Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Harry put on his black Henley as you were in the bathroom. You wash your teeth calmly; he never spends the night at your place. When you came back to your room, he had a package in his hand, glasses still off.

He hands it to you. Nothing fancy, just a plain brown box.

When you open it, you see a new phone. Or, to be precise, an old smartphone, but evidently doctored. Maybe by Harry?

He redden under your stare.

- Your phone is still out, isn't it? This one works. And it has some... Tweaking that could be useful for you.
- What kind of tweaks?- your voice betrays how you feel about his thoughtful gift.
- Reinforced glass, of course, a new operating system, 128GB of RAM, and it will have signal everywhere. Even in a tunnel. Ah, and a 24 hours of battery life.

You look at him and launch yourself at him to envelope him in the tightest hug ever. He melts in your arms.

- You didn't have to... Thanks! Do I owe you something?

His eyes are so beautiful like this, up close. He's flustered now, his neck all red and he looks everywhere except for you.

- Of course not! I'm just... Tired of trying to reach to you and never getting a text back. This is just being... Practical.

You raise a brown. He lets you go, slowly, and finishes putting on his black cap and black coat combo and as you look at him. He's as handsome as ever.

Of course that the first time you saw him he was like a dark angel. You thought he was one, concussed as you were, after getting mugged. Harry saved you from the robbers and even got your purse back to you, you didn't even know how.

You don't know what he does, just that he works for some kind of security firm or something. Not like a security guard; is evidently that Harry is too smart for that. And his ego... My God. Having listened to him a couple of times at the phone, berating anyone who was at the other end... You feel bad for those poor people.

You're distracted, so you startle as Harry kiss your cheek goodbye. He knows you're skittish and he doesn't take it personally.

He waves goodbye and you feel like the wife of a sailor, not knowing when you'll see him again. Even when he's not your husband and you promised yourself not to fall in love.

Too late, I guess.

Chapter Text

Is ridiculous, but the first time you kissed him you could swear he was more nervous than you. He kisses you timidly, like he expects you to bolt if he touches you any other place than your arm or your neck or your face; you feel how he relaxes under you, like a flower in the sun, his skin warming up and his hands wandering low, teasing at the edges of your underwear as you sit in his lap.

He has very interesting scars in his skin; several in his arms and hands, the scar tissue tickling your tender flesh, his fingers teasing you as he kisses your neck. He asks you to let him taste you, like he can't think of anything better.

He begs you for no marks and you ask him to mark you; he needs you to be gentle and you need him to be forceful; somehow you two start and stop, laugh and nap and tease and talk. And enjoy every moment. You haven’t had so much pleasure in a long time.

You knew almost nothing about this man a year ago; now you know very little about what he does, or about his family (you know he's a widower, and he has a little girl named Jesse. He even showed you some pictures), or his friends. He was this handsome stranger that you recognized at your favorite coffee shop and invited him a coffee in thanks for saving your life.

Somehow, you clicked. He's a man of very curt words and he doesn’t talk too much, but he's always kind with you. And truthful.

The second time you sleep together, after a handful of friendly dates, you told him you were getting feelings for him. And then, you don't talk to him for a month and a half, after he left your apartment without even talked about your feelings, or his lack of reciprocity (or not. He doesn’t talk about feelings) of them.

Of course, living in this dangerous times (do you dare to say his name? ZOOM), you write to him again, telling him that you miss him, that you could be just friends if that what he wants to be, but you need to take any piece of happiness you can find. That time is finite, and maybe tomorrow will be the end of the world. And you want to be with him, as much as he will allow you to be, no need to make this so messy.

And you wait. And then wait a little more.

And one night after getting back from the office, you find him sitting in the hallway, dark coat and black cap and those hipster glasses you sometimes make fun of; you open your arms and he fits just right. You missed him so much. And even when he doesn’t say so, his eyes and the rapid pace of his heart tells you just the same.

Chapter Text

*Hey*
Read 22.39
*Hello*
Read 23.40
*Are you mad at me*
Read 00.36
*Because if you're mad at me I'm sorry. I've been working on something*
Read 00.45
*And I told you I'm a really busy person*
Read 01.03
*I'm sorry*
Sent 01.30
*Call me please*
Sent 02.26
*Coffee at Jitters?*
Sent 09.08
*I'm here if you want to*
Sent 09.15
*I'm sorry*
Sent 09.55

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"So, you're not seeing him again? But..."
My ear hurts of how hard I'm pressing the phone against my ear. I've been talking with my best friend for an hour, and maybe I should spend some money in new headphones. I can see a lot of this little conversations in our future.
- Look, I really like the guy and you know it. Maybe even the other "L" word, you know? But, this is not working, not for me. Is been a year, a year! And he never told me he likes me or that he misses me or anything! I'm so tired of making excuses for him, how he's really busy, or working so hard or any other excuse...-
"I really thought you enjoyed it. Seeing him, I mean. You told me he's like, super smart and interesting and the sex! The sex is great!"

I feel myself redden. The sex is in fact, great. Harry is super sensitive and a generous lover. A sexy guy in my bed, a smart guy outside of bed. And interested in me? Jackpot. But...
- It just... Is not enough anymore Lau, is not. I'm tired of feeling alone. He doesn't answer my texts, and disappears for weeks, even months! The last time, a month and a half! I'm tired of being left on read!
"I know you're right, but you really like him! And the sex! Isn't that enough? You could keep him and at the same time, look for another guy! A guy you really want to date!"

I feel my eyes filling up with tears. My voice sounds a little hoarse when I speak.
- I want him. Not anyone else. And the sex is not enough. I have to Dua Lipa him or I'm going crazy.
"I love you and you are like my sister, so I'm telling you how it is: you can't resist him. If he calls you, you will answer. I know you, and that's OK. So maybe block him if you are sure. But maybe tell him first? Because if you don't, he will be at your door in a heartbeat, and I'm sure you want to avoid that, not having temptation at your door".

My chest feels tight.
- You're right, I have to. But not right now. Maybe, he deserves a little of his own medicine before that. After all, fair is fair, isn't it?