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Oftentimes, Evan needs support.
Such as when his professors have him present in front of the class, and his palms get clammy and his head feels like it’s going to explode. Then he has to call or text or facetime Connor or Jared or both of them. Whether it’s to help calm himself down or to encourage him to ask his professor to do it in private if it’s a really bad day, or to reschedule it.
“i’m- i’m sorry.”
It was when he was home alone, when Connor was at his late class and Jared was stuck in traffic and he had to order dinner over the phone. He’s getting better, granted, but occasionally he can’t he can’t he can’t and so his finger is hovering over the green Call button and his breathing is coming too fast to be healthy and nothing happens until Connor gets home from his classes and calms him down.
“I just- every-everything was so b-big and loud suddenly-ly.”
Whenever Jared and Connor get into fights, too, he needs help getting calmed down after. He tells himself it’s his fault, when really it’s just their personalities clashing at rough angles, and they are at the stake to convince him of that.
“stop! stop. stop… please.”
Once it was when they were on a date, at the fair that came to town. Everything was loud loud loud and everyone was too close too too close and he couldn’t breathe and so Connor and Jared escorted him out and brought him to the nearest park where they finished their date underneath the sky and the trees and Evan could breathe again.
Sometimes, Connor needs support.
Most of the time is when he gets mad at someone and lashes out, blowing things out of proportion and getting in fights. That’s when people such as Alana or Zoe get in contact with Jared and get him to get him out of his messy situation, dragging him home where he and Evan can cuddle with him and calm him down.
“who are you talking about smith?! come here and say that to my fucking face!”
Or it was when he was having a bad day and he didn’t want to get out of bed. Those days Evan would make cookies for breakfast and, if it was a school day, he’d go to classes and Jared would stay behind for cuddles and soothing hair strokes or, otherwise, they’d both sit in bed with him and watch F.R.I.E.N.D.S. reruns or some equally as nostalgically bad television show until Connor felt relatively better.
“fucking hell why today? i thought today was going to be a good day! what about that! no good days for connor fucking murphy. just a lonely, miserable lifetime of depression.”
It was when he had to talk to his dad again and he’d spend the rest of the day in a bad mood unless Evan, Jared or both were around. They wouldn’t treat him any differently, per se, but Jared would make sure to hold off on the snarky comments and Evan would hold his hand twice as much and they’d both make sure to prove to him they loved him as much as they could even if they were living in a crappy one bedroom apartment.
Rarely does Jared.
It was only at night, when a heavy wave of something came over him and he was more distant, more self-deprecating jokes, less in tune to whatever Evan or Connor was saying. It was these nights where they’d make sure to offer to watch Star Wars with him (and he’s duly nod in agreement) and order a pizza with extra cheese as they sat on the couch with the smaller boy sandwiched in between them when they’d feel him eventually relax and let out a contented sigh before going out like a light.
“i’m… fine. don’t worry about me just an off day extra homework i’m too fucking dumb to finish. you know. the usual.”
It was only in the mornings, when Evan would wake up without Jared at his side and wander into the kitchen to find him half awake, staring off into space, and he’d carefully lead Jared back to bed and watch as he rolled over and just stared at the wall until Evan climbed back into bed and wrapped his arms around Jared and willed him to sleep. Connor never questioned why or how they swapped positions those mornings. They never talked about it.
But that’s only in order of who’s the best at hiding it.
Rarely did you have to ask Evan twice to spill his feelings.
It was the time when they found Evan locked himself up in a room and they either convince him to open the door or Jared unlocks the door with one of Connor’s bobby pins and help him calm down, allowing him to spill all his feelings onto them before he takes a nap with them cradling him on either side like a baby.
“i just… mom called and she tried checking in on me but i panicked and hung up but i tried to call back but she just seemed mad, y’now?” // “i doubt she’s mad evan, probably just confused.”
Or when he’d suddenly clam up and not want to speak and that was okay because Connor and Jared respected that and they helped through whatever was left of the day without forcing him to say a word but the next day he threw up words and told them exactly what had been bothering him and they work as a team to fix the problem.
Sometimes you need to convince Connor.
Like the times when Jared would come home late and Evan and Connor would be in separate rooms because Connor blew up and was still fuming, it took time to calm Evan down and sit Connor down and get him to talk about why he was stressed and what his day had been like before they all laid down for the night content and quiet with only Evan’s soft humming filling the silent bedroom.
“hey can i just have my fucking space for once? thanks.” // “connor! please?”
When Connor would be particularly quiet and one of his two partners would prompt him a question to get him talking about what was up and he’d snap before leaving the room, and they’d have to track the tall boy down and find a way to cheer him up nonverbally. Maybe later they would chat about what had been going on in his chaotic head, usually they did, but if they didn’t it was usually brought up in the future.
“sorry i didn’t- just- just had a shit day today. i didn’t mean it.” // “it’s fine connor. everyone has bad days.”
Maybe it was even the occasional mornings when Connor’s head was full of stuffing and he barked insults back and forth in an attempt to block himself off from the searching eyes of his boyfriends, until Jared snapped and Connor got angry and Evan had to cool Connor down while Jared paced in the other room, sick with worry, and they finally silently and mutually agreed to talk later that night but for now they would keep each other company until the sun set.
You almost always need to pry to get Jared to talk.
The days when they somehow found out Jared skipped his classes, which were midday and Evan and Connor were both occupied, and would carefully sidestep it until Connor had enough and started interrogating the short boy, who’s only response would be a broken curse and stomping and doors slamming as he locked himself in one room or another and they had to carefully convince him to come out, but it was only when his face was dry and his nose red. His muffled tears gone by unnoticed by either two. And he would skirt around the real reason why he had skipped but the other two boys finally had to accept it.
“i just.. off day. didn’t want to go. didn’t finish my homework. whatever it’s fine don’t worry about it.” // “... okay.”
Or when Connor came home from work to a silent house, Evan visiting his mother at the moment but Jared was supposed to be there; watching television, playing video games, doing homework with the music blasting. When Connor instead found him in the bathroom sitting on the toilet in just his boxers with his arms wrapped around his midsection. Staring off into space and raw emotions on his face. Softly speaking to Connor when he prompted. When Connor texted Evan and carefully led Jared into their bedroom, laying down with him and wrapping his arms around him and planting soft kisses along his side. And when Evan came in with a concerned expression before quietly sneaking into bed on Jared’s other side and pressed a tender kiss to his forehead. They exchanged more words only later, but enough was communicated in that moment.
“i’m so fucking ugly and fat and they all fucking-” // “hey. shut the hell up. i don’t care what they say but you’re so beautiful jared you just don’t realize it and neither do they.”
The times when one of them would wake up in the middle of the night without Jared there and go on the hunt, finding him either in the bathroom or the living room curled up with his legs to his chest, crying. Whoever it was would go wake up the other and they’d both go back to him, sitting down on either side of him with Evan holding his hand and running his thumb over Jared’s knuckles and Connor with his arms wrapped around his shoulders and his head resting on Jared’s shoulder. And they stayed that way until Jared calmed down enough and uttered the same three words and they retaliated with their same one response.
“please don’t leave me-” // “not in a million years.”
When Jared would get snarky, or mad over small things and Connor would explode on him, unveiling a side of Jared that was rarely seen as the much taller individual towered over him and snarled and Jared tried holding up his walls by shooting things back but slowly they crumbled and eventually Jared was sobbing and Connor realized he fucked up as Evan looked in between them, panicked until they both realized ‘Jared first’ and helped calm him down and reassure him that Connor really didn’t mean any of it.
They all were broken, all of them broken just about the same amounts, but some just had more experience in hiding it with craft glue and scotch tape.
“we’re all fucking messes.” // “yeah. b-but that’s okay.” // “i guess that means we can just clean it up together, yeah?”