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Rin was currently lying in his bed in his dorm room. Arms behind his head, he sighed quietly. Something had been on his mind recently and it was bothering him immensely. Why exactly was it that he couldn't stop thinking of Haru? Sure they were friends and all and met up pretty often, even outside of the joint practices. Though it wasn't normal to always think about your friends like this, was it? Just the thought of Haru's rippling muscles as he swam beautifully in the water made Rin's heart pound. The black silky hair he always thought of touching, since it looked really soft. Hell there was also his eyes that looked as if they could see through everything. They were as blue as the ocean that Haru loved so much. Once again Rin sighed.
When he thought about it more and more (especially Haru) things were starting to make sense. He hadn't really been interested in girls, sure he got along with them really well but it was not as if he ever thought if dating any of the ones he had become friends with. Some had tried to take it a step further but he had always refused with he excuse being that he needed to concentrate on swimming. Therefore not having enough time to be in a serious relationship. Though when it came to Haru it seemed like he always made time for him for them to spend time together. Maybe he was lucky he was really smart so be didn't have to put that much effort into studying.
Though it was always fun to help Haru with his English homework since that was apparently Haru's worst subject. Rin would usually then tease Haru a lot and brag about his good English skills and sometimes say a sentence or two that Haru never understood for which he was glad for. Well, the things he said in English could be such things as telling Haru he was cute or something like that. He would never dream of saying that in Japanese and a wide grin as well as heat started on his face at the memory. That cute little pour that would appear on Haru's face was totally worth it and he somehow wished that no one else saw that. That sort of expression he wanted for his own. Maybe he was also cause already. If he thought these sort of things about Haru...well there was no denying it that he liked him more than as a friend.
Now he hard part was how he was going to deal with this new realisation. Since he hasn't even realised it himself at first, he had no idea what Haru thought of him. It wasn't as if he didn't like the others company, but he couldn't tell if Haru had ever thought of being more than friends. This was really exciting and at the same time vexing for Rin. How was he going to tell this to Haru? Lost in his own thoughts, he didn't notice the small knocking on his door to his dorm room. A bit more loudly this time, Rin was startled and grunted as he got up from his bed. Who would visit him at this hour on a weekday? He walked over to the door whilst muttering under his breath and yanked to door open.
Of all the people that could have decided to visit him... Rin's mouth fell open and he dumbly stared at the person standing outside if his dorm room. It was Haru. That was something he had not expected. Eventually Haru said "Are you going to let me in or not?" With eyebrows slightly furrowed in irritation. Rin snapped out of his trance and moved out of the way to let in Haru whilst saying "yeah sure". What the hell was he doing here? Sure He had told him that Nitori was too sick right now to be in the same room as he him but he hadn't expected him to visit all of sudden, without notice. Haru just walked into his room casually and sat down on his bottom bunk bed.
Rin couldn't do anything but stare at him since there was t really anything to do in his dorm room. If they were at Haru's place at least there would be something they could. He also didn't think Haru was the kind of person to go out of his way and come to his place like this. Haru was good looking, he noted. Right now sitting on his bed Haru was wearing dark blue jeans, almost black that were slightly rolled up and a marine blue v-neck t-shirt. Rin swallowed and tried to calm down his racing heart.
Usually Rin would have no problem chattering and Haru just nodding or humming in reply but the silence was unmistakable. Instead of just standing though he decided to at least sit down so walked over to Haru and flopped down beside him. With a dry throat he still couldn't get any words out and hopefully Haru would at least say something.
After several minutes of awkward silence Rin couldn't stand it anymore and said "So... What are you doing here anyway?" With a slightly raspy voice and cursed at himself inwardly and hoped Haru hadn't noticed. Damn it, he didn't mean to make it sound like he wanted him to just go either. More like he didn't want him to go at all. "I want to swim. With you" Haru said in a dry voice. Maybe he did was a bit annoyed at him after all. "What? You came all the way here for that? It's not like I can sneak in to the pool too often you know, I'll get in trouble for that." He said, a bit annoyed. Although Haru had said he wanted to swim with him, he had hoped Haru would have come all they way to see him. Not just want to swim with him. Well, for Haru to say something like that was still quite incredible but he didn't know if it actually meant something. It was after all the same thing he had said when they were going to swim the relay together.
With the look Haru had on his face though, eyes shining and lips curved a little in the corners close to a small fine. There was no way he could refuse Haru when he had that look. He sighed in defeat "Fine! But if we get discovered I'll kill you!" He said heatedly.
Unlike Haru, he wasn't wearing his swimsuit and grabbed it before they made their way to the natatorium. Their steps echoed as they walked, it had already become evening and not a soul could be seen. Everyone in the dorms were probably preparing to go to bed or too tired to go out of their dorm rooms. Rin stuck his hands in his pockets and Haru trailed beside him.
When they arrived to the natatorium Rin muttered that he had to change first and Haru stripped within lightning speed and dove gracefully into the pool. Rin watched intently and just as Haru's was about to resurface he whipped around quickly not wanting to be caught staring. For the last half an hour Rin's heart had been pounding like crazy and he felt warm. With quick steps he made his way to the locker rooms to change, glad for the short time to himself. Whilst changing he tried to will his heart to calm down but it was impossible. He was just as quick as Haru to undress and the short amount of time was not enough to get his nerves in order.
As he walked out of the locker room and walked to one of the starting blocks, he saw that Haru was leisurely floating in the pool looking completely at ease. What was the point if Haru wanting to swim with him if all he did was just float? It seemed as if Haru hadn't noticed his presence so he changed his mind and sat down at the edge of the pool with his legs dangling in the water instead.
It was quite dark by now and the only light came from the moon and the dimly lit lamps in the pool. To tell the truth, Rin would rather just sit and watch Haru instead of swim himself too. It had been an exhausting day and he wasn’t the type to just float in his back. On instinct he'd just start swimming.
All of a sudden, Haru's head appeared right beside Rin's dangling legs. "Aren't you going to swim?" Haru said. Rin yelped in surprise and grunted out "What if I don't feel like it?" Which was entirely true. Though he hoped Haru wouldn't think too much of the fact that he had still bothered to change into his swimsuit. When Rin turned to look at Haru, he noticed that the other looked almost...sad. Why would he do that he thought...what if he remembered what he had said before? About not going to swim him again... He really hoped not.
"Do you... Not want to swim with me?" Haru mumbled. Rin felt his heart constrict. So he was thinking about that. Running his hand through his hair in frustration, he jumped down into the pool. Since Haru was already close, he just had to take a few steps until he was standing close right in front of Haru. "Did you have to say that?" He muttered and a little louder he said "It's not that...I'm just exhausted, okay?" Rin said and turned his head to the side. Right now he couldn't look Haru in the eyes.
Haru then proceeded to do something Rin would never have he would do. Rin felt strong arms wrap around him as Haru, of all people, hugged him. Too surprised to do anything, Rin just stood there silently, arms hanging limp on his sides. As his cheeks were becoming warm and his heart beating at an alarmingly fast pace Rin stuttered out "H-Haru...?" Hot breath tickled his throat and Rin swallowed. "Rin...I...love you..." Haru said softly. With eyes wide in pure shock, Rin opened his mouth to say something but couldn't manage to get anything out of his mouth.
He just couldn't believe what Haru had just said. His was too sudden for him to digest. Just earlier hat day he had realised he did like Haru more than just a friend but still didn't know just how deep his feelings were yet. That was why he couldn't and didn't know how to react. But with he sincerity that Haru had said hat just now...well he knew hat his feelings are indeed deep for him. Which shocked him. That was something he hadn't expected. At all.
That's why he was still unable to react as Haru let go of him kissed his cheek. The look on Haru's face was also incredible. His eyes were shining, a small blush adorned his face and there was a soft smile aimed at him. Before Rin as able to react, Haru had gotten out of the pool and left him there still standing in the water alone. Rin could do nothing else than to watch Haru's retreating back in the dim light. A tirade of curses left his mouth and he as well got up from he pool rapidly.
By the time he had gotten out to the corridor, Haru was nowhere to be seen. It wasn't as if he could call him either since Haru didn't carry his phone with him and Rin doubted he even knew how to use it. There was no choice but to saunter back to his dorm room. Though he had he feeling he wouldn't get any sleep this night. Right now he could punch himself. Why hadn't he reacted at all? Not even returned the embrace? Now Haru for sure might think his feelings were one-sided.
Well, there was nothing he could do about it now anyway he though as he flopped down on his bunk bed. Better try and get some sleep, he muttered quietly to himself. That turned out to be harder than he thought. Too many thoughts were running in his mind and somehow he had a bad feeling in his gut that he shouldn't shake off, even though he was supposed to indulge in he happiness hat Haru had returned his feelings. After hours of tossing and turning he finally managed to fall asleep in a restless sleep.
The next morning, Rin woke up to the annoying sound of his phone ringing. Finally having a sleep in, he tried to ignore his phone but it kept ringing and he grunted as answered with a venomous "what is it?" Not bothering to say hi or even check who the caller was. There was a loud sob that was followed by a stuttered "R-R-Rin..." Wait. Was that Makoto? And why was he crying...? Rin was immediately awake and bolted upright. The bad feeling he had from yesterday came back and he managed to ask "what's wrong?" With a strained voice. There was yet another sob in he background and heard Makoto take a deep breath. "Haru... He...he... Didn't make it..." What was Makoto talking about...? Before panic gripped him completely he said "what are you talking about?" "Didn't Haru tell you yesterday...?" Makoto said in a low voice. Now Rin was almost getting annoyed. "Tell me what? Just spit it out already!"
Now Rin was panicking. He couldn't care less that he lashed out at Makoto. He just wanted to know what was wrong with Haru. Before he made any conclusions, he wanted to hear it from Makoto. "Haru...he knew there was something wrong with his heart. Today was his surgery and there wasn't a big chance that he would survive. Rin, I really thought he told you yesterday. He told me he would and now he's....he's dead, Rin..." Now the sobs on he other side of he line were loud.
Rin on the other hand, couldn't move a muscle...Haru was...dead? No. No. No. That couldn't be true. Just yesterday Haru had told him he loved him. And then it came all together. Haru knew he was going to die. That's why he told him. And Rin had been too stupid and hadn't told him back. Now Haru was never going to know. That was he final straw for him and he broke down crying whilst whispering "Haru...Haru...Haru..." Over and over again.