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It always took Saeran so long to fall asleep, but Saeyoung had grown accustom to soothing his younger brother; holding his hand as they lie side by side in their shared bed, Saeran watching him with wide eyes as he told him stories. On worse nights Saeyoung would hold him tight, rubbing his back and singing him gently to sleep. On nights like that, Saeran would hug him back, his face buried in his brother’s chest.
Tonight had been one of the bad nights. It had taken Saeran hours to fall asleep after he’d woken from his nightmare, shaking violently and sobbing. This was common for both the twins. Saeyoung didn’t ask what he had dreamed and Saeran didn’t offer up the information. The individual dreams ceased to be important after they’d each had so many. They all had the same effect.
Now Saeran was finally sleeping soundly, his mouth curving into a small smile. Saeyoung too smiled faintly, brushing his brother’s hair from his face. He deserved to have a good dream for once. He deserved to have all the good dreams in the world.
Normally he would have fallen asleep by now, but he couldn’t. Not on their last night. He wasn’t sure how long it would be until he would see his brother again. He missed him already. Saeyoung wished he could tell him, that he could explain, that he could give his brother the goodbye he deserved so much. He knew V and Rika would explain why he had to leave, but it wouldn’t be the same. He knew it should be him. Saeran deserved to have him explain this to his face, but he couldn’t.
Of course he knew why he couldn’t. If he told him, Saeran would never let him go alone. He wouldn’t let him leave, or he’d try to stop him, or worse still, he’d try to come alone or would sneak out behind him. He knew, no matter how much it hurt, that it had to be like this. He had no choice.
He had to save Saeran and this was how to do it. Rika and V could get him out of their mother’s house, could protect him better then he ever could. He was just a kid. They were adults. They were powerful. Important. Saeyoung could become powerful too. Powerful enough that he could protect his brother, that their parents could never hurt them again, but he knew that would take time.
“You’ll get to go to school, just like you’ve always wanted,” he whispered, careful not to wake his sleeping brother. “Of course, I can’t come with you, not this time, but I’ll be watching over you. I’ll always love you.” He was crying now. He wanted nothing more then to go to church in the morning just like he did every Sunday and to refuse to leave. And to come home and to take Saeran out for ice cream, but he knew he couldn’t.
“I know you’ll do great. You’re brilliant you know, absolutely brilliant. You’re so much smarter than me.” He wiped tears from his cheeks. “My genius little brother, I’m so proud of you, I love you more then anything in the entire world Saeran.”
He was aware that it was already early morning. The sun would be rising soon. On a good day he’d wake his brother to watch the sunrise, but today was not a good day.
Saeyoung stayed in bed as long as he could, talking in a hushed voice to his sleeping brother, saying all the things he wished he could say to his brother when he was awake and it mattered. Telling him one last time to his face just how much he loved him, just how much he’d miss him. Just how sorry he was to have to leave him alone in this place. He didn’t miss the way Saeran reached out for him when he finally did get up, clinging to his hand and, when Saeyoung gently pulled away, his shirt.
“…Don’t go.”
Saeyoung’s heart broke hat his brother’s tired plea. “I’m just going to church Ran, I’ll be home soon.”
Saeran opened his eyes and looked up at him with a confused, tired expression. “Come home soon.”
Saeyoung nodded because he didn’t think he could say the words without crying. “I love you,” he said, because he meant that more then anything in the world and he always would.
“Love you too,” Saeran whispered. “See you soon Saeyoung.” His eyes were already drifting shut again.
“I’ll see you soon Saeran.” He whispered, but his brother was already asleep. At least he hadn’t heard the lie.
Saeyoung dressed slowly before making his way back to the bed to tuck Saeran in and kiss his forehead gently. He headed for their bedroom door smiling at his brother one last time before leaving.
He didn’t look back at the house. The house was unimportant to him. The only good thing about that place was his brother.
He arrived to the church and sat through the service. When it was finally over, he met up with V.
“Are you ready Luciel?” The man asked with a small pitying smile. Saeyoung flinched at the name, but he nodded. The man, Jihyun Kim, gave him a small smile as he lead him to his car, helping him in and making sure he was situated before getting into the driver’s side.
They drove off, out of the city Saeyoung had lived in all his life. They spent the entire drive in silence.
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Two hours later, Saeran Choi woke to his mother screaming at him, which was nothing new. His mother always slept late. The only new thing was the fact that she was demanding to know where his brother was. Saeran struggled to remind her of the fact that Saeyoung went to church on Sundays through his absolute terror, only realizing that something was wrong when she shouted the time at him. Saeyoung should have been home hours ago.
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The next time he saw his brother it wasn’t Saeyoung Choi who always told him stories to help him sleep, but Luciel, the traitor and liar and the man he swore to his savior that he’d ruin.