Chapter Text
[Davenport has created this thread]
Sol 12
08:01 Davenport: In an effort to lessen Lucretia’s workload and make it easier for her to write about our experiences, I’ve opened this group messaging thread so that we can all share our findings of this new world. This way, Lucretia can choose what to actually write and what to omit, as she will have consistent documentation from all parties. Additionally, we will all be aware of what everyone else is doing, which may be useful for all of us, in case one person’s findings benefits another’s.
08:02 Taako: first
08:02 Magnus: first
08:02 Magnus: dammit
08:03 Taako: too slow, buckaroo ;)
08:03 Davenport: Please, this is strictly for research purposes. If you would like to goof off, please do it elsewhere; perhaps in another group messaging thread or in real life, seeing as how you are both sitting beside each other.
08:04 Davenport: Actually, please keep real life goofing off to a minimum, we can’t take damage to our ship. Also this is a new world and we must remain vigilant.
Sol 24
11:34 Lup: Luce, please make note that today, on our mission to learn more about this Animal Kingdom, Taako fell flat on his face onto literal bull shit
11:35 Barry: It's important that we remember this. For science.
11:38 Lucretia: Got it.
11:42 Taako: fuck all of you
Sol 34
16:31 Taako: things I was expecting: the wild mongooses to love me and make me their king
16:31 Taako: things that happened: the wild mongooses loving barold most
Sol 43
12:18 Lup: All hail our Mongoose King:
12:18 Lup: attached image [image description: Barry asleep on a soft bed of grass, glasses askew, the baby mongoose curled up at his side]
12:20 Magnus: holy shit we can send pictures on this thing???
12:21 Lup: we can now
12:24 Magnus: attached image [image description: blurry selfie of himself with Lucretia, smiling shyly and looking maybe a little uncomfortable]
12:24 Magnus: hell yeah
13:42 Davenport: Just a reminder, folks, this thread is for research purposes.
Sol 61
04:28 Davenport: Why is the fire alarm going off right now
04:28 Barry: Uh
04:29 Lup: Sorry, it's not animal research related so can't talk about it here :)
Sol 75
18:30 Lucretia: Whoever is making dinner, the spaghetti pot is overflowing
18:30 Lup: fuck
18:30 Taako: fuck
Sol 92
02:43 Barry: I do not want to be involved in this prank war
09:02 Barry: I am going to win this prank war
Sol 102
18:46 Magnus: hi, can you guys please stop making sex noises at the dinner table?
18:46 Magnus: I am trying to enjoy my meatloaf
18:47 Lup: Excuse me, I am having a civilized conversation with my brother and co-worker.
18:47 Magnus: maybe have that conversation using actual words then? and not just grunts
18:48 Taako: get ur mind out of the gutter, my dude, it's the language here
18:48 Taako: also r u maybe implying that we can’t be having a civilized conversations sans words?
18:49 Magnus: you’re… just grunting
18:50 Lup: We are *practicing* this world’s language.
18:50 Barry: Really, Magnus, we’ve been here for so long, it’s important that you learn the language and be able to communicate with the other inhabitants of the world.
18:51 Magnus: uhm first of all, that’s bullshit. I’ve been here long enough to recognize what the actual language is
18:51 Magnus: and the shit you’re doing is not the language, you are just fucking with me
18:52 Merle: Calm down, children.
18:52 Taako: lol
18:53 Lup: You’re not our real dad.
18:53 Magnus: YEAH
18:54 Davenport: Guys, please. No stones at the dinner table. And as a reminder, this thread is for professional communications only.
18:55 Davenport: Also, don’t talk to your dad like that.
Sol 128
16:45 Lup: Merle, where are you, we got some unruly plants here you might like
17:01 Lup: Dad.
17:35 Lup: Father.
17:56 Lup: Padre.
17:58 Magnus: bad news, Lup.
17:58 Magnus: *both* of our fathers are gone
18:01 Lup: Oh no!!!! Now who will contribute sarcastic commentary to situations with me
18:02 Magnus: who will play catch with me :(
18:03 Lup: who will tell us that this thread is for research purposes only :(
18:03 Davenport: This thread is for research purposes only.
18:04 Lup: :D Dad!
Sol 143
10:05 Merle: Davenport made a friend
10:05 Merle: attached image [image description: Davenport and a falcon engaged in a staring contest]
Sol 157
13:27 Merle: I have also made a friend
13:27 Merle: attached image [image description: Merle standing beside a tree, throwing up a peace sign, as a giant yellow Burmese python wraps around him]
13:30 Magnus: what the fuck
Sol 179
14:02 Lucretia: Magnus just remembered he brought two months worth of hard candy on this trip
14:11 Lucretia: “Hey wanna see how many of these babies I can fit in my mouth”
14:16 Barry: Magnus, don’t put babies in your mouth
14:18 Lucretia: He’s still doing it
14:20 Lucretia: And now he’s choking.
14:36 Magnus: For anyone curious, it was 56 hard candies
Sol 205
15:47 Merle: Good news: Dav and I found the light!
15:53 Lucretia: That’s great! Where is it?
16:02 Merle: That's the bad news- it’s near the high court, with the power owl and the power wolf and the power bear, and we can't get to it.
16:02 Davenport: It’s okay, though, because we still have time. We just have to figure out a way to get to the light before it’s too late.
16:10 Barry: I mean, Taako, Lup, and I got pretty close to the mongooses, but I don’t think that will do much with the court animals. Thankfully we can communicate with them.
16:12 Magnus: I have an idea.
16:13 Davenport: By all means, please share.
16:13 Magnus: I’m gonna … fucking fight the power bear.
16:14 Taako: … do it
Sol 207
10:56 Taako: so before we leave to watch Magnus get his ass beat, quick question
10:56 Taako: did the mongooses from back home have prehensile penises, asking for a friend