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The shadows of evening disappears into the cracks as darkness slips out. Streetlight passing every few seconds and the temperature is slowly dropping. In the car, Junmyeon hums to the melodies of soft music. Eyelids heavy, muscle aching, head spinning from the many different schedule he suddenly has. Musical practice, movie filming, show appearances and too top it all of concert rehearsals. Junmyeon doesn’t feel tired. Numb. He feels numb. Void of all emotions just trying to show his best.
Few years ago if you were to tell Junmyeon he will be the leader of the biggest group in south korea, he would tell you to shut up and stop making jokes like that. But now as tiredness and responsibility starts to seep in, he really wishes it was a joke.
“I’m gonna drop you off first, I need to head back to the company to pick up some documents. Go straight to bed, you have an early one tomorrow”
“Alright hyung, be careful, it’s getting late. I’ll see you tomorrow”, Junmyeon says as he leaves the van, going towards the lift lobby of their dorm.
Staying on the top floor has its perks. Nice view, more private and it’s nice when the sun is out and warm. But the ride to top take a while and sometimes negativity creeps in Junmyeons mind instantly; “Junmyeon-ah you doing this because you’ve spent 7 years of your teenage life preparing for it. You want it. You want this. It’ll be worth it. It’s worth it. It has to be worth it.”
Thumbing in the code to the apartment, junmyeon notice a pair of shoes that don’t belong there after the group spilt to two dorms. Whoever thought keeping 9 boys in one house was a good idea obviously has never experienced it before.
“Go to sleep, that is all i need. Sleep and I’ll wake up better, stronger and hopefully me. I’ll wake up as me”, Junmyeon thinks to himself in the dark messy dorm(which probably would not be messy if Sehun has not insisted to move out from their shared room). Everyone is asleep by now and he prays that it stays that way. There’s only so little alone time you can have to yourself in the dorm before somebody barges in and reality comes through.
Putting aside his duffel bag and shucking his dirty clothes for fresh ones, Junmyeon heads to the kitchen for water.
“hyung, why did you come home so late? I need to talk to you about something”
“Chanyeol-ah, what are you doing here? Why aren’t you asleep in your room? Did your fan stop working again? If you want i can go up there and take a look but you should really look into buying a new one. Do you want water? I-“
“hyung, sit.”
“Chanyeol, if you need-“
“Sit down, you’re gonna get a heart attack from the worrying you do”
Junmyeon sits and silently cursed himself for being an overbearing friend from the beginning. Sometimes he wishes he didn’t came off as the person who would help with anything cause honestly, he is tired. It’s hard having to deal with everyone problem on top of his own. He’s grateful everyone sees him as someone they can talk their problems too, but he can only handle so much.
“I realised your schedule has been piling up. I just wanted to ask if it is okay if I came with you tomorrow? I don’t have anything on, and I want to make sure you’re eating right. You’re getting skinnier and your hair is all over the place sometimes-“; Junmyeon hands shoots up to his hair, patting it down; “and frankly I………I miss you hyung.”
Junmyeon frowns, “What are you talking about? You know I’m always here. You can talk to me chanyeol-ah. Thank you for thinking about me but I can take care of myself. Worry about yourself alright? You’ve been doing great opening your heart up to others and I’m so proud of you for that. You need to rest more. The new concert is going to be hard on all of us so rest whenever you can-” before Junmyeon can continue, Chanyeol cuts in.
“ I said I missed you. You as in Junmyeon you, not suho you. I’ve known you for a long time, do you really think I wouldn’t be able to tell how tired you are. You start thinking weird things when you’re low and I’ve seen you at your lowest & it wasn’t pretty. I can help you hyung. I’m here for you. Whatever you need. I may not be the best option to hang out with, but you can depend on me. Don’t do things alone. Depend on me hyung. Please” Chanyeol reaches over and replace the cup of water in Junmyeon hands with his. Eyes pleading.
Junmyeon stared at him for a second before he starts moving from his chair pulling Chanyeol with him. Walking to his room, with Chanyeol holding on to him. Junmyeon uncover the bed pushes Chanyeol in first before climbing in and fitting himself under Chanyeol’s chin.
“Chanyeol-ah, if I depended on you to make sure I sleep better and wake up as me again, will you be able to do it?”
“Of course hyung, anything for you.”
Chanyeol snuggles closer, pulling his hyung in his long arms and lulls him to sleep.