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It had started as a joke. Everyone kept saying Phichit and Emil should never be in the same room as each other or their combined powers of happiness would end the universe. Naturally, being teenage boys, Phichit and Emil immediately sought each other out on social media. Next time they were both at the same competition, at Junior Worlds, they found each other. One thing led to another, and the next thing they knew, they were in bed together and Phichit was freaking out about his coach killing him if he knew what Phichit was doing this close to a competition.
Emil cuddled up to him. “So you don’t tell him. Tell him we watched Dawn of the Dead or something.”
“Ciao Ciao would never believe that. He hosted a Halloween sleepover for everyone at the rink and we were supposed to do a zombie movie marathon that turned into me critiquing the makeup every time a zombie was on-screen. I thought Yuuri was going to throttle me.”
“Your coach hosted a sleepover? And no one sued him for inappropriately touching their child? America’s different than I thought!”
Phichit giggled. “One, Ciao Ciao’s reputation is too good for anyone to believe he was sleeping with one of his skaters, two, most of us are foreign and wouldn’t bother to tell our parents every detail of what we were doing, three, I’m the youngest one and I’m seventeen, everyone else is legally an adult, and four, his assistants were there too, there were witnesses that can verify that none of us ever snuck off with anyone.”
“Okay, so what kind of movies do you watch?”
“I can always tell him I was indoctrinating you into The King and the Skater fandom. That, he’d believe. Or that we were discussing hamsters.”
Emil laughed and poked Phichit's side. “For three hours?”
“Trust me. He’d believe that.”
“Heh. Okay. Our secret, then. Go with King and the Skater, I’ve seen it and if he asks me something about it I’ll be able to answer. I couldn’t tell you anything about hamsters other than they have balls that look like they’d be fun to have a human-sized version of.”
“Ha! Celestino wouldn’t blame you if your eyes glazed over and you just let me ramble without really absorbing any of it.”
“Okay." Emil rolled over so that he could look at Phichit better. "You’re moving up to seniors next season, aren’t you?”
“Yeah. So I probably won’t see you much.” Probably for the best anyway, so they wouldn't try to force a relationship.
“I’m planning on going with Mickey and Sara to their competitions. So that gets Worlds anyway, and possibly Grand Prix qualifiers, depending on assignments!”
For two years, every time they were at the same competition, Phichit and Emil would sneak off and hook up. It was fun, it was happy, and they always kept it a secret. It all came crashing down at the Grand Prix Finals in Barcelona. Phichit and Emil met up as usual, but this time, when Emil took Phichit back to his room to “watch Howl’s Moving Castle,” Phichit stopped him as he was getting undressed. “Emil, I… I’m sorry, but this is over. I can’t do this anymore.”
“Why not?” Emil buttoned his shirt back up and sat on the bed.
Phichit shoved his hands in his pockets. “Because I have a boyfriend now. One that’s more than hooking up in random cities when we both happen to be there. It’s a serious relationship, and continuing this thing with you would be cheating on him.”
“Fair enough, then.” Emil forced a grin that wasn’t quite its usual sunniness. “Who is it? Anyone I know? I’d guess Yuuri, but… I watched the Cup of China and saw them at Rostelecom. So…”
“I…” Phichit leaned up against the wall, not able to meet Emil’s eyes. “I can’t tell you.”
“Why not?”
“Because it’s another secret relationship.”
Emil’s smile disappeared, replaced with anger. “I’ve kept this secret pretty well, wouldn’t you say? No one suspects a thing.”
“Yeah, but this one’s about you, and if it got out, the worst that happens is my boyfriend asks if we’ve done anything since the Cup of China or my coach yells at me for all the times I lied to him to see you or your coach or your friends yell at you for lying. If the new one got out, the consequences are a lot more serious. For you and me, the sneaking around was one part avoiding trouble with our coaches, one part that was half the thrill of it. For me and him…” Phichit shook his head. “I’m not exaggerating when I say careers could be ruined. We have to keep it secret.”
“Why would you get into a relationship like that? What is with you and secret relationships anyway, as public as you are about literally everything else?”
“With you? It was fun, keeping that secret! You never had a problem with it, so I thought you were having fun with it too.”
“I wanted to tell everyone! I wanted things to be more than just sneaking around at competitions. I tried to tell you that, so don’t give me an innocent face and a ‘I didn’t know’ excuse, you didn’t know I wanted to make this a real, public, normal relationship because you didn’t want to know that, so that when you finally got bored and moved on you wouldn’t have to feel the guilt.” Emil got up and moved to stand in front of Phichit. “Well, too bad, I’m making sure you know now. I’m not letting you off the hook. You hurt me, and if you didn’t know you were going to hurt me, you should have.”
“What about Michele? You can’t tell me you don’t want him, and now with Sara insisting on going her own way…”
“I wasn’t going to break up with you for him, not without trying once more to get through to you and make you see what I wanted from you! Besides, Cup of China? That happened at Rostelecom three weeks later, so that’s no excuse. Maybe I will get with Michele, but not until I’ve had the chance to work through this bullshit you’ve dropped on me. That’s not fair to him. I hope things work out for you and your new boyfriend and I’ll never ask you about him again. In public things will be the same as always, but I’m telling you now: fuck you, Phichit.” Emil walked out, slamming the door behind him.
Phichit waited until the tears passed and his breathing was steady. He’d never meant to hurt Emil. He’d known Emil wanted more, but he’d hoped that Emil had realized it wasn’t ever going to mean anything to Phichit but fun when he evaded the topic. He pulled out his phone and called. “It’s done, Ciao Ciao. I’m all yours.”