Steve, of course I loved you. But I moved on, and so should you,” she retorts and kisses Superman.

The monster stared at him, utterly unable to comprehend the concept of love, and its painful cousin, unrequited love. Steve held his gaze, not daring to blink or breathe, and finally, it whispered: “Want… die… me… afraid!”

“You needn't be. Hold my hand, and you will become one with the soil again.”

Genocide took off the barbed wire that covered its eyes, and underneath the mangled flesh, he recognized Diana's steel blue eyes. It looked at the No Man's Land picture, and for the first time, something resembling a soul sparkled in the gaze.

“Yes.”

Genocide took his hand, and instead of being a gauntlet of deadly frost, it felt just as slender and warm as Diana's. The monster peacefully closed its eyes, and dissolved in a cloud of pure, unsullied earth.

Suddenly, Steve fell back into reality. He was clutching Wonder Woman's lasso, which sparkled golden again, and Genocide had just exploded.

“Ladies and gentlemen, this is an utterly awesome turn of events! Colonel Trevor and the monster snared each other with Wonder Woman's lasso, and incredibly, the touch seemed to have destroyed the monster! Colonel Trevor, you smashed this ball out of the park!”

Steve fell to his knees, and Diana caught him and blurted out: “Steve, talk to me! What happened? Why aren't you dead?”

He just stared at her, squinting his eyes, and finally grinned: “I did it! To make it short, your lasso decided in my favor, and I love my bulletproof DEO underwear.”

He exposed his special Teflon reinforced undies. They had stopped the bullets and saved his life, at a cost of several broken ribs. Diana stammered: “Great Hera, I will never question your fashion choices again.”

Wonder Woman stared him fiercely in the eyes, and then, she flung her arms around him, and completely broke down. She cried long, gut wrenching sobs, as if she had gone through the deepest pits of despair, and got her one wish granted. For a couple of seconds, Steve heroically ignored his broken ribs, until he nudged her to let go. When she reluctantly complied, she noticed Superman and looked down awkwardly. But he only nodded in approval and bear hugged them both. Fenway Park erupted in applause, and Lois Lane crooned: “Oh, what a heart warming scene! Sorry, Batman, but today, the trinity consists of Superman, Wonder Woman and Colonel Trevor! Gosh, isn't Superman handsome? Oh, sorry, that was unprofessional...”

“Thank you, Steve, thank you for everything,” Diana sobbed, blowing her bloody nose, and Superman smiled: “Thank you, Colonel Trevor, I am deeply in your debt.”

Steve just stared at the Man of Steel.

“Diana, admit that you never loved me!”

“Steve, of course I loved you. But--”

Steve angrily slapped himself, causing him to fur his brow and ask: “Colonel Trevor, did I say something wrong?”

“Not at all, Superman. Nice to see you, it has been too long,” he answered, much to his surprise.

“Indeed,” he smiled without any malice, and tended to Wonder Woman like Mother Teresa herself. He reset her nose, drawing only the slightest cringe, and scanned Steve's chest with his x ray vision and offered: “Colonel Trevor, you have five cracked ribs. I can set and cauterize them with my heat vision, but it is going to hurt a bit.”

“So, what are you waiting for?”

“As you wish,” he smiled, planted his enormous hands on his chest and squeezed. Steve nearly jumped into the stratosphere, howling with pain at the searing heat vision, thrashing like a dead fish until Superman smiled: “Done!”

Steve stared at his chest, convinced to find his guts outside his body, but instead, everything was as good as new. Gosh, I sounded as heroic as a squealing pig.

Suddenly, he noticed that both baseball teams had come out, tipping their hats, and loudly applauding them. Fenway Park stood up and gave them a standing ovation.

“Wow! You guys are so awesome that even Red Sox and Monarch fans unite on something,” Steve uttered, but Wonder Woman smiled: “No, Steve, Superman and me are just extras today. This applause belongs to you!”

On queue, Superman and her joined in the standing ovation. There was no animosity that separated them, he was really the world's greatest boy scout. The stadium spotlights zeroed in on him, and Lois Lane beamed: “Today, ladies and gentleman, a mortal man made himself immortal!”

Steve was so overwhelmed that he hardly noticed Etta bear hugging him and sobbing: “Stop making me so proud!”

For once, Steve could live with a Red Sox loss.

Chapter Text

In the days after, Steve was inundated with congratulations. Of course, Director Waller shrewdly used it for a DEO PR blitz, and Etta deftly handled the media requests from Lois Lane, Vicki Vale, Iris West and many more. He hardly slept, but after being the butt of jokes for so long, he gladly embraced the admiration.

“Ah, there you are, Steve, back from the Cat Grant Late Show in National City. Did you see Supergirl?” Etta grinned.

“No, but I appreciate some days without superheroes for a change,” he sighed ruefully, rubbing his sore ribs.

“Normally I wouldn't do this, but being on social media is a joy for you now. You're being memed to death, Steve. People are picturing you beating Muhammad Ali, Darth Vader or the Wicked Witch of the West with your lasso, and some joker set up the 'Steve Trevor Facts' blog, which makes the Chuck Norris Facts look bland.”

“I am ashamed to admit that I like this,” me grinned, but in a more serious tone, Etta continued: “I just got off the phone with John Constantine. Zatanna and him analyzed the remains of the Genocide monster, and confirmed that it is Diana's clone. It must have been reconstructed from large amounts of fresh blood. Can you think of an occasion where Wonder Woman was sliced up?”

“Oh my God! When Cheetah attacked Wonder Woman last month, she slashed her multiple times. Diana bled off almost half a gallon. Cheetah must have been someone's lackey!”

“We may have two 'someone's'. One is our old enemy Isabel Maru, Dr. Poison, who has the biochemical knowledge to clone a human body. But the spirit was provided by that mysterious African shaman, Bospho Mosdei, who distilled human hate out of soil samples in Auschwitz, Srebrenica, Rwanda, Cambodia, and many more.”

“Who is Bospho Mosdei? I have never heard of him!”

“Neither did anyone else, but Diana and me have a hunch why. How well do you know our archenemy Ares?”

“The less I have to know about this raging psychopath, the better,” Steve muttered. Etta replied: “After No Man's Land, Ares may have been banished from our world, but he has two sons. Do you know their names?”

Steve shook his head, and she answered: “Their names are Phobos and Deimos. Now look at our odd shaman.”

She wrote PHO-BOS and DEI-MOS, and then switched the syllables to create BOS-PHO MOS-DEI. Steve buried his face in his hands and groaned: “I hate evil Greek gods. This explains why that 'shaman' left such enormous magical trails, and why despite of this, even John Constantine had no files on him.”

“It gets more interesting, Steve. Our LexCorp mole tipped us off that neither Dr. Poison nor Phobos, nor Deimos seem to have ordered the Genocide project.”

“LexCorp? Ah, it's Lex Luthor, I should have known!”

“No, Steve, he seems innocent for a change. If we can believe our intel, it's his partner, Veronica Cale.”

“The billionaire heiress with the 1000 charities and the disabled daughter? That's absurd! Why should she?”

“Nobody knows, but it's hearsay anyway,” she sighed, straightened up and reminded Steve: “In 15 minutes, you got a meeting with Clark Kent of the Daily Planet.”

“The Daily Planet, again? Didn't I already talk to Lois Lane and Jimmy Olsen?”

“Apparently, Metropolis cannot get enough of you. You met Superman and saved the Monarchs, after all.”

Steve sighed, and 15 minutes later, politely greeted Clark Kent, the bespectacled, mild mannered yin to Lois Lane's in your face, fiery yang. He cringed at his surprisingly hard handshake, and after a few standard questions, Clark whispered: “Colonel Trevor, this visit may seem a bit superfluous, but I wanted to personally say thank you. My girlfriend was there at Fenway Park.”

“You're welcome, Mr. Kent. I am sure she is very nice.”

“She's Lois Lane.”

Steve stared at Clark, and muttered: “Since when are you two Daily Planet anchors together?”

“Since about a month, we have kept it under wraps. We'll tell it to the world when we feel we are ready.”

“Suit yourself. I only did my job there. I am no pushover, I am a top agent of the DEO after all.”

“You got abducted by the most terrifying monster since Doomsday, only because you were Wonder Woman's confidant, and with an act of ultimate bravery, saved both Wonder Woman's and Superman's lives. I am familiar with many superheroes, and nobody else could have pulled that off, not even anyone on the Justice League.”

“I don't follow the Justice League. Ever since that Brainiac debacle, my relation has been a bit… strained. My girlfriend dumped me for Superman, after all. We only recently patched things up, and during the fight, I didn't know if Superman was going to save or deck me.”

Clark shifted uncomfortably in his chair, and Steve didn't know why. Suddenly, the reporter whispered: “Actually, this is exactly why I came here. You saved my life, and you deserve the truth.”

Steve was totally nonplussed. Clark discarded his glasses, picked up the massive table with one hand and threw it across the room. Before it hit the wall, he flew over, snatched it out of the air, and put it down again.

Steve sat there in stunned silence, became chalk white, and finally blurted out: “You… you are… Superman!”

“Not so loud! The DEO has microphones everywhere!” Clark hissed, putting his glasses back on. Steve just sat there, unable to comprehend the magnitude of this revelation, until he finally croaked: “I-in that c-case, thank you for saving Wonder Woman's life, that monster would have killed her with the next blow.”

“I should thank you. That lasso exactly hit my Achilles heel, my guilt that I am the last survivor of Krypton. I am so impressed that you could kill that creature.”

“I mercy killed it, it was a golem with no soul. Luckily I am the one person not named Wonder Woman who can wield that stupid piece of rope. By the way, why were you at Fenway Park anyway?”

“Because my girlfriend Lois was there, and I am a big fan of the Monarchs.”

“I hate you. I can forgive you for dating my ex, but not for being a Monarchs fan.”

“That's why I am actually here. I just want to tell you that I am sorry how things unfolded, years ago. After fighting with you, Diana was very upset, and came to me crying. We were both strangers in a strange land, lonely and desperate, and it just happened.“

“I really think it was a low blow.”

“It was, and I am very sorry.”

Steve glared at him, and in the end, just mumbled: “Fair enough.”

Clark seemed relieved. He whispered: “I also know how much you distrust the Justice League, and for good reason. As leader of our group, I freely admit that we were guilty of hubris. We wanted to be the guardians of the world, but separated ourselves from the people we swore to protect, and too often said that that the goals justify the means. After the Brainiac debacle, we were close to disbanding. But we didn't quit and continued our fight, because we wanted to do what was necessary, not what was easy.”

“You darn messed up, but I think you did some amends. No way Doomsday is defeated if you aren't around.”

“You have no reason to trust us, Colonel, but I want to be a part of the solution, not the problem. I just revealed my biggest secret to you, and hope that we will at least have a working relation. The Justice League and the DEO should fight together, not against each other.”

Steve remained silent.

“I don't expect an immediate decision. I just want you to know that I am on your side, Colonel. Also… I know that Diana and you have been rekindling your relationship.”

“Please don't go there, Superman.”

“I want you to know that I want you to be happy, and that there is no ill will from my side, not more, not less.”

“Thank you,” Steve muttered, remaining stiff. Clark sighed, and concluded: “I think I'll move on now. But I want to give you a little something.”

He put an odd disc shaped wafer with a 'JL' print on the table, and Steve asked: “What is this?”

“This is a Justice League communicator. If you want to ever contact us, just press the big 'JL', and you will directly speak on our top secret line.”

“You are not suggesting that I will ever use it!”

“As I said, it's only an offer. I hope that one day, we will at least have a working relation.”

Clark nodded and left the room, and Steve eyed the communicator and muttered: “Never gonna happen, you dirty Monarchs fanboy.”

For some reason, he couldn't get as much disgust into his voice as he wanted, and just sighed. Suddenly, Steve's mobile phone rang, and he smiled when he recognized the caller. He purred: “Hello, Diana!”

“Hi, scruffy! How are you?”

“I'm fine! How's your nose?”

“Still swollen, but I'll survive. Do you want to hang out with me after work on Revere Beach? I would like to breath some sea air and enjoy the evening sunset.”

“Sure thing, we can meet there at 7 PM!”

“Sounds great, see you later, Steve!”

Etta smiled and crossed her fingers.

At 7 PM, Steve was waiting at Revere Beach, and was treated to a dazzling sunset. He didn't have to wait long until a tall, leggy brunette with sunglasses arrived and smiled: “Good evening, scruffy!”

“Hi, Diana. Do you want to go for a walk?” he beamed, flicking sand out of his beard. He pointed at the beach, which was illuminated in blue and gold, and Diana beamed: “Steve, I would love to!”

They took off their shoes, strolled in the lovely sand and happily smiled at each other. Steve looked into her face and cringed: “Your nose still looks dangerous.”

“I'm a warrior, I'll tough it out. I also have a nice black eye, that's why I am wearing sunglasses.”

“You're limping. You really got walloped, didn't you?”

“It's my own darn fault. If I hadn't been so arrogant and said that I could do it all alone, me and you could have been killed.”

“Well, we don't fight a Wonder Woman clone with a totally warped mind every day.”

“To use my own blood against me is the most despicable act I know. It is worthy of Phobos and Deimos, Ares's sinister sons, and I can imagine that Cheetah and Dr. Poison willingly helped them,” Diana snapped, but then, she smiled: “But on the other hand, I am still swooning about your bravery in the Genocide fight. I should give you my lasso, you seem better with it than me anyway.”

“Keep it, Diana, you have a copyright on it,” Steve joked, but then whispered: “I don't know if you are aware of it, but Clark Kent came to me today, revealed his secret identity, and gave me a Justice League communicator.”

“I heard it through the grapevine. You deserve the truth, Steve, we lied to you long enough.”

“We had a nice man-to-man talk about that breakup, but in the end, I think we were both cool with it.”

Diana seemed relieved, and for a complete mile, they smiled, laughed and poked at each other, swapping stories, and sincerely enjoying each other's company. But finally, their conversation dried up, and they couldn't ignore the elephant in the room anymore. Steve confessed: “Diana… the last few years, I horribly missed you.”

“I missed you, too, Steve, but you never called.”

“It didn't seem appropriate. You were with somebody.”

“You are my friend. My door is always open.”

“It didn't seem that way. Remember our break up? I screamed at you to admit that you never loved me, and you said...”

“'Steve, of course I loved you. But I moved on, and so should you', yes, I admit it, but we were both set up by Brainiac. I low blowed you with Superman, and I will regret it for the rest of my life.”

“Well, he IS Superman. He can fly like you.”

“It didn't work. Maybe everything is my fault.”

“It's nobody's fault, it just happens.”

Diana gazed at him in wonder. In the last weeks, she witnessed that the lovable babyface she once knew had become a hardened warrior, strong and kind, living according to a code of honor she deeply admired. He was no longer a cute puppy, begging for her attention, but a powerful hound that protected those in need of him.

“Steve, maybe this sounds arrogant, but I am very good at love, but not very good at romance. Maybe this is the reason why I hurt the people I love the most.”

“I don't know about Superman, but don't feel bad for me. I remember myself as a needy, possessive jerk who was afraid of your powers. I am sorry.”

“You don't need excuses. I was your first love, Steve.”

“Did you magic lasso tell you that?”

“From the moment I rescued you, your eyes sparkle every time you see me. Your love was maybe misguided, but it was sincere. It flattered me, and I never regretted you.”

“Diana, I made many mistakes, but please understand: for us mortals, gazing at you is like staring into the sun. You get blinded, and do things you regret later.”

“I made mistakes, too, Steve. By now, we have circled each other for years. We both know our heart's desire, but were both too afraid to commit… you, the elite soldier, and me, the war goddess.”

“I know what I want, Diana. I want to be there for you, and make you happy. I can only be happy if you are.”

“Steve, I don't want to you to get hurt or killed because of me. I could never forgive myself.”

“Diana, what if I don't care? I will always be there for you, because I love you from the bottom of my heart. Diana, I want to live and die at your side, and if I get hurt or killed, then so be it.”

Diana took Steve's hands and looked him in the eye. He returned her gaze with such a calm, unconditional love, that it sent chills down her spine. Finally, she whispered: “Steve, I would love to kiss you.”

“I would love that, too.”

She wrapped her hands around his neck and gave him a long, passionate kiss. He eagerly responded, and choked with joy when he tasted the ambrosia of her tongue. Suddenly, both realized that they were crying. But the tears were sweet and happy, and both were beaming.

“We have so much to work through,” Diana sobbed, but Steve croaked: “We have all the time in the world, angel!”

Suddenly, Diana burst out laughing.

“What's so funny?” Steve blurted out, but she blew her nose, wiped happy tears off her face and beamed: “You called me 'angel', I missed that so much!”

She gazed him in the eyes and continued: “Steve, the three most horrible moments of my life involved you. First, I thought you drowned when you crashed on Themyscira. Second, you seemingly died in that plane when we fought Ares. Third, you were shot by Genocide. I think I am realizing who I really love.”

“Me, too, angel. Before you, I thought I had seen it all. But after seeing turn into Wonder Woman on No Man's Land and carving up that army, I believe in miracles again.”

Diana kissed him, and he eagerly responded. Emboldened by his approval, she pointed at his army watch and purred: “Can I have this? It would mean very much to me.”

“Certainly,” he beamed, fastened his watch around her slender wrist and kissed her. She gladly responded, snuggled up against him and was the happiest girl in the world.

Every Thursday, Steve, Sameer, Charlie and Chief met in their favorite pub to play Texas Hold 'Em Poker. As usual, Sameer was winning. He bluffed Steve into losing three quarters of his chips and grinned: “Hehe, my three of a kind beats your two pairs, boss!”

While he took his chips, Charlie muttered: “They say that you're either lucky in cards, or lucky in love. Stevie Boy seems to have netted an exotic princess.”

Chief just grinned, but Sameer blurted out: “I am still in disbelief, but then, I am not the guy who saved Wonder Woman and Superman from a scary monster.”

“I was just very lucky, Sameer.”

“Being very lucky for so long is a skill, boss. We slowly suspect you are actually good in your job.”

“In contrast to Wonder Woman, he not only rocks, but owns up to his mistakes,” Charlie muttered and was shuffling the cards, when suddenly a tall, leggy brunette appeared.

“Hi,” Diana whispered in a warm, but awkward voice. The four men stared in disbelief, and Steve's smile was contrasted with the reserved looks of his men.

“Greetings, Diana,” Chief greeted.

“Hi,” Sameer mumbled, and Charlie remained silent.

Diana quavered, which was very odd to see for a hardened Amazon warrior, and blurted out: “I want to say that I am very sorry for our fight years ago. I dumped Steve for Superman, betrayed you others in more ways than one, and never apologized. If you hate me, then I will accept it.”

The men just stared, making her squirm.

“You better be prepared for that, Diana! Getting a broken elbow by Batman was bad enough, but seeing you protect him instead of me was the worst,” Sameer snapped.

“When you turned on me, I lost it. I was so shaken that I became an alcoholic again, and only recently dried up,” Charlie hissed, pointing at his lemonade.

“I wasn't even part of the DEO yet, and it killed me inside. What did we do to deserve this?” Chief muttered.

“Nothing! Tricked by Brainiac, the Justice League and me thought that your Team VII was a threat to mankind. I did what I thought was right, and learned that actions have consequences,” Diana replied, beet red with shame.

“After No Man's Land, I think we would be friends forever. I guess I was wrong,” Sameer retorted, and Charlie hissed: “The cake sure tastes sweeter when you don't have to share it with stupid peons like us anymore!”

“You aren't stupid! I was!” Diana cried out and sobbed: “I did a horrible mistake, and I just want to let you know I am sorry. If I can make amends, I would be very glad to, and if it's broken beyond repair, I'll regret it forever.”

Sameer, Charlie and Chief glared at her, and finally, the Arab whispered: “Diana, you backstabbed us, but you were put into a very bad spot. You could either betray Steve and us or your Justice League comrades, it was lose-lose.”

“Not to mention that Steve was treating you like a dick. Deep down, I knew that you would break up,” Charlie muttered, and Chief added: “Also, you were just a teenager, alone and far away from home.”

Diana stared at them, not daring to blink or breathe. Sameer sighed: “Diana, sometimes, just remind yourself that not everyone is as wonderful as you. My elbow hurt like hell, but still, I always thought of you, hoping that you appeared so I could beg you for forgiveness.”

“Me, too,” Charlie confessed.

“Forgiveness? For what? I did the mistake!”

Chief whispered: “You are a goddess, and you inspire us mortals. Sameer went extra hard on rehab, because you taught him to ignore pain, and Charlie kicked the bottle quickly because he knew that you expected him to.”

“I betrayed you! You should hate me!”

“We did, but in the end, we hoped that you returned and apologized… and now, you finally did,” Sameer grinned, and so did Charlie and Chief. Diana couldn't bear to look them in the eye, and finally, Charlie stood up, hugged her and whispered: “Welcome back!”

Diana wrapped her arms around him and cried fat, happy tears. She drenched Sameer's and Chief's shoulders when they hugged her, and finally, she sat next to a beaming Steve. On queue, Charlie ditched his cards, sat on the piano and grinned: “So, Diana, what do you want me to play?”

The other men just stared at him, and Steve chuckled: “The last time you played piano was years ago!”

“Yes, but now Diana is back again! Do you think I show off my skills to you stinking lowlifes?”

All tension evaporated in a huge gust of laughter, and with a huge smile, Diana whispered: “Then play our our song, Charlie, I'll Walk Beside You.”

She pulled Steve on the little dance floor, and soon, both were slowly swaying to Charlie's music. Steve kissed Diana and smiled: “Like in old times, isn't it?”

“I love it. I haven't been swaying in eternities.”

“Me neither.”

“Life is so nice when there are no wars… just make breakfast, wake up, read the paper, go to work, get married, make some babies, grow up together.”

“Stop stealing my lines, Diana,” Steve smiled, and she kissed him on the lips and cuddled up to him. Suddenly, Sameer grabbed Chief's shoulder, pointed out of the window and muttered: “It is really snowing? It's spring!”

Chief saw the snowflakes falling down, looked at Diana and Steve and shrugged knowingly: “If a goddess is happy, nature obliges.”

“Never, NEVER rob a bank again!” Wonder Woman hissed after destroying the arctic armor of the Blue Snowman, punched her to the ground and snared her in her lasso.

“Thanks, Wonder Woman, we will take it from here,” the policemen smiled, saluting the superheroine, and she quickly flew away, eagerly awaiting the next date with Steve. This time, it took place at this apartment. Careful not to get caught by onlookers, she flew on his balcony, carefully opened the door and whispered: “Steve? Steven?”

She entered the room and stared at a candle light dinner with roasted chicken, Greek salad and two tall glasses of sparkling champagne. Steve came out of the kitchen, and Diana's jaw dropped to the floor. Instead of the scruffy, lovable caveman, which she had learned to love, she was greeted by a cleanly shaved, perfectly coiffed dressman who wore an elegant tuxedo and held a big bouquet of roses.

“Great Hera, Steve, what happened? You cooked, shaved, and dressed up!”

“Angel, I have Wonder Woman for dinner. I must step up my game”, Steve grinned, kissed his stunned girlfriend on the cheek and gave her the bouquet.

“I don't know what to say, Steve. I was expecting your usual Caveman Special, and now you are spoiling me”, Diana giggled, lovingly stroking his strong, cleanly shaven chin. She then buried her face in the roses and eagerly sat down. Steve grabbed his glass and smiled: “To us!”

“To us!” Diana beamed, clinked her glass and drained it. She stared at her stunningly handsome boyfriend and muttered: “Great Hera, I don't know what to say. You look like a supermodel, and I am all sweaty, and wearing my dirty, banged up Wonder Woman armor.”

“You did all the hard work today, angel. Now it's my time to shine”, he smiled, and she hungrily attacked the food. Diana eagerly wolfed down the crispy chicken, the savory salad and washed it down with the exquisite champagne.

“This is so good, Steve. You really should be the Justice League cook. Too bad I am already done and want to proceed to dessert.”

“Oh, are you already full? For dessert, I made some of your favorite Mousse Au Choc--”

Before Steve could finish his sentence, she wrapped her arms around his shoulders and gave him a long, passionate kiss. With an evil grin, she purred: “Okay, Steve, where is the bedroom?”

“Oh, THAT kind of dessert!” Steve grinned, flashing the stupidest, happiest grin she ever saw. Diana greedily ripped off his tuxedo, pulled down his boxers and whispered: “Do you want to get laid by a dirty, sweaty Wonder Woman?”

Steve nodded so eagerly that she laughed. She carried him to the bed, and he beamed like a priest worshiping his goddess. With a huge smile, Diana went down on him.

They spent all night eating dessert.

“Greetings, Lieutenant Prince.”

“Greetings, Colonel Trevor, greetings, Corporal Candy.”

Steve sighed as a nervous, but happy Lieutenant Diana Prince took her place as his new secretary. Etta was now his right hand, had her own office.

Steve squinted when he saw Diana. She wore her hair in a severe bun, put on a grey hat, clunky birth control glasses, and chosen a dark office suit with a white blouse, knee length skirt and black sandals. For the uninitiated, she looked like a spinster, but it tugged at Steve's heartstrings. It was a spitting image of the outfit Etta chose for her in the shopping mall years ago. When he stared, Etta grinned knowingly, and he finally muttered: “So, Lieutenant, here is your computer, here are your files, and here is our schedule. I hope that Corporal Candy's secretary crash course helped. Please don't make me regret that I pulled some strings to get you in here.”

“I will not disappoint you, Colonel! For my new job, I will use the power of Zeus, the wisdom of Athena and the speed of Mercury!” she beamed, crossing her wrists Wonder Woman style. Steve heroically suppressed a grin, and Etta beamed: “Better than using it to deliver pizzas.”

“Okay, Lieutenant, then please use your godlike powers to go to the DEO post office and get us new stamps.”

“Yes, Sir!” Diana saluted. She kissed Steve's watch, which sparkled on her slender wrist, and stormed out.

“She sure isn't lacking in enthusiasm,” Etta giggled, but Steve muttered: “Diana will be such a handful. I hope she survives the first three months without blowing up the DEO. Also, having Wonder Woman as a secretary is a total waste of her talents!”

“Steve, we three talked it over multiple times. Firstly, Diana gets a nice respectable job, neither too small nor too big. Secondly, Lieutenant Prince can do many things Wonder Woman cannot. Thirdly, and most importantly, she loves you, Steve. She wants to be close to you, and help Colonel Trevor as much as he helps Wonder Woman.”

“This will require a miracle to work.”

“Steve, you said that after seeing Diana in No Man's Land, you started believing in miracles again.”

Steve glared at her and muttered: “This will be such a disaster.”

Etta chuckled: “This will be so much fun!”

With a big sigh, Steve sat behind his desk and reached into his chest pocket. He would carry the No Man's Land picture to his grave, but now, it was joined by another photo. It showed Steve flinging his arms around Diana, who eagerly poured her tongue down his throat. He fondly recalled the words they exchanged.

“ Diana, you always loved me , didn't you? ”

“Steve, of course I did, I always will. We both moved on, and this time, nothing will ever tear us apart.”

Chapter Text

The quotes “Diana, admit that you never loved me!” - “Steve, of course I loved you. But I moved on, and so should you.” are from Forever Evil: ARGUS (2014). However, in the comics, Wonder Woman didn't dump Steve for Supes in that scene.

There are many references and quotes for the Wonder Woman movie (2017), most notable the famous No Man's Land and the Veld dancing scenes, taking place in the snow. The WW Greg Rucka comics are also referenced often, especially issues #9 and #25.

Superman and Wonder Woman canonically were together from 2013-6, even starring in their own eponymous comic series. Prior, Diana dumped Steve first before hooking up with Supes. I think it was in some Justice League issue directly in front of SM/WW #1.

Amanda Waller and Steve Trevor worked together in ARGUS, a sort of FBI oversees metahuman threats. But because it (imho) never really took off, and was eclipsed by the DEO in popularity, I decided to put them into this organization.

In the comics, Steve led the Justice League of America, and reported to Amanda Waller. Set up by an evil Alfred Pennyworth, the JLA fought the Justice League with Wonder Woman in 2013. In this fic, the culprit is Brainiac. This in turn is a hat tip to “Divided We Fall”, a similar story arc of the Justice League cartoon series (2005) in which a Lex Luthor/Brainiac hybrid caused Waller's team to clash with the Justice League.

Team VII refers to Team 7 of Wildstorm Comics, later acquired by DC Comics. In the 2011 incarnation, both Steve Trevor and Amanda Waller were members.

Task Force X is the main squad of Amanda Waller, better known as the "Suicide Squad". It famously features DC fan favorite Harley Quinn.

Alex Danvers is a lesbian DEO member and the foster sister of Kara Danvers, the superhero known as Supergirl. In the eponymous TV series, she is the personal assistant of media tycoon Cat Grant.

Dr. Barbara Minerva (Cheetah) originally being Steve's team mate comes from the Greg Rucka comics (2016). Her taunting Steve for his unrequited love to Diana is a reference to Forever Evil (2013). Her god Urzkartaga being man hating is an invention of mine, though.

Manhunter (Kate Spencer) legally representing Wonder Woman in court is a nod to a story arc in her eponymous comic book (mid 2000s).

That Diana doesn't fear an opponent who practiced 1000 kicks once, but one who practiced one kick 1000 times, is a reference to a famous Bruce Lee quote.

Diana working as a pizza delivery girl is a nod to the infamous Wonder Woman #73 (1987).

Genocide is imho one one of the coolest one shot villains of Diana, battling her the first time in Wonder Woman #26 (2009). In the comic, she was also established as a Wonder Woman clone, brought to life by Ares, Felix Faust and T.O. Morrow. Her name comes from the fact that her "soul" was extracted from the soil of mankind's worst genocides, such as in Auschwitz, Darfur, Cambodia and more.

Etta Candy originally being a singer is a reference to the comic “The Legend of Wonder Woman” (2016), in which she is one.

Superman is canonically established as a long standing fan of the fictional Metropolis Monarchs baseball team. The batsman "William Byrne" is a reference to Wonder Woman inventor William Moulton Marston and his partner Olive Byrne.

Diana canonically became a Bostonian in the 1980s.

Billionaire Veronica Cale has been established as Wonder Woman's new archenemy in Greg Rucka's WW run (2016).

The Blue Snowman is a Golden Age enemy of Wonder Woman and mostly forgotten nowadays. I kinda like her, though.