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“Maybe it’s another Lee Sungyeol.” Sungjong rubs his head. “This doesn’t make sense.”
“Why not?” Myungsoo rubs the inside of his wrist, where his tattoo is located.
A nervous habit he picked up during high-school, for some reason, perhaps thinking that his soulmate could feel it somehow when he touched it.
He thinks Sungyeol is perfect. It’s him. He believes it.
His eyes can’t stop following him around the room, and his hand still tingled from his touch when they shook friendly hands.
He chickened out after Sungyeol introduced himself - his heart beating in his ears and muting out the loud music in the room. It’s weird how he spent his entire life planning how this moment will go, but it’s nothing he ever imagined it will be. A loud college party, in the outskirts of the campus, with people piling in through all the doors and booze in every corner of the room. It’s true that you can never be prepared to meet your soulmate. Myungsoo was totally unprepared. How do you just tell somebody you’re bound to each other for life? He had no idea.
“Sungyeol has somebody else’s tattoo. A girl’s name.” Sungjong says, looking a bit uncomfortable. “It’s definitely another Sungyeol.” He adds, and shoves another cup of punch into Myungsoo’s chest.
Myungsoo glances at him - he’s laughing about something, and he has a bright beautiful smile and his gums show, and Myungsoo nods, and rolls his sleeve down.
“Can you, um… not tell him…?” He asks, uncertain, feeling like Sungjong might find it hilarious all of the sudden, and start announcing it around the room.
Sungjong glances at him and says; “Yeah. I won’t. Don’t worry.” and puts a hand on his shoulder, as if everything’s okay.
And it is okay, but for some reason, for the first time in his life, Myungsoo feels ashamed to show his wrist.
.
Only it is that Lee Sungyeol.
Sungjong got it wrong.
It can’t be anybody else.
He doesn’t know how to explain it - but he feels it.
He notices him around campus all the time for the rest of the semester. A glimpse of him, really, walking down the hall or when he’s just turning a corner. The way he tucks his hair behind his ear. How he always has a cup of americano in his hand in the morning.
Once in awhile, when they’re in a close proximity, Sungyeol even waves or nods his head hello. Myungsoo always has to stop himself from looking back after him, out of sheer fright.
He comes in to eat at Myungsoo’s part time job, a greasy establishment of fast food that Myungsoo detests every day a bit more - but now that the possibility arises that Sungyeol might wonder in, it’s suddenly the best job in the world. And now that he knows them, he notices Sungyeol and his friends are there a lot, giggling from their booth, and Myungsoo decides he’s never going to quit, because sometimes Sungyeol would glance at him or come to the counter to make the order, and every time Myungsoo’s ears get red, and his fingers shake as he presses the order on the touchscreen in front of him, hoping it won’t show.
But then, it gets hotter, and Sungyeol folds the sleeves of his jacket to his elbows. It’s right there, in the same spot as Myungsoo’s tattoo, in the same spot as almost everybody’s, right below the elbow, on the inner wrist, and it says ‘ Wendy ’. Not even a korean name, and no family name. Which is unusual by itself.
He doesn’t remember something hurting that much like his chest did that day. Not even when he broke his leg in second grade. It wasn’t the kind of pain that makes you scream or cry. It’s an ache that feels like his heart is shrinking inside his ribcage.
He’s wrong, he must be.
.
On the second term, Myungsoo’s favourite class is Mathematical Probability, because Sungyeol is there.
He keeps on fidgeting, playing with his pen, or shaking his leg. Too much coffee, Myungsoo thinks, then overlooks him writing that exact thing in the chatroom on his smartphone, and feels giddy all day for that reason alone.
On the third week, Sungyeol turns to him and asks to compare notes from last class, because he keep getting something wrong and suddenly it’s like they’re friends, and Sungyeol sits next to on thursday, though doesn’t speak all that much, just asks him if he likes cats.
It’s dumb to hope, he knows that.
He says that to the mirror, staring at himself in the morning, every day before classes.
He must be some kind of a freak, he thinks. No wonder he got bullied as a kid, he was always rather strange. Something was always unnatural about him.
Because it’s Sungyeol.
He just know it is.
But for Sungyeol, it’s somebody else.
He probably will never get to grow old with Sungyeol, or have a family with him. Sungyeol will find that person, his soulmate that bears his name on his wrist, eventually, and be happy, and a part of Myungsoo really wants Sungyeol to be happy. But there’s another part, an uglier part, that hopes.
.
It’s late on Sunday when Sungyeol comes into the restaurant, and Myungsoo thinks wow . He’s perfect.
He’s wearing a worn out hoodie and pajama pants, and his hair is ruffled from sleep, and it looks like he spent his entire weekend just sleeping and Myungsoo would like to do exactly that for the rest of his life, as long as it’s with him.
But he stands there, and talks about not getting some homework done and being sort of sick, then rubs his eyes, like they’re old friends, and Myungsoo would want to hear that sort of thing.
And Myungsoo does.
He thinks - maybe it wouldn’t be that bad to just be friends. At least to be a part of his life. How bad can that be?
He stares at the tattoo on his wrist, and Sungyeol notices and looks at it too.
“Think mine’s weird? I knew a dude that had just a heart shape. No name, nothing, just a black heart.”
“I’m sorry - for, um, staring, I know that’s rude.”
“No, it’s okay. Everybody stare when they see it. I guess it is really unusual when everybody have names. My mom had to put me in a support group for abnormals, though, so it made things a bit better. To meet other people like me.”
“Abnormals?” Myungsoo scrunches his face.
“That’s the legal name they use for us. People who have strange soulmate tattoos that don’t make sense. At least I have something written - some people in the group didn’t have a tattoo, at all.”
Myungsoo didn’t know that sort of thing is normal. He straightens his red uniform shirt, and thinks how hard must have it been for Sungyeol in his childhood. Suddenly his childhood seems like a piece of cake.
“I didn’t know that was a thing. Maybe I should go there too.”
“Why’s that?” Sungyeol glances at Myungsoo’s wrist, but thankfully it’s hidden by the sleeve. Myungsoo’s can hear his heart in his ears.
“I… got a name. But that person has another name.”
“Oh. Doesn’t it mean that maybe it’s somebody else with that name?”
“No. It’s him.” Myungsoo says, then can’t believe he said that out loud.
Sungyeol returns his eyes back to his face, and for a moment, Myungsoo is absolutely petrified. He feels like his muscles are so tense, they’re about to break.
“It’s crap, anyway.” Sungyeol shrugs; “My best friend met his soulmate, but all they ever do is fight and they have no idea how to be in a relationship. I feel kind of sorry for them. They just can’t seem to figure it out - and they’re meant to be together.”
Myungsoo swallows, then nods. “Yeah, there’s these free courses you can take at the community center - for… soulmate training. I heard people who never dated before because they were saving themselves from heartbreak, always have it rough at first. Maybe they should go there.”
Sungyeol cackles; “Yeah right. You don’t know Woohyun and Sunggyu. They’d both rather die than admit something’s wrong. Oh - shit, I’ve been standing here for like 15 minutes and forgot to order. One Son of Baconator. But with the medium size fries. I’m on a diet.”
Myungsoo snorts.
.
On wednesday after class, Myungsoo gets to spend the entire afternoon with Sungyeol.
He gets to stare at him while he talks, or even when he doesn’t, without it being creepy, when they start on the assignment.
He thinks he’s lucky.
And he should use it. Sungyeol may never meet a Wendy - or meet them, only to never understand it’s them. And they could be happy together.
Myungsoo thinks - probably a bit vain, on his part - that he could really make Sungyeol happy. Because he can imagine them falling in love, and not having all the other problems other people have, he can imagine them having an apartment together, or maybe even a house and a dog and a cat. And it wouldn’t matter what they have on their wrists, because Sungyeol would be happy, and at the end of the day, that’s the whole point isn’t it - to find somebody who could make you happy, right? Somebody to share your life with.
But he never acts upon these thoughts, never reaches out, or says anything, even when they stay talking underneath Sungyeol’s dork building until 6pm. Because he’s a chicken shit.
.
On friday Sungyeol drags him to a party, and Myungsoo meets his friends. There’s two girls, Jiae and Mijoo who keep giggling around him like two school girls, eyes filled with mischief; Sungyeol tells him not to take them too personally and that he found the wrong time to show up all cleaned up and handsome.
Myungsoo’s answer to that is; “You think I’m handsome?”
And Sungyeol has this small smile when he sips his beer and he says; “You heard wrong.”
“Did I?” He asks, because he knows he didn’t, and he had one cup of beer too much.
“You did.” Sungyeol insists, and drags him by the hand to meet his other friends.
Sunggyu and Woohyun are a bit mean to him; Sunggyu asks him what his parents do, and what he’s studying, and what his future plans are, and Woohyun keeps on making fun on his expanse and scanning him from head to do, as if finding faults - Myungsoo feels really uncomfortable, but eventually they start arguing about something between themselves, and lose interest in him.
Myungsoo slips away, when they start accusing each other of cheating, and tries to locate Sungyeol in the crowd, when Sungjong catches him; “Oh, hey! What are you doing here?” he yells over the music, and Myungsoo says; “Um, here with a friend,” but it doesn’t seem like Sungjong really hears him, because the music's too loud.
He turns to the girls that are with him, and seems to introduce Myungsoo to them, but Myungsoo’s ears are throbbing from the electronic beat; they’re too close to the speakers. All he can tell that Sungjong introduces him, as always, one of his best friend and that they went to high-school together, and all that, but he can’t follow the conversation at all, and he’d rather find Sungyeol.
One of the girls understands that he can’t really hear jackshit so she leans to his ear; “Hi! Sorry, it’s really loud here!”
“Yeah!” Myungsoo answers.
“I’m Son Seungwon.” She introduces herself, beaming; “But everybody call me Wendy.”
Myungsoo says; “Nice to meet you,” although probably much quieter than he should’ve.
He barely pays attention when she introduces her friends, by pointing at them, and only half nods when she asks him what major he is. He chokes something out, just to be polite, before excusing himself.
He steps outside, and tries to collect his thoughts, but it’s like somebody fucking stuffed his brain into a blender.
He feels a bit sick, too, but the air feels nice, so he just stands there, trying to have at least one coherent thought that doesn’t involve him murdering an innocent girl so he could have Sungyeol all to himself.
That by itself should have been a warning bell about his state of mind.
“There you are.” Sungyeol steps out to the balcony. “Whatcha doing?”
Myungsoo thinks too long what to answer, so Sungyeol finds his eyes, and looks at him; “You look really pale. Are you okay?”
“Yeah. Just… not feeling too well.” And it’s true. It’s true, he does feel horrible. He feels like just sitting on the grass for a few hours and trying to breathe through it.
Sungyeol looks worried, and nods; “How about I take Sunggyu’s car and drive you back to the dorm?”
“Okay,” Myungsoo feels horrible. Selfish. Terrible. He’ll probably end up in hell.
Sungyeol should stay at this party - he should stay at this party and meet Wendy. And fall in love. And find his happy ending. Not be miserable with him.
But Sungyeol returns, jingling the car keys and flaunting how he just got his license, even after the clerk at the DMV tried to discriminate him after she saw his soulmate-tattoo, and starts the engine, and now he’s not at the party anymore. And he’s not going to meet Wendy.
And he’s not going to fall in love with her.
And Myungsoo still got a shot.
Sungyeol parks the car next to his dorm building and asks; “Feeling any better?”
“No, a bit worse, actually.” He confesses, because he wants to do the right thing. And the right thing would be to tell Sungyeol.
“Seriously? What beer did you drink? Did you mix drinks or something? I’ll just take you to the hospital and—”
“No, it’s okay, Sungyeol. I’m— I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have agreed that you’d take me, I’m just… such a douchebag. God. You should go back to the party, because—”
“I don’t really go to parties.” Sungyeol suddenly says. “I actually hate how loud it is. And I don’t like that sometimes there’s girls going around, groping everybody’s wrists to see their soulmate tattoo.”
“Oh.”
“I just wanted you to meet my friends.” He snorts. “And for them to meet you.”
“Why?”
Sungyeol glances at him, nibbling at his lower lip for a moment, and then says; “Because, we’re kind of hooking up.” He snorts at himself; “And I don’t know. I want to do it right and to take it slow - So that’s why I’d rather stay with you, then go back to the party.”
Myungsoo stares at him, and there’s this knot in his throat. And he can’t swallow, or breathe.
He looks down at the gear between them, and only has the time to say; “Sungyeol—” before he kisses him.
It’s a soft kiss.
Gentle brush of lips on lips.
But it’s probably the best thing that ever happened to him, because he tastes sweet, sweeter than anything Myungsoo has ever tasted. He feels right. And he is right. He’s right for Myungsoo.
“Sungyeol, my—” He wants to fold his sleeve, and to show him, but Sungyeol puts his hand on Myungsoo’s shirt, to stop him.
“I don’t care. I like you.”
“I like you too. More than anybody I’ve liked before. My hands are shaking.”
Sungyeol laughs, even though it sounds a bit nervous and says; “Mine too.”
.
The next week is the best week in Myungsoo life.
Even though technically, nothing extraordinary happens. They mostly just text on the phone. They like the same bands. And Sungyeol likes OnePiece, too, and one time they play Fallout 4 until 3am in his dorm-room, after ordering Pizza.
They kiss 3 more times - and only on the third time, it’s a bit like in the movies, heated and sloppy, and Myungsoo can’t really control his hands, but all in all it’s careful, strangely slow and intense. He can’t really explain it; like they’re afraid to break each other, or do something that would ruin it. They get interrupted by Sungyeol’s roommate, Dongwoo, which is okay too, because Myungsoo’s heart might have stopped if they continued.
They even fall asleep together, and wake up beside each other - Myungsoo doesn’t ever want to wake up any other way.
But most of the time he’s just scared.
Not just scared, but terrified to the bones. Sungyeol might just slip between his fingers, like dry sand, so matter how hard he’ll try to clutch onto him, and that’s absolutely terrifying.
.
“Just parked the car. You done with work?”
Myungsoo looks back at the logo sign of the redheaded girl with the blue ponytails, he was ordered by his manager to clean before he goes and writes; “Yeah, I’m kinda done.”
Sungyeol sends a few celebrating emojis, and Myungsoo gets down the ladder to change from his uniform.
Usually he works every weekend, just because he can, this weekend he has a reason not to. It’s strangely exciting. He doesn’t even mind it when his douche of a manager scolds him for badly cleaning the sign - as if it’s not glaring enough. The entire campus comes to eat here anyway, it’s the nearest fast food restaurant, and it’s really cheap too, and students are always hungry.
He’s just walking out when he sees it, and it feels a little like the entire world just crumbled on top of it.
He just stands there, unable to walk.
Wendy from the party, and Sungyeol were just standing there - and now Sungyeol’s waving goodbye, looking perked up - and Myungsoo knows it, she probably told him her name. She’s the one from his tattoo. And her tattoo - she probably shares a tattoo with Myungsoo.
“Do you want to go to the campus square before we go to the movies? I just heard they’re giving out sample chocolates there or something.” Sungyeol looks excited.
Myungsoo nods, because he can’t produce words, so Sungyeol drags him by the hand.
It’s weird to walk hand in hand with somebody, intimate, and Myungsoo counts the seconds, because he knows he probably won’t ever get to do that again.
Sungyeol gets his chocolate, but it’s drippy, so they sit on a bench and watch the masses flock the chocolate stand like a bunch of starved zombies. At least, that’s how Sungyeol describes, even though he also did the exact same thing minutes ago.
“That girl you talked with.” Myungsoo says, when the silence stretches too long.
“Which one?” Sungyeol asks, as Myungsoo wonders if he really doesn’t remember or just pretending for his sake.
“Before we met?”
“Oh, Wendy?”
“You know her name?”
“Yeah, she’s in most of my classes. She’s also Architecture major but I think she—”
“That’s her.” Myungsoo says, a bit puzzled to how Sungyeol didn’t get it, yet, so he touches his wrist, where his tattoo is. “She’s your soulmate.”
“Myungsoo,” Sungyeol looks a bit amused, as if Myungsoo is playing a game with him, and adds; “You’re Wendy.”
“What?”
“You’re the guy that works at Wendy’s.”
“But - wait, so what? That’s not my name and—”
“It was for me, though. When I first met you, the music was loud, and I didn’t hear your name. I wanted to talk to you, because I thought you’re kind of cute, but you avoided me the entire night. And after that, when I tried to inquire about you, people would always go; ‘Ohh, the guy that works at Wendy’s’, and then we had this group chat for our class, and Jiae, that snotty little brat, told them all I’m crushing on to you, and they - they didn’t even know about my tattoo, but they just started referring to you as Wendy-guy or just Wendy. And Wendy - the one from my class - she already found her soulmate, and I never really considered her, because I was never attracted to her - but with you... I knew. That it’s you. You're my Wendy. She's just a Wendy. Also, it’s dumb that I had to wait until you were asleep to see the name on your wrist. I almost had an aneurysm when I saw it. I thought you really had somebody else’s name. That was such a shitty thing to do. Could’ve saved us both some heartache.” Sungyeol pushes at him, before taking another bite out of his chocolate-thing, and getting up.
Myungsoo just sits there, and tries to understand what’s happening, because his brain didn’t catch up yet. “Wait - what?”
“We’re soulmates, asshole. Get up already, we’re late for the movie.”