Work Text:
In this lifetime
“That’s a good choice.” Daniel took the pendant from its place on his stand. It was a deep blue orb wrapped in a gold metal string. When it hits the light just right, you can see a spectacular bright gleam. “Who’s it for?”
“Someone very special to me.” Seongwoo smiled. And when he smiled it was as if there was no one in the bustling market, silence enveloping them.
“I’m sure she’ll like it.” Daniel replied.
“Excuse me?” Seongwoo raised one brow in question.
“You’re still seeing Minhi, aren’t you?” Daniel smiled. He always does but now it’s kind of pressed, forced.
“Minhi?” Seongwoo taps his chin with his index finger a few times. “The girl you set me up with? Again?”
“You say that like it’s a bad thing.” Daniel commented. “You know you can’t nab a date for your life.”
“Pretty sure people are lining up for a face like this.” Seongwoo leans his face closer toward Daniel’s for emphasis. Daniel backs away instinctively.
“And you remain single why?” Daniel crosses his arms over his chest, thinking he’s proven his point.
“They’re not the one, Daniel.”
Kang Daniel doesn’t know why he agreed to join the second season of the famous show Produce 101, but here he is anyway. It was more than just everyone who supported him and believed in him urging him to do so. He just had a feeling. It was strange but he just knew it would be right. He sat down with his fellow trainees from their company chatting about as the evaluation continues.
Eyes were glued to the Fantagio trainee now. Daniel recognized the song as soon as it started. He thought that this guy must be out of his mind to be singing and dancing to an English song. However, this guy proved that he could only blow everyone away by his talent and confidence.
“Wow, he’s good.” Daniel said to no one in particular. He was very drawn to this guy. Was it because of his skills and striking visuals? Likely, but it was something more than that.
“So what do you think?” Seongwoo asked after singing to Daniel a sample of his next single.
“You were definitely flat at the end.” Daniel teased to which Seongwoo pouted. He pretended to sulk making Daniel roll his eyes. Despite himself, he put an arm over Seongwoo’s shoulders and pulled him closer to him. Being with Seongwoo immediately puts a smile on Daniel’s face because of the intense familiarity. He doesn’t know if Seongwoo is aware but this is definitely what he looks forward to in every life.
“I’m kidding, okay? You sounded amazing as usual.” Daniel said with such gentleness.
“Thank you my minion.” Seongwoo grinned, happy as usual to receive praise. “Now go beat someone up for me.” Daniel chuckled at the empty demand thrown at him.
“I’m your bodyguard, not your minion.”
“You’re neither. You’re my best friend.”
Daniel was more than thrilled to be able to transfer from his previous rank B to A. That must mean that he’s seen as someone with potential and he can work with that. He can show people that he really is cut out for this. He enters the room and sees his much younger friend Woojin. Daniel smiles at him and Woojin returns the gesture. He greets everyone else in the room and when he turns his head he sees none other than Ong Seongwoo who has impressed him from day one.
And something clicks.
From then on, Daniel has been more and more attentive. He finds it endearing how Seongwoo wants to make everybody around him laugh and considers it an accomplishment when everyone does. He can’t help but find it adorable when Seongwoo shows off his ear popping, proud of a talent he says is unique to him. Daniel notices himself, too. How he’s just candid around Seongwoo, like he’s not thinking of his image or what others think of him. He just thinks of his natural self, how Seongwoo brings that out in him.
Daniel’s not completely sure about Seongwoo just yet. But he does knows that he hasn’t met him yet, so this attraction to Seongwoo must count for something.
Seongwoo paced back and forth, waiting by his phone for someone, anyone really, to call. It’s been a few days already and his concern was getting out of hand. He was sure his parents had mentioned something about just getting a new one but they could never understand the value of Peppermint. A loud ring brings him out of his pessimistic thoughts. It was the doorbell.
He went over to open the door and was surprised to see a stranger grinning at him. When his eyes landed to the small dog in said stranger’s arms, he felt ecstasy take over him.
“Thank you!” Seongwoo exclaimed, taking the dog out of his hands.
“No problem.” Daniel grinned. “I just saw the little guy a few days ago and loved animals so much I took him in, thinking he was a stray. I didn’t realize he was actually a missing pet until I saw one of your posters earlier and immediately came to return him.”
“Thank you for your honesty. It must have been hard to part with Peppermint since she’s a very sweet dog.” Seongwoo’s smile never dropped for a moment. How could he when his beloved pet had finally came back to him?
“She?” Daniel tilted his head to the side in confusion. “Peppermint is a girl?” Seongwoo stared at Daniel for a while and blinked. After processing what Daniel said and seeing the embarrassment in the other’s face he broke into laughter. Unknown to him, Daniel smiled brightly at the sight. He loved making Seongwoo laugh and thought himself lucky he had been making him laugh since God knows when.
“Come in, come in.” Seongwoo gestures. “I have to reward my Peppermint’s savior.”
Daniel was overjoyed knowing who his teammates were in their performance for Sorry Sorry. Given it was especially because of Seongwoo who he wanted to get to know better. All of them have been giving their all in their practices but haven’t forgotten to have fun. At some point during their break, they decided to play an innocent game of hide and seek with Jaehwan (after many loud complaints) had finally agreed to be ‘it’ (Minhyun argued that it Jaehwan should just suck it up and accept the fact that he sucks at rock, paper, scissors).
Daniel made a run for it, seeing as Jaehwan was cheating and counting faster than he should. Without thinking, he opened a random supply closet and squeezed himself inside. It was cramped and he was pretty sure a mop was pushing itself into his ass but his competitive side took over, convincing him to hold it in for a few more moments.
“Sorry, but last I checked this cubicle was occupied.” a voice said from behind him, making Daniel jump. “Hey, hey easy Busan boy. Jaehwan might catch us if we aren’t going to keep quiet.” It was dark but Daniel recognized the voice.
“Seongwoo?” he asked without turning back. Well, not like he could. The space didn’t really allow either of them to move freely.
“What? No hyung?” Seongwoo pretended to scold but the age boundary came down long before this.
“What difference is a year?” Daniel answered back.
“Ah what a disrespectful little brat you’re being.” Seongwoo pulled on Daniel’s cheeks and when that didn’t prove to be annoying enough had poked his sides.
“Yah! Okay, okay just stop.” Daniel laughed. “That tickles you know!” Daniel pleaded but Seongwoo was having too much fun. They only stopped when the door to the closet opened, revealing none other than Kim Jaehwan.
“Found you!” He exclaimed.
“Took the words right out of my mouth.” Daniel smiled.
“What was that?” Seongwoo asked.
“Ah, sorry. I talk to myself sometimes.”
“What inspired you to write your recent novel?” another interviewer spoke.
Seongwoo hummed in approval at the question. He was anticipating someone to wonder after all since he usually wrote tragedies and now he comes back with a romance. “Well, it was probably the people I surrounded myself with. I’ve been writing so much tragedies my parents even asked if I was sincerely okay.” This elicited light laughter among the crowd. “So it got me thinking of other emotions I enjoyed feeling and thought of love.”
“Could this mean that you’re actually in love?” the same interviewer interjected. Seongwoo’s smile was mysterious but his next words revealed the truth.
“Actually, maybe I am.”
The press conference ended with much buzz due to Seongwoo’s final comments. Daniel immediately went over to him.
“Maybe I am, huh?” Daniel nudged Seongwoo with his shoulder. Seongwoo being Seongwoo pretended it hurt and rubbed his shoulder.
“Jealous, baby?” Seongwoo grinned. Daniel scoffed at his writer’s idea of humor.
“Editor, not baby.” Daniel corrected.
“Ah, you’re really no fun always shooting me down.” Seongwoo said running a hand through his head in mock frustration.
“So who’s your muse?” Daniel asked more seriously.
“Would you believe me if I said it was you?” Daniel wanted to.
“Yeah, right. Tell me the truth.”
Daniel’s heart was going to beat out of his chest. They had just performed Get Ugly and he didn’t know if the erratic beating was coming from trying to get blood pumping normally or the adrenaline of receiving their results. Amidst the rush, Daniel had the instinct to hold Seongwoo’s hand. He caught himself at the natural reflex of reaching over for Seongwoo’s hand.
Before he could stop himself, however, it seemed that Seongwoo had noticed and had already offered his hand to Daniel. Without thinking about it further, Daniel intertwined their fingers and that was it for him.
It was the candidness, the feeling of ease, the simple way their hands fit perfectly. This was him. And as usual, Daniel would see to it that Seongwoo had only the best for him.
“Ah Seongwoo feth me my watah!” Seongwoo mocked their master.
“You know you’re going to get in trouble.” Daniel warned but laughed at his mannerisms despite himself.
“Ah but Daniel you’re master’s favorite because,” at this Seongwoo’s voice turned sickeningly sweet. “You’re just soooo cute.” Afterwards he pretends to gag and Daniel laughs some more. But Daniel’s laughter dies and Seongwoo’s gagging turns into a fake cough as their legitimate master passes by their quarters. She glares at them (just Seongwoo, really).
“What are we talking about here?” she inquires.
“Ah, nothing miss.” Daniel spoke up. “Do you have any more tasks for us to do?”
“Well the weeds in the garden need some pulling and that’s about it.” she replied. “Seong-”
“I’ll be right on it!” Daniel exclaimed. “No need to worry, consider it done.” There was something about the tone in Daniel’s voice that translated into finality, even their master could not object at especially at the gaze Daniel was holding. She simply went off, giving Seongwoo a reason to sigh in relief.
“Thanks for taking the heat.” Seongwoo said, clapping his hand over Daniel’s shoulder. “Come on, I’ll help you pull those pesky weeds.”
“No, allow me.” Daniel smiled. The look of confusion on Seongwoo told Daniel he needed more of an explanation. “You’ve done enough for today and I know you’re tired. Just rest and let me.” Daniel held onto Seongwoo’s hand still on his shoulder and smiled before leaving.
Daniel couldn’t believe that among a hundred boys, he would be part of the group that will debut. And if that was hard enough to comprehend, what more the fact that he was chosen to be the center. He felt proud of himself but this definitely put a little more pressure on him. But more than these, he felt like he was high on happiness.
Seongwoo always reassured him, told him that they would definitely debut together and now it was finally happening. He looked down at the floor, deep in thought. The cameras had stopped rolling and the hype had somewhat died down. For a few moments, he had silence to recollect his thoughts. He immediately smiles at a now valued memory that occurred just a while ago.
When Seongwoo’s name was called, the whole world stilled for Daniel. He looked around at the expressions of everyone and when his eyes landed on Seongwoo, time decided to continue. He couldn’t contain his excitement for his best friend achieving his dream. Daniel was still terrified of what fate had in store for him but for a few minutes he could only think about Seongwoo and his accomplishment.
And for the next few minutes, he could only think about how they locked eyes and from across the crowd Daniel had felt in the pit of his stomach that he had to close the gap between them immediately. He hoped that the gleam in Seongwoo’s eyes signaled the same thing. They ran towards each other and shared a tight hug. Daniel was so happy feeling like he belonged he never wanted to let go.
“So that’s what it felt like having the whole world in your arms.” he said to himself, smiling shyly.
“Daniel! Are you coming?” said boy turned his head to be met with none other than his world.
“What’s this?” Seongwoo asked, inspecting the brochure handed over to him.
“It’s a great opportunity.” Daniel answered.
“But this is basically the other side of the world.” Seongwoo frowned.
“It’s just five hours ahead and an opportunity any dancer would kill for.” Daniel encouraged, keeping the supportive smile on his face.
“Then why don’t you audition for it instead?” Seongwoo said. “You’re much more skilled than me, Daniel.”
“You know that’s not true.” Daniel replied. “Just try to audition. For me?” Seongwoo hesitated, but the way Daniel was looking at him with much eagerness made him cave.
“Fine. For you.”
It’s been a little over two weeks since Seongwoo left and Daniel realized the studio felt more like a torture chamber. He used to love this place, the energy it gave off and the inspiration he would always find to choreograph new moves. However, since Seongwoo wasn’t there anymore, dancing seemed more and more like a heavy reminder of someone he lost.
He stopped dancing.
Daniel lay awake, the red band keeping him and Seongwoo together making his wrist itch but he couldn’t be bothered to scratch it. How could he when the most gorgeous man he has ever seen lay right beside him? He didn’t mean to stare at Seongwoo as he slept, but he rolled over to his side and was captivated. Even in the dark, Daniel could make out the soft features of Seongwoo’s face. Not like he needed the light when it was practically engraved in his memory already.
Daniel was deep in thought, trying to recall Seongwoo’s physical attributes. His raven black hair that could be styled in any way, but his personal favorite had to be the comma style. He had three moles on his left cheek forming a perfect triangle. His teeth weren’t perfect but somehow it made him all the more attractive. His frame was lean and small, bringing out a sense of protectiveness from Daniel. But by far Daniel’s favorite had to be his eyes. All he had to do was look into them and it’s like he knew who he was as well.
Daniel thought of Seongwoo’s habits. He would grip the steering wheel of a car a little too tight when a turn was coming. He would cover his ears when he got scared. He seemed to be more comfortable winking with his right eye. When he was acting cute or imitating a child, he tended to shut both of his eyes and would fail at suppressing his smile. Some he might recognize, most he really hasn’t yet it all feels familiar.
And it’s the warmth of the familiarity that keeps him loyal and supportive to Seongwoo. It’s in this feeling that Daniel believes he was meant to live for Seongwoo but never by his side.
Daniel set the flowers by Seongwoo’s table. He knew that tulips were his favorite. He looked over at his friend’s pale face and listened to the heart monitor’ painfully slow beeps. Daniel was mildly convinced he was listening to his own heart breaking piece by piece. He sat beside Seongwoo’s sleeping figure. It hurt him to see that even breathing was becoming hard for him.
But this would be the last time they would be together since the decision of putting a stop to Seongwoo’s life support had been made. Once the machine was shut off, Seongwoo would have a few moments of consciousness- his last. No one from his family had wanted to be in the room when it happened but Daniel knew Seongwoo would feel sad if no one was there at his last moments. So no matter the agony, he would stay.
The doctors came and told him that they were about to end the life support. It bothered Daniel to see the life leave the person he thought of most dearly. The amount of preparation he thought he’d done before this moment could never suffice.
For the first time in months, Seongwoo opened his eyes. They were glazed over; the spirit in them long gone and only dissipating slowly. He had managed to turn his head to where Daniel was and for a moment he forgot he was going to die. Or maybe it reminded him of his death. They say that when you’re about to die a blinding light is supposed to greet you and Daniel was the light he was reaching for.
Daniel was surprised that Seongwoo had held his hand. It felt so cold, like he was already gone. He was certain his best friend had left but he heard it. His ears could be playing tricks on him but he was confident it was Seongwoo whispering to him.
“Thank you.”
Everyone else in the dorms were asleep but Daniel snuck out to the nook on the second floor. He sat down with his arms hugging his legs, eyes fixated on the wall. He thought about their Happy Together shooting earlier. How his heart leap to his throat when Seongwoo and him were asked to reenact a jealous couple. He couldn’t help but think back to Seongwoo’s words.
“Is it okay if I like this?” Daniel repeated to himself. “Yaaa!” He ruffled his hair and exhaled deeply.
“So this is where you’ve been.” Daniel jumped at the sudden presence of none other than Ong Seongwoo.
“Why are you up?” Daniel asked.
“I could ask you the same thing.” Seongwoo countered.
“Why are you up here?” Daniel rephrased.
“I could still ask you the same thing.” Seongwoo repeated with a wolfish grin. He sat beside Daniel and they both stared at the wall in front of them. “This is boring.”
“Go back to sleep, Seongwoo.” Daniel said gently. “You need rest. We have a busy schedule.”
“And you don’t?” Daniel rolled his eyes.
“Fine let’s go then.” Out of instinct, Daniel intertwined their hands and was about to lead them down the stairwell when Seongwoo spoke.
“You’re him, aren’t you?”
Daniel was sure this was supposed to confuse him but he stopped dead in his tracks when the question was raised. Could it actually be?
“Him?” Daniel muttered, turning back to look Seongwoo straight in the eyes. The eyes that told him who he was and maybe even who they were. He didn’t know if he ever wanted Seongwoo to be aware. He only knew that he was, after all.
“In every life, we always meet each other. I wasn’t sure if he knew I was aware.” Seongwoo explained slowly. “Are you him in this lifetime?”
Daniel couldn’t respond. He felt his heart beat uncontrollably followed by extreme stillness and then back to the fast inconsistency. He knew Seongwoo made him feel breathless but he didn’t know it could be this literal. Once he regained his composure, Daniel scratched the back of his head and looked away bashfully.
“Maybe I am.” he mumbled. He was expecting a bright smile or huge, any kind of warm greeting at all from the man that he has spent every life with. But he was only met with a slap on the arm. “Ow! What was that for?”
Daniel looked slightly annoyed but seeing the hurt glass over Seongwoo’s eyes instantly made him more concerned.
“Hey, are you okay?” Daniel frowned.
“Why would I be?” Seongwoo said in a low voice. It gave Daniel chills for reasons unexplainable.
“Tell me what you need.” Daniel said kindly.
“This isn’t it.” Seongwoo said in frustration. He yanked his hand away from Daniel’s as if he just touched extremely hot metal.
“Seongwoo.” Daniel opened his mouth to say more but was cut off by Seongwoo continuing his speech.
“You’re always so considerate to me. In every life we’ve lived it’s like you always think you know what’s best for me. You assume that these things will make me happy.” Seongwoo said. “Well now I think I deserve to be really, truly happy.”
“What are you-” Daniel decided to interrupt but Seongwoo wouldn’t let him.
“I thought at first that it might be some kind of curse. I kept meeting this amazing guy and yet he would always push me away. I thought that maybe you didn’t like me the way I liked you but with the way you treat me that was highly unlikely. And yes, I’m assuming that you like me because there is no other explanation given that I know you Daniel. I always have and I know well enough that you love to be blinded by your kindness.
“Has it ever occurred to you to actually ask me what would make me happy instead of incorrectly presuming things all the time?” Seongwoo’s tone held no venom. He was simply frustrated and Daniel held on to everything he said, slowly gaining hope as each word escaped from Seongwoo’s lips.
“Gee, maybe that pendant I bought all those years ago was for you and not some random girl you thought would be good for me. Maybe you were the one who always meant the most to me. Maybe I wanted nothing more than to be by your side.” Seongwoo continued his confession. “Because when I looked at you I knew it was love. It was love at first sight, at last sight, at every single sight.”
Seongwoo breathed in and out, tired from his sudden outburst. Daniel was still staring at him strangely, as if he was just a statue and not a living person. Could Seongwoo be wrong after all? That Daniel had only seen him as a friend? Worry and doubt started to cloud Seongwoo’s head. He opened his mouth to speak, to take it all back but couldn’t.
Because Daniel’s lips were pressed firmly against his.
“Stop talking, you’ve done enough of that.” Daniel whispered, mouth hovering over Seongwoo’s. “We need more of this.” Daniel said, closing the distance between their lips.
-
“Daniel!” A red-faced Seongwoo called out to him. Daniel was still feeling the adrenaline from their latest fan meeting. This crowd was especially pumped.
“What is it, love?” Daniel asked.
“You shouldn’t keep hyping them up like that.” Seongwoo said clearly embarrassed at the loud chanting of their ship name earlier when they reenacted a scene from the Korean drama Goblin.
“Are you insane?” Daniel grinned. “I waited a hundred lifetimes for this.”