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Though Our Souls May Set in Darkness

Summary:

[End-game spoilers] Unable to sleep, Maki confronts Shuichi on a matter long overdue.

Notes:

Though my soul may set in darkness, it will rise in perfect light;
I have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night.
-- Sarah Williams, “The Old Astronomer to His Pupil”

I had to write something post-canon to get out a few of my many feelings about the night-training trio and the survivor trio (let them be happy, please!) This started with me thinking about a certain talk that I'm convinced would've happened eventually, after their escape.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

The apartment was cramped, with thin walls and only one bedroom. And Himiko was a chronic sleep-talker. The balcony was the only place where Maki could find the peace and quiet to fall asleep at night. Or so she claimed. Never mind that Shuichi had never seen her with her eyes closed when he walked by the sliding glass door on his own sleepless nights. In fact, she was rarely even lying down. Maki Harukawa sitting on her cot, hugging her knees to her chest, her head upturned. He had seen her like that so many times it was almost as if she were a fixture of the place, a painting on the wall. Or a ghost faithfully haunting the balcony at night.

“Oi, Shuichi, what are you thinking! Maki Roll, a g-ghost? C-Cut it out, th-that stuff’s not real! And if it were, there’s no way I’d let it happen to one of you! Because a hero like me will always, definitely, absolutely--”

“Do you want to die?”

Those familiar words, along with the sound of the door sliding open and a warm draft of night air, interrupted the voice only he could hear. And now Maki was blocking his view of what lay beyond the balcony, the view that had so naturally accompanied that voice...

“Ah! Harukawa-san, I’m--”

“Don’t stand behind me like that. It’s creepy. Just come outside.”

The last part took him by surprise. “You mean... join you?”

“If you want. There’s enough room.” She stated it matter-of-fact, neither coercive nor hostile.

So Shuichi stepped onto the balcony, kneeling on one side of the cot. After a moment, Maki returned to her usual position. They sat side by side, now two figures with upturned heads.

The view was back. And from outside, in the silence around them, it was overwhelming. Shuichi spoke without thinking.

“The stars are beautiful.”

Ugh, that must have sounded so corny, he berated himself when she didn’t answer. And then... Oh no, she probably thinks I was trying to make a move on her! Maybe this was a mistake. Maybe I should have stayed inside.

But the stars...

Maki sighed. “I knew it.”

“Wait Harukawa-san, I’m sorry! I didn’t mean it like that! I was just-- I was thinking about...” He trailed off, unable to finish as two tears from his eyes hit the bedding.

“I knew,” she repeated, “that I wasn’t the only one who fell for him.”

Shuichi froze.

He took a deep breath. In and out. Maki hadn’t misread his words after all.

He froze again. She knew.

“... Hah.” His shoulders trembled as a weak laugh escaped him.

“It wasn’t hard to figure out. You were more obvious than I was.”

“Wh-what?! No offense, Harukawa-san, but you were pretty ob... No, what I mean is, um... does it bother you?”

She shook her head. “No. It’s not that.”

“So something has been bothering you?”

“I...” Maki balled her hair in her fists, furrowing her brow. “I thought I’d be able to sleep better out under the stars, but I can’t. And I realized it’s because of you. I see you pacing and looking out here on nights like this. It’s like I can’t sleep because you can’t sleep, because we both feel the same way. You get it?”

He didn’t, not entirely. More like he couldn’t quite believe it. “Are you saying I should try sleeping out here, too?”

“Yes. I think you want to.”

“But is that okay with you?”

Maki sighed again. “I told you I know we felt the same way about him. And you... you’re different from him, but... you’re also important to me. So it’s not just okay. It’s what’s right. You have a place here, Saihara.” She gripped his hand in hers and looked up at the sky. “With us.”

* * *

Nyeeeeehhhh?! What happened out here?!”

Shuichi bolted upright, blinking in the harsh morning sun. It took him a second to remember why it was so bright. And why Himiko had a good reason to be yelling. It was an awkward awakening, but he hoped an explanation would smooth things over quickly.

“Good morning, Yumeno-san. Did you sleep well?”

“I slept just fine, thanks, and you guys better have too! I’m not ready to be a grandmother!”

That made Shuichi laugh, in spite of himself. “All we did was talk. And...” he sighed wistfully at the memory from mere hours ago, “watch the stars.”

Realization seemed to dawn on Himiko and her face grew solemn. “Oh...”

“Don’t worry. I think from now on we’ll be sleeping better than before.”

Himiko immediately perked up. “Wow, you’re right! Harukawa’s sleeping really well right now!”

Shuichi followed her gaze to the girl lying beside him on the cot. Her eyelids were tinged with red, but her breathing was deep and even, and her slightly-parted lips showed the hint of a smile.

“Yeah,” he said. “She is.”

Notes:

TFW you play the English release of the game with the Japanese audio and don’t know which names to use for the characters in your fic. I compromised between the narration and dialogue? I dunno if it was the best choice, but it felt the most natural when I was writing it.