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Jimin is sitting on Taehyung’s bed, holding his phone in his shaking hand and trying to see the video playing on the screen through the tears pooling in his eyes. Jimin sniffles and leans closer into Taehyung. The video fades out for a second time and for a moment Jimin stares at the dark screen. Taehyung is the one who rips him out of his thoughts by squeezing his shoulders.
Jimin was in his own room when he got the notification on his phone, informing him that someone tweeted something. Jimin, as always, had stopped what he had been doing in favour of seeing what it was. A smile had appeared on his face when he had seen that Jungkook had tweeted a link to a vlog of their trip to Japan together. He had rolled his eyes at first when he saw himself on screen but still smiled, remembering the moment immediately. He had smiled some more when he continued to see himself on the screen. The smile had dropped soon though when Jimin realized there wasn’t anything other than him in the video or things related to him. At the end of the video Jimin was sitting on his bed frozen, unable to move or think. Then he had gotten up, rushed, and went into Taehyung’s room.
Taehyung had looked up immediately, mischievous smile on his lips, ready to tease Jimin about the video because just like Jimin Taehyung also always checked on his band’s updates as soon as they were posted. Then he saw the look on Jimin’s face and quietly sat down next to Jimin on his bed.
All Jimin has been doing since then is replay the video and let Taehyung hold him. Somewhere along watching the video for a second time, Jimin started crying and can’t stop anymore. He knows he is worrying Taehyung, hasn’t uttered a single word since he entered his friend’s room but he doesn’t know what to say. The video isn’t what he expected at all. He knew Jungkook was going to post something. He had asked Jimin to anticipate it, had cheekily announced that his video was going to be much better than Jimin when they had woken up that morning.
“What’s wrong, Jiminie?” Taehyung asks, squeezing his shoulders again.
Jimin wipes away the tears, breathes in deeply, and stares at his hands, playing with his sleeves. He swallows the lump in his throat and cleans his nose. Takes a deep breath. “It’s me. It’s all me,” Jimin says. States.
Taehyung smiles, just as soft as his voice when he speaks up. “Yeah, all you. You’re all that is on his mind.”
Jimin sobs but controls himself again, breathing in deeply through his nose. “He-” Jimin hiccups, “He really loves me, Tae.”
Taehyung chuckles. “He’s crazy about you.”
And that’s when Jimin bursts out crying again. But this time it’s not a silent crying. It’s the full-on sobbing and making choked noises as he breathes in crying. It’s ugly and something that Jimin hasn’t done in a long time. Taehyung, still smiling because he knows now that it’s nothing bad, brings Jimin into his lap and holds him close. He presses a kiss to Jimin’s head and starts rocking him gently, resting his cheek on Jimin’s head.
It goes on like this for a while, until Jimin’s flow of tears has slowed down and the sobbing turned into hiccuping.
“I-” Jimin’s voice cracks and he stops talking. Coughs. Swallows. Starts again, “I know he loves me. But this video is just so-” He stops again, just can’t find the right words.
“Overwhelming?” Taehyung asks. Jimin nods. “You deserve this, Jiminie.”
“I know. I’m just still trying to get used to it. Jungkook has always liked me. I know that now even if I doubted it years ago. And I was happy because Jungkook allowed me to be close to him and I felt like there couldn’t be more to him, to us. But then we started dating and Jungkook has so much love and dedication to offer that I get scared. It scares me sometimes.”
Taehyung tightens his hold on Jimin and breathes out loudly. He knows about this, has heard Jimin say this a lot of times but he still doesn’t know what to say. He knows how hard he had to work to break the walls Jimin tends to build around himself. And now Jimin is trying his hardest to let him in at all times but also Jungkook. But then again Jungkook is another case.
“I don’t want to be scared anymore,” Jimin mumbles.
“How do you think you can do this?”
“By allowing myself to love Jungkook too.”
Taehyung smiles. He likes that answer. Accepting Jungkook’s love has been hard for Jimin but allowing himself to love Jungkook, to think he is worthy enough of being Jungkook’s lover is something that Jimin still hasn’t come to terms with. Always thinking that someone else could love Jungkook better, sincerer, more earnest. Taehyung doesn’t know how Jimin can think this.
“Have you talked to Jungkook about this?” Taehyung asks.
“Kind of.”
“What did he say?”
“I asked him not to say anything, just to listen. But today I want to bring it up again.”
Taehyung tightens his hold on Jimin again and presses another kiss to his head. “When are you going to do it?”
“As soon as he comes back.”
“I’ll take care of the others,” Taehyung promises and Jimin squeezes his arm.
“What do I say to the tweet?” Jimin asks.
“Do you want to say something?”
Jimin nods. “He’s waiting.”
“Okay, then lets do it.”
Taehyung takes his phone out and hands it to Jimin. Jimin changes his position, settling his back against Taehyung’s chest, and starts thinking. He types his response, then deletes it. He stares at Taehyung’s phone, frowns, and huffs. Then he types again:
Jungkook-ah if hyung knew that you would edit it so coolly I would have dressed up and not acted all goofy. Hyung will dress nicer next time. Thank you for making the video, you’ve worked hard
#Jimin
#Kkook
Jimin would have liked to say more. There is so much he wants to say but he can either not word it correctly or it isn’t social media appropriate. So he settles for that and waits until Jungkook comes back. Then he will be able to tell Jungkook how he feels with more than just words.
Jimin stays for a little longer in Taehyung’s arms, enjoying the silence and letting his body come down from all the turmoil it just went through. He is slipping into unconsciousness but wills his eyes open, raising from Taehyung’s embrace.
Taehyung looks at him a little alarmed, not trusting his best friend to be okay yet. Jimin smiles tiredly and presses a kiss to his forehead. “I’m fine,” he speaks against his forehead, “I’ll be in Kookie’s room.”
Taehyung nods and then lets Jimin walk out after giving him his phone. Jimin passes by his own room straight to Jungkook’s and walks in. He looks at everything as if he is seeing it for the first time, overcome with tears again. Everything in this room is so Jungkook that he is suddenly overwhelmed by his own love for the boy, and he misses him. So much. Jimin wishes he would just come back already and hold him, and let Jimin hold him.
Jimin wipes away the unshed tears and sits down on Jungkook’s bed. He lets his hand wander on the sheets where they have been laying that morning and then lays down, hugging Jungkook’s pillow and covering himself with his blanket. Cocooned in Jungkook’s scent, the aching in Jimin’s chest finally subsides a little.
Jungkook will be here soon, Jimin knows that, and then everything will be fine.
Jimin watches the video again. This time his heart doesn’t hurt nearly as much as it did the first and the second time. This time Jimin is filled with warmth. He smiles, remembering all the moments that Jungkook has on video, and while he wishes Jungkook was with him on screen, he also sees the difference between their vlogs.
Jimin’s vlog is full of ‘us.’ Jungkook’s vlog is full of ‘you.’ And again, Jimin is overwhelmed by the love he feels when he sees himself on the screen. It’s him during random times of the day and doing random or everyday life things but Jungkook still filmed him and Jungkook still put all of this into a video, made it worthy of being seen.
The song sounds extremely familiar to Jimin. Jungkook has been listening to it on repeat for the last weeks, has blasted the song from his speaker and at times it rang quietly in the background, fitting the calm atmosphere. Jungkook had told him about the meaning of the song and Jimin remembers it vaguely but he’s not satisfied with that. He googles the lyrics fast and finds a translation.
The tears that have been flowing steadily since Jimin watched the video again, flow a little faster. The song completes the video and Jimin can’t believe that Jungkook chose this song for the video. He frowns at the first lines but then cries again when he reads on. It fits them perfectly.
Jungkook and Jimin have been through a lot and they always will. This is something that Jimin has talked about a lot with Jungkook and the others. But Jungkook is worth the trouble and that’s kind of what the song says too. What makes Jimin cry the hardest though is the fact that Jungkook is basically promising him to be always there for him, always be with him. Jimin knows his Jungkook. Not a single thing is a coincidence. It’s all intentional and everything has a meaning.
Jimin sighs, wipes away the tears and cuddles more into the blanket. He doesn’t know if he fell asleep but by the next time Jimin opens his eyes he hears Jungkook outside of the room. Jimin’s heart starts racing and the events of before he fell asleep start coming back, choking him up again. Just as Jimin sits up, the door opens and Jungkook steps in. He pauses in the doorway when he sees Jimin on his bed and then frowns, moving towards Jimin automatically.
“Hyung, what’s wrong?”
Jimin meets Jungkook halfway, wanting to be no longer separated from him. He throws his arms around Jungkook’s neck, Jungkook’s hands finding their place on Jimin’s waist, and presses his lips against Jungkook’s. Jungkook stumbles back two steps but regains his balance, snakes his arms around Jimin’s waist. Jimin doesn’t say anything. He kisses Jungkook again and again, glad that Jungkook is reciprocating.
Jungkook understands very fast that Jimin is seeking comfort. Jimin can tell that Jungkook doesn’t understand the situation in general but he knows that Jimin is clinging to him for support, and Jungkook is going to give it. Just like he promised.
At that thought, the tears that sprung into Jimin’s eyes when he saw Jungkook fall. He presses himself closer to Jungkook, wanting to feel him and feel safe. When they separate, it’s only their lips, and they’re breathing heavy, close enough to breathe in the air the other had just let out. Jimin opens his eyes and leans into Jungkook’s hand when Jungkook wipes his tears away.
“Kook-ah,” Jimin whispers.
Jungkook nuzzles Jimin’s neck with his nose and Jimin welcomes the touch. “Yes, hyung?”
“You did such a great job at editing the video, baby.”
Jungkook picks Jimin up and leads him to his bed, laying him down gently. Jimin makes himself comfortable, raising his arms, an invitation for Jungkook to lay on top of him. Jungkook does so immediately, knowing that his boyfriend needs him to be as close as possible when he is seeking comfort.
Jungkook cages Jimin against his bed, Jimin’s hands wandering all over his body, carding through his hair, slipping under his shirt, feeling naked skin.
“I saw your tweet,” Jungkook breathes against Jimin’s neck. “Have you been crying?”
Jimin nods. “Didn’t expect a video like that.”
“I love you, Jiminie.” Jimin gasps. “I love you so, so much.”
Jimin pushes Jungkook off and scrambles to sit up. Jungkook is caught off guard but follows Jimin’s silent orders obediently. He lets Jimin straddle his hips and automatically reciprocates the fierce hug he gets from Jimin.
“Why are you crying, Jiminie?” Jungkook asks, worry evident in his voice.
Jimin sobs and clears his throat before he speaks up, still clinging to Jungkook. “I didn’t know you loved me so much.”
Jungkook chuckles. “I love you.”
Jimin giggles and tightens his grip around Jungkook’s neck. “I love you, Jeon Jungkook. I love you.”
Jungkook tightens his grip around Jimin and whispers, “I know.”
“I want to love you more, better,” Jimin admits.
“I’m happy with you, hyung.”
“I read the lyrics of the song.”
“You did?” Jungkook asks with a smile, noting how Jimin has stopped crying.
“I’m also always here for you, Kookie. You know that, right?”
“I do. You’re always here. Have been since the beginning. And now I want to be here for you, Jimin, and support you.”
Jimin loosens his grip around Jungkook’s neck and pulls back. He cups his cheeks with both hands and returns the smile on Jungkook’s face. “You are here,” Jimin breathes and then kisses Jungkook.
Jungkook smiles into the kiss and rubs his hands up and down Jimin’s back. He opens his mouth easily for Jimin, lets the elder suck on his bottom lip and groans. They make out for a while, nothing rushed but only testing, experimenting, feeling the other’s presence.
Jimin parts their lips with a smile and licks his own lips, Jungkook following the movement with his eyes. Then Jimin gets down from Jungkook’s lap, settles with his back against the headboard and opens his arms for Jungkook. “Let me love you, Jeon Jungkook.”
Jungkook smiles and then sings, “Let me love youuuuuu.”
Jimin swats at Jungkook’s chest but can’t suppress the smile. “Brat. Don’t abuse my song like that. Come here.”
Jungkook rests his head on Jimin’s chest, smile still present, and hugs him. Jimin starts playing with his hair like he always does and Jungkook enjoys it.
“My video is better,” Jungkook says after some silence.
Jimin sighs and then pinches the flesh on his hip. Jungkook giggles and squirms. He grips Jimin’s hand in his own and says, “I’m joking. I’m joking.”
Jimin doesn’t fight Jungkook as he settles behind him and cuddles. He hugs Jungkook’s arm to his chest and presses a kiss to his fingers, smiling when he feels Jungkook’s lips on his neck. They’re going to spend another night together. And countless more.