Work Text:
It has been raining, nonstop. For almost a week.
Minhyuk sighed as he opened the door to his apartment. He glanced at the dark cloud, knowing that this rain will not stop anytime soon. The tipping tapping sound of the pouring rain was hitting the roof of the corridor as he locked the door. He shifted the bag on his shoulder, another hand holding the umbrella. He walked down the steps just by the end of the corridor, opening the umbrella as the shelter came to an end.
It has been raining. Minhyuk couldn’t remember since when.
“Teacher, I need a blue crayon. The old ones can’t be used anymore.” Little Minhyuk ran towards his teacher and showed to her the blunt and short crayon. The teacher smiled and took the crayon away from little Minhyuk’s hand.
“Ne… Minhyuk-sshi… It’s your second blue crayon for the week. There are some other colors you can use.” The teacher said, ransacking the drawer for a new set of crayon box, just so she could pass little Minhyuk a blue crayon.
“Here you go. Make sure share with the others and save it for some other activity, okay.” The teacher said with a smile as she gave little Minhyuk the crayon. Little Minhyuk smiled widely and nodded his head.
“But teacher. I couldn’t possibly be painting the skies and seas in red, right?”
Minhyuk closed the umbrella the moment he was standing under a shelter. The heavy rain threatening not to stop, and probably Minhyuk blamed the weather for his gloomy mood. He shook the umbrella a little, draining out some of the water before opening the glass door to the cafe.
Minhyuk realized that the cafe wasn’t as crowded as how it always was. Probably ever since it has been raining hard, there were fewer customers coming in. But it wasn’t much to Minhyuk’s concern. He left the umbrella by the side, along with other wet umbrellas there. He walked up to the cashier but before he could order something, Hoseok smiled as brightly as he could and if Minhyuk had his way, he could say that Hoseok’s smile could stop the rain and brings out the sun.
But no. It was only in Minhyuk’s imagination.
“Your normal caramel macchiato today?” Hoseok asked from behind the counter. Minhyuk didn’t reply at first. His eyes shifted to the drinks preparation area. He bit his lower lips, eyes slowly lowering down.
Of course. Why would he be there?
Minhyuk never liked Hoseok’s playlist. It’s those songs which made Minhyuk’s head pound, and apparently, it stopped his creative juice from flowing out of his brain. Hoseok knew well enough that Minhyuk hated it, so he doesn’t really know why Hoseok had it on queue now.
The music came to an end and for once, Minhyuk thanked God it did. His eyes were staring at the stairway, like as if he can pierce through a look straight to Hoseok.
Minhyuk returned back his attention to the half-done wall. The spring theme had made him feel like a lost kid, all confused. He had too many ideas that he doesn’t even know where to start. Having Hoseok closing the upper level of the cafe is good enough, but he doesn’t know why he had mental block now.
Minhyuk tested the paint color on his palm. He realized the color and the texture isn’t what he wanted. He didn’t realize that he was painting almost his whole palm when the speaker was blasting with music, the ones that made his head throb. He clicked his tongue and got up from the ground, almost struggling since his other hand was filled with colored paint. He stomped his feet on the ground, making his way down the stairs.
“Hoseok Hyung!” Minhyuk called out as he made a sharp turn from the stairway heading towards the counter but before he knew it, he bumped into a strong chest. His hands were resting on them like as if stopping it from crushing him. Minhyuk was stunned by the blue paint which stained the guy’s white button on shirt. He gasped, raising his gaze to meet the taller guy.
Minhyuk tried to say something but he realized his words were stuck in his throat, or maybe the words were clouded in his head. He blinked but he couldn’t avert his view from the guy in front of him.
The sudden smile the guy flashed at him made Minhyuk weakened on the knees. To Minhyuk, he had never seen a guy this handsome before, beautifully sculptured like those Greek Gods. Probably even beautiful than any portrait he had ever worked on.
“Ah… Minhyuk-sshi. He’s our new barista, Hyunwoo. Today is his third day in store. So, I guess you will be seeing more of him soon.” Minhyuk heard Hoseok’s voice somewhere behind the counter. He peered over Hyunwoo’s shoulder, in search for Hoseok. He saw how Hoseok was smiling mischievously and Minhyuk sort of hated the look, just like how he hated Hoseok’s playlist.
“Minhyuk-sshi… I’ll prepare your drink and probably you can get started with the drawings. The 2nd storey is closed for today again so you can do your work.” Hoseok said, still have the smile plastered on his face. Minhyuk averted his attention back to Hoseok. He flashed a small smile, which is more like returning back the courtesy.
Minhyuk walked up the steps to the second level after collecting his drink. He knew it will be just him and his work for probably 2 hours from now. Because he knew Hoseok won’t leave him alone, sending him some snacks by then and maybe chat with him for a while.
There is nothing much that Minhyuk can say about the cafe. It’s not like as if he is frequent there, or not like as if he is super close to Hoseok, the barista there. It’s not like as if it’s his favourite place. No, not anymore. To be frank, he’s only there solely for work. And that work that was tied down to the stated cafe only comes every 2 or 3 months.
He saw the rain dropped from the balcony of the cafe. The sheer curtain which adorned the balcony door was left untied, making it danced to the rhythm of the harsh wind.
Minhyuk placed his bag on the ground, just by the other side of the wall. He sighed as he looked at the murals on the wall. His own artwork on the wall, looking all so bright in contrast to the weather now. He remembered it was summer and he was requested for any summer theme drawings.
The sunrise view of the seaside, with a lighthouse at the far end. It doesn’t look too summery theme to think of it, but seaside always comes into mind when it comes to summer. And that was what Minhyuk was thinking about back then.
Back then when he still understood the meaning of summer. When he still understood the meaning of bright. And happiness.
He studied the dominant color of blue on the painting. All shades of blues. He remembered how he had searched high and low for all those tones. How he had mixed some colors to create a new tone of blue.
“Is your favourite color blue?” Hyunwoo asked as he looked at Minhyuk mixing two tones of colors. He was sitting beside Minhyuk, accompanying him to get his artwork done. Minhyuk was too focused with the colors, sticking out his tongue to the side of his mouth in concentration. He raised the paintbrush, studying the color that was on the brush with one eye closed.
“Not really. But don’t you think it’s an essential color?” Minhyuk asked back, testing the color on the draft paper that was on the ground. He tilted his head to the side, couldn’t decide if he liked the tone or not.
“You need blue to paint the skies and the seas. Probably that explains why I abused blue the most.” Minhyuk chuckled. He raised his head and locked eyes with Hyunwoo. He watched how Hyunwoo shifted closer to him, a smile plastered on his face.
Minhyuk still couldn’t believe that it has been almost 4 months since he had known Hyunwoo. He couldn’t really deem it as fair to say that Hyunwoo and him are seeing each other. On days that Minhyuk had worked at the cafe, Hyunwoo will be spending most of his time together with Minhyuk when Hyunwoo is not busy. And on days that Minhyuk is away from the cafe, they meet outside, doing things like other couple does.
But still, Minhyuk questioned their relationship. To think of it, none of them had confessed about their feelings. None of them talked about ‘them’ either.
“Even tears and bruises are of blue color. It’s not that romantic as what you think it is.” Hyunwoo said, looking deep into Minhyuk’s eyes. Minhyuk rolled his eyes, knowing that Hyunwoo is probably just teasing him.
“Then let me see you cry. I wanna see if it’s the tone of blue that I love.” Minhyuk replied, pointing the brush towards Hyunwoo.
“Maybe we can see that after I pinch you. We can see if your tears and bruises are in shade of blue.” Hyunwoo muttered and pulled Minhyuk closer to him, tickling him on the waist till Minhyuk lied on the floor laughing.
Minhyuk stared at the drawing on the wall. The falling leaves from the trees, filling up the ground with dead leaves. Minhyuk tilted his head to the side, studying them.
It hits Minhyuk that he didn’t even use any shades of blue today. It’s funny. He had never let go of any shades of blue from his painting before but he did today. He let out a sigh, which was followed by the rumbling sound of the thunder outside. He glanced through the balcony. Seems like he will make his way home under the rain again.
Minhyuk’s hand gripped the brush in his hand hard, turning his knuckles white. Probably he should stop Hyunwoo. Probably he should have tell Hyunwoo how much he needed him, how much he loves him. But no. Minhyuk didn’t. Not even once he told Hyunwoo that he loves him.
It’s funny. Minhyuk never realized that. Not until Hyunwoo is gone. Not until Hyunwoo is not there in the cafe. Not until Hyunwoo no longer his company when he was working on his art.
But Minhyuk understood. He knew everyone has their own dreams. Everyone has the rights to chase over their dreams.
And sadly, Minhyuk is not Hyunwoo’s dream. Probably not now. Or never.
Minhyuk sighed again, for the umpteen time. He dropped the brush into the cup of water, watching how to tone of orange on the brush swirled in the water, in turn turning it yellowish.
He missed the shades of blue. It might not be his favourite color but he missed them. He missed the blue skies, not the grey skies. He missed going to the sea, watching the blue ocean and the sound of the crashing waves by the shores.
But he realized now that blue is not just an ordinary color. Everything links back to Hyunwoo.
And so to say, he misses Hyunwoo.
Minhyuk stood with his hands on his back, biting his lower lips. He was standing right in front of Hyunwoo, who was staring blankly at him, waiting for him to say something. Announcements after announcements were heard over the PA system, about flight delay, about passengers, and some random lost boy.
Minhyuk blinked, eyes slowly dropped to the ground. He couldn’t convey his feelings. He doesn’t know what it is that he is feeling now. He couldn’t really define them.
Soon, Hyunwoo’s flight was announced over the PA system. He saw how Hyunwoo heaved out, looking towards the departure gate.
“I’ll text you when I reach. Once I get the internet connection.” Hyunwoo broke the silence. Minhyuk raised his sight and looked at Hyunwoo again, probably for the last time. Probably never ever again.
“You know, Hyunwoo. When I was young, I really abused the blue crayon. Because I love drawing skies and the seas. But now that I’m an adult, I realized blue is not only about skies and seas but it reflects pain and sadness; tears and the rain.” Minhyuk paused, taking a deep breath.
“And I learn all of those from you. If there are any shades of blue that is my favourite, it will be you.” Minhyuk continued, still biting his lower lips. He earned a smile from Hyunwoo and before Minhyuk could react, Hyunwoo pulled him into his embrace, hugging him tightly. Minhyuk hugged him back, burying his face into Hyunwoo’s shoulder. His scent that Minhyuk had got comfortable with over the months made his heart ruptured.
It will probably be for the last time. Probably never ever again.