Work Text:
“We need to talk about what happened last night.”
The words rang in Clary’s ears unpleasantly, causing her to squirm in her seat on the stool.
“There is nothing to talk about,” she managed to breathe out before taking a drink of the beverage Maia had made her just minutes before. The drink no longer tasted good though, and she winced as it went down.
Clary had never been so nervous, anxious, or confused, all at the same time. It wasn’t something that she wanted to dwell on in the slightest, she would much rather watch Simon set up for his show in silence, ignoring the elephant in the room for as long as possible.
Maia let out a quiet sigh and tried to think of a different way to approach this. She understood, she really did, but Clary acting like what happened didn’t happen wasn’t fair to her or Clary herself. Their… connection had to either continue or come to an end, their relationship staying in limbo forever was not an option.
“Clary… What we did, it doesn’t make us bad people, it doesn’t make *you* a bad person,” Maia offered, trying to catch Clary’s eyes with hers.
When Clary finally looked back at her after a long period of silence, her eyes were filled with shame and wet with unshed tears. Maia felt her heart break just looking at the other girl, even though she didn’t quite know what the other girl was feeling inside.
“Come on, let’s go somewhere private, alright?”
Maia knew that Clary would feel even worse if she cried in front of everyone, and she would also have to explain why she was crying, and that might be too much for her.
Clary nodded and stood up to follow Maia outside to an empty alley outdoors, still struggling to maintain her composure.
It was a beautiful night outside. The moon seemed especially bright and the way it casted it’s light upon Maia made her look like the most gorgeous person in the world. That is what caused the tears to finally fall.
Once she let out a few tears, it was like she couldn’t stop, and soon she was on the ground, sobbing in Maia’s arms as the other woman rubbed soothing circles into her back and whispered “it’s going to be okay, it’s going to be okay”.
When Clary stopped crying, the words stopped. The movements stopped. But Maia kept holding onto her, for as long as she needed.
After what could have been hours, or just a few minutes, Clary whispered the words that she had been dreading to say.
“I’m a lesbian.”
Maia didn’t know what to say. She looked down at the breathtakingly beautiful girl on her chest, trying to give some kind of encouragement or reassurance with her gaze, but the girl wouldn’t look at her. She was staring off into space, as if she was talking to herself more than Maia.
“What I felt, kissing you… I have never felt that before. Ever.” She let a few more tears go, sniffling. “Because it was real. It was the only real thing, only real kiss I have ever felt.”
Maia started to rub circles again as more hot tears trailed down Clary’s cheeks. She wanted to say something, but she also wanted to just listen. She knew the importance and benefits of silent support, and knew that sometimes the silence is better than any words that anyone can say.
“Everything else was fake. Jace, Simon… It was all fake and I acted like it wasn’t but it was. I thought Jace was the one because he had to be. He saved me and helped me and was like a storybook prince and I had to be his princess. I felt like it should have been love so I thought I felt love.”
She wasn’t crying anymore, but she sounded even more miserable, and Maia’s heart broke for Clary with every syllable that was spoken.
“Simon was right out of a romance movie. It was the best friend that I was supposed to be with all along. A knight in shining armor hiding in plain sight. It’s so romantic, but I didn’t *feel* it. I remember thinking ‘this is it? This is all I get?’. He didn’t deserve that”.
She finally shifted into a sitting position, facing Maia and looking into her eyes.
“Neither of them deserved it”.
Maia slowly brought her hand to Clary’s face, giving her time to protest if she wanted to. Clary just sighed and melted into the hand on her cheek, the warmth feeling good after cooled tears drying upon her skin.
“You didn’t deserve it either”.
The words sent chills through Clary, and they eventually bubbles up into light laughter.
“You know what?” She asked through her giggles. “I really didn’t.”
Maia beamed brightly as she watched her favourite girl in the world laugh, longing to hear that laugh even more. Possibly every day for the rest of her life.
Clary sobered quickly, clearing her throat. “I should probably tell Jace. I broke up with him last night after you and I… Well I never gave him an explanation.”
Maia’s smile widened again, happy that their kiss last night was so overwhelmingly real that Clary had a hard time speaking of it. The fact that Clary had thought it was the most genuine romantic thing to happen to her made Maia’s heart swell with joy. This girl was so adorable and beautiful and pure, and Maia wanted to keep her.
“After you tell him… Do you think maybe…” Maia felt her cheeks heating. Has she ever been this nervous with anyone else? She was always so confident. “Do you think we could try something out? A relationship?”
She bit her lip, staring into Clary’s eyes anxiously.
Clary giggled again, a truly glorious sound.
“Of course. I was never afraid of you, I was afraid of me. I guess I had to just… Let it all out.”
Maia felt like her cheeks were going to burst from her wide smile, but she didn’t care. She loved this moment, and would cherish it forever, no matter the outcome of the relationship.
“Come on.” Clary said, standing up and holding her hand out for Maia. “I don’t know how long it’s been but we might be able to catch some of Simon’s performance if we hurry.”
Maia raised an eyebrow playfully “Clary Fray, are you asking me on a date?”
Clary bit her lip and played along. “Maybe…”
Maia grinned and grabbed Clary’s hand, letting her pull her up. “I gladly accept.”
They both laughed as they entered the bar, happy and excited for what lies ahead of them.