Chapter Text
“You look like shit.”
Lena rolls her eyes at the greeting as she slides into the seat across Veronica. The woman is wearing one of her usual off-shoulder dresses to show off that god-awful snake tattoo—not that Lena will ever tell her opinion of it again. The CEO thanks the attendant who pours her some wine and she takes a long swig before she glares at the woman in front of her.
“I’m running a multi-billion dollar corporation, Ronnie,” she says tiredly. “Cut me some slack.”
Veronica just laughs and tilts her head. “From the looks of it, you need to get laid too.”
Lena full on glares at that but she doesn’t say anything, just looks around as she sips her wine. She doesn’t need to get laid. What she needs is to finish three deadlines due in the coming weeks, especially one that requires her particular attention. And so what if she hasn’t been intimate with anyone since Jack? She’s a woman of brilliance. Of youth and power, and she certainly does not need to give in to human desires, especially not sex. She’s beyond that.
“Or you know. Just mere human contact,” Veronica retracts, and when Lena looks up at her, the other woman wears an expression closer to concern. Not an emotion she usually associates with Veronica Sinclair who practically lives outside of the law, but she’s one of Lena’s rare friends—the few people who actually care about her, and not only because her last name is Luthor and that she’s probably the most powerful woman, if not person, in National City. The worry in her eyes makes Lena frown.
“I’ll be the first to say I loathe human contact that doesn’t land money on my hands," Veronica continues with a shrug, which Lena knows is an attempt to look like some callous bitch, "and I know you don’t trust anything short of scientific, but I’m sure you’re aware that actual human contact improves health and well-being, reduces stress. God knows you need that last part.”
Lena stares at her friend incredulously. She clicks her tongue against her teeth and realizes her shoulders are tense, and when she relaxes them, Veronica smiles softly. The woman slides what looks like a business card across the table.
“My, ah, acquaintance runs a company that provides professional cuddling services.” At Lena’s eyebrow raise, Veronica chuckles. “It’s an actual, legit company, so you don’t have to worry about the legalities of the thing.”
Lena continues to stare at the woman, but she takes the card and examines it.
“Just give it a shot.” Veronica shrugs. “The best you can have is a better self so you can continue dominating the industry. Worst is, well.” The woman smirks. “Someone without a job for the rest of their life I suppose.”
Lena leans back in her chair and stares at the unremarkable black card in her hands. She’s in her office and has debated asking Jess to look into the company for her, but she doesn’t really want to drag her secretary into some madness Veronica wants her to check. For all she knows, it’s one of Ronnie’s more elaborate pranks. She sighs and thinks back to what the woman had said. She did have a point; she has done nothing but work in the past few months—or god, years—and though deep-tissue massages and chiropractic have done nothing but miracles for her body, she knew actual touch was different. And not sexual touch, just intimate, platonic physical contact that would, hopefully, help with her brain’s inner workings and better her social and developmental capacities.
It didn’t sound so bad, too; upon checking the website, she’s pleased to know that their professional cuddlers are all certified and they adhere to a strict code of conduct for every session. They might be strangers, but the site offers a write-up for each cuddler so she could at least get to know them. The service costs eighty bucks per hour, excluding the travel expenses and such. Not that money was ever an issue for her anyway. They had background checks too, not that Lena couldn’t run a more thorough one of her own, plus an option for confidentiality.
That’s the part that sold Lena into the idea, and she finds herself clicking on the “Book a Session” button.
She’s led to a page that lists available cuddlers in the area. Only three people in National City and two of them are male. She’s sure none of the cuddlers are sexual predators, but she doesn’t feel fully comfortable with cuddling with strange men, so she scrolls down to the third and only female in the list.
Kara Danvers.
The blonde’s picture on the site is of her hugging a pillow, in what looks like penguin-printed pajamas, a rather contagious grin on her face. She’s pretty too, Lena murmurs to herself, and reads through the cuddler’s profile. She’s a Marketing graduate of National City University, works as a junior reporter at CatCo Media. She says she’s curious and playful and Lena could only think of a puppy, and she chuckles. when she reads that Kara Danvers is also currently fostering a puppy she calls Krypto.
Her secretary’s voice filters through the intercom to remind her of a meeting she has in ten minutes, so Lena requests a session that evening, just so she could get it over with. She books it under a fake name, Tess Mercer, and indicates the location of one of her smaller apartments in the city. She picks an hour for the session length and stares too long at the last question before typing a response. A knock on her door tells her that she has to leave for her meeting now, so she submits her request and hopes for the best.
What would you like your Cuddler to know about you?
I haven’t had human touch in a while. I might have forgotten what it feels.
Her phone dings with a message halfway through her meeting. She doesn’t check it until it’s done, and she’s mildly surprised when she sees it’s a confirmation to her 7PM booking with Ms. Kara Danvers. She makes sure Jess hasn’t set anything for her for the rest of the day. By the time 5PM rolls around, she tells her secretary to go home, much to the woman’s surprise. Lena asks her driver to take her to the Italian restaurant near the apartment she’ll have the session in. She gets dinner alone and realizes she’s getting more nervous as the minutes tick by.
Thirty minutes before the scheduled meeting, she heads to the apartment. It’s one of the usual two-bedroom suites with coastal decor—one of the reasons she chose the place. The shades of blue in everything calm her in a way the static whiteness of her main apartment doesn’t. The place reminds her of the beach and the sea, and though it’s probably been years since her last vacation, she remembers Maldives with fondness.
She changes into a comfortable gray sweatshirt and yoga pants, takes her hair out of the bun and runs her hair through it. She debates against having a glass of wine but eventually gives in, popping open a brand new bottle of red. Halfway through it, the buzzer tells her of her cuddler’s arrival, and she tells the guard to let the woman up. Lena gulps the rest of her wine and hides the evidence of her nerves, instead looks around to check if everything is in tiptop shape.
The knock on the door brings her back to her senses. With a sigh, she pads bare feet to the door and opens it.
The sight that greets her is almost jarring. Kara Danvers grins on the other side of the door. Lena watches her push her glasses up before she shoves her right hand to her direction.
“Hi! You must be Tess,” she says, and for a moment Lena is confused until she remembers her fake name. “I’m Kara, your cuddler for tonight. May I come in?”
Lena gathers her bearings and shakes the woman’s hand. It’s soft, and Lena looks down at it. This might be the first handshake she ever cared to give, and she shakes her head as she steps aside to let the blonde in. She’s glad of the fact that Kara doesn’t seem to realize she’s Lena Luthor, and she thinks that maybe this isn’t a bad idea after all. In any case, she knows how to protect herself, so she can just break a bone or two in the blonde’s body in case she tries anything remotely alarming.
“Y-yes, please. Come in. I’m sorry,” she says and laughs softly. “I’m—” She sighs as she closes the door once the cuddler walked in. She’s dressed in a comfortable-looking button-down white shirt and dark jeans, her hair tied up in a loose bun on her head. Her glasses slip down her nose before she pushes them up again. “Sorry. This is new for me and I’m…” She trails off and waves her hands helplessly. This isn’t the Lena Luthor that has faced countless of powerful people and took them down, and she isn’t too happy about it. Then again, she isn’t here to win some oil deal or something.
Kara, for her part, just smiles at her warmly, and Lena feels her stomach do weird flips.
“Don’t worry about it,” the cuddler assures. “I understand this is your first session? I mean, I assume it is, because I read what you wanted me to know, and I uh, well. I want to make this as comfortable and as helpful to you as possible.” Kara flashes her a bright grin again. Lena blinks at her. Professional indeed, and she’s almost touched at the thought of the woman caring until she remembers this was a job for her.
Lena sighs. “Thank you. Well, would you like something to eat or drink?”
When Kara shakes her head, Lena nods and points vaguely to the direction of the master bedroom. Better get this over with sooner, she thinks. “The, uh, bedroom’s this way,” Lena murmurs.
Kara smiles again. She puts her bag down on the couch and follows Lena as she leads the way.
The bedroom is a large, quiet space; much like the rest of the apartment, the walls are painted light blue. The king-sized bed and its sheets are white, the bed frame and the pillows are dark teal. The rest of the furniture—dressers and closets—as well as the carpeted floor are of the color of sand. The only decoration is the large painting of ocean waves on the wall across the bed. Kara takes it in with a small sound of awe.
“This is probably the biggest bedroom I’ve been in,” she says, then squeaks as if she didn’t mean to say it. Lena dismisses it with a small chuckle and tells her it’s fine, then awkwardly stands by the bed.
“So… How is this done?” She asks seriously. She thanks the lack of judgement in Kara’s smile—she really, really likes to smile, and Lena is reminded of the way the sun warms her when she lounges by the beach, the sound of waves lulling her to near sleep.
“We get on the bed and we cuddle,” Kara says simply.
There’s no hesitance in her voice, and for that Lena is grateful because they only needed one bumbling, nervous idiot out of the two of them. Kara fiddles with her phone and sets it on the bedside table. With a hum, she gets on the bed and slides under the sheets before lifting them, opening her arms as an invitation for Lena. “Get in here.”
Lena pauses, gaze flitting from Kara’s open arms to that sunny expression on her face. She notices how blue her eyes are. She’s reminded of the ocean, the slow current gently easing her worries off. Nodding, she slips under the sheets as well, and with uncertainty, settles beside Kara. The woman seems to be having none of it, because the next thing Lena knows, strong, warm arms wrap around her body and she’s being pulled flush into Kara’s front. She finds her face resting against the crook of Kara’s neck, Kara’s cheek pressed against her temple. A small sound of protest makes itself known and she feels the woman against her chuckle; she hopes Kara couldn’t hear or feel her racing heart.
“Sorry. Too much too soon?” The blonde pulls away and Lena sighs in gratitude for the space, however small.
Lena looks up and sees bright blue eyes looking back at her with what seemed like worry. She bites her lip.
“No. Just…” Lena sighs again. “Caught me by surprise is all.”
Kara nods thoughtfully but she doesn’t retract her arms around Lena, instead keeps them there. Lena looks down and manages an eyeful of Kara’s lips because of their proximity, and gazing lower gives her a view of the woman’s chest. She huffs lightly and chooses to close her eyes. They are quiet for a few moments and Lena could only focus on trying to relax and even her breathing. She is grateful for the silence, though she jumps a little and her heartbeat spikes up again when she feels circles traced on the small of her back.
Kara hums. “Can I ask something?”
Lena hesitates. “Is that part of the session?” She hopes it doesn’t come off as snappy as it sounded in her head. She hears the smile in Kara’s voice when she speaks.
“Not really. I can keep quiet if you want me to.”
Lena says nothing and she’s mildly pleased when Kara does keep quiet like she said. The businesswoman bites her lip before she speaks again. “What do you usually do in sessions?”
Kara doesn’t answer immediately, just chuckles, and when she gently squeezes her waist in an almost polite manner, Lena doesn’t flinch.
“If I answer you, can I ask my question?” She replies softly. Lena opens her eyes and glares at her, but Kara is only smiling. “Some clients just want someone to hold them, so we just lay in silence until they fall asleep. Mostly small spoons. Some like to talk. It’s part of human connection, you know?”
Human connection. Lena almost laughs. She doesn’t know; she talks to win wars, to dominate, and she rarely ever speaks just to... connect. It isn’t surprising; her status and her last name has shut her out for most of her life, and the rare conversation she has that doesn’t revolve around business deal is with Ronnie, her employees occasionally, when she asks them how they are, and… Well. That’s all, she supposes. She closes her eyes again and hums as she finds herself leaning into Kara’s warmth. She rests her forehead against Kara’s cheek and feels the way the muscle quirks under her in what she assumes is yet another smile.
“Can I ask now?” Kara says again. Lena is amused with her persistence, so she finally nods. “Yay. So, when you said you haven’t had human touch in a while, how long are we talking?”
Lena balks at the question. It’s the least she expected, and she doesn’t notice her body tense until Kara loosens her hold on her and pulls back. She thinks she feels the brush of lips on her forehead, but the comforting circles on her back are there once more and she melts into Kara’s arms once again.
“You don’t have to tell me,” Kara assures in a soft voice. She reminds Lena of the sun and the woman finds herself surrendering to her warmth. It’s unusual for her to feel like this, like she could entrust her whole world to this stranger and feel nothing but warmth, but the confidentiality clause is written in every cuddler’s contract so if any word of this conversation leaves this bedroom, she’ll be sure to destroy Kara Danvers’ life herself.
“Probably a year or so,” she finds herself saying. She feels Kara tense around her for a moment then hears the woman sigh.
“That’s too long,” she says with a frown, and Lena finds herself chuckling. “No, I mean it. Human physical touch helps people thrive.”
“I know,” Lena cuts in. “Science says so too.”
“So why?”
“Why what?” Lena asks, confused.
“Wait for so long.”
Lena chuckles once more at the question. Why, indeed? Because she’s a busy woman of brilliance, power, and most of all, pride, and if she doesn’t falter in the face of the cruelest men in the industry, then she shouldn’t give in to the mere physiological and psychological desire for touch.
Or because she's a Luthor, and no one would really dare touch her with a ten-foot pole, much less cuddle with her. That and she's been a lone wolf all her life, and touch is something that would come with close family and friends, even mere company, and those are things not even a woman of her brilliance, power, and pride has.
She doesn’t answer though, just shrugs. Kara doesn’t seem pleased with that answer and they lay in silence for a while, her in Kara’s arms, strong and sure despite the tinge of awkwardness Lena feels, the sound of breathing and heartbeat around her.
“I’m glad you decided to try this out,” Kara says after what seemed like eons. Lena hums sluggishly, finding herself getting sleepy in comfortable warmth. She stays quiet for a couple more moments.
“What’s Krypto’s dog breed?” She asks. Kara isn’t expecting the question but Lena can practically feel her excitement at it. “I read it in your profile.”
“Jack Russell Terrier,” Kara says. “He’s a cute little puppy. I’ve been fostering him for almost three months now, and on one hand I’m sad no one’s interested in adopting him yet, on the other, he’s the best thing to happen to me, so I—” She clears her throat. “Sorry. I tend to ramble a lot.”
Lena only smiles. She certainly doesn’t mind. Her voice reminds her of the waves, white noise that drown the harshest of her self-doubt. “So you…” She trails off, encouraging Kara to continue. Kara laughs softly.
“So I’m happy,” she finishes. Lena feels her heart jump a bit at that. Happiness. It makes her realize that just as long as she hasn’t had physical touch, she hasn’t really been happy. Sure, she’s pleased over victories and glad over certain news, but happiness—genuine one like how Kara feels over a mutt—is something closer to an imagined memory for her at this point. She sighs and she’s thankful that her face is hidden from Kara’s view, because she doesn’t think she can handle a stranger’s pity when Kara sees the anguish on her face.
“I bet he’s a happy dog too,” she says softly.
Kara giggles in reply and Lena feels the arms around her tighten. She sinks into the offered warmth she hasn't felt in so long and after a while, places an arm around Kara to keep her close.
Sounds of chirping birds jolt her into wakefulness. Lena blinks furiously and realizes she had fallen asleep, only to wake to what seems like an alarm. Kara’s arms are still around her and she looks up to see that the woman is also sleeping. Gently, she nudges the woman awake.
“Five more minutes,” she grumbles, and Lena finds herself grinning at the blonde.
“Okay, but will I get a discount?”
At that, Kara jumps, eyes opening in panic. “Tess! Sorry, golly, that was very unprofessional of me,” she stammers, sitting up and pulling away from Lena, much to the latter’s disappointment. She already misses the warmth, somehow, but she chastises herself as she watched Kara turn her alarm off. Tess, she echoes in her head, and before she could think about it, she’s speaking again.
“Lena,” she says simply. Kara looks back at her and she notices the way the woman’s hair messed up in her bun, how her glasses are skewed. Lena kneels up and reaches out to straighten it, and she smiles at the way Kara blushes. “My, um, actual name is Lena.”
Kara blinks and it takes a moment for her to react. “Oh,” she breathes out, and after a second, nods like this was a common occurrence. “Lena it is.” There’s that smile again, bright and warm like the sun her pale skin craved, and she finds herself smiling back. “Our session’s over now, I guess,” she continues, and Lena thinks she imagined the crinkle between the blonde’s eyebrows as she gets up. “The site will charge your card for fees and expenses.”
Lena nods. For a moment, somewhere within that hour of warmth and the memory of the beach and the sun, she forgot that this was business. A paid service. “Right. Thank you for your...service,” she says softly, and she hopes disappointment isn’t obvious in her voice.
She hopes it’s disappointment in Kara’s face too, as she walks her out her bedroom and leads her back to her front door.
“You’re very welcome, Lena,” Kara says, just as soft, and the smile on her face is bright, contagious. Lena mirrors it. “I hope it was...okay.”
More than, Lena thinks, but she only nods.
“I’m glad,” Kara replies.
Lena opens the door for Kara and bites her lip. “Me too,” she says softly, green eyes meeting the ocean in Kara’s. She misses the beach, the sea, the warmth of the woman she doesn’t know.
Kara grins in reply and gives Lena a wave before walking out. Lena watches her go, but before she could turn at the corner where the elevators are, she calls out for her. Kara turns, and Lena is happy the hope she feels is visible on the way the blonde smiles.
“Are you allowed to bring Krypto to sessions?” She calls out.
Kara grins brightly, and Lena realizes that she doesn’t remind her of the sun—she’s the sun herself.
“I won’t tell if you don’t.”