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Meet me at the lake. - E
Chidi clutches the note tightly in his pocket as he makes his way across the neighborhood. E, she’d signed it. It felt intimate somehow, and he had quickly stowed the note out of Angelique’s sight as soon as he spotted it pushed under their front door.
He’d made some excuse to slip away. Angelique never seems to question where he goes, even though he is constantly slipping away. She is so trusting. And why shouldn’t she be? He is her soulmate. Her other half. He would never do anything to cause her harm.
His stomach twists with guilt.
Chidi makes the final turn in the path and the lake comes into view. Eleanor is standing on the dock, her hands in her back pockets, smiling warmly at him. She looks radiant; it’s hard to look directly at her. There’s a rowboat knocking gently against the dock and, just next to it, a large picnic basket, full to bursting. He sees a bottle of wine poking out; he’s sure there’s a book of French poetry in there, too.
“Hi,” she says cheerfully, as he reaches her.
“What’s all this?” he asks, even though he knows.
“An apology. I just wanted to say I’m sorry for yesterday. It’s not fair of me to demand so much of your time–”
He interrupts her, pushing up his glasses, which are smudged with stress grease, “Eleanor, I’m the one who should be apologizing. I was out of line. I wasn’t even mad at you, I was just– I was just frustrated with myself and lashing out at you.”
“No, you were right! You should be out on a rowboat reading lame poetry,” she gestures to the boat and basket behind her. “So, go get Angelique and you two can live it up nerd style. You deserve it.” She fixes him with a bright smile he doesn’t deserve.
Chidi shakes his head, but he can’t seem to formulate the words to tell her how wrong she’s gotten it.
“It’s cool, man. I totally get it,” Eleanor continues. “You shouldn’t have to spend your days cooped up in my clown murder house trying to teach me how to be nice. I mean, this is heaven, right?”
Chidi shakes his head again and steels himself, “It’s not that I don’t like spending time with you, Eleanor. I do like spending time with you.” He hesitates for a moment, then adds slowly, “I like spending time with you…more than I like spending time with Angelique.”
“Oh.” She looks puzzled for a moment. He watches the realization wash over her. “Oh,” she repeats.
“Yeah,” he sighs and sits down on a low wooden bench on the dock and stares out over the lake. Chidi doesn’t think he’s ever seen a vista more perfect. His jaw tightens in frustration. How is he so unhappy in this perfect place? Even with the universe presenting him with his absolute match, his soulmate, he’s incapable of enjoying anything without second guessing it, ruining it. He’s incapable of just being happy. He’s defective, broken.
After a moment Eleanor sits down beside him. She stares out at the lake as she says carefully, “I don’t know if this helps, but I like spending time with you, too.”
Chidi lets out a tiny gasp of a laugh and shakes his head, “No, Eleanor, that definitely does not help.”
“Right,” she says, and she laughs, too.
Then they’re both laughing, hard, because what else can they possibly do? Trapped in paradise for an eternity together, apart. A cosmic joke.
He was lying, of course. It does help that Eleanor feels it, too. It doesn’t change their situation or ease his perpetual stomach ache, but it makes him feel less broken somehow.
The laughter dies away and they finally look over at each other. She’s smiling sadly, biting her lip slightly. He wants her to say something, but he’s not sure what. Her eyes flicker to his mouth and for a moment, he thinks she might lean forward and kiss him. The thought terrifies and thrills him in equal measure because he knows without a doubt that if she does, he will kiss her back.
But she doesn’t kiss him. She stands up and brushes imaginary dust off her pants. Chidi stands, too. He shoves his hands in his pockets, and grips her note tightly.
“I should go, I guess?” Eleanor says it like a question, like she wants him to tell her not to go. He wants to tell her not to go. But he nods, so she turns away and walks slowly up the path and out of sight.
Chidi stands alone on the dock, looking out over the pristine lake and thinks, This is heaven, right?