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Jeremy propped his elbow on the inside of the car door in an attempt to form a makeshift pillow with his hand. In the end, he knew he wasn’t going to get any actual sleeping done. The occasional glow of the streetlights glided across his cheeks, gently reaching into his eyes. Just enough to keep him up.
He glanced over at Michael, focused on driving, but humming along to the mellow acoustic song that he didn’t know the name of playing over the stereo. He couldn’t stop the small smile from creeping onto his lips when he thought of how cute his boyfriend looked with droopy eyes trying to focus. Sure, he hadn’t expected Michael to agree with his impulse to suddenly go on a midnight drive (somewhere, anywhere), but he was grateful he did. Content with the state of Michael’s looks (still good as ever), Jeremy swung his legs up on the dash and pushed his seat back, letting out a sigh. If his head wasn’t racing, he could picture himself falling asleep to the lull of the car’s motion.
The road was empty except for Michael’s PT Cruiser, the car’s headlights grasping for something to spot other than black. Patches of pine trees came and went, shadowing the stars every now and then. In the empty spots, Jeremy strained his neck to try and piece together constellations.
“Hey.”
“Hey, Jere.”
“...Do you know where Cassiopeia is?”
Michael snorted, slightly turning toward Jeremy. “Since when do you give a shit? Did you try looking?”
“Of course I did, dipshit.” His insults couldn’t hurt Michael even if he tried. As much as he wanted his words to sting, they always came out full of love somehow. Stupid Michael and his cute face, ruining every mean thought.
“Wait, I think I found it— it’s got the bright ones, right?”
“Great job being specific. They’re stars. I think they’re all pretty bright, pal.” Jeremy punched Michael in the arm after his snarky comment.
“Asshole,” Michael said, taking his right hand off the steering wheel to intertwine his fingers with Jeremy’s. Jeremy’s shy smile evolved into an obnoxious, dopey grin as he rubbed his thumb along Michael’s hand.
He considered taking another jab at Michael, but decided it would ruin the moment and instead focused on the silhouette of a particularly long patch of trees through the side window. The shadows would ordinarily be eerie and looming, keeping them confined on the road. No way out, no turning back. But that night, they weren’t as much fences and chains but more as blankets. What should have been dark felt more like a warm cup of tea. Even if, for whatever reason, they could never go back home, Jeremy didn’t care. If he had to leave behind the universe, he wouldn’t mind. As long as he had Michael by his side, he could go wherever his heart took him. He could stay that way forever— Michael driving while he navigated. And if anything ever dared to hurt Michael, god forbid, Jeremy would let go of any fear just to defend him. The world didn’t matter anymore.
It was late and Jeremy only knew two things: one, that he was tired; and two, that he absolutely had to spend the rest of his life with Michael or else he just might go insane. The latter combined with his irrational thinking led to his split-second decision to be a dumbass.
“I am so, so in love with you,” he blurted out.
The silence would have weighed in the air, were it not for the still-quiet songs on the stereo. He felt his face growing redder by the second.
“I- I’m sorry, I know it’s early on, but you know how I just can’t stop myself thinking sometimes and, well, I-”
He was interrupted by Michael putting both his hands on his shoulders (he had been too distracted to notice the car pulling over in the moment).
“I love you too. So much.”
Jeremy didn’t want to cry, not in front of Michael, but it was one in the morning and his emotions were off the charts to begin with. Naturally, his eyes welled up with tears.
“Hey, it’s okay, okay? I mean it, you know that. I’ll never leave you,” Michael said as he embraced Jeremy to the best of his ability, though the space between the car’s seats didn’t help. Jeremy clenched the fabric on his boyfriend’s back between his fingers and buried his head into the refuge of his shoulder. He wanted to apologize for staining the hoodie with tears, but realized that if he spoke, his voice would probably crack amidst the sobbing. Tears of relief and happiness and anxiety came flowing all at once, and Michael’s hands on his back were the only things that could temper his feelings. God, he loved his hands.
When Jeremy’s breathing had slowed to the point where he could speak normally again, he pulled away and rubbed his eyes. “I wasn’t sure if I was going to tell you this now, and this is super cheesy, but I literally can’t imagine my life or future without you. I want you to be there no matter where I end up, because you make everything about this shithole of a life better.” He watched Michael smile and, oh my god, are those tears in his eyes? Did I make the love of my life cry? What have I done?
Michael locked eyes with Jeremy. “I promise I’ll always be here for you. And I want you with me my whole life, because...ugh, I don’t even wanna say it. You...complete me,” he said, miming gagging on the cliché. Jeremy let a giggle escape, but covered his mouth before he could humiliate himself further.
“Ready for me to turn around?”
“Hold on.” Before Michael could get back on the road, Jeremy couldn’t resist cupping his face in his hands and pulling him to tenderly connect their lips. Jeremy was sure his thoughts for the next week, at the bare minimum, would consist solely of Michael and his soft cinnamon mouth. He smiled against his boyfriend’s lips as he pulled away.
“Michael?”
“Yeah?”
“Let’s go home.”