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Chapter Text

“Hold the elevator!” Maggie Sawyer calls out as she jogs across the apartment building’s lobby towards the one of the two elevators that are just about to close.

A foot kicks out between the two doors and with a ding, they slide open again and when Maggie sees who is in the elevator already,she smiles.

“Thanks,” she says to her across-the-hall neighbor, stepping in next to her, and even though it’s already pressed,she presses the illuminated button for the fourth floor again and the doors slide shut.

“You’re getting home early,” Alex Danvers comments with a smile, noting the NCPD badge still clipped to one of Maggie's belt loop.

“Actually, I’ve been working for the past twenty-four hours. I got talked into working a double,”she answers, biting back a yawn at just the thought. “Do you need some help?”she asks and then without waiting for her to refuse or accept, Maggie plucks the two paper brown grocery bags that Alex is trying to hold with one arm.

“Thank you,” Alex smiles and she lets out a sigh. She then immediately wraps her now free arm around the small bundle in her other arm, holding her more securely.

Olivia Danvers, recently turned fifteen-months old, scrunches her nose but remains asleep, resting her face against the crook of her mommy’s neck.

“She’s out of it,” Maggie observes, smiling at the baby.

“Grocery shopping always takes it out of her,” Alex rubs a hand down her back.

Maggie looks at the young woman standing next to her as she gently rocks herself from side to side, humming a soft tune to her sleeping daughter. She thinks the same thing she thought six months earlier when she moved into the apartment across from hers.

Alex Danvers is so damn beautiful.

“I’m glad I ran into you two,” Maggie says, now speaking quietly so not to disturb Olivia. She shifted both bags into one arm so she can reach into her coat pocket.

“What did you do?” Alex gives her a look.

“I saw this and I couldn’t help-”

“You have to stop doing this, Maggie,” she shakes her head. Maggie ignores her and pulls out a small stuffed elephant and sees Alex smile faintly. “It’s adorable.”

She smiles, too, and Alex takes it from her. She looks down at Olivia and then she lifts her eyes to look into Maggie's. Her eyes are so big and brown and she always has such a hard time staring into them for so long.

“Thank you,” she says softly, still staring into her eyes and Maggie wonders how she does it because she can't remember ever being fascinated with a woman’s eyes.

The elevator dings as it arrives on the fourth floor and the doors slide open. Maggie steps to the side, gesturing for Alex to step off first and she follows her. They walk down the hallway, side by side, and when they turn the corner, Maggie stops abruptly.

“Fuck,”she swears under her breath. “Sorry,”she then says, looking to Alex.

“It’s alright,” she gives her a faint smile. “She can’t hear you. I can take the bags-”

“I’ve carried them this far,” Maggie shakes her head.

Alex nods, still looking at her closely, and they continue walking down the hallway towards their apartment doors.

“Finally!” A blonde woman pushes herself off from leaning against Maggie’s door.

Alex glances to Maggie and Maggie sighs heavily, not able to look at her.

“Darla,”she says instead, looking to the woman who had clearly been waiting for her. She suddenly wished she had worked a triple at the precinct.

“Took you long enough. The precinct is right across the street. How does it take you so long to get home?” Darla asks.

Maggie doesn’t answer.

Alex pulls her keys from the pocket of her leather jacket and holding Olivia with one arm, she unlocks her door. She turns and opens her mouth to say something but Maggie gently pushes past her into her apartment before she can. She goes to the kitchen and carefully sets the bags down on the counter. She turns to Alex and rubs the back of her neck, watching as she goes into the living room and carefully places Olivia down in the bassinet next to the couch.

Maggie is stalling, not wanting to leave the apartment and go to hers but she knows that if she keeps Darla waiting for any longer, she will have no problem coming in here and the last thing Alex needs is Darla in her home.

Maggie watches as Alex takes off Olivia’s shoes and then carefully removes her coat and beanie hat and then she covers her with a purple fleece blanket. One corner of Maggie’s mouth twitches when she put the stuffed elephant in the bassinet next to her and then gives her a soft kiss on her forehead.

“Do you need anything else?” Maggie asks as Alex comes back into the kitchen.

“You shouldn’t keep her waiting,” Alex says with a soft smile. “Thank you for everything, Maggie.”

Maggie lingers. “Any time,” Alex nods.

The detective hesitates for another moment and Alex smiles at her as she reaches into the bags to begin to unpack the groceries.

“Maggie!” Darla shouts from the hallway.

She winces and without a word, she leaves Alex’s apartment and closes the door behind her, not wanting Darla to wake Olivia.

She gets rid of Darla within ten minutes and takes a long shower to relax her sore body. After changing into a pair of yoga pants and a fresh tee-shirt, she goes into the kitchen to see if she has anything fresh to eat. She is exhausted and after working twenty-four hours straight, she knows she should collapse into bed but right now, her stomach grumbling is a bigger priority to her.

Pouring a bowl of cereals, she goes into her living room and sinks down into the couch. She turns on the television and smirks when she sees that the station is turned onto the Disney channel. She had watched Olivia a couple of days ago for a few hours as a favor to Alex when she had picked up an extra shift at the hospital just on the corner of their block where she worked.

She isn’t sure what it is about those two Danvers girls across the hall.

Normally, she can’t stand babies. They look like blobs to her who do nothing but cry and crap themselves. And single lesbian moms, she avoids them as if they have an incurable strand of the plague. They are desperate, looking for babysitters and mommies for their babies and Maggie wants nothing to do with any of that.

So she has rules for herself when it comes to babies and single moms and fresh-off-the-boat lesbians and they are very simple. Stay the hell away from both of them. She doesn’t have many rules in her life but the ones she does enforce upon herself, she thinks they are very important.

But since moving into this apartment across the hall from Alex Danvers and her baby daughter, her opinion has started to change.

At least about those two.

She certainly wouldn’t mind if Alex Danvers knocked on her door more.

“Gotcha!”

Alex laughs as Olivia pops up from behind the kitchen chair, giggling.

“I found you,” Alex says, scooping Olivia up in her arms and kissing her cheek.

“Find!” Olivia repeats, still giggling, and Alex carries her over to her high chair.

“Are you hungry?” Alex asks, setting her down.

“Yes!” Olivia exclaims and Alex kisses her again before going to the refrigerator. A knock on the door interrupts her though and she goes to see who it is.

When she peeps through the eyehole and sees her across-the-hall neighbor on the other side of the door, she takes a step back and inhales and exhales a deep breath. She knows she shouldn’t but her stomach can’t seem to help but flutter at the sight of her. Maggie is ridiculously good looking and Alex always has to remind herself to not act like a complete idiot around her. Always easier said than done.

It’s hard though because Maggie is always so kind to them; far exceeding the “good neighbor” expectations that she could possibly ever have. She babysits Olivia for her when she picks up an extra shift at the hospital and sometimes, when she cooks herself dinner, she always just happens to have made too much and brings some to her and she has this habit of buying stuffed animals for Olivia. She has no less than eight from their neighbor. Not to mention, she has become one of her closest friends, for the past six months.

Alex doesn’t have many friends, besides her sister Kara and her high school best friend Lucy, who both unfortunately live across the country.

Maggie is authentic and straightforward and had a crucial role helping Alex about her own homosexuality.

She had planted a seed of doubt in Alex’s mind about her feeling towards men and her rejection of intimacy. Thanks to Maggie, Alex discovered there wasn’t anything wrong about her, and for the first time in her life, she made peace with herself, being finally happy in her own skin.

She is gay. Everything makes sense now.

Honestly, even though she discovered she is lesbian, between her job as surgical resident at the hospital and being a mom, she doesn’t have a lot of time to date and meet women. And she doesn’t want to.

Alex has to admit she is too fascinated by Maggie, who is strong and smart and gorgeous and she suspects she kind of fell a little for her. But she is too coward to express her feeling, especially because of Olivia.

So she always tries to control herself.

There is no way a woman like Maggie would ever be interested in a twenty-seven year old single mom and that Darla woman seems to always be over at her place.

Alex takes another deep breath and finally unlocks the door, smiling. “Hey.”

“Maggie!” Olivia shouts from her highchair when she sees it’s her at the door.

Maggie smiles. “Hi,”she holds up a plate with rice, stir-fried beef and broccoli. “I made too much.”

Olivia is her entire world.

When she found out she was pregnant, Alex was surprised and scared.  

Three years before, after receiving her medical degree and the death of her father, she felt completely lost and unsatisfied.

So, she practically had thrown her life away, beginning to live dangerously and senselessly, having too many drinks and risky sex with strangers she met in clubs and bars. Her hard-partying and heavy drinking was a way to cope with her latent homosexuality and the loss of her father. Thankfully, after a night of drinking and clubbing led to a DUI and her arrest, John Jones, a close friend and colleague of her father, visited her in jail, rescuing her and offering her to join National City Grace Hospital and apply for their surgical residency program.

Alex accepted and Dr. Jones has been a mentor and a paternal figure for her, since that first unconventional meeting.

But becoming a surgical resident wasn’t the only big change in her life, since two months later she discovered she was pregnant.  

Alex didn’t expect it, at all.

It certainly wasn’t something planned, and Alex didn’t know who Olivia’s father actually was, but she didn’t care.

She was a new person, focused on her future and with the purpose of becoming a surgeon, and even if a kid wasn’t something she planned she was excited to become a mom.

Alex has to admit it had been hard, but Kara, Lucy, John and her mother Eliza helped her a lot.

When Olivia was born, Alex cried and laughed and didn’t want the nurses to take her away once she was placed in her arms. She named her Olivia and since then, her life has never been the same. It’s been so much better. She truly is the best thing she has done, so far.

She loves Olivia so much and at night, she dreams of one day being able to buy them both a house with a yard and maybe give her some siblings as well.

Maggie is a workaholic.

Being a hard-working and tough woman she joined the police force and quickly raised to the rank of detective, at a very young age. After working for almost two years in Gotham, she was later transferred to National City Police Department Science Division.

She loves her job and she likes National City a lot. Almost always sunny and with a temperate climate, it’s so different from both Gotham and Blue Spring, the small and narrow minded town in Nebraska where she was born. National City is a big metropolis where people accept all kind of differences and don’t mind about your race, your religion or your sexuality.

She must admit she doesn’t have so many friends there, though.  

When Maggie first arrived in National City, she had hooked up with a lot of women, including Darla. She hasn’t done anything like that though in a few months. It hasn’t interested her.

Eventually, they stop trying. The only one who still does try is Darla and no matter how many times Maggie tells her that nothing is going to happen between them, she can’t take the hint. Maggie cringes every time someone knocks on her door. And she tries not to think about why but she really hates when Alex hears Darla knocking on her door.

The truth is that Maggie doesn’t trust easily and doesn’t like to talk about herself and her life, mainly out of fear of being rejected for who she is. A non-white, non-straight girl.

Besides that, after being rejected by her parents because of her homosexuality when she was fourteen years old, she became very closed off to those around her.

But then Alex knocks on her door and Olivia is holding her hand, bouncing on her feet, and they wonder if she wants to go to the pier with them. And on the observation deck, Maggie pays a quarter for Olivia to look through the binoculars and she holds her tightly around the waist and Alex laughs as Olivia lets out a gasp from the view.

And Maggie can have a tough personality, but once you crack down her walls, she’s a cinnamon roll. And she simply adores those Danvers girls.

Alex helped her heal and overcome her fear of being rejected and, on the other hand, Maggie has been very supportive of Alex herself, as she gradually came to terms with being a lesbian.

“Mommy,” Olivia claps her hands and beams up at Alex and Alex laughs, flopping down on the bed in her bedroom, and Olivia immediately flops back, too, mirroring her actions.

Alex’s bed hasn’t been made that day and Olivia has slept with her the night before. There are toys and stuffed animals and a Disney movie on the television. It is her day off from the hospital and it is raining outside and Alex wants to spend the entire day with her daughter.

“What do you think about baking today, Ollie?” Alex asks.

“Cake!” Olivia exclaims.

“Let’s go look at the books,” Alex stands up from the bed but before she can help Olivia down, she scrambles down, tripping but picking herself up and scurrying out of the room on slightly unsteady legs.

Alex smiles, following her into the kitchen. Olivia plops down on the floor in front of the microwave cart where on the bottom shelf, Alex has her pastry books lined.

“Mommy!” Olivia exclaims, grunting as she grabs hold of one and tries to tug it out.

Alex smiles and is about to go to her but someone knocks on her door.

Her smile somehow doubles in size when she opens it to Maggie.

“Hi,” she wonders why she sounds so breathless at the sight of her.

“Hey,”she smiles back. “I was about to go get something to eat and I was wondering if you and Olivia wanted to come.”

“Maggie!” Olivia shouts from inside the apartment and then there is a tiny patter of feet and the little girl stands next to Alex, hugging her leg.

For fifteen-months-old, Olivia can only say a handful of words – and many baby gargle words – and Maggie isn’t going to lie. She loves that her name is part of her “human” vocabulary.

Alex smiles at her and puts a hand on Olivia’s head of matching dark hair and looks to Maggie. “Actually, we were going to start baking something. Do you want to join us?” She asks but she has no idea why. She has completely surprised herself.

Maggie hesitates and she wishes she could take the invitation back. Of course she doesn’t want to stay. Eating lunch with them for an hour is much different than being in her apartment, baking for a few.

But then Maggie smiles. “I would love to.”

Olivia sits on the floor and flips through the dozens of baking books Alex owns, babbling to herself as she looks at all of the pretty pictures of the cakes.

“Mommy!” Olivia exclaims, pointing to one in particular.

“That one, baby?” Alex asks and Olivia nods.

“Cake!”

“What’s the winner?” Maggie asks as Alex takes the book from Olivia.

“I can do this one with my eyes closed. Brownies with chocolate frosting,” she sets the book down and begins pulling pans and bowls from the cabinets.

Alex can’t cook. But since she was a little girl, she has always loved to bake.

“Wow,” Maggie can’t help but say when she pulls a container from the pantry filled to the brim with chocolate bars. “You make your own frosting?”she asks.

Alex’s eyes widen as if the very question offends her. “I’m going to pretend you didn’t just ask that,” she shakes her head and Maggie’s lips twitch in a smile. “And you don’t know it but you’ve just volunteered to help me make that frosting.”

Alex loves birds and colors and her apartment – though the same layout as Maggie’s across the hall – is completely different.

Maggie’s apartment is designed in neutral colors: tans and whites, grays and blacks. There isn’t much color anywhere. Alex’s, on the other hand, is nothing but color. Her couch is turquoise with pillows – each a different color. Nothing in her kitchen seems to match one another. So much brightness and color and there are plates that she has hung on the walls – each with a different bird designed on it. The shower curtain in her bathroom has bluebirds printed on it and the sheets on her bed also have a bird design.

Maggie wonders why she loves birds so much.

She asks if she needs help and Alex tells her she’ll let her know when she is ready to make the frosting.

As she makes the batter, Maggie sits on the purple floor rug with Olivia and listens as she talks to herself as she combs the fur of one of the teddy bears she has bought her and Moana is on the television.

“Here, Maggie,” Alex suddenly is there, handing her a glass of wine while taking a sip from her own in her hand.

Maggie gets to her feet. “Thank you,”she takes the glass from her and takes a sip. “Are you sure you don’t need any help?”

Alex shakes her head, smiling. “Baking and a glass of wine on a Sunday afternoon is the perfect day in my mind.”

“This is great,” Maggie agrees and she looks to her and then to Olivia and then to her again. Alex is wearing sweatpants and a sweatshirt that’s too big for her. She looks so beautiful.

The company is the best Maggie’s had in such a long time.

Olivia looks just like her mom with auburn brown hair, big brown eyes and pale skin and she giggles and smiles and Maggie smiles, too, as she shows her how to brush her stuffed animals. She doesn’t have too many dolls and seems to prefer stuffed animals – especially the ones Maggie has bought her. That makes her smile, pleased.

She has taken her mom’s empty shoe boxes and each stuffed animal has their own. Olivia babbles to herself as she places each one into their own box and she covers them with tissue blankets, tucking them in. She then goes to the bookcase next to the television where her picture books are on the bottom shelf. She comes back to Maggie and plops herself down in front of her and hands her the book.

She looks at Olivia and she holds onto her feet in front of her as she rocks back and forth, smiling a toothy smile at her, and Maggie smiles, too.

Maggie decides that if Alex is going to bake them dessert,she is going to cook them dinner.

She goes across the hall to her apartment and returns a little while later with chicken breasts, wild rice and carrots. Alex helps her set the table and she lifts Olivia up into her high chair and the three sit down at Alex’s kitchen table.

“How did you become such a good cook?” She asks, gently feeding Olivia the food.

“I learnt to take care of myself at a very young age,”she answers. “I knew I couldn’t live on fast food for my entire life so I just taught myself. When did you start baking?”

“It was something my dad always did and I was six and I declared I wanted to bake, too,” Alex smiles at the memory. “And since my first batch of chocolate chips cookies, I was hooked and my dad was so happy about it. Just another thing we used to do together, besides surfing and talking about science.”

“Nerd,” Maggie teases her with a smirk.

She smiles and pretends to be busy feeding Olivia more rice.

Alex insists Maggie takes half of the brownies back to her apartment with her.

“You should give up your medical career and open a bakery instead,” Maggie jokes.

Alex’s cheeks color and she smiles faintly, shrugging. “I’m just happy that I’m guaranteed to have you as a customer when I finally open it, then.”

Maggie smiles and leans in, perhaps a bit too close. She blames the wine. She can see the freckles on Alex’s nose and the blush of her cheeks deepen.

“You can even put me to work if you want,”she tells her. “I make a pretty good chocolate frosting. So I’m told.”

Maggie smiles as Alex giggles and she leans in a bit too close, too.

Maggie thinks she wants to kiss her.

But then she hears Olivia from over the baby monitor in her room and she looks at Alex and she pulls her head away quickly.

Too quickly.

Her head does a slight spin.

Maggie looks at her. She can’t. She’s a mom and she is a fresh-off-the-boat gay. And Maggie has a rule about moms and baby lesbians.

“Good night,” she says softly and she doesn’t miss the disappointment in Alex’s eyes.

Chapter Text

Alex wishes Maggie had kissed her even though she knows it’s completely ridiculous to wish for such things.

After she left, she checks on Olivia, slowly drifting off to sleep in her crib, and then she goes into the kitchen to clean up from dinner and baking. Once that’s done, she tries to lie on the couch and read a medical journal but she can’t concentrate enough to focus and actually register the words in front of her.

She eventually gives up and goes into her room to get herself ready for bed.

She tells herself that she has read too much into it.

She tells herself that there is no way Maggie ever would have kissed her.

But as she crawls in between the sheets of her bed, she can’t stop thinking of her eyes and the way she had looked at her. She doesn’t think anyone has ever looked at her the way that Maggie did.

She calls herself crazy and tries to drift off to sleep.

“You okay?” Megan Mortz asks as they take their trays and sit down at one of the tables in the precinct cafeteria. Megan is one of her colleagues and the closest thing to a friend, besides Alex, Maggie has in National City.

“Why do you ask?” Maggie unscrews the cap of her water bottle.

Megan shrugs, stabbing a tomato from her salad but not eating it. “You just seem weird today. Everything alright?”

Maggie doesn’t say anything and takes a bite of her bagel. She doesn’t know what to say. She doesn’t know how to explain it to Megan mainly because she doesn’t know how to explain it to herself.

She had almost kissed Alex. She had really wanted to kiss her but she had heard Olivia and she had stopped himself. Alex is a mom and she can’t. Maggie just can’t.

Maggie has dated a couple of single moms in the past and she always regretted it. They were just looking for her to be another motherly figure to their child and Maggie had never wanted that. She doesn't want kids.

She knows this about a lot of single moms from past experience and she knows that Alex isn’t like that. She knows the last thing she is looking for is another parental figure for Olivia. She is such a fucking great mom and she doesn’t need anyone to help her or tell her what to do. She is raising her daughter the best she can and Olivia is an amazing kid. Alex will probably punch her if she ever tries to tell her what to do.

Not to mention Maggie can't have a relationship with someone who just came out as it never has a good ending. But even from this point of view Alex is so different from any other fresh-off-the-boat lesbian she has ever met. She is fierce and strong, and didn't come out only because she wanted to explore new things.

So why didn’t she kiss her?

Olivia won’t stop crying and touching her ear and Alex bounces her in her arms, trying to get her to stop, kissing her and stroking her hair and murmuring soft words. She’s pretty sure everyone waiting in the emergency room with them hates them right now. Few people have the tolerance for a crying baby.

She stands up, hoisting Olivia up in her arms, and she takes her phone from the pocket of her lab coat.

Alex has been working a late shift at the hospital when they called her from the daycare at the ground floor, saying that her daughter wasn't feeling well.

She immediately left everything and now is waiting for her turn in the emergency room. Apparently, being a doctor in the same hospital dosn't mean she is gonna receive a special treatment. And she is too worried to visit Olivia herself.

She feels alone and scared, John is in New York for a conference, and she calls the only person who can help her.

“Maggie, thank God you picked up. I'm at the emergency room with Olivia, she isn't well and I am so scared. I was wondering if you-” Alex rambles, hearing loud noises in the background.

Olivia is still crying and she keeps rocking her, trying to soothe her pain.

“Maggie is actually busy at the moment,” a female voice interrupts her ranting and Alex gasps, recognizing her as the woman who is always knocking on Maggie’s door. Darla. “I'll tell her you called, bye.”

Olivia wails and Alex rubs her back, staying rooted to the spot. She doesn't know what she expected. She feels stupid and naive and almost wants to cry herself as she listens to her daughter. Of course, Maggie is having fun and she doesn't have time for her and her annoying problems.

Alex takes a deep breath and closes her eyes. She doesn't need anyone, she has to be strong for Olivia. That's the only thing that truly matters.
So, she goes to a corner of the room, rubbing Olivia’s back, trying to give her some small comfort.

Maggie has been at bar for the past two hours, drinking and playing pool.

She wanted to forget about Alex, Olivia and her feelings towards her. Apparently, she can't.

“Maggie,” Darla smiles when she approaches the counter, wanting a beer, and she sees the blonde has her phone between her hands.

“Give it to me, Darla,” she frowns and Darla rolls her eyes, handing her her iPhone.

Maggie scrolls through her phone, seeing there was a call from Alex.

“What did you do?” She almost barks.

“You should thank me, indeed,” Darla replies, smirking. “I actually saved you from a boring night at the hospital. She was rambling about emergency rooms and that whining daughter of hers not feeling well and-”

“WHAT?” Maggie frowns and is obviously pissed.

“Come on, you were here having fun and-”

“Don’t do that again, ever. You have no right to answer my calls and interfere into my life,” she says. “Stay out it.”

Darla opens her mouth to say something but Maggie turns and walks away. She doesn’t want to hear it.

Three hours later, they are finally home and Olivia is sleeping, completely exhausted. Alex carries her to her bedroom and lays her down in her crib, kissing her on the head and covering her with her blankets.

She is exhausted herself and goes to take a quick shower. She hates hospital smell and she wants to take it off of her.

She has changed into comfortable black yoga pants and a gray tee-shirt and she rubs a towel over her hair as she goes to check on Olivia, still sleeping. There is a knock on the door and she goes to answer it, looking at the time. It’s almost 2 am, and there is only one person who would come and visit her so late.

“Maggie,” her stomach immediately twists.

“How is she?” She asks and for a moment, Alex doesn’t understand. “I heard about Olivia. I was at the bar and somehow forgot my cell on the counter.”

Alex frowns, her brow wrinkled. “I called you but your girlfriend answered and said you were busy.”

It’s Maggie’s turn to frown. “Girlfriend?”

“Darla,” she thinks it’s odd that she has to tell her that.

“She is not my girlfriend,” Maggie is still frowning. “I'm sorry.”

Alex shrugs.

“How is she?”

“She has an inner ear infection and I have some drops to give her every few hours,” she steps aside so Maggie can enter. “She’s sleeping but I need to wake her for the drops. You can help me, if you want to.”

“Of course,” Maggie nods and follows her down the hallway to the baby’s room and Alex leans into the crib, rubbing Olivia’s back and gently rousing her from sleep.

“Hey, Ollie,” Alex says softly and Olivia’s tired eyes blink open.

“Hi Vee,” Maggie greets her as Alex picks her up and gently sits her down onto the changing table.

“I know you’re sick of being poked today but I just want to look in your ear, okay?”

Olivia, still half asleep, nods.  Maggie rubs her back while Alex gently peers into one ear and then into the other one using her otoscope.

Once she examined her, Maggie helps Alex give the drops, and then they put Olivia back in the crib where the baby, still exhausted, falls almost immediately to sleep again.

“I’m sorry,” Maggie says again as they leave the nursery and walk back to the living room.

“For what?” Alex frowns, confused once more.

“She’s not my girlfriend and I wasn’t busy and if I knew you and Olivia were at the hospital, I would have been there. You called me,” she says, staring right at her.

Alex doesn’t say anything to that. She doesn’t know what to say. Maggie is so kind to Olivia and to her, too, but maybe only because she is Olivia’s mom. She feels stupid now, having finally realized it. So that’s what she didn’t kiss her. She just isn’t interested.

Alex nods her head ever so slightly, having difficulty keeping her eyes with hers.

“She’s not my girlfriend,” Maggie then feels the need to tell her again.

“You don’t need to explain,” she takes a step back from her. Maggie is warm and smells too good and Alex just needs a little space between them. “Thank you for checking up on us.” She forces herself to look at her as she speaks.

She is staring at her and goes a minute without saying anything.

“Don’t do this,” Maggie shakes his head.

Alex feels her eyes widen. “Don’t do what?”

“This. Don’t do this. I don’t have that many friends and you’ve become one of my close ones and I don’t want you to be awkward around me,” Maggie tells her in a firm voice, staring at her.

“I, I’m not awkward,” she stutters. “This is how I always act around you.”

“Darla is not my girlfriend,” she says for the third time.

“You’ve said that already. Multiple times. I get it,” Alex crosses her arms over herself and takes another step back from her. “Why do you think I care about that?”

“Don’t you?” Maggie tilts his head slightly to the side, studying her.

“You’re giving me a headache,” Alex admits. “And I’m really tired after today.”

Maggie stares at her for another minute and then she nods her head ever so slightly. She wants to say something else – Alex can tell – but she doesn’t know what to say.

“Get some sleep,” she eventually says as she goes to the door. “And you’ll come get me if you need anything?” She looks back at her as she opens the door.

Alex nods but doesn’t know what to say either.

Alex knows she needs to get over herself.

So Maggie doesn’t have feelings for her. So what? She has known plenty of people in her life who haven’t been attracted to her.

And what she said to her – about her being her friend – she feels the same towards her. She is her friend and she has been such a good friend and she doesn’t want to lose that.

Maggie had almost kissed her but had stopped, not wanting that kiss to ruin things. Alex can’t be upset about that. She should be thankful.

Alex smiles as she answers the knocking, opening the door to Maggie standing there.

“Morning,” she smiles.

“Good morning,” she steps aside and invites her in.

“I brought breakfast,” Maggie holds up a box and a cup tray, holding three cups.

“Maggie!” Olivia exclaims from the living room and she pushes herself up to come toddling over.

“Hey, pretty girl,” she smiles. Maggie sets the bag and tray down and bends down, scooping Olivia up in her arms. She is still in her pajamas and her hair has been parted into two pigtails. “How are you feeling?” She asks. It’s been a week and she seems as good as new.

“It doesn’t seem to be bothering her at all anymore,” Alex smiles. “She made something for you.”

“You did?” Maggie smiles.

Olivia giggles and nods and Maggie sets her down on her feet again. She toddles off and Maggie looks to Alex. It is Sunday and as always, it’s her day off from the hospital.

Over the past few days, things seemed to have gone back to normal between them.

She doesn’t know if she’s happy about that or not.

“I brought two coffees and a cup of orange juice for Olivia. I know how much she loves it. And I feel terrible bringing anything baked to you but I saw these and had to get them,” she says and she smiles as she reaches into the bag. “Blueberry muffins and fluffy chocolate croissants,” she carefully sets it down on the counter.

“Oh, they're beautiful,” Alex almost gasps and she smiles. “I love them. Thank you.”

“Maggie!” Olivia exclaims, coming back into the kitchen.

She is holding a piece of paper. It's torn from one of her coloring books and is scribbled in seemingly every crayon from her box.

“Is this for me?” Maggie asks, grinning broadly.

Olivia nods again and Maggie crouches down and  kisses her on the forehead. “I love it, sweetheart. Thank you. I’m going to frame this and hang it right in my office.”

Olivia giggles and beams as if she completely understands and Maggie wraps her arms around her in a hug, lifting her up, and her tiny arms circle around her neck.

“Hey, I brought dinner,” Maggie smiles.

“I actually cooked tonight,” Alex steps aside and lets her into the apartment.

“Maggie!” Olivia grins from her highchair.

“Hey, Vee. I heard your mommy cooked tonight,” she smiles.

“Want to live dangerously?” Alex jokes, setting another plate down at the table.

“Definitely,” Maggie leaves the pizza box on the counter and unzipping her leather jacket, she sits down at the table and Alex brings a casserole dish over, setting it down in the middle. “Smells good.”

“Baking is so precise and exact and cooking is more… pinch of this, dash of that. I had no idea what I was doing,” Alex admits, laughing a little. “But I need to learn. I can’t raise my daughter on chocolate chip cookies and frozen dinners.”

It is a chicken and rice casserole with mixed vegetables and topped with cheese. Maggie takes the spoon Alex hands her and she helps herself to a hearty portion. Alex sits down across from her and scoops some rice and mixed vegetable onto a small plate for Olivia. She seems to almost be petrified as Maggie takes her first bite.

“It’s amazing, Danvers,” she smiles at her and Alex lets go a breath she has been holding.

“Thank God,” she laughs and Maggie smiles wider.

Maggie watches her as she eats and helps Olivia eat and this is so intimate. Just being there, eating dinner together as a real family. Maggie has a strange feeling in her stomach and she wants to tell Alex that she’s different from any woman she has ever met – single mom or not.

“This is really good,” she says instead and Alex smiles, looking quite proud of herself, and Maggie smiles, too.

Damn, she’s beautiful.

“I don’t get it,” Megan admits after Maggie has told her everything.

“It’s not that hard to understand, Megan,” Maggie sighs, almost impatiently.

“Yes, it is. It makes absolutely no sense,” she shakes her head. “So she has a kid. So she came out just some months ago. So what? You just told me you like her and the kid so it’s kind of a win-win situation.”

“I don’t date moms, neither baby lesbians,” Maggie reminds her.

“You’re an idiot,” Megan shakes her head again.

It’s Saturday and though she has been working all day, Alex hasn’t seen Olivia as she’s been with the sitter and she doesn’t care how tired she is. She wants to spend the rest of the day with her daughter.

First, she takes Olivia to the library where there is a children’s story hour every Saturday afternoon. Olivia absolutely loves it and they sit on the floor with the other parents and children and Olivia sits in her lap, listening intently. Her father used to read stories constantly to Alex and Kara, and Alex wants to do that with her own daughter.

Then, they go to a cupcake bakery down the street. They gaze at all of the cupcakes through the glass display cases and they eventually choose a chocolate raspberry cupcake and they sit at one of the tables next to the window and indulge. Alex knows she shouldn’t feed her daughter such sweets and so much sugar but she definitely believes in spoiling and treating oneself and though she jokes with Maggie about it, she certainly doesn’t let Olivia eat like this every day.

They then head home and watch Disney movies and play with Olivia’s toys and every Saturday night, after they are both changed into their pajamas, Olivia sleeps with Alex in her bed and she falls asleep as her mommy reads one of her books.

Maggie tries not to think about it but she apparently loves to torture herself.

Alex is beautiful and smart and kind. She is badass and strong, being able of raising a daughter while finishing her residency and she she is a great mom.

Maggie thinks of Megan’s confusion as to why Alex being a mom bothers Maggie so much. Especially when she likes Alex and Olivia both a lot.

She isn’t so sure anymore about her utter rejection of kids. And she can’t help but wonder about Alex meeting someone interested in her. Someone who isn’t bothered by her being a mom, or a baby lesbian.

What if Alex starts to date? What if Olivia learns to say this woman’s name, too, and says it with as much enthusiasm as she says Maggie’s? What if she knocks on the door one night and Alex answers but this other woman is inside, tasting her cooking and being her new tester for her baked desserts? What if this woman spends Sundays with both Danvers girls, drinking wine and watching cartoons and combing teddy bear fur and making chocolate frosting?

The thoughts, all of the questions, make her stomach twist.

She passes the gift shop on the way towards her apartment, where she usually buy Olivia's toys. They have a display of stuffed animals as always and she tries to remember which ones she has already bought Olivia. She decides on a stuffed panda. Olivia loves teddy bears.

They also sell balloons, cards, and small gifts. They have a shelf of bird figurines and Alex loves birds. She stands in front of them and stares at them. She has looked at them before but has never felt right buying one to give her. She always thought it would have given the wrong message but now, she doesn’t even know what the fuck she’s talking about.

What wrong message?

She picks up a small glass bluebird, her mind set.

Maggie takes a deep breath and knocks on the door, having never felt quite this nervous before knocking on this particular door.

Maggie belongs here, she has to keep calm. Alex, and Olivia, they’re both hers.

She knocks again.

Alex answers the door, smiling with flour streaked on her cheek.

“Maggie!” Olivia exclaims from the living room.

“Perfect timing,” Alex beams. “I just pulled a lemon cake from the oven.”

Maggie stares at her and she wonders how she has gone this long. Fuck it. It is a stupid rule anyway.

Life is short and you should kiss th girls that you want to kiss. And she really just want to kiss her.

Without waiting another second, Maggie surges forward and her hand not holding the gift bag cups Alex's cheek and her lips find hers.

She kisses her.

Chapter Text

Eight Years Later...

There is always the moment after. The moment right after the final scream of pain and the final push. The moment when she freezes and holds her breath, the moment when absolutely nothing else in the world matters and there is absolute silence.

A silence that seems to last an eternity and all she can do is hold onto Maggie’s hand – and if she gives it a squeeze, Maggie doesn’t notice because it is still numb – and all she can do is wait for that one single sound that will make everything perfect again.

In reality, the silence lasts no more than a second between her crying out with pain and her baby being pushed completely out into the doctor’s waiting hands to that sound when they all start breathing again.

A cry – sudden and deafening – and she can hears Maggie exhale a breath of relief as a grin overtakes her face and she starts crying but these tears aren’t from the excruciating pain anymore. She lifts her head from the bed and Maggie kisses her forehead, wiping away the hair plastered there with sweat. This is her second time doing it and though it feels like the same every time, it isn’t at all.

This time, there’s her wife beside her and Alex couldn’t be happier.

Maggie can’t get over this feeling of pure wonderment either as the doctor holds up their baby and he announces behind his surgical mask that it’s a girl.

They have another beautiful girl.

Alex cries harder, leaning back, completely exhausted now that it is all over and the doctor asks Maggie if she wants to cut the umbilical cord. Of course Maggie does and she still grins, not caring how stupid she looks.

“Do you have a name picked out yet?” One of the nurses asks as she begins cleaning up as the other nurse and the doctor take the baby across the room to clean her up and check her out.

“Jamie,” Alex smiles, still crying, and Maggie goes back to her, kissing her forehead again.

Alex  then tilts her head up to look at her and she asks, “Is she okay?”

“Of course she is. She’s beautiful just as her big sister,” she then kisses Alex.

“You really amaze me,” she whispers against her lips. “I love you.”

“You too, forever.” Alex whispers back, smiling and kissing her again.

The instant the nurse hands Alex their daughter for the first time, the tiny baby swaddled in a pink blanket, she gets the biggest smile on her face because this is their baby, their little girl, and she loves her more than anything already.

And when she passes her to Maggie, Maggie is still grinning and, cupping the back of her daughter’s head while her other arm cradles her, she stares at her and Jamie stares right back.

She has another daughter. Though she loves Olivia more than anything, this time it’s different. With Jamie, she has been there for Alex from the beginning. This time, they decided together to have another child and they opted to have IVF using her eggs. After being inseminated, they were transferred into Alex’s womb. They had some unsuccessful attempts, but, nine months before, one egg eventually implanted. And now they have a daughter.

This time, Maggie was there to help Alex with her morning sickness and to satisfy her odd cravings. She was there the first time the baby kicked and when they decorated the nursery and repainted Olivia’s crib. And she has been the one taking Alex to the hospital when her water broke just fourteen hours earlier.

This is their daughter. And it doesn’t  matter how many kids they have, she still cannot believe sometimes that she, Maggie Sawyer, has a child, let alone two.

“Holy shit,” she then hears herself breathe and Alex laughs softly.

In the waiting room, there are Kara and Lucy, Eliza and Megan, and ten-year-old Olivia all waiting somewhat impatiently.

When Maggie enters, Olivia immediately runs over to her and Maggie stoops down, wrapping her arms around her waist and hugging her tightly.

“Mama, is the baby here? Can we see her?” Olivia begins asking excitedly.

“Is Alex alright?” Kara asks as they crowd near her.

“Alex and Jamie are perfect,” Maggie says, still grinning. She is unable to stop grinning.

“Can we see them?” Olivia asks, wrapping her arms around Maggie’s neck. “Please?”

“Your mommy is really tired, Vee, but she wants to see you so much. How about a quick visit?” Maggie suggests and Olivia matches her grin with her own and an eager nod of her head. She then looks at everyone else. “Is it okay if you see her in a few more hours?”

“Definitely,” Eliza answers for everyone. “She just had a baby. She needs her rest.”

“Give her our best,” Megan adds.

Leaving the other four in the waiting room, Maggie takes her girl’s hand and they walk together down the hallway to the new room Alex has been relocated in.

They stop just outside the closed door and Maggie gives Olivia a kiss on her cheeks.

“I love you, sweetie.”

“I love you too, mama.” the little girl replies and even after almost seven years Maggie’s heart swells with pride and joy hearing Olivia calling her “ mom ”.

When they enter the room, Maggie closes  the door behind them and Olivia rushes over to the bed where Alex is, sitting up, baby Jamie in her arms.

“Mommy!” Olivia exclaims and she scrambles up on the chair next to the bed and leans over, Alex smiling and giving her a kiss on the cheek and then Olivia gives her a kiss in return before leaning over and looking at the baby. “So… a sister, huh ?” She asks and Alex laughs.

“Do you think you can be a good big sister to her?” Alex asks, rubbing a finger down Jamie’s plump pink cheek before doing the same to Olivia.

“I’m gonna be the best big sister ever,” Olivia boasts proudly.

Maggie leans over and Alex tilts her head up, their lips meeting in a soft, gentle kiss before she bends down and presses her lips to Jamie’s head, the baby blinking at those around her, her hands clenched in tiny fists.

“You can’t stop smiling,” Alex says, laughter in her voice, and Maggie simply keeps grinning.

“Are you tired, mommy?” Olivia asks.

“Very,” Alex nods, shifting the baby in her arms.

“Auntie Kara got so embarrassed when I told her about how Jamie had been actually made and the shots the doctor had given you,” Olivia giggles and then she rolls her eyes, adding, “She was telling me the story about storks and flowers and bees and she seemed so confused. As though I am not big enough to know the truth about how babies are made.”

“You’re terrible!,” both Maggie and Alex say at the exact same time. When they decided to try IVF they agreed to be honest with Olivia, who is a very clever little girl. Not to mention, she has been obsessed with science and nature since she was six and has known the truth about conception and pregnancy since then.

Alex is still laughing at her daughter’s boldness, when she sits up, shifting Jamie and bending her knees slightly, so she can  rests her against her thighs, her hands cradling the back of her neck and head. She then bends down and kisses her forehead. “We love you so much, Jamie,” she murmurs softly.

Maggie and Olivia lean in to look at the baby and a silence settles over the room.

Alex may have done this before, but it is so different.

She just had a baby, one they made entirely from scratch and the truth is, she can’t get used to it because this?

This is amazing and mind-blowing and real and tangible. This is the real proof of their love. This is a moment when it is just them, just their family. A moment when they look at the new baby and Maggie can’t stop grinning and Alex can’t stop smiling and kissing Jamie and Olivia is eager to finally hold her, as she has been practicing on her stuffed animals since they told her she was gonna have a sibling.

This moment, this is when they are truly the happiest.