Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

He sat alone in his quarters in Wakanda.

After everything that happened, the fight, the revelation, the Avengers split in half, he didn’t know what to do anymore.

He had to protect Bucky. He had to prove that Bucky was innocent.

He didn’t expect it would end this way. He didn’t realize he’d lose his friends. He thought he was doing the right thing.

T’Challa, king of Wakanda offered him a place to stay after the series of events that happened and while he and his team were still wanted.

He watched the news everyday. He wanted to know what happened to Tony or Clint or Sharon or Natasha and everyone else.

Sharon he thought. From time to time he thought of her. He hoped she was alright. And she will be. She was after all, Peggy’s great niece. If things turned out to be different, he would’ve asked her for a cup of coffee and maybe go on dates.

Tony was the one who’s hurt the most. He didn’t mean for him to find out that Bucky killed his parents that way. Actually, it wasn’t really Bucky’s doing. He was brainwashed. But the damage had been done. It was never about choosing between Bucky or Tony. All he wanted was for them to believe him that Bucky was innocent and they didn’t have to start a war and choose sides.

After everything, he needed a break. He needed to do something not related to the Avengers or Captain America or SHIELD.

A vacation.

He just found out that the government decided to stop looking for them.

T’Challa offered to let Steve use his private jet since he was sort of infamous and people would gossip. He accepted.

Once he packed his clothes, he heard a knock. The door opened and it was Bucky. He gave him a smile as he entered.

‘Are you sure you don’t need me to come with you?’

‘It’s something I have to do alone.’

‘A vacation alone?’

Steve chuckled. ‘I wouldn’t exactly call it a vacation. I just need time to think.’

Bucky nodded. ‘Alright. So, where are you heading?’

Steve zipped the last of his bags before grabbing them and ready to leave. All his life, he never thought of planning on travelling or taking a break. Although he had been in several places around the world, he never got the chance to explore them. But there was that one place he always had in mind.

London.

Several hours later, he got down the plane. He took a deep breath as he walked past the airport. With a map in his hand, he was ready to explore. This was the first time he would actually go to a place without any mission. He admitted to himself he wasn’t familiar with the place. Except for the time when he was on a mission with Clint where they had to rescue a professor being held hostage by some thugs. He barely left the quinjet that time so he didn’t actually see the establishments.

With the help of the internet and some friendly locals, he got a room in a bed & breakfast inn. He was accompanied by an old couple named Arthur and Beatrice who owned the place.

‘Should you need anything, Steve, do not hesitate to ask us. We’d be more than happy to help you with anything.’ Arthur said as he handed him the keys to his room.

Steve smiled. ‘Thank you. I’ll keep that in mind.’

‘You’re such a handsome man. It’s not everyday we get to have guests as handsome as you.’ Beatrice added.

Steve blushed.

‘Oh don’t embarrass the lad, Beatrice.’ Arthur chuckled. ‘Not that you aren’t handsome.’

After the couple left, Steve unpacked his clothes and placed them in the dresser.

He grabbed a book he brought and started reading. Halfway through, he fell asleep. Hours later, he woke up. Realizing it was already dark, he checked his phone. He had been asleep for 5 hours. And he felt refreshed. He hadn’t gotten a good sleep for a long time. And he felt great.

Steve felt like going out for a drink. After a long flight and a nap, he thought of going to the nearest bar. He grabbed his phone, wallet, and keys. He put on a cap before leaving the room. On the way out, he ran into Arthur who was taking out the trash. Steve insisted on doing it for him. Reluctantly, Arthur accepted and thanked him.

Couple of minutes later, Steve entered a bar. The place was full of laughing and dancing and drinking. The last time he went out on a night like that was when he was with Tony, Clint, Natasha, Sam and Rhodey. He walked to the bar and ordered a bottle of beer. Two women who seemed to be tipsy approached him and tried flirting with him.

‘You look a lot like Captain America. You know, the handsome Avenger with a shield.’

‘Yeah, are you him?’

Steve chuckled as he was trying to be vague as possible. ‘I get that a lot but thank you.’

Later, few more people said the similar thing.

‘He’s wanted, right?’

‘I heard he isn’t anymore. But his reputation is way downhill now, mate.’

‘I don’t know. I still think he’s a good guy. Damn government.’

Hearing those conversations made Steve cringe. He wasn’t ready to face that situation just yet. He needed more time. Guilt, anxiety and sadness were all over him.

He had to leave. He couldn’t stay for another minute.

‘Excuse me, gentlemen. I have to go.’

 He left a couple of bills on the bar and stood up. He walked towards the door when he bumped into a woman who seemed tipsy.  He held her until she stopped swaying. Her purse fell down the floor and he grabbed it.

‘I’m sorry, miss. I didn’t see you there.’ He handed over her purse.

The woman turned around so he was able to get a look on her face. And when he did, he frowned as he seemed to recognize her. He stared at her until she spoke.

‘Oh don’t apologize. I should be the one who’s sorry.’

When she glanced at him, she froze at him too.

They both stared at each other until another woman came in and grabbed her.

‘Jane, there are you are! Come on let’s go.’

He watched as the two women leave the place. He thought he recognized her from somewhere. He just couldn’t point a finger on it. He tried thinking if she was someone from work or from the missions he went or a friend of a friend.

Then it hit him. He did know her.

Jane Foster.

Jane and Darcy got in the car. Jane closed her eyes trying to ease her dizziness. While the effect of alcohol was all over her head, she was still thinking about the familiar face she encountered. She was trying to think whether it was someone she knew, someone that looked like someone she knew or it was the alcohol.

A lot was going on her mind. Aside from her work, she was still hung up on Thor. After almost 3 years, they decided to end things. It wasn’t easy for her. For Jane, Thor was the love of her life. She didn’t give up searching for him even when it was almost impossible for her. Every second she spent on searching for him was worth it. He was the best she ever had and the worst heartbreak she felt. Being in a relationship with an Avenger wasn’t easy for her but they worked hard on making it work. Going back and forth from Earth to Asgard was the hardest. Days on Asgard equaled months on Earth. Although she understood his situation, it just wasn’t working anymore. He was the future king on Asgard and she was just a mortal. The fact that Thor’s life span was in thousands, Jane’s was just a fraction of it. So she thought it would be the best if they just part ways.

‘I can’t believe you practically devoured that whole bottle!’ Darcy looked at her.

Jane groaned. ‘Yeah. It’s just… did you see that guy earlier? I thought he looked familiar?’

‘Which guy? Oh! Did you find someone you like?’

‘No! The guy I bumped into, he looked like someone I knew. I just can’t point my finger on it.’

‘Maybe when you’re fully sober, you’ll remember?’

She nodded in agreement. ‘Maybe. Let’s go home.’

Jane entered her room and threw her purse on the chair and removed her shoes. She didn’t feel like changing and washing up so she spread onto the bed. Thor was still on her mind no matter how much alcohol she consumed.

It had been 3 months since she last saw Thor. And she missed him so bad. So bad it hurt. Usually, it took a few weeks for her to get over the guys she broke up with and she didn’t usually mope around then.

Every night she cried herself to sleep hoping for the best in the following day.

Chapter Text

The next day, Jane tried recalling the scenario in the previous night. When Darcy asked who the guy she was talking about was, she replied that she thought she saw Captain America. Darcy found it ridiculous considering the events that just happened and that Jane was just still hungover. Jane dismissed the idea that she saw him but deep down, it may really be him.

Jane checked in on Erik’s room before leaving for a meeting downtown. Erik’s mind was still suffering from the after effects of Loki’s spell. Although he was better already, Jane still had to make sure and still had to keep an eye on him because his actions affected by the spell were unpredictable. The last incident was when during a science convention when Erik insisted that the flagpole that was standing on the stage was a portal to another dimension which caused dismay to the people there.

It was a Saturday and Jane only had one task for the day which was the meeting. People from around the world, particularly in the Science field were fascinated by her work on the Convergence. She got exhausted on the countless meetings so she declined any new meetings. The meeting she was going to was not related to the convergence but with someone who was once affiliated with the Avengers. Dr. Helen Cho. She personally reached out to Jane to discuss their work as she was in the area. Without hesitation, Jane accepted as she heard about Helen as well and was impressed on her work on Vision.

‘I thought you gave up on meetings?’ Darcy asked without looking at her because she was busy with her phone.

‘It’s not really a meeting. More like a cup of coffee with a friend. Well, not friend yet… Maybe, I don’t know.’

‘But you met her once, right? The one you said you thought was ogling your then boyfriend?’

‘Yes, but that’s not the case. Gotta go.’

The following days, Steve became slightly accustomed with the surroundings. Every morning he went jogging around the block. He met a few people who lived nearby along the way so everytime he jogged or went out, he would wave at them. He got to know Arthur and Beatrice more and they invited him every morning for breakfast so that he would at least save money as he had no money incoming. Steve politely declined but they insisted.

‘What could hurt for a little breakfast, lad?’

‘If you say so, then I’d love to have breakfast with you two. Thank you.’ Steve smiled at the couple.

‘You’re most certainly welcome, Steven. We’ve only known you for days but you’re already dear to us.’ Beatrice replied.

Steve went around London getting to know the city. He went to a museums, joined tours and tried different kinds of British food. He even learned a few British slang words. He admired the large Ferris wheel known as the Big Eye the most, especially at night. He could stare at it all night, he thought. He remembered the times when he and Bucky would go to carnivals to meet women (for Bucky as Steve served as his wingman).

He sat on the nearby bench as he stared at it. He observed people walking around, taking pictures and some couples holding hands. He imagined if he could have a life like that.

Being a hero wasn’t easy. Love is their greatest weakness and he knew that though he never experienced falling in love with someone and then used against him.

Clint managed being a hero and being a family man but there were still consequences. He just found out recently that his wife wanted to get a divorce right after she found out that he was involved in the civil war. Although Clint said he didn’t blame him for what happened and it was his choice, he still felt guilty about it. Laura was a good person. He saw how much she cared for her children and for her husband. It was so sad to see two people who deeply cared and loved each other break up.

There were times that leaving the ones you love was the only way to keep them safe.

But when you’re a hero, it happens all the time.

He continued staring at the Ferris wheel when he noticed some people were gushing about something or someone. He heard people talking about some funny man.

‘Oh dear, is that man not wearing his trousers?’ Said a woman pointing at someone.

He looked over and saw the man walking around with no pants. He must be disoriented as he seemed to be looking for someone. He saw the man walking up to people asking something but they just laughed or ignored him.

It turned out he knew the man.

‘Dr. Selvig?’ He asked himself.

For a second he walked right up to him.

Erik saw Steve as he approached him and his eyes widened.

‘Hey I know you!’ He pointed.

Steve was able to stop him from announcing his name. Erik gave him a hug saying that he missed him and hadn’t seen him for a long time.

Steve looked back at the people staring and taking pictures.

‘It’s alright. He’s with me.’

‘I’m with Jane. Have you seen her?’ Erik looked around for Jane.

‘I think we should look for your pants first.’

‘Erik!’ Steve heard a woman calling the name.

He  turned and saw Jane for the second time when he heard her calling Erik.

She was running towards him asking if he was okay. When he told her he was, her gaze turned to Steve. Her eyes widened.

‘Hi.’ She said.

‘Hi.’ He replied.

‘Captain Rogers?’

‘Doctor Foster, just Steve would do and I didn’t expect to see you here. I just happen to see Erik walking around pantsless.’

‘Well, you can just call me Jane and I didn’t expect to see you here either.’ Her eyes still fixated on him.

He explained everything to her about what happened to Erik. Jane explained that she was just having a small talk with a fellow colleague they ran into in a nearby cafe when Erik suddenly disappeared.

Jane thanked Steve for looking out for Erik. She asked about how he ended up in London. He wasn’t ready to open up to anyone just yet so he just said he just decided to go off the grid. And she already knew why. She thought he might not be ready to talk about it so she kept mum about it.

He asked her about Thor. She just told him he was gone and probably back in Asgard.

He noticed how she smiled when she told him. He saw how that smile was just a facade. Something was wrong so he changed the topic.

‘Hey, if you need some assistance with anything or a tour guide or a friend maybe, feel free to give me a call. Or Erik even though he’s sometimes crazy. If you want to.’

Steve smiled. ‘If you’re not busy at all, I’d love to.’

She gave her number to Steve. She looked at Erik realizing she forgot he wasn’t wearing pants so she bid him goodbye.

That was the first time he found her cute.

Darcy shrieked Jane told her she ran into Steve downtown. Darcy replied that she had a huge crush on Steve and was definitely the hottest Avenger. Jane just rolled her eyes and sat in front of the computer.

‘Well, him and Thor and on the top 2.’

Jane sort of hated when his name was being mentioned but at the same time she was missing him so much that she would breathe his name whenever something reminded her of him. And she was never like that with her other exes.

‘Can you please not mention his name for at least a week?’

‘Yeah whatever.’ Darcy shrugged.

Jane went inside her bedroom. She laid on her bed and opened her phone. While scrolling around the internet, she saw that Erik was it again. It was the incident that happened just a while ago. She watched the video and saw a man in a cap who went and interacted with Erik. The man happened to be Steve. The video stopped after Steve said ‘It’s okay, he’s with me.’

She put down her phone and took a deep breath. It was an exhausting day for her. She wanted to just leave and just take a vacation but she can’t because she already had a bunch of things to do.  It was hard for her because she was dedicated to her career and at the same time it reminded her of Thor. It had only been a few months but she still felt like it was just yesterday. She already distanced herself from the internet because there were a bunch of articles talking about Thor with different women and the fact that he was a bachelor and available as described by some tabloids.

But whether they’re true or not, it still pained Jane but she reminded herself to be strong. She didn’t regret about the breakup but sometimes she did.

Damn you, Thor.

Chapter Text

III
2 days later, Steve texted and asked Jane out. Not on a date. Just someone to tour him around the city. 10 seconds later, Jane texted back. And she replied that she’d rather just meet him now.

‘Actually, can we meet up like now?’
‘Sure.’
‘Good, because I’m at this Science conference and I want to leave.’

She was at a meeting. A meeting she was forced to go. A meeting with a bunch of Scientists talking about literally the same shit she always hears. Not that she was sick of Science or whatnot. She just wished she could just work on a lab or university though those meetings with different scientists around the world would boost her career and giving her more exposure. She was tired of it already. She needed a break. She just needed a good excuse to leave. And Steve just sort of saved her.

Minutes later, Jane exited and saw Steve waiting outside the building. She smiled and told him about the meeting. She added that he was a life saver and he just laughed.
When he asked if she wanted to get coffee, she said no.

‘We’re going to a bar.’
‘Isn’t it kinda early?’
‘After that exhausting thing I just went into? No.’
They went to a small pub downtown. There were only a few people inside and it was quite quiet so that meant they won’t be shouting at each other. Thank goodness for that, Steve though, because a couple of nights ago at the bar he went to, he barely heard the people that talked to him. And speaking of, that was also the night he saw her for the first time again.
Jane ordered two beers. She started telling him about her work on the convergence and her other research. Steve was fascinated by her stories. Thor used to talk about her a lot but it was a whole lot different coming from her. She also talked about her childhood and how Erik practically raised her when her father died and how she was never close with her mother. Later, she asked him to tell something about himself. He told her mostly about his childhood, how he joined the army and life during the 2nd world war.
‘Is it true you can’t get drunk?’
Steve laughed. ‘Did Thor tell you that?’
Hearing Thor’s name baffled Jane. She remembered the night he came home and it was late. She had just finished her work on the computer. He was a bit tipsy then because he was at Tony’s. Whenever he drank he would talk a lot. Jane did like when Thor told her stories because one, she loved the way he told about them and two, she found it hot. And sometimes at night, she would still imagine him coming home to her and telling stories while they’re in bed.
‘He... talked a lot about you guys.’
‘How is he? Are you guys still...?’ He was trying to finish the sentence but he thought maybe it would be a sensitive topic for her.
‘Together?’ She finished.
‘You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to.’
She took a sip of her beer. ‘We broke up months ago.’
Steve felt sorry for her. ‘I’m sorry to hear that. And I’m sorry for asking.’
‘Don’t be.’ She have a weak smile.
She explained how the breakup sort of affected her career. For the first few days after the breakup, it was all over the news. Reporters would come and demand answers from her although she had already told them that she didn’t want to comment on it ever.
After a moment of silence between the two, Jane looked at him and he looked back at her.
‘What happened out there? With you and the Avengers? If you don’t mind me asking.’
He explained to her about Bucky and how he was innocent. He told her about Tony joining forces with the CIA and how it caused the division of the group. He also told her how Tony found out who really killed his parents and how he knew before Tony did.
Jane felt bad. It was heartbreaking to see the Avengers who considered each other family already torn apart. She didn’t know what really happened because she wasn’t there. She only heard Steve’s side and she believed him. All because he wanted to save his friend. But that didn’t mean he didn’t care about Tony or the rest of the Avengers. They were family to him. Since he woke up to the modern world, he had nowhere else to go. He just wanted to prove his friend’s innocence but the plan ended up in a different way.
Steve added that he wasn’t Captain America anymore. Without his shield, he was just Steve Rogers, former soldier, Avenger and now just a regular guy.
‘Your shield doesn’t define who you are, Captain.’ She replied.
He smiled when she said that. It felt good to hear it somehow. He was feeling depressed and sad lately but going out and talking to Jane and exchanging stories made him feel good.
There was a lot about Jane he wanted to know more about. He never got the chance to get to know her back in the day. They would only hear things about each other from Thor’s perspective.
They laughed, they told about each other more. They discussed their favorite books and things they’d do if they weren’t working.
The next thing they knew, it was already past 8.
Jane offered to drive Steve home. It turned out their homes weren’t that far from each other.
She invited Steve to her place to have dinner with her, Erik and Darcy on a Sunday. And he was glad to come over.
They bid each other goodbye as Steve got out of the car. When Jane drove away, he saw Arthur by the door. He gave Steve the look of approval. Steve explained that she was just a friend and they weren’t dating.
When Jane came home, she immediately told Darcy and Erik that they needed to clean the house and buy at the grocery.
Darcy raised an eyebrow because of Jane’s sudden panic mode. She knew Jane too well to know that she would only make the house look presentable if there’s a guy coming over.
‘Jane, who’s coming over?’
‘Um, Steve Rogers.’
‘Wow, no way!’ Darcy stood up. ‘Are you guys like dating?’
Jane glanced at Darcy for a second before snapping out. ‘No, no! It turns out he’s staying in the city so I thought that since he doesn’t know anyone here, we should welcome him and invite him over.’
Darcy shrugged and murmured. ‘You’re so gonna end up sleeping with him.’
‘What?’
‘Nothing! Erik is wearing the basket on his head again!’ Darcy pointed at Erik.
Jane hoped that the dinner won’t be a disaster.
Steve’s phone rang. He looked and saw T’Challa’s name. He answered the phone and saw Bucky and T’Challa on video.
‘Hey, man. How’s London?’ Bucky greeted.
‘How are you holding up there, Captain?’ T’challa added.
Steve explained how he settled in a local inn and the old couple he befriended. He also told them what he saw in London and how he ran into an old acquaintance.
‘Do we know her?’ Bucky asked.
Steved chuckled. ‘Not exactly. She’s… the ex girlfriend of Thor.’
Bucky and T’Challa slowly nodded.
‘Is she hot?’ Bucky asked jokingly.
Steve blushed when Bucky asked the question. He didn’t know how he would reply because he didn’t actually think of it. Maybe he did hypothetically but it wasn’t something he would think about.
‘Well, she’s…’ He was hesitating.
‘You don’t need to answer, Captain.’ T’Challa said. Bucky rolled his eyes.
Steve felt good that Bucky was still the funny guy he knew. Despite the brainwash and the war against the other Avengers he still managed to smile. He and T’Challa seemed to have developed a friendship. Bucky was still in shock that he had to be involved in situations that he never thought existed. During the world war 2, he thought that fighting against the Nazi and Red Skull were already too much to handle but he never expect that in the future he would face something more complicated like aliens and superhumans. But despite that, he had to keep up with everything now because everything he knew back then don’t exist anymore.
‘Captain, there is something we have to tell you.’ T’Challa spoke again.
Steve took a deep breath. ‘What is it?’
‘We predicted something from another world is coming to Earth soon. We do not know what it is or when but we are already preparing for whatever circumstances. We just want to let you know. Once we find out what and when, we would need you to come back. Give or take a few more months.’
Steve gulped. ‘The rest of the Avengers?’
‘We may have to get everyone together soon.’
Steve nodded. His heart started beating fast.
‘Might as well enjoy the rest of your days of, Steve.’ Bucky added.
He continued staring at the screen even when the video had already ended. Anxiety was all over him. He wanted to give up his job as a hero to live a normal life. He wanted to have a decent job and live his life as an ordinary man. Even if he wasn’t Captain America anymore, there will always be people needing him. There was no resignation or retirement of being a hero. He also thought that maybe he was given too much information. He was still given a few more months to enjoy life as an ordinary citizen but now he felt that there was a deadline. And it pressured him because yesterday he was barely thinking about aliens or threats from another world.
He took a deep breath trying to ease the anxiety. It might take a while but at least there was a dinner he was looking forward to. And he prayed that the upcoming days would be better for him.

Chapter Text

I was trying to keep the Avengers from tearing apart!

He killed my mom!

That shield doesn’t belong to you! You don’t deserve it!

Every night Steve woke up from dreams that reminded him of the bad days. Every night he would recall how Tony was angry and emotional. He also dreamed the consequences the rest of the team had to face.
He opened his eyes and sat up. He was palpitating and breathing fast. After thinking what he had just dreamed, he covered his face with his two hands trying to calm himself down. The nightmare started just a few days and he felt like it was getting worse. He looked at the clock to see it was only 2 in the morning. Realizing he can’t go back to sleep, he got up from the bed and grabbed a glass of water. Minutes later, he was out of his room. He felt the need to go out and just walk to clear his head. On his way outside the door, he saw Arthur on the bench. He was sitting but his head was bobbed down. He was asleep. Steve nudged the old man and told him he fell asleep and he should go back inside.

‘I didn’t realize I was asleep. I was sitting down.’

Steve chuckled. ‘It’s a good thing I found you. It’s freezing out here and you could get sick. Does your wife know you’re here?’

‘No. She was already asleep right then. I was just getting some air.’

Arthur studied him for a few seconds and then asked him where he was going. Steve replied that he was going for a walk because he couldn’t sleep. He made sure first that Arthur was back in his flat. Seeing the old man so tired and weak made him think about the soldiers who survived during the world war. They we’re able to come home to their families and live out their lives as heroes. If Steve hadn’t crashed into the ocean, things would’ve been different. He would’ve been an old man or he could have been dead already. He wouldn’t be an Avenger. He wouldn’t have met the Avengers. He wouldn’t be here now. And he reflected on it while walking around the block.
The clouds started to form. Steve looked up and watched each droplets of rain fall down. He was blocks away from home. He needed to find a roof as soon as possible before getting soaked. Although he didn’t mind getting caught in the rain but he could shiver from the cold and get sick. He ran to the nearest porch of one of the townhouses and stood there. He watched as the rain gets louder and stronger. A loud rumble was heard.

Jane woke up to the sound of the thunder. She glanced at her window and saw how the rain was strong accompanied by occasional loud thunders. The first thing she thought of was Thor. She got out of the bed and walked towards the window. She continued staring at the rain until she whispered ‘Thor?’ To herself. Could it be he was around? What if he was in trouble? Or sad? Or what if he was sending a message to Jane?

What if he’s trying to tell me something?

The more she thought of it, the more likely she’s gonna cry.

No, no this is not him. He’s not here. He can’t be. But what if it’s him?

Slowly, she realized that it was indeed him. God, she missed him and she still loved him. It had been three months since he left and it still felt like yesterday.

Her mind kept saying that it wasn’t Thor. It was just rain.
But her heart kept urging her that it was Thor. He was here. He was telling you something.

Before she knew it, she was already running outside of her room. She ran past the living room and kitchen all the way outside the balcony.
The thunder grew louder and louder as the rain pours continuously.
She looked at the dark sky glancing at it. She was already soaking wet but she didn’t care. She took a couple of steps away from the door until she was at the center.

‘Thor?!’ She shouted.
She stared at the sky hoping to see him. She needed to see him. She wanted to. But all she saw was just rain and thunder.
She was already shivering but it didn’t stop her from shouting his name.

‘Thor?!’

Nothing changed.

She stared blankly at the sky until she could no longer take it and cried her eyes out.
Jane had never cried over an ex for more than a week. She didn’t even usually cry over a guy. But with Thor, she felt so vulnerable. She cried for weeks and still cried for weeks more. Sometimes she didn’t sleep at all. The first month after, it sort of affected her work. Her interest in the stars has lessened. Anything that reminded her of him, she wanted to avoid. She even thought of switching careers but her work as an Astrophysicist was already established. And she was already in fact, renowned. This wasn’t her. Jane was strong and independent and doesn’t give a shit on relationships. Thor has affected her in so many ways. He was the one she truly loved and she had hoped that they would get married someday despite their differences. And now that they’re separated, she felt like her world had crumbled when he left.
The raid weakened already but Jane didn’t move from where she was standing. Erik who came out of his room saw her from the window. He quickly went out and checked her out. Realizing that she had been crying, he already knew why she was there. He quickly ran to her and started comforting her.

‘Jane you must come inside, it’s freezing. You’ll get sick.’

Reluctantly she nodded as they both walk back inside.

At some point, beyond Earth, in another world, her cry was heard.

A couple of hours later, Jane was panicking around the house. She just remembered the dinner she promised Steve. Jane was busy writing a thesis on her laptop for one whole that she forgot. Thank goodness for Darcy and Erik for remembering to buy from the grocery yesterday. The only thing that’s left was to clean the house. There were stack of papers lying around and a bunch of gadgets on the couch. Jane tried grabbing them all at once but they kept on slipping from her hands as she ran and shoved them right in to the storage room. Darcy and Erik were already preparing the food. Jane didn’t know how to cook or rather she wasn’t a very good cook. And to avoid disaster, she would just rather clean the house.

Steve was already outside the door. He checked the address again to make sure he was at the right place. He was nervous. It wasn’t a date. It was just dinner, he thought but it still didn’t stop his nervousness. He checked the flowers he brought to make sure they look presentable.

What the heck? This isn’t a date and yet why am I bringing flowers? And this isn’t 1942 anymore.

He paced back and forth and then rang the doorbell. From where he was standing, he heard muffled noise and footsteps. A few seconds later, he heard a clear voice of a woman saying I’ll get the door, you better make sure those papers are gone!

The door opened revealing Darcy. Once she opened the door and saw Steve, her eyes grew large. For a few seconds, she was just standing and staring at Steve who was looking back at her waiting for a response.

‘Oh wow. You’re much taller and hotter in person.’ Was the first thing she said without taking her eyes off him.

‘Hi.’ Steve replied politely.

Realizing she had been staring at him for too long, she snapped out.

‘I’m sorry for staring. I’m Darcy by the way.’ She extended her hand.

Steve shook her hand.

From inside, Jane yelled asking if it was Steve on the door.

‘Yes and you better get your ass here right now!’ Darcy yelled back.

Seconds later, Jane appeared. Steve couldn’t help but admire her despite her looking so weary. He guessed that she was working all night or something else.

‘Hi. I’m so glad you made it.’ She smiled.

‘I can’t imagine being someplace else.’ He replied.

‘And I brought flowers as for saying thank you.’ He offered the bouquet of flowers to Jane and her face grew into a huge smile. She already had forgotten what was like to blush and receive flowers from a guy. Deep down, she felt she was in high school again but she never even received flowers. Back then she would just imagine her crush talking to her and whispering sweet words to her.

‘These are beautiful. Thank you.’ She said as she smelled the flowers.

‘I hope it’s not too much.’

‘No, they would look wonderful on the table. I’ll just put them in a vase but you should sit down and dinner is gonna be ready in a few.’

A couple of minutes later, dinner was served and everyone was seated around the table. Steve opened about his childhood in Brooklyn. He also described what life was like during the 30s and early 40s. Jane was fascinated about his stories because it wasn’t a common topic to discuss. She asked about science and technology during that time and surprisingly, Steve was knowledgeable about those. Erik was able to relate his childhood and younger days because even then, things were still ‘traditional’ when he was younger. Steve was surprised to hear that Jane was technically raised by Erik.

‘And I thought you really were father and daughter.’ He said.

 Jane and Darcy offered to clean up and wash the dishes. Steve offered to help but Jane insisted that he should just relax and should go out of the balcony and look at the view in which he did. The view he saw was breathless. When he was on mission he would admire places from the jet or from the sky but the view wasn’t like what he was seeing now. He didn’t have to think about missions or saving hostages or finding and capturing suspects. Right now he was just a civilian. No wonder why Jane chose to live here aside from the fact that it belonged to her mother. Her telescope was just placed on the side and the view of the stars was just beautiful. He imagined Jane spending the night sitting on one of the chairs and just looking up at the sky.

‘Mind if I join you?’ Steve heard a voice from behind. He looked over to see Erik walking over to his side.

 ‘Not at all.’ He replied.

Silence occurs as both men stare into the horizon.

‘How are you holding up?’ Erik asked without looking at Steve. He was staring at the city.

‘Fine I guess. I’m slowly warming up to everything here.’

‘That’s good. Thinking of settling down then?’
Steve took a deep breath. To Erik, it was already a sign of no or at least having doubts.

‘I don’t know. I haven’t felt like being an ordinary person in a long long time. And now that I think I am, I’m slowly enjoying it.’
Erik glanced at Steve briefly before turning his gaze back on the view.

‘But... you know you can’t stay off the grid for long. You still need to face the things you left unsolved.’

Steve knew he was talking about the Avengers. About Tony.
Erik was right. He needed to go back in time to solve the conflict he was in.
T’Challa also warned him of an unknown who will yet appear soon to possibly invade the earth. He wished he could just live his life by having a decent job and a permanent house, but he knew it may never happen ever.

He opened up to Erik about the dilemma he had with Tony and Bucky was the and how the Avengers were involved. Erik just listened to him throughout.

‘...if only they had listened to me then this wouldn’t have had happened.’ Steve sighed.

When Thor first arrived on Earth years ago, he crashed on to Jane’s life. From the moment they locked eyes, they saw sparks. Erik then had doubts about Thor thinking he was a con man or just plain crazy that he wanted Jane to stay away from him. The night he fetched Thor from Shield, he advised him to leave because he was afraid of Jane getting hurt. And now, he felt like he was in that situation again.

‘Listen, Cap, I’m glad to see you and you’re always welcome here with us but I just have to tell you this before things get any further.’

Steve turned to Erik with a worried face.

‘Jane is really in a vulnerable situation. Thor was everything to her. When she ended things, her world crumbled. It was the first time we saw her so helpless and vulnerable. It affected everything. Her work, her research. She stopped attending NASA events, she was even a candidate for the nobel prize, but she said she didn’t want to be part of it. There is an event tomorrow in Birmingham we were supposed to attend but she refused. She planned on changing from an astronomer to an engineer, but it won’t be easy because her work has already been established. She’s a renowned astronomer as people would describe her. Darcy and I tried convincing her to stay but she was too stubborn. For the first few weeks since Thor left, she barely left her room, we heard her crying and drinking. I had to file a leave for her at the university until she gets back on track. That was when we learned she was pregnant. Days later, she lost it. That’s why she lost her confidence and herself.’

Steve studied Erik for a while, realizing it was not that what he really wanted to tell. He thought of Jane when she lost the baby. He couldn’t imagine her so broken, so lost. If only he were around, he would be there for her for as long as she needed or wanted him. He didn’t realize that it wasn’t only about their relationship but also something else was involved.
‘Now, here’s the part I really want to tell you...’

And he was right.

‘I’ve seen the way you two act when you’re around each other. Jane glows when you’re around and I’m glad that she started smiling even just a bit. But I’m telling you, Cap, if you’re planning to pursue Jane, don’t do it. I know you won’t be around for long. Jane is like my daughter and I want what’s best for her and I’d do anything to protect her. I’ve told this to Thor before they got together. And look what happened. He was always gone. They barely spent time together. I don’t want her to get hurt again.’

‘I understand, Erik but I assure you, I won’t do anything to hurt her.’

‘You better not. I may sometimes be acting crazy but that doesn’t mean I’m unaware. And whatever you do, please keep your balls in your pants, will you?’

Steve froze looking at Erik but Erik just laughed. He patted his hand onto Steve’s shoulder.
‘I know you’re a good guy. I know you well enough that you’ll make wise decisions.’

Seconds later, Jane called on the two men telling them how freezing outside was. Erik replied that they were heading inside anyway. Darcy was preparing ice cream that she ‘created’ and wanted Steve to try it.

‘How can you eat ice cream when it’s freezing?’ Erik asked.

Steve laughed and insisted that he didn’t mind. Darcy gave Erik an ‘I told you so’ face and stated that Steve was frozen for years so eating ice cream during a cold weather wasn’t that much of a difference. Jane couldn’t stop chuckling and Steve gave in grinning.

Jane’s phone rang. She excused herself and walked by hallway to answer it. The conversation was all about the conference in Birmingham. He heard Jane clearing up her decision that she wasn’t going.

‘I appreciate it, I really do. But I don’t think I’m worthy enough to be a candidate. I’m sorry, I just can’t.’ She said to the person she was talking to on the phone before ending the call.

Steve thought he should do something about it and if he did, then it better goddamn work.

Chapter Text

Jane put down the phone after telling the woman that she wasn't worthy of the candidacy of the Nobel let alone the award itself. Before she would wish of it but when she had the opportunity, she turned it down. She knew how her life changed and how she looked at herself changed. Her self-esteem, her dedication, her passion, all just suddenly went down. She can't help it. She can't put herself back up no matter how much she tried. This wasn't like her. This wasn't her. She was a strong, passionate and brave woman until the time she wasn't anymore. All because of one man? Definitely not her.

Jane realized that Erik, Darcy and Steve were staring at her. They were listening to the phone call and they heard what she told the person.

And to break the silence, she spoke.

'I'm sorry about that. I just really think that I don't deserve it. Or anything at all.' Her eyes were starting to get watery. She tried to keep the tears from falling but it was just too much.

'Jane-' Darcy spoke but Jane was already heading to her bedroom. Erik was about to stand up and go after Jane but Steve volunteered to talk to her.

Jane sat down on the edge of her bed trying to compose herself. She didn't like crying or seeing herself cry but the pressure was too much so she just let the tears fall out. She felt so hopeless. She thought she was risking her career and had already screwed up. She felt that she lost everything and there was no chance for her to start again. She felt bad for Darcy and Erik for putting up with her. She even thought of going back to the states and live off in a trailer.

She heard a knock on her door but chose to ignore it. Seconds later, it opened and revealed Steve. She looked at him for a moment and wiped her tears.

'I'm sorry you had to witness that.' Was what Jane first said. 'I understand if-'

'Jane?' Steve interrupted. 'You don't have to apologize. It's just me. I'm here for you, alright?'

She gave him a sad smile. For a moment, it felt good to hear him say that.

Steve ran in to Arthur and Bea on his way inside the building. They asked how his day was and he gladly told them that he just came from his friends house for dinner and how it was joyful for him to spend time with them. Before parting ways, Steve just remembered that he had to ask them about something.

'Hey, do you know anyone that could lend me a car? A rental?'

'I suppose I know someone. When do you need it?'

'Tomorrow. I'm gonna need to go to this place and I know it's surprising but I'm doing it for a friend.'

The next morning, Jane walked out of her room to find luggage's on the living room.

'What the hell is going on?' She asked.

Darcy and Erik appeared. 'Oh hey, good morning.' Darcy greeted with a huge smile on her face in which made Jane wondering.

'Are you going somewhere?' Jane asked with a confused face and tone.

Darcy and Erik didn't know what to say. They wanted to surprise Jane hoping that she wouldn't freak out or get mad because she had already made clear about not going to the convention. But they knew that somewhere deep down she wanted to so they teamed up with Steve to get Jane back on track hoping their plan would be successful or at least an improvement in Jane's well being. Before Steve left Jane's apartment, he spoke to Darcy and Erik about bringing Jane to the convention. Although Darcy and Erik convinced him that they already tried dragging Jane but it didn't work. And that didn't stop Steve from renting a car (even though Erik had his own), convince Jane one more time and if she turned it down, that'll be the end of it.

Jane heard a knock and turned her gaze towards the door before turning her gaze back to Darcy and Erik.

'Are we expecting a visitor?' She asked.

'Yup.' Darcy replied as she went and opened the door. 'Hey, dude. We're all set.'

Jane stared at Steve then shifted her gaze on Darcy with a confused look.

'What's going on? Are you going on a trip or something?'

'Actually...' Steve stepped in.

He told Jane how they planned on getting her to attend the conference, how they wanted to help her get back on her feet. Jane felt so mad because she already made clear that she wasn't going. That didn't stop Steve from doing what he needed to do because he knew that deep inside that the Jane that everybody knew was still there and that he needed to get that out of her. But why did he want to help her? They only knew each other for a couple of weeks but for Steve, hearing stories from Erik and Darcy, Jane opening up to him about her work, her life, her relationship with Thor made him feel like he knew her already. He didn't know anyone in London when he arrived until he met the sweet old couple and until he ran into Jane and her company. Somehow those people made him feel so grounded, not that he wasn't. He actually felt what it was like to be just an ordinary person. And it felt good. And everytime despite his nightmares, he would often reflect on that. What he hadn't thought through was his growing feelings for Jane. That time he saw her for the first time again, he felt different in a way he couldn't point his finger at. And as he knew more about her along the way, his feelings were slowly growing but still inexplicable but her knew he cared for her and wanted to do his best to help in any way.

'Look, I already made clear that I won't be going. I don't want that Nobel prize. It's just an award with the winner's name on it.' Jane insisted.

Steve cleared his throat. 'Jane, listen to me.'

She stopped and looked a him waiting for what he was going to say.

'Yes, we know that you don't want to go there or anywhere else right now. I understand you, we all do. But hear us out and this will be the last time we will be convincing you so this is our last shot. If you say no, then that's it. We won't mention it ever again, okay?'

Jane reluctantly nodded as she crossed her arms.

'When you were a kid, you dreamt of being the world's greatest scientist. You wanted to discover something that no one can ever discover. Every night, you look at the stars looking for an answer. You dedicated your whole life to it. And you were able to reach your goals. And now, you graduated with 3 degrees, created machines by yourself, proved that portals to other worlds exist. You were even the first human to travel to a place that people thought was just a myth. You proved that science and magic coexist. You're now a candidate for an award that many people wanted. You're on the top of your career, you did it. You're among the best scientist in the world and then it all fell apart because of just one guy that broke your heart? That's not you. You're much better than that. There are people out there who are inspired by you. Young girls who look up to you. You may have lost Thor, but Darcy and Erik are here.' He paused. 'And I'm here. Because we believe in you whatever it takes. So, like I said earlier, this will be the last time we'll convince you. If you say yes, then you're already a step ahead of moving on. If not, then we won't mention it ever again. So what do you say, Doctor Foster?'

Getting his words to sync in her mind, she slowly realized that he was right. She still loved her job. She loved doing what she loved. It was her whole life. She smiled as she thought that maybe today would be the day she started standing up again.

She smiled. 'Alright, Rogers. Let's go.'

For the past 4 months, Jane confined herself within the city of London. She hadn't left the city during in that length of time. She shut herself from the opportunities given to her. She limited herself from her research. It was like living in the shadow. Darcy and Erik were very supportive and they did their best to help Jane get back on her feet.

For a while, she did.

Until she saw a picture of Thor on Earth with 2 young ladies who saw and decided to take a selfie with him.

And it went to south. Again.

Until Steve came.

They were all inside Steve's rental car. Steve was driving and sitting next to him was Jane. Darcy and Erik were sitting at the back. They were talking and laughing. Darcy would tell embarrassing stories about Jane. Jane would rebut by telling some of Darcy's embarrassing moments and Erik would just shake his head murmuring 'women'. Steve couldn't stop laughing.

'Hey, Steve. Got any embarrassing stories to tell?' Darcy asked. 'Or maybe not because you're too perfect.'

Jane grinned. Steve rolled his eyes.

'... I had a mission going undercover at gay club. I had to look very convincing to prevent my undercover from blowing.'

Everyone laughed. Jane smiled.

'It wasn't that bad...right?'

Steve sighed still cannot believe he had to reminisce about that night. He swore to everyone, to the Avengers that they do not mention that incident again.

'Let's just say the guy we were after was very aware of his surroundings. I had to make sure he didn't notice me... Agent Barton was there to... make sure he wouldn't suspect a thing... and Shield and everyone else saw a footage thanks to Stark and I am gonna end it there.'

He left it that way. He didn't want to be specific. Even though Darcy asked a lot of questions, he didn't entertain it anymore. And a part of him still wished he didn't tell it but it was also nice to show a little sense of humor.

He was all smiles. He glanced at Jane and so far she seemed relaxed while looking out on her window.

Maybe his plan will work out after all, he thought.

When Steve turned his glance back on the road, Jane turned to look at him for a brief time before looking back at the window watching everything go fast. She thought about the time she met him for the first time at the Avengers tower. Her first conversation with him was barely a paragraph. It was mainly hi and bye and great to meet you. Now, they were on a road trip together. Weeks ago, he wasn't even there. Now, he was already part of her life. She knew that part of her had developed a fondness towards him but she still couldn't tell exactly what it is yet. She knew he won't stay long. In probably a month or two or maybe tomorrow, he could be leaving already. A part of her was scared for that to happen but at least she was (or she thought she was) prepared in case something happened or feelings changed.

They arrived at the convention just in time. There were people going in and out of the building. Jane saw some familiar faces and greeted some of them. Steve was amazed to see many young women attending the event. Women in the science field weren't uncommon but it was nice to see them getting interested in science and getting into male dominating fields were frowned upon for some people. And only two women won the novel prize in history.

They entered the building and Jane was greeted by some people, assumed as scientists. When they left, he turned to Jane asking if she was okay.

She took a deep breath. 'I hope so.'

A woman in a black corporate attire seemingly in her 40s approached Jane. 'Doctor Foster! I thought you weren't coming?'

Jane smiled. 'I guess I changed my mind.'

The woman turned her gaze to Steve and immediately recognized him.

'Oh and Captain America is here...'

'Yes. Eula, Steve, Steve, Eula.' Jane cut her off because she knew if people find out that Steve was in the building, might cause a ruckus.

'Please do me a favor and let no one know about him being here.'

Eula nodded. 'Of course. I will leave you two now, and I will have to inform the committee that you're here. Excuse me.'

She walked by Steve and he heard her giggling. He turned back to Jane who was shrugging her shoulders.

'I guess a cap can't hide you anymore.'

He grinned at her. 'I'll manage.'

He can see how tense she looked. Having hidden in the shadows for quite a while and then having to go out in the sun wasn't easy. He appreciated that she took the guts to get herself out. He hoped that the plan won't backfire.

Minutes later, Darcy called Jane that she was being summoned into a meeting room. Before walking away, Jane turned to Steve who gestured her to go ahead.

'Go ahead. I'll be fine. See you later.'

Before she left with Darcy, she gave him a faint smile.

40 minutes later...

Jane was about to go onstage. She was about to thousands of people. She had done speeches in front of a large crowd ever since she became popular after being the first human to travel to another dimension, had discovered the convergence and of course, saved the world alongside Thor. No matter how many times she had done it, she never stopped feeling nervous. The only difference between then and now was that yesterday, she made it clear that she won't be attending the event which eventually was spread around. People were surprised to know that she indeed showed up. Darcy who was on her side the whole time couldn't help overhearing gossips about Jane, mostly about Thor. Since Jane was still sensitive to that topic, she would just relay the things she heard to Erik.

Steve stood at the back beside Erik. When he saw Jane step up to the stage, he clapped and cheered. Thor would often tell the Avengers about Jane's speech whenever he was there. This time, he got watch her.

'I know that these past days, I've been hiding in the shadows, missing out these big events and how it affected my career…' She started.

She opened up about her depression and self-esteem and how she was trying to get over them. She didn't mention her miscarriage and especially her relationship with Thor. She talked about mostly her struggles and the effect to her career.

'I didn't prepare a speech actually but… I feel like I had to say this. Someone once told me that if I weren't here now, I'm not the person I know I am. And he was right. For the past days, I thought that my world is falling apart. It affected my career, my friends, and me especially. People say that no one can't help you but yourself but in my experience, I had someone help me help myself. They made me see who I really am and what I'm capable of. I just realized how much effort they did to help me but I wasn't helping myself. But they never gave up. So here I am now.'

Steve smiled as she kept on going. To him it was so moving and beautiful.

She is so beautiful. He never thought how much she was until he saw her up there, admired by a lot while delivering such an inspirational message. There were many people around, but his eyes were gazed on her as if she was the only person in the room.