Chapter Text
Hiroko was clearing a table in the main eating area of the onsen when Yuuri came to find her.
“Mama?” he said hesitantly, biting his lip and fiddling anxiously with the sleeve of his jacket.
Yuuri was only six, but he was already an anxious child, slow to socialize with other kids his age or say much in front of people who weren’t his family. Hiroko and Toshiya had talked about it at length, trying to figure out if their Yuuri had some other mental illness that might prevent him from interacting in the way most kids did, but they had decided to hold off on taking him to a doctor or therapist until he was just a little bit older. Now, Yuuri could barely look his mother in the eye as he stood in front of her, shifting his weight nervously from one foot to the other and taking small, quick breaths.
Hiroko quickly stopped what she was doing and crouched down by her son, wrapping her arms around his shoulders and pulled him into a gentle hug. “What’s the matter, Yuuri?” she asked, kissing him on the forehead.
Yuuri took a deep breath, and then blurted, “I wanna ice skate.”
Hiroko blinked. “You want to ice skate?” she repeated.
Yuuri nodded vehemently. “I wanna ice skate and I wanna win gold medals. And be better than Takeshi,” he added, almost as an afterthought.
Hiroko considered that. She knew Yuuri spent more time than he used to with his friends at the ice rink, but she hadn’t realized he was this serious about it. “I don’t see why not,” she said after a moment, nodding.
Yuuri looked up at her, eyes bright. “Really?” he gasped, lisping slightly. He had recently lost his second tooth, and there was a gap in his front teeth that he was constantly poking with his tongue. It was clear he had been very nervous about asking for something he wanted as much as this, but was delighted at the result.
Hiroko smiled and nodded wordlessly. In comparison to other children, and even in comparison to his sister, Yuuri really didn’t ask for much. She and Toshiya would find a way to give him this.
Yuuri’s smile grew impossibly wide and happy, and he hugged his mother again. “Thank you, mama,” he whispered.
Hiroko smiled and hugged him back. “Of course.” They stayed like that for a few minutes, until Toshiya entered the room.
“Is this a group hug?” he said with a smile. “Can I join?”
Yuuri giggled as his father hugged the both of them from behind, tickling Yuuri’s side. “Mama said I could ice skate!” he exclaimed, looking happier than Hiroko had seen him in a long time. Toshiya made eye contact with her, and after a moment of consideration nodded. They would find a way to make this work, together.
“You’re going to be the best ice skater in all of Japan,” Toshiya promised fondly, smoothing Yuuri’s hair away from his face. Yuuri smiled shyly, and gave his father a hug before running off, saying something about telling Mari. Toshiya shifted to his arm was around Hiroko’s shoulders.
“He will be, you know,” Hiroko murmured. “He will be the greatest ice skater in Japan.”
Toshiya just chuckled. “I know.”
***
Hiroko took Yuuri to his first ice skating competition at the Hasetsu Ice Castle a few months later, after he had been deemed ready to “compete” in the 6-10 year old bracket. It was the off-season in the hotel business, and there weren’t too many guests at the onsen, so Hiroko had decided to watch Yuuri with the promise to bring back plenty of pictures for Mari and Toshiya.
Yuuri clung nervously to her hand as they made their way down the street towards the ice rink, other hand fiddling with the strap of his small skate bag over his shoulder, and finally Hiroko asked what was wrong. “Are you alright, Yuuri?” she asked. squeezing his hand back a little bit.
Yuuri gave a small, sharp inhale, and let go. “Sorry,” he mumbled. “Sorry, ’m fine.”
Hiroko wordlessly took his hand again. “It’s alright to feel nervous, Yuuri,” she told him calmly, slowing their pace a little. Yuuri had insisted they leave half an hour early. They could afford to walk a little slower.
Yuuri swallowed, and then clutched at Hiroko’s arms. She could feel his hands trembling as he admitted in a small voice, “I feel like I’m gonna throw up, mama.”
Hiroko smiled sympathetically and smoothed Yuuri’s hair back so she could look him in the eye. “Do you need to go home?” she asked, and Yuuri quickly shook his head. “No!” he exclaimed quickly.
“I just… I wanna compete.”
Hiroko smiled. “I know you do,” she said. “Mari, your dad, and I are all so proud of you.”
Yuuri blinked up at her with wide, innocent brown eyes, straightened his spine, and then nodded. “C’mon, mama,” he said, tugging at her hand a little.
Hiroko laughed softly and let her son lead her to the ice rink. As soon as they got there, Yuuri raced inside with his small hands clutching his skating bag, looking for his friends. Hiroko followed a little slower, a fond smile on her face. Yuuri made a beeline across the lobby of the rink and quickly found his friend Yuuko. Yuuko gave him a smile and an excited hug when she saw him.
Hiroko wandered in their general direction, not wanting to infringe on Yuuri’s privacy with his friend, when a blur of movement caught her eye. Takeshi, a boy a year older than Yuuri who skated at the rink as well, body slammed Yuuri and almost knocked him over. “Hey, fatso, what are you doing here?” he said.
Hiroko bristled. Yuuri was a little chubby, yes, but he was by no means a fatso.
Before she could step in, however, Yuuko started to tell him off, giving him a sound talking to about bullying. Yuuri scowled up at the older boy, and kicked him in the shin before pointedly turning his back.
Hiroko smiled, and her smile widened when a familiar figure sidled up. “Hey, I didn’t know you’d be here,” Minako, Yuuri’s ballet instructor, said with a smile.
“I came with Yuuri,” Hiroko replied. “I’m excited to see him skate.”
“Yeah, he’s pretty good,” Minako agreed. “Come on, I’ll help you find a good seat.”
Hiroko glanced over at Yuuri, but he looked like he was alright. Yuuko was talking to him about something and Takeshi, while frowning sullenly, didn’t look like he was going to turn aggressive again.
Hiroko nodded. “Let’s go,” she agreed, and then followed Minako to a seat in the stands of the Ice Castle.
“Yuuri should be in the first group,” Minako said. “They’re doing the younger kids first.”
“How many people are competing?” Hiroko murmured as they sat, looking out at the empty ice.
“Business right now is surprisingly good,” Minako replied. “I think there are four boys skating in Yuuri’s age group.”
Hiroko smiled, and then sat up straighter as some of the younger kids walked out of the locker rooms, her son among them. Yuuri had his ice skates on, and he looked like he was one moment away from a breakdown, but as Hiroko watched Yuuko ran up and grabbed his hands, saying something that seemed to encourage him. Yuuri nodded, and then said something back. Yuuko hugged him, and then gave him a little push towards the ice. Yuuri visibly took a deep, gulping breath, and then with a little prompting stepped out onto the ice, only stumbling a little.
Hiroko pressed her hand to her mouth, smiling uncontrollably, as Yuuri started to skate. He had been practicing for this competition for a bit, and the only jump he could do was a little waltz jump (Minako whispered the name to Hiroko), but he skated like he was carving beautiful drawings into the ice. Hiroko was enraptured, watching with proud tears in her eyes as Yuuri skated with uncomplicated little step sequences and a few slow, slightly wobbly spins, moving across the cold ice as if he was dancing in Minako’s studio. Yuuri finished his routine just slightly off the music he had skated to, and posed proudly before falling to his knees, breathing hard.
Hiroko was the first on her feet, clapping wildly for her son.
***
Years later, the cheap plastic silver medal Yuuri won at that competition still hung in a place of honor in a display case at the onsen.
***
Yuuri was anxious. That was a given. But this time he knew he was anxious for a reason, a reason he could exactly pinpoint. Yuuri swallowed hard, feeling like he was going to throw up, and then stepped out of the doorway and into the kitchen of the onsen.
“Mama?” he said in a small voice. Hiroko glanced over at him with a small smile, and set down the spoon she was holding.
“Do you want to help, Yuuri?” she asked with a kind smile.
Yuuri steeled himself, and then blurted, “Mama, I think I would like kissing boys.”
Hiroko blinked, clearly a little surprised by the abruptness of his statement. When she didn’t say anything immediately, Yuuri curled in on himself, tears pricking at his eyes. He knew he shouldn’t have said anything. He knew he should have kept it to himself.
“Yuuri,” Hiroko said softly. “Please come here.” Yuuri looked up, shaking. Hiroko quickly gathered her son into her arms. “Yuuri, it’s alright, please don’t cry,” she said as Yuuri valiantly fought back tears. He tried to stop his trembling, but he didn’t really succeed.
“Yuuri, Yuuri, it’s alright,” Hiroko said comfortingly. “Your father and I love you no matter who you want to kiss. I promise.”
Yuuri looked up at her with wide eyes. “Really?”
Hiroko chuckled. “All of the posters in your room of that Russian skater don’t exactly make it subtle,” she said. “We’ve suspected for a while. Thank you for trusting me, Yuuri.”
Yuuri smiled back a little shakily, overcome with relief. “Thank you, mama,” he said.
Hiroko just smiled, and hugged him a little bit tighter.