Work Text:
“What?” Steve was staring at him. His perfect hair quivered just a little, but didn’t lose its volume. His hand, which had been drumming across the steering wheel as he waited for Dustin to get out of the car had stopped, frozen in mid beat. “You want me to. To.” He couldn’t seem to get anything else out.
Dustin waited. Finally, when Steve’s eyes started to dart around in panic, he repeated himself. “Teach me. How to kiss.” He enunciated as clearly as he could, but his tongue stumbled a little over the last part, turning it into kith. He winced. So much for being smooth.
Steve’s eyes locked onto Dustin, which, if anything, made him look more panicked. “What.”
“Hear me out.” Dustin held his hands up in a calming gesture. “I.” He pointed at himself. “Have never kissed anyone. And you.” He pointed at Steve. “Have kissed lots of people.”
Steve looked almost offended at that. “What do you mean by a lot?”
“That’s not – that’s not important right now, Steve! Listen to me.” Steve, bless his heart, did appear to be listening. “You have skills. Like, major skills. And you could share that knowledge with me. Consider me,” Dustin was struck by an idea, “your padawan! And you are the vastly more experienced master that I am apprenticed to, and –” Steve was getting a glassy eyed look on his face. “You know what? Never mind. Strike that. That’s, that’s on me. Bad example. Rather –”
Steve raised a hand, stopping Dustin’s monologue. “Wait. Just wait.” He took a deep breath and turned the car engine off.
That was a good sign. Dustin was taking that as a good sign. He had at least fifteen, maybe twenty minutes before he had to go inside. It was a school night, but his mom was usually a little lenient on his curfew, even after all the shit that’d gone down in the past few years. He snuck a quick glance at the living room window, but the curtains were drawn. He turned back to Steve.
Steve opened his mouth to speak. Closed his mouth. Shook his head. He shifted under his seatbelt to face Dustin more fully. “Is this because of Stacey?”
Dustin recoiled. “What? No! I don’t – even – I – who?”
Steve raised an eyebrow. “You’ve been talking about her for years. Not just to me. Just about anyone with ears knows you’ve got a crush on Stacey.”
Dustin tried to look aghast at the notion, but with Steve staring so steadily and calmly at him, he immediately folded. “Yeah, okay, it’s her. It’s because of her.” He sighed, head falling back on the seat. He’d been kinda hoping that Steve would just, well, go with it. But maybe, kinda, sorta, he hadn’t thought too far ahead with his plan. Mostly he’d been focused on working up the nerve to bring it up. Actually arguing the specifics was proving to be a problem.
Dustin tilted his head, carefully stealing a look at Steve. Steve was watching him patiently, wide brown eyes about as far from judgment as you could get. That was one of the reasons Dustin had brought it up to him in the first place. He coulda asked Lucas, who would have laughed at him, and laughed, and laughed, but probably given him some tips. Or Will, who wasn’t dating anyone, and who might have actually kissed him.
But, well. He didn’t really want to kiss Will. He’d rather – he shook his head, frowning, belatedly hot with embarrassment. He fumbled with the seatbelt.
“Look – whatever. I’m stupid, okay? Just forget it.”
“Whoa,” Steve said, hand shooting out to clamp around his wrist. “Hang on. You’re not stupid.”
“I mean.” Dustin stopped trying to get his seatbelt unbuckled. “I kinda am. Right now.” He was glad he was wearing his hat. He could angle his head down and see Steve’s mouth frown, but not have to meet his eyes.
“You’re not stupid. Okay? This stuff – it’s normal to be nervous.”
Steve’s mouth didn’t look like it was lying. “It is?” Because it kinda felt like it wasn’t. Every single person in Dustin’s life was kissing someone, or more than that – heck, Lucas and Max had, last year, which was basically an entire lifetime ago – done it. They hadn’t even been dicks about it. Lucas had brought it up in his bedroom after a couple hours of playing video games and told him gently, like Dustin might throw a fit or start a fight. Dustin had swallowed, a lot, and blinked, a ton, like the sun was setting right into his eyeballs, but. He’d been okay. Ish.
But then Will had done it, skinny pale absentminded Will, and Dustin had point-blank asked Mike if he and Eleven had done it and Mike had gotten all weird in the face and stammered a bunch and he couldn’t lie for shit, not before and even less now. And fine, fine, Dustin was generally okay with not losing his virginity as an ancient sixteen-year-old, though it would totally be awesome to feel his dick in something other than his own fist. But he hadn’t even been kissed yet!
“Yeah. Nobody – and I mean nobody – knows what the hell they’re doing.” Steve’s mouth had gone soft, curling into a little smile. Shit. Maybe it was bad idea to be staring at Steve’s lips.
Steve’s tongue darted out to wet his lips.
Or a good idea. Shit. Shit. Steve was still holding on to his wrist. It made Dustin’s shoulder hurt, twisted in an awkward position, but like hell was Dustin going to say anything.
“I remember my first time. God.” Steve was going into reminiscing mode. He didn’t do it too often, not with Dustin anyways, though Dustin constantly brought up what was going on in school, since he talked too much and school was the majority of his life. But if Steve got a distant look in his face, like when he was getting all nostalgic about the glory years of high school, Dustin would switch to something else, like identifying animals by their feces, and Steve would get all grossed out and try to change topics about something boring, like sports. As long as he got that sad look out of his eyes, Dustin was okay with sports. He could sports. He’d even watched the Super Bowl last year with Steve and his dad, though he hadn’t started paying attention until the Giants had dumped a cooler of Gatorade over their coach, and that turned out to be the end of the game. Whoops.
“Marissa Tander.” Steve’s lips parted, almost in smile. “Super hot. Taller than me.”
“What?” That made Dustin look up, meet Steve’s eyes.
Steve’s half smile slid into a real one. “Yeah, man. Like a foot, too, not a measly couple inches. I had to climb. Really work for it.”
“Oh yeah?” Dustin grinned back. It was so easy just to listen to Steve talk.
Steve snorted. “Yeah, she didn’t meet me halfway, either. Just stood there, all frozen up. Like, nervous, you know?”
“Yeah,” Dustin breathed. This was exactly why he wanted Steve to kiss him. Steve got him. Steve understood. Steve saw beyond the sweaty awkward nerd that was Dustin, and made him feel…cool. Or hot. Right now, Dustin was getting really, really warm, especially where Steve was holding his wrist.
“So anyway I got up there. Had to stand up on my toes, but I did it. Laid one right on her.”
“And?”
Steve’s mouth did a funny little quiver. “It was bad.”
“What?”
“God awful.”
“No.”
“We just smashed our teeth together, like –” Steve went to make a motion with his hands and realized that he was still holding Dustin’s wrist. “Oh, sorry,” he said, dropping it.
“S’okay,” Dustin muttered. He didn’t know what to do with his hand, now, so he tucked it against the curve of his belly, discreetly rubbing his sweaty palms on his shirt.
“Anyways.” Steve seemed to have come to the end of the story. He shook his head, then shoved the hair back from where it flopped into his eyes. “Not that great.”
“Well, that’s.” Dustin fumbled for words, for reason, for logic. Anything. “That’s why you gotta help me!”
Steve looked startled, eyes wide again.
“I don’t want to – to mess it up, you know. What if – what if this is my only chance? I mean, did you and Marissa Tander ever – you know, more than once?”
Steve looked chagrined at that, and Dustin pounced.
“Exactly. If it didn’t work for you, it definitely won’t work for me. I’ll kiss Stacey, it’ll be gross, and she’ll go running.”
Steve’s jaw moved around, like he was trying to chew something large and unwieldy. “I get that you’re nervous – I do!” His hand came out, again, like he was reaching for Dustin’s wrist. Dustin leaned forward in response, and Steve’s hand drifted just a little lower, towards his knee.
“But I’m trying to tell you, that’s how they all are. All first kisses. Are shit.” Steve’s hand traveled back, dropped onto the center console between them.
“But – ”
“Doesn’t matter how good you are.”
Dustin took a deep breath. “Steve –”
“All that matters is you do it. Just go for it and do it and you’ll have kissed Stacey and finally gotten everything you wanted. What’s it been, three years, four years?”
Dustin swallowed, and at Steve’s nodding insistence, nodded back. Steve wasn’t wrong, exactly, but he didn’t – he didn’t have a clue.
Dustin thumped his head back against the seat. He almost wanted to laugh. Steve was staring at him, but he couldn’t look over. Everything seemed upside down. At first Dustin had just wanted some lessons, some information, even theoretical, to absorb and prepare for possible application. Something along the lines of how to turn his head, how hard to press, how long to do it for. Or whatever, it’s not like he knew. TV only got you so far, and Dustin couldn’t exactly creep on his friends – he’d tried, but it was too weird to watch Eleven and Mike kiss, and too…much to watch Lucas and Max, so. So he’d thought, why not Steve? Steve would know. Steve knew everything about being an adult that Dustin didn’t.
But then he’d wanted, through all daydreaming, to feel Steve’s lips pressed against his, to feel Steve, not stupid Stacey who had hardly even spoken to him through all of middle school and high school until she’d gotten dumped a week ago, who didn’t really want Dustin to kiss her.
And now Dustin was just sitting here with Steve, who was always was nice and helpful and kind and funny and made time for Dustin and never treated him like an annoyance – and why the hell he’d ever thought Steve would kiss him, anyways? No one wanted to kiss Dustin Henderson.
“Fine, whatever,” Dustin said, turning towards the car door and adjusting his hat, pulling it down lower. His arms felt cold but his head felt hot, but mostly he just felt stupid, and angry for feeling – for feeling – for feeling anything. At all. “You’ve been great, so helpful, just gonna get out of here, and – forget that this happened. Forget it.” He fumbled again for his seatbelt, and oh god, his eyes were burning. Shit. Shit.
“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Steve said, and it was a repeat of earlier, his hand closing around Dustin’s wrist. But this time Dustin fought him, trying to pull his hand away, while at the same time trying to find the goddamn button on the goddamn seatbelt!
“It’s fine,” Dustin tried to say, his voice doing a funny choke midway through.
“Dustin, c’mon.”
Dustin stopped at the sound of his name, chest heaving. Stupid. He wiped a rough finger across his eyes, keeping his hat low, pretending Steve couldn’t see him. And because Steve was Steve, he pretended he didn’t, too.
After a long moment of Dustin trying to get his breathing under control, Steve sighed.
Dustin looked over at Steve, because he always looked to him. Dustin just wanted – he wanted – just once –
“I’ll do it, okay?”
“What?” Dustin might have hearing problems. “What?”
“This is probably a terrible idea, but.” Steve’s other hand curled over his shoulder, hot and comforting and electric at the same time. Dustin’s heart ratcheted up alarmingly fast.
“You need to calm down, though, okay?”
Steve was asking him a question. Calm? Dustin was something. Calm. He was calm. He managed a single nod.
Steve released him and drew his hands back to unbuckle his own seatbelt. Then, after an unusually searching look from Steve, to which Dustin responded blankly, still unsure as to what was going on, he reached down past Dustin’s body to unbuckle his seatbelt.
“What is happening?” Dustin’s strangled question broke the awkward silence.
Steve smiled a little. “Might be…easier. Don’t want you to be strangled on your first kiss.”
First kiss. They were doing this. Steve was doing this. To Dustin. And Dustin was gonna do something to him. Right? Right?
Shit.
Shit.
Steve must have seen something on his face, because he let loose a little chuckle. “Dude, it’s okay. We already discussed this. Probably not going to be very good, right?”
Dustin let his breath out in something like a laugh, nodding. He was nodding fast. That was too much nodding. Less nodding.
“You okay?” Steve frowned at him.
Dustin didn’t want Steve to have second thoughts. “I’m cool! I’m super cool. I’m like, Terminator cool.” He tried to emphasis his coolness by relaxing back into his seat.
Steve looked briefly puzzled before shrugging it off. “Okay.” He leaned forward, then hesitated. “Are you su– ”
“I’m sure, god, can you just stop with the buildup and do it already?” Dustin should shut up. Dustin should stop talking. Dustin should never talk again.
Steve snorted a laugh, but he thankfully didn’t change his mind.
“Sorry.” Dustin breathed, ducking his head briefly.
“S’okay. Turn a little towards me.”
Dustin twisted until his knees were pointing mostly at the driver’s side compartment. “Like this?” He should probably not continue talking after his last outburst, but sue him. He was a talker. Especially in high-stress situations.
“Good.” But Steve wasn’t moving forward. Steve was staring at him, taking oddly deep breaths.
Dustin waited for him to do something, but the look on Steve’s face was making him feel – weird. A little small, like Dustin was this peculiar thing under a microscope. “Steve?”
Steve took a big breath and shook himself out of it. “Yeah,” he said, offering Dustin a crooked smile. He leaned forward again, his face – lips – getting closer.
Dustin panicked, just a little, and closed his eyes. He felt the firm touch of Steve’s hand on his shoulder, and the slightest brush of fingers against his neck, where his shirt had slipped down. He shivered. The fingers lifted from his shoulder to push his hat up, moving it out of the way. Dustin’s heart was pounding even faster, if possible. He might have a heart attack before Steve’s lips even touched him.
“Dustin,” Steve said, in a low voice with just a touch of amusement.
“Yeah?” Dustin’s own voice was just a touch too high, and he swallowed the urge to clear his throat.
“Gotta meet me halfway, buddy.”
“Oh.” Dustin’s eyes flew open. Steve had one elbow on the console in between them.
Dustin edged forward. It was real, getting realer by the moment. Steve’s hand came back to gently guide him forward, until he was just a centimeter away from ground zero.
Steve’s breath was warm on his face. It made Dustin want to shiver. Dustin gave up and shut his eyes. Steve’s hand gently cupped around his face, tilting his head back, and then –
Warm lips on his. Dustin inhaled sharply, mouth opening automatically. Steve’s mouth was still closed. His hand slid down to press lightly against the bottom of Dustin’s chin. Steve moved back just enough to murmur, “Keep em closed for now.”
Dustin snapped his mouth shut. He quickly forgot to be embarrassed, because Steve was still kissing him, hand sliding along his jawline to the back of his head to press them a little more firmly together. Not hard, just – Dustin could feel the plumpness of Steve’s full lower lip. The longer their lips touched, the more it felt like a hot brand across his skin.
It was good, it was great, it wasn’t enough. He fumbled a hand forward, hand curling against Steve’s bicep. Steve made a small sound, and Dustin tightened his grip, pulling at Steve.
Another low sound dragged out from Steve, something between shock and something else Dustin couldn’t identify, and then he angled his head to the side, pulling back just enough that Dustin knew something else was coming, and something wet slid across his lower lip, into the crease of his lips.
Dustin shuddered, and felt Steve’s lips move into a smile. He pulled back again – don’t go, not yet, Dustin’s fingers protested, tightening into Steve’s shirt – and murmured, “Now open.”
Dustin obediently opened his mouth a tiny bit, learning from his earlier mistake – Dustin was smart sometimes, you see – just enough for Steve’s tongue to slid in and – holy shit. This was it, real kissing, Steve’s tongue hot in his mouth, hot against his tongue. Dustin groaned, and Steve’s hand tightened across the back of his neck, into his hair, pulling down so that Dustin was arching forward, chest pressing awkwardly into the console. Dustin needed to kiss back, wanted to kiss back, what could he do, he couldn’t think of what to do – so he followed Steve’s lead, and when Steve’s tongue made a sweep across his, he curled his tongue back, and Steve made the most pleasant, pleased groan and –
The door slammed. His front door, the door to his house –
Steve shot back from him at the same time Dustin wrenched himself back.
“Honey, are you okay?” His mom’s voice was faint. She was standing outside the door.
Shit.
Steve was staring at him, but not really. His eyes kept drifting down to Dustin’s mouth.
“Honey?” his mom called. Dustin heard the scrape of his mom’s feet against the front step.
Shit.
Dustin scrubbed his wrist across his wet mouth. Steve’s tongue darted out to lick his lips, and Dustin stopped. Was – was Steve – ?
Now his mom’s heels were tapping across the pavement.
SHIT.
He couldn’t let his mom see them both. It was too much, she might know, she might say or do something crazy like invite Steve in for a glass of milk. Dustin scrambled for his seatbelt, realized it was already unbuckled, and scrabbled for the door handle. He lurched, almost falling out the car as it opened, and popped up immediately, car door carefully positioned in front of him.
“Hey mom!”
His mom stopped a few feet away. “Hon, is everything okay? You’ve been sitting out there awhile. Is Steve okay? Hi Steve!” She waved at him.
Dustin spun around and ducked his head to see into the car. Steve was waving sheepishly at his mom. He didn’t look at Dustin.
“Fine! He’s fine. Everything’s fine, mom.”
“Oh.” She nodded. “Okay. Does he want to come in?”
The car started abruptly. “No, I – I think he’s gotta go. You gotta go?” Dustin leaned in to ask him, rather absurdly.
“Yeah,” Steve gave him a lopsided smile. “Sorry.”
“No, no! There’s no sorry! There’s no, um.” Dustin hesitated, then reached down to grab his backpack from the floor. “Um.” Steve tilted his head his way, but his eyes danced around, never quite meeting Dustin’s gaze.
“Thanks,” he finally said, lamely, and Steve nodded, still with that same uneven smile.
“No problem. Uh, good luck. With uh, Stacey.”
Stacey? Ha. Dustin had long ago forgotten about her. “Yeah, um, thanks.”
“Are you sure you don’t want to come in for a hot cocoa?” Dustin’s mom came trotting forward, and Dustin quickly slid back and slammed the car door shut.
“No, mom, we’re good, he’s good, everything’s peachy. Come on, let’s go inside.” He grabbed her arm to guide her inside.
“Okay, honey,” she said, turning with him to head back in the house.
The headlights of Steve’s car flickered on as they walked, illuminating their path and throwing long shadows of their figures onto the house. When they reached the front door, Dustin let his mom in first, turning just in time to see Steve’s car disappear down the driveway and out of view.
Liar, Dustin thought. Steve said it was going to be shit.
He let the door slam shut behind him.