Chapter Text
“Aw, c’mon big guy, how bad can it be?” Merle cajoles loudly, trying to make Magnus take his jacket.
Magnus looks up from the couch with a frown that tries really hard to not look like a frown. “I dunno, man. I don't know anything about dungeons or dragons. Won't I be a bummer?”
Merle throws the jacket at his roommate and grabs his own off another hook. “I've got even less of a clue how to play this shit. I'm sure it's completely different from the version I played in uh, y'know when I played.”
Magnus sighs and pulls the hoodie on, wincing just a little. Merle chunks his boots at him from the doorway, so Magnus takes a breath to steel himself and bends down. His ribs light up with pain and his shin feels like it'll crack. But he pulls the boot on and manages to loosely tie the laces and that'll have to do. When he sits back up his jaw is clenched tight, and Merle’s watching him carefully. He lets his breath out slowly and grins. “Well, you're already a step ahead of me. Let's go.”
The dwarf's brow creases, like he lost track of the conversation at some point. But he blinks his confusion away and smiles. He hands Magnus his crutches and they leave the apartment. Thankfully, it's ground level so Magnus doesn't have to maneuver his broken leg down any stairs.
“It's five blocks away. Think you can hobble that far?” Merle asks, half-joking.
“Yeah, you don't have to fire up the ol’ Mystery Machine.” Merls pats his ancient VW bus as they walk past it. Magnus isn't completely sure if he will be okay, but he doesn't want to waste gas money. So they hoof it.
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“Taako. I think that's enough Doritos.”
“Oh, c’mon Barold. It's tradition!” Taako argues, popping another bag and dumping it into a plastic Candlenights decorated bowl. “If you're dragging both me and Lup into this nerd orgy I refuse to experience anything that isn't one hundo percent authentic DnD culture.”
Barry bites back a sigh before reminding him, “Carey and Killian are bringing dinner.”
“What are they bringing?” Taako asks, eyebrows raised expectantly, as he shakes the plastic bag loudly.
“...Taco Bell,” Barry answers. Taako laughs uproariously as Barry turns and taps at his phone with more force than is strictly necessary. Lup comes out of the tiny kitchen, and immediately knows Taako just embarrassed her adorably-easy-to-embarrass boyfriend. She leans forward and snatches the phone from his hand deftly. He flails for it but she holds it over her head. Having a few inches over him is extremely handy at moments like this.
“No sub-tweeting ‘til after the campaign. Trust me, you’ll love these assholes. My brother included.”
Taako puts his hands on his hips and looks at the floor thoughtfully. “Should we just soak the carpet with Mountain Dew so we can suckle at our leisure?”
Barry sighs, loud and frustrated. Lup tries to scold Taako but the mental image conjured by his suggestion sends her into hysterics. “Oh my God, why did you bother to put the Doritos in bowls? Just pile them in the middle of the table so we can graze! Ahaha, oh fuck!”
Their combined ridiculousness nearly drowns out the sound of the doorbell, but Barrry is so glad to hear it. Until he opens the door. Carey greets him with a loud roar, wearing a bed sheet printed with ducks around her scaly shoulders as a cloak. She has no fewer than six belts strapped around her torso, butter knives duck taped to them. Killian roughly shoves her roommate inside. “Get in there before anyone sees you. I'm so sorry, I couldn't talk her out of it.” Carey runs into the house, still bellowing about blood and vinegar and holding the paper tray of drinks high over her horned head.
“Oh Gods, wait until Taako sees her,” Barry mutters, rubbing his face and setting his glasses askew.
Killian whistles in amazement. "Lup’s mysterious brother is making an appearance? Dang, I gotta see this. C’mon, Barry it won't be that bad.”
He takes a couple of the bags of food from her and continues grumbling all the way back to the dining table, frowning down at the four large Baja Blasts. He starts worrying that maybe they are just a bunch of stereotypical nerds. Maybe-
“No one said anything about dressing up!” Taako says, staring at Carey as she bounds up to crouch on the back of an armchair. "Ooh, hang on, give me five.” He grabs a few empty Doritos bags and gallops off for Lup and Barry's room. Killian neatly swerves to keep from being run over by the excited elf.
“Yeah, that was awful,” she chuckles. She and Barry deposit the food on the counter. “Oh, is your neighbor coming?”
“Julia had to get some extra hours at work, she said she might swing by later. Lup apparently invited this guy she met at the farmer's market.” There's an insistent knock at the door.
Of course Barry feels trepidation, opening the door to a perfect stranger. Of course he peeks through the peephole to get a look before letting this guy into his home. Lup's announcement that she'd invited some rando she'd met getting groceries had shocked him. She-and Taako too-were so cautious about letting new people near them, this whole thing had his nerves on edge. Along with Taako’s presence tonight, he was pretty jumpy.
So when he peeps through and sees a huge human leaning close to the other side of the peephole, murder in his eyes, he can't be blamed for jumping back a few feet. He collects himself quickly and opens the door. He doesn't want to be the kind of asshole to judge based on first impressions.
The guy nearly falls into the house without the door holding him up. A dwarf holds his thigh trying to support his large companion, but failing mostly. Barry reacts instantly, helping them both inside. “Uh, you must be Merle,” he says awkwardly.
The human grunts, and the dwarf says, “Thats me. This is Magnus, aka the idiot who thought walking five blocks on a broken leg was a good idea. You Barry?”
“Yep, here the couch is over here.” They plop him down on the ancient couch. “I’ll get you some water. Take it easy, man.”
Magnus just scowls, muttering something about the hill up to this neighborhood coming out of nowhere. How great is this? Hanging out with new people and he's sitting here red faced and rendered stupid by the pain in his leg.
A beautiful elf peeks her head into the living room, and Magnus tries to smile. “Hey superhero, you good?”
Magnus laughs. “I will be. Just got my ass kicked by a 20 degree incline.”
“You guys didn't drive? Damn Merle, don't you have, like healthcare experience? Why'd you let him walk all this way?”
"You clearly never tried to tell this beefy boy that he can't do something!" Merle scoffs.
"Magnus you aren't allowed to die before we become friends and get into all kinds of heinous crap together. Or after that either. Live forever and stop being dumb, is what I'm getting at." She comes over and pats his back encouragingly.
Barry comes back with water and a pill bottle. Before Magnus can wave off the medicine, Merle says, "It's just some Tylenol you giant baby. Take the edge off.”
Magnus bites his lip, but takes the proffered pills and water. “Thanks,” he says quietly.
Lup's bedroom door bursts open. Taako stands in the doorway, voguing as hard as he can. His thick torso is draped with a damask curtain, and atop his head three taped together Dorito bags form a huge floppy hat. He changes his pose, Dorito bag bracers wrinkling loudly. Lup and Carey break into applause, and Magnus breaks into laughter.
"Behold, mortals!" Taako cries, his hands shaking as he stares them all down. "Behold and tremble in fear of Taako the gay!"
"Are those my curtains?!" "it was Gandalf the grey Taako, jeeze," Lup and Barry say at the same time.
"I know Barold, and yes Lup but look your curtain rod makes a dope staff." He pulls the rod from behind the door and twirls it.
"Oh, dibs!" she shouts. He tosses it to her and she catches it deftly.
"Okay," Barry says, standing and waving his arms out in greeting. "Let's all eat and we can work on our character sheets before we start the actual campaign." As the others let out a blood curdling scream Barry thanks whatever deities are listening for the yards of space between him and his neighbors.