Work Text:
Angela was clinging to Darlene's hand as if it was the only thing letting her breathe. Darlene could feel the irresistible force. She wasn’t letting go anytime soon. Her hand was trembling, but so was her voice and her heart, as she was pressing the back of Darlene’s hand to her chest.
“Told you. Everyone’s okay again. Everyone’s gonna be okay.”
She wished she could tell her that was the truth. Angela was waiting for the confirmation in her delusional state, hoping for a miracle. She couldn’t give her that. It was hurtful enough to watch her manically staring at the TV, crying, lying to herself. It could only get worse. Darlene knew she would make it worse if she tried to help her. She still wanted to, though. There was no other choice but to let her grieve in her own way.
They were sitting on the floor in silence. Angela was still replaying the same part of the video again and again until Darlene memorized every detail of it, including the movements in the building which Angela couldn’t admit were there. She was mumbling under her breath, everyone’s okay, like she was trying to convince herself none of this was real. It was getting quieter until there was nothing to hear. Her mouth still moved, repeating the words like a mantra. It seemed like that moment would never end. After an eternity or two, Angela finally stopped and changed the channel to news. There was another take of another building collapsing, with another people inside. It seemed like there would only be more of them.
“Hey, why don’t I get us something to eat?” Darlene nearly whispered, hoping she could distract Angela.
“Okay,” she replied absently. She only took her sight off the screen when Darlene was trying to leave and let go of her hand. She didn’t realize she had been holding on to her so tight. It was so comforting that when Darlene left, she felt sudden emptiness.
She came back a few minutes later with a pack of chips, bottle of vodka and soda. She didn’t mean to get them drunk, but Angela was surely not sleeping that night without a little anaesthetic. Angela hadn’t moved a bit. Darlene grabbed two glasses on her way, sat beside her and grabbed her hand. Darlene wouldn’t assume she’d noticed, if not for her grip tightening again. She poured them drinks and handed Angela one of the glasses. She emptied it in one move, then another one. The next were pure vodka. Darlene could feel her muscles relaxing, her head slowly but steadily reaching Darlene’s shoulder. She was feeding her chips, as Angela had no intention of eating them on her own.
It was almost 12 when she’d nearly dropped off, melted in Darlene’s body, when a take of New York E Corp facility falling was on again. Angela straightened, her focus entirely on the TV. The reporter was repeating the same formula they’d been hearing throughout the day. The police was trying to estimate the deaths. Same numbers again.
“That’s… that’s not right,” Angela mumbled drunkenly. “They’re wrong. I should...”
“It’s okay.” Darlene tried to calm her, pointlessly.
“No, it’s wrong. I need to tell them, they need to know!” Angela tried to stand up and grab the phone, but thanks to both Darlene’s grip and her state, she was bound to fail. It didn’t stop her from trying again.
“Babe, no, listen. It doesn’t matter what you tell them. It won’t change a thing. You can’t undo anything. Yeah? Just sit down,” she told her and she complied. Both of them were exhausted.
“But… If I had listened… listened to you...” she was slurring again, remembering one of their previous conversations. Darlene could hear her hysteria resurfacing and tried to shush her. It didn’t help, so she hugged her and held her body until it was relaxed again.
“Can you stay?” Angela asked her, almost begged.
Darlene nodded. “Yeah. Yeah, you know I will.” Her reassuring voice, breath on her neck and safe warmness of her body almost caused her to doze off again. “Angela? Hey, let’s move to the couch.”
Darlene helped her get up and muted the TV. Angela followed her to the other side of the room, still half-asleep. They lied down, Darlene spooning her, though she fell asleep the second her position was more horizontal than vertical. The screen was bright, lightning the whole room. The news channel was still on, playing videos from all the cities one after another. There were too many. Darlene’s hand was still pressed to her chest. It was comforting to feel the steady and calm beating of her heart. She buried her face in her hair, breathing in her smell. She kissed her neck lightly. It was almost like the old times, years ago, forever in her memory. She wished she hadn’t fucked everything up, or that she could hit undo. Instead, she was the cause of all of this, Angela’s pain included. “I’m sorry,” she whispered to her neck. “I’m sorry we never learn.”