Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

With eyes shut tight, Michelle worried about the others.

She had learned long ago that if you focused all the energy you would waste on self pity into other things, you forgot all your own problems. So she worried about them.
She worried about them in their little pods, with their nerves and thoughts and own worries. How their casual, joking banter mocked their own fears of going on a multi-century journey into the vast darkness of relatively unknown. With drunken declarations of worse possible things that could happened were mixed with the overselling of every leisure the Nexus had been said to offer once they got through 'the big sleep'. This was all to slather on their brains like bio-gel over a throbbing sore of fear.
Fear of failure. Fear of disappointment. Fear of death.
Well, for some.

“Don't worry though.” Saavi, an Asari care provider had said, the glass in her hand tilting dangerously towards the floor, “If you do die during it, you won't even know.”

She had meant it to be comforting, but all it had done for Michelle was earn her a delayed cryo nap and a disgruntled Turian staff hand.

“We can't activate your pod until your heart rate comes down,” the muffled alien language warned from somewhere on her left, “If you can't do it on your own we will be forced to sedate you.”

Even with her Omni-tool stashed away in her locker, and her heart thumping in her ears, Michelle could just make out everything. However, her already racing mind wouldn't allow her to remember how to apologize in Turian.
To the average person unfamiliar with the tips and tricks of cryogenic procedure this seemed like a blessing, but for Michelle, she knew better. Go in drugged, come out drugged, and adding a sedation medication on top of the usual lag one felt upon waking from a long cryogenic sleep, it would feel like someone had injected you with Varren tranquilizer. Michelle couldn't remember in that moment whether to blame the human body or science for this cause and effect but that wasn't the important thing. The important thing was to make it so it didn't have to happen.

However, it turned out that adding another worry onto an already teetering pile of worry didn't do much good to stop said product of worrying.

In an effort to dull the panic she opened her eyes and stared up past the initial blinding flash of light and into the ceiling of her compartment. The lip of the pod curved just into view in the corner of her vision and if she lifted her head slightly, she could see the other pods around her. All shut and activated, their contents within unable to worry anymore, if they had worried at all. Michelle felt a thin layer of cold sweat rise up on her face as every 'what if' bubbled to the surface and burned away the bio-gel scab she had worked to build the night before at the party. The more she tried to remember the good, all she could make out was the pulsing music that had been playing over her coworkers then. She hadn't even been listening to it but now she heard every word. Blaring over the jokes, blaring over the voices, blaring over the already muffled Turian who seemed closer but was still unintelligible.
What could she do? It took everything she had to keep in a bout of laughter at the irony of her situation. The child care provider with a fool proof regiment of how to help children handle their fear and anxiety couldn't handle her own fear and anxiety. It was so pathetic it was borderline cliche.
The music screamed, the faces all melted together, with any luck, she would pass out from her internal hysteria and the problem would just solve itself.
Sadly, it was not to be and with a sharp prick of a needle all the color in Michelle's vision washed away till only the burning white stripes of the ceiling lights were visible. The music was gone now, replaced by the chimes of codes being accepted, the hissing of hydraulics, the click of her pod door closing.
The light began to dim, first from the pod window tinting as it reached full activation and then from the weight of her eyes closing as the sedative hung in her blood and clouded her brain.

The last thing she remembered was a muffled send off from the pod's speaker system.

Chapter Text

Jazz.

The music playing in the pod when Michelle awoke seconds later was jazz. Smooth jazz as far as she could tell through her haze. She had requested it, even gave them a playlist, though now the fact that even in her drug addled state she could recognize it was a smooth jazz cover of the Blasto theme killed some of the mood. The pod looked like twilight, dull and calm, that odd grayish purple color she could just barely remember from the scant years she had been on Earth. Part of her knew it was just the window tinting slowly undoing itself to let in the outside world, but part of her wanted to believe that it was actually natural light.
Her memory was slowly shaping images to find where she was and why she was there when the pod opened with the hiss of a broken seal.

Where'sis?
A...Und...Andromeda?
Wait. We maydit?

Hands helped sit Michelle up, guided her out of the pod and onto a lobby couch in the next room over. A voice speaking her own language weaved in and out of earshot though it had to be no more than a few feet in front of her. She was handed something hot, probably coffee, and propped up with a pillow placed in the small of her back as the voice died out and a new foreign one came in. Which one she couldn't tell but from the speed it was probably Salarian. She wasn't sure but nonetheless it buzzed on from the eternal distance of three feet away. Michelle's head nodded down to stare into the slightly rippling surface of he coffee. She could see herself, fuzzy eyed and hung over, hardly able to keep herself from lulling her head back and forth with the motion her sedation was making her feel. It felt calm yet nauseating, as if she were underwater being rocked by a current. She could only hope not to throw up.
Somehow, she managed to lift the mug and sipped at it. Had she had any feeling in her face or control of her muscles she would have recoiled from the severely bitter taste of raw six hundred year flash frozen black coffee.
So, they had made it.

Wonderful.

There was no sarcasm in this thought, it was in fact genuinely wonderful. She looked at the walls and the artificial windows slowly transitioning to the different planets that she had been teased with to apply for the Andromeda Initiative, plus some new ones. One with snow, one with overgrown jungle and one that looked like what she could only describe as every generic city people hundreds of years ago seemed to portray cities of 'the future' to look like in movies. How long had she been asleep for? Was that The Initiative's doing? Had they actually be able to build something like that? She couldn't imagine any of the architects she had met before departure were that stale in their imagination. Certainly not Kesh, not by a long shot.
No, it had to be alien.
New aliens.
New Aliens, with children? Maybe, she would have to check, but if it was true that would be a game changer. Nowhere in the hype of The Initiative's shilling had they mentioned any hint of other alien species in this new galaxy; which at the time, Michelle knew was far fetched. How do you not have aliens in a new galaxy? Had they really been expected to believe that they had found the one galaxy with no other intelligent life in it? Someone at the party who had over heard the concern had thrown out the 'millions of galaxies, one has to be empty' excuse, but even that was met with halfhearted, uncomfortable fake laughter. Michelle wasn't stupid, and neither were any of them. They all thought it but it was just another thing about this mission that they buried down deep, next to the coffins labeled 'death' and 'failure'.

There had always been something nefarious in this push for assumption, one Michelle had tried to bury as well but always failed. While Jien had been, at least on the surface, genuinely well meaning in all of her plans and intentions for The Initiative, there was no way to deny that there was something, not only in human nature, but in the nature of all sentient species to put their own well being above that of even the most innocent of victims.
No matter how you spun it, there was no way that a mission using so many resources, that had to go through so much red tape, that had sold millions of people of all species and types on a seemingly impossible pipe dream, was going to let a little thing like 'native inhabitants' fuck up their goal. There was no ignoring it now, not for Michelle at least. She would have to now face the possibility that the fruits of such labor were going to stare her in the face, either in the form of conquered, broken people, or the bitter and rage inducing casual reply of 'oh yeah, that's not a problem anymore' from one of her fellow Initiative members. There were of course other answers: that the aliens had been extinct for a long amount of time before they got there and this was just something left over. Or that everything had worked out perfectly peaceful and everyone was shitting rainbows and riding unicorns. However, that was too much to ask for, especially the unicorns.
Holy shit, she was out of it.
Regardless of the answer she would have to work around it, with it, through it. Make what ever situation she was about to be ushered into a little bit better for everyone involved. Especially for the children of whatever poor race The Initiative might have curb stomped all over. That was if they had in fact existed and or survived in the first place. Her Director, Kamela Lan, may have said that each employee's top priority was their own species but at this point...

“You'll need to issue statements to the other species about their specific situations. The Krogan specifically from what I hear...”
The voice finally cut in clearly for the first time in what felt like hours; familiar but still echoing beyond the grasp of her lagging mind.
“That's Kamela's job...” Michelle mumbled with what felt like all her might.
There was a noticeable pause.
“Kamela's dead, Shelly.”

That woke her up. All at once the muscles in Michelle's neck decided to finally work and yank her head up from staring at the floor, causing her to feel as if the floor had yanked itself from under her feet. She stumbled backwards and felt the sharp pain of her shoulder blades banging against something hard and uneven. She pulled away and turned to look out at the rapidly passing metal and sleepy lights of a tunnel they were traveling through; her back burning under her uniform from being pulled away from the cold glass. Where they on the Nexus monorail? When had that happened? How long had they been out of the recovery room? Had she just been ghost walking this whole time? When had she even finished her coffee? Six hundred years in cryo and yet this was the most impressive time travel she had ever done in her life.
Trying to shake the last of her drug induced confusion out of her head with a physical toss of her head she turned to see a very confused but familiar face.

Sylas Tulok, the youngest member of the care giver team, even by Salarian standards was a mere fourteen years old but had been very enthusiastic to join The Initiative. He had babbled on endlessly about his passion and credentials at the meet and greet they had taken part in before the big going away party. He had never worked personally with children but was very eager and very well versed in Salarian biology and sociology. Loved seeing things grow and evolve.
He also loved to talk.
Lord almighty, did he love to talk.
This was why they had probably stuck her with him. Who else would be able to fill her in on everything happening in record time?

“I'm sorry, what?”
Sylas looked as if she had slapped him in the face. He was oddly dramatic for a Salarian, but only because he had apparently watched many vids in order to better relate and convey his emotions to his non-Salarian coworkers. That was his excuse at least, Michelle figured he was just eccentric which was probably the real reason he had wanted to leave the Milky Way in the first place.
“Have you not heard a single thing I've said?” Sylas sputtered.
“I'm dragging on a sedation injection, Sylas. Give me a break.”
“You are?” His face went from confused to concerned, “There wasn't any note of that on your file...”
So they hadn't even taken the time to add that in. Sloppy, very sloppy, and dangerous. Michelle wanted to make excuses for this to ease her own mind. Maybe they had been pressed for time and the assistant hadn't had time to enter it in before getting into their own pod? Maybe they had been a rookie and simply overlooked it? That one troubled her; a Cryogenisis assistant overlooking a critical note on someone coming out of long term sleep? Michelle was certain, told flat out in fact, that The Initiative had taken painstaking time to make sure to have on the best. You needed to have the best with so many lives in your hands.
Alas, there was nothing that could be done about it now aside from maybe filing a complaint with Operations about the assistant. She hadn't gotten their name, only that they were Turian, but honestly why make waves? Michelle was coming out of the drag and slowly feeling like a person again anyway, it was time to stop dwelling on things that had happened and focus on the literal future.
What was she thinking? Of course she had to dwell on things that had happened. Her boss was apparently dead!
“Don't worry about it, tell me what happened again. I'm sure there are more things you probably wanted to add in that you didn't the first time, right? Go nuts.” Michelle watched the tight line of Sylas's mouth curl up into a little smile at this. He did love to talk after all.

Michelle actually had to turn on her translator to keep up with version two of Sylas' history lesson as he rattled through all the old parts, excitedly chattering out new frivolous details. He spoke as if going down a list: Something called the Scourge that had been the cause of Kamela's death, an Upraising of some sort, something about vaults in the middle of planets, a very seemingly simplistic explanation about problems with the Arks, new Pathfinders, new colonies, new Directors all across the board. Even with the amount of information pouring from Sylas, it felt like everything she was being told was half the story. She figured she could ask him to go into more detail about things, but she trusted that if it had been a bigger deal he would tell her.

“Where are we going?” She finally asked when a beep on the overhead intercom sounded with a voice saying something about maintenance in Hydroponics.
“Operations. You'll need to talk to the new Director.”
“I see. So, Jien's gone too, huh?”
“Mmhmm, she was one of the first killed when the Nexus hit the Scourge, her and the six commanding officers below her.” Sylas was finally speaking at a speed that allowed Michelle to turn off her translator again. A different voice over the radio announced they would soon be arriving in Operations. Everything was becoming more and more bleak. In all this time and confusion Jien had been the link holding everything together. Maybe there would have been more of a chance for a smoother transition from devastation to regrouping and problem solving had perhaps the second or third in command had survived, but that wasn't an option. Seven superior officers gone in one fatal swoop. How does that even happen? It was unsurprising that tensions had run high enough for an Uprising to go down. Though from how Sylas had described it, it hadn't seemed to have gone too poorly.
“How long has it been since we arrived?”
“Two years and a couple months. It was a shit show.”
“Must have been, since we're only being woken up now. So who's the Director in charge?”
Sylas let out a long sigh and made an annoyed suction sound with the corner of his mouth, as if saying the name was the result of having a gun pointed at his head.
“Jarun Tann.”
Michelle's entire upper body jolted back in sincere disbelief.
“The Accountant?”
Sylas didn't look at her, just made the suction sound again and stared out the window of the rail car door.

Michelle remembered Jarun Tann, though barely. She had seen him in a cluster of people over the heads of her own group at the party, nursing a drink more melted ice than liquor and trying to act social despite his obvious discomfort. Typical Salarian, strong intelligence and perfect professional posture coupled with a healthy enough dose of antisocial behavior. Under the dim, ever changing lights of the meeting hall the party was in, his complexion had caught her eye. Common gray coloring with hot points of light, bright ice blue around his mouth, palms of his hands and neck, and a flourishing blush of dusty rose pink around his eyes. He looked bitchin' when the black light came on. In her later drunken haze that night, Michelle had gotten the great, borderline brilliant idea to take her hot mess of a self over and thank him for 'approving all the great shit she had asked for'. Having had a walk through of the best nursery and care labs The Initiatives constrained budget would allow earlier that day, it seemed to be the only logical and down right polite thing to do. She had gotten only so far, scaring him half to death by introducing herself with a, what she thought had been, gentle pat on the shoulder. She vaguely remembered asking him some random question before the lights came and Jien got everyone's attention for her big grandstanding speech. By the end of it, Michelle had spots in her eyes and Jarun Tann had vanished. It was probably for the best, she had been, after all, extremely drunk. She was surprised he hadn't had a heart attack already. Being the director of a finance department was very different from managing an entire mission and judging by Sylas's reaction, it wasn't going very well.

“Wow,” Michelle chuckled sympathetically, “that poor man.”
“Poor you.” Sylas said in a correcting tone, prompting Michelle to look up at him questioningly, “You're about to be, what is the old human saying, 'in the same ship'?”
The car stopped with a smooth press of unseen breaks and everything finally dawned on her. Jesus Christ, she was about to be in the same...
“Boat. 'In the same boat', Sylas.”
“Ah, good. Your memory is working well then. Maybe you can use that time in said boat to...get us some pull.”

'Time in said boat', huh?, Michelle thought. Up Shit Creek without a paddle.

The doors swished open with a graceful, metallic 'whoosh' and the two stepped out of the car. The bright sign reading OPERATIONS greeting Michelle like the gateway to Hell.

Chapter Text

“We have to collect the clearance codes for Ark Paarchero occupant files still, Director.”
“Is there anything I can do for you, Director?”
“You look tired, Director. Shall I ready a nap for you, Director?”
“I could peel you a grape if you so wish, Director. That is if we still have grapes, Director.”
“Stop that.” Michelle snapped in annoyance, “It's not official yet.”
“It's pretty damn official, Director.”
Saavi did her best to keep her voice even but couldn't quite do it over the effort to hold down her laughter. She had been waiting there with Xavier, the Turian head caretaker for the Pediatrics department, and they hadn't wasted any time with their teasing.
“You both seem excited, given what I've heard has happened since we've been out.”
“Oh, well we've been up for a while. Had time to get over it. Twenty-four hours is an acceptable amount of time to get over astronomical loss, right? Not the sign of a sociopath at all, right Director?”

Saavi was fun, Saavi was smart, but damn it was she flippant about everything. Michelle had met her her first semester of University long ago and had been Michelle's cheat sheet for a lot of her Asari related studies in exchange for helping Saavi with her human related ones. At the ripe old age of six hundred forty six she embodied the stereotype of 'the friend mom'. One of those women who despite being a mother of three herself, all of which had stayed behind in the Milky Way, hadn't changed her 'hip' attitude. Coming from anyone else, that sort of life style would grind Michelle's gears to the point of pure fury; for Saavi however, she made an exception. Years of friendship had gained her a sort of desensitization and understanding to the jungle gym that was Saavi's mind.

“Twenty-four hours?” Michelle inquired to keep the train of thought on track.
“Thirty-six for me.” Xavier chimed in with a raised hand.
Michelle whipped her head over to Sylas who looked like he could create a diamond from how clench his cloaca must have been.
“Three days..” Sylar mumbled meekly, averting his gaze when Michelle's face tightened up,“and Zarnia, Rane and Rylee are in the lab. Along with a number of other staff. I'm not sure how long they've been up...”
“Was there some reason that I, the Director wasn't woken up sooner?”
“Oh, so now you're the Director?” Saavi's quip was met with the angriest look Michelle could muster, causing Saavi to snort and put her face in her hand.
Xavier cut in to save the conversation.
“We figured with your new promotion and all we should let you sleep longer and get things ready for you. Make things easier on you. Get the lab up and running, collect client files, clean up the Care Center-”
“'Clean up'? Why would you need to 'clean up'?” Michelle wiped nonexistent sweat from her brow. Her hands had started shaking and she needed to give them something to do before she started vibrating.
It was at this time Saavi decided to be an adult for a few seconds.
“The Scourge knocked some things loose. Made a huge mess, cut power, damaged large portions of the Nexus. Put that together with insanity the Uprising brought and Operations had to cut off attention to certain departments. Ours was one of them. If Ryder hadn't shown up with the Hyperion this thing would still be a floating hunk of metal from what I hear.”
So, it was worse than she though. No, worse than Sylas had made her think.
“Which means?” Michelle moaned.
“No cleaning, no upkeep, no cosmetic repairs. They've had maintenance down there for longer than any of us have been awake making sure everything was ready for us but it's been more than they bargained for. I think we lost an incubation station...”
Over the busy noise of hundreds of people around her going about their work something in the back of Michelle's brain was screaming uncontrollably, like a frustrated toddler. No, more like a legitimate nervous breakdown. This was all too much already, no wonder Sylas had seemed to only have half the story, because it was half the story, he was afraid to tell her at the present time. It's why he hadn't told her he had been awake longer than her. She had assumed it given his knowledge but three days? Now that she thought of it, he hadn't said anything about the actual state of the Pediatrics department. He was trying to spare her, trickle in the severity of everything little by little. If there was one stereotype the Salarians upheld, it was that they always knew more than they let on, the scrawny little shits. It took everything to push down the quiver in her throat as she spoke slowly and carefully.
“I...appreciate you all...thinking of my well being.” She took a deep breath and let it out, her fingers lacing between each other and twisting to crack her knuckles, which caused Sylas to flinch. She remembered he was the product of the over all situation at hand. She had to seeing as it was the only way she was suppressed the urge to shake the shit out of him. “So...now that we're all awake, and on track, we can...work to...get everything up and running. I will need, I guess, all of Kamela's notes and personnel files and equipment data and what the fuck is that?”

A flash of something purple had walked at a distance behind Saavi and Sylas from one side of the Operations area to the other. When it stopped, Michelle with fingers still laced, pointed subtly for them all to look over their shoulders.

“Oh, that.” Saavi said as if it was just some common bird or cat, “That's an Angaran. New alien. They live with us now I guess.”
Michelle watched with a blank expression as Saavi shrugged and Sylas nervously laughed no louder than a whisper.
“S-Surpriiiiise...” he whimpered and gave what could only be assumed to be his attempt at jazz hands.
She would have been thrilled, were she not already so overwhelmed with everything else around her going on. Xavier, seeing Michelle's mouth open and inhale enough breath to power a melt down worthy of security involvement, once again cut in to get everything back on track.
“Everything is ready for you to receive and get started. You just need to go get them.”
“Where do I have to go get them from?” Michelle muttered flatly, all emotion leaving her voice as she exhaled and stared blankly at the flat-faced purple creature like it was her only anchor to sanity. She silently prayed she wouldn't have to go to the morgue. The last thing she needed was to have to manually transfer things over from a corpse or even just a property box.
“Director Tann.” Saavi said with a grunt of annoyance, “I offered to take them for you and give them over but he said something about clearance and authority and responsibility and sensitive information and some by the book shit. You know Salaraians.”
“I'm standing right here.”
“Oh, grow a pair, Sylas.”

Michelle nodded and asked where, nodding when Xavier pointed somewhere to the left. At this point, talking to a Salarian Director was a godsend. If there was one thing she was sure he wasn't going to skimp on, it was the actual details. Though it would probably be much harder for her to keep herself from crumbling under the weight of everything she hadn't been told. Still, she worked for him, not the other way around, he wouldn't need to spare her sanity. He would just need the job done.

“Alright, well, I'm going to go and get that and you are all going to stop-” Her hand came up with an open and closed motion like the mouth of a duck between Sylas and Saavi, who were arguing needlessly about the scientific impossibility of a Salarian 'growing a pair'. Like two children who had just been scolded by their mother they shut up and listened. “Stop messing around and go get everything...bare minimum operational. Saavi, I need you and Zarnia to make sure our operating system for client information is up and running, I don't want any crashes or bugs or whatever. Make sure you check to see who we've already got and add in anything we don't till we get the Ark files all complied. When that's done, back it up on a separate system and put it in Ka- my office. Also make sure our monitor and holo system is up to snuff in the care center for lessons and morning announcements. Xavier, you and Rane need to make sure our supplement supply is stocked or at least ready to take on the amount of things we'll need; first aid supplies, omni-gel, whatever we're classifying as food now, levo and dextro. After that check the nesting nook for everything you and yours would need like heated padding and such. Make sure it's not running too hot, we don't want to roast anyone. Sylas- Sylas, for the love of all that's holy, relax your cloaca, I am not mad at you. I want you and Rylee to check everything we have for the Salarian infancy care unit and make sure its functioning properly. This means the clutch tanks, adolescent pools and the activity tubing. If the workers cut one of them off have them repair it and then flood it to check for leaks. Check everything for leaks. Everything. Then you're going to make sure the Microids are fully functional, you got it? I don't care if you have to test each of them one at a time in a glass of water, you got it? Nod if you get it. There you go, that's my boy. Finally, if Pearl is awake tell her to check the incubators and make sure the power levels can get high enough for a Krogan infant should we need it, and you know we are going to need it. Have Linda help her if she has any trouble.”
At the mention of Pearl everyone visibly fidgeted, but Michelle had little time or energy to devote to asking the reason. She chalked it up to their feelings towards Krogan mannerisms or at worse, that Pearl was dead; just another victim of unforeseen circumstance. Again, she didn't have the time or energy. If she even gave more than a passing thought to Pearl being gone, she would have to be carried into Director Tann's office on a stretcher.
“Alright?” Michelle chirped, giving an almost violently forced double thumbs up, which was met with single handed matching thumbs up ranging from strong to weak between the three of them.
“Aye aye, Director.” Saavi said with a wink and mock salute before turning to go.
“See you soon, Director.” Xavier nodded with a slight smile in his eyes before heading off as well.
Sylas stood nervously still, obviously unsure of what to do. Michelle wasn't sure if in his cagey, wits end state of mind he was waiting for her to verbally dismiss him of if he was just frozen. Either way she couldn't help but feel bad for him. In any other situation she would have comforted him and tried to soothe him till he was confident in the fact that she wasn't going to flog him, but she couldn't do that, not here or now at least. Sooner or later he would need to be able to crawl himself out of that hole all on his own. After thirty seconds of no change though, Michelle figured that day would have to come at a slightly later date.
With her two thumbs she stood on her toes and reached up, gently pressing the pads of them to the corners of Sylas's mouth to try and get them to lift. This was a tactic she had adopted along with the 'forced laugh' technique when she needed to get children out of a funk. She continually pressed while smiling herself till he finally broke and smiled as well, passively reaching up to swat her hands away with his own. Anyone watching probably would have thought them both insane. With a deep breath they both nodded to each other before Sylas took his leave.
“Director.” He said with warm sincerity before weaving in and disappearing into the moving crowds, leaving Michelle alone in a room full of people.

She thanked Kesh silently for having designed each main department to be marked with huge glowing letters. If there was one thing Kesh was good at, it was making sure you knew what everything was for. She wanted to believe it was to reflect how efficient of an architect she was, but more than likely it was probably because she doubted the competency of everyone around her. Either way it was a godsend as far as Michelle was concerned and it eventually lead her to the bright end of the hall and up a short flight of stairs. The brightness she found out came more from the larger amount of lighting than the outside world, which Michelle could now see was the foggy, purple vastness of space. Same old, same old. She tried to imagine wind on her face and grass under her feet, using the thought of it to push her forward into this mess she was about to step into. It had been decades since she had felt anything close to that, if you didn't count the one time she was able to sneak her foot out of her shoe and put it into a tiny square of green at a Citadel park, but it was enough. If the changing images had been any indication of what they now had access to, maybe she could arrange a trip some time in the far, far distant future.
She turned left and faked a confident walk, looking up at the window and squinting to focus on anything behind it. She could just make out a tall, lean silhouette, which even though the panel on the door read 'Pathfinder Headquarters', was evidence enough for her to assume said door was the entrance to Tann's office. Formally Jien's office.

Alright, abandon all faith ye who enter here...

Stopping in front of the door, she rolled her shoulders, took a deep breath and lifted her left arm to access her keypad.
“Director.” She whispered as she pressed in her preassigned code to allow her access, no longer sure if she was talking about Tann or herself anymore.

Chapter Text

“Director Mayer.” Michelle's name chimed in her ears in a well rehearsed, high pitched tone. “Director Tann has been expecting you.”

To anyone else this would have sounded like a string of jibberish played at ten times the speed and backwards; but for her it was just Salarian. A female Salarian specifically, she could tell from the practiced polite speech pattern reflecting that of privileged feminine upbringing. Not to mention the intimidatingly height of being over six foot two. By the sound of her voice she had to be young, maybe just a bit older than Sylas by three or four years at the most and her complexion was a rich and vibrant deep blue, meaning both her parents had probably been similar shades really bringing out the more subtle of hues under the lights of the office. She stepped out from behind the desk right inside the door to greet Michelle, data pad in hand and uniform pressed and plain looking against her natural beauty.

“Oh, good. I...” Michelle started to engage in stereotypical niceties when the awe was washed away by a sudden train of thought: what the Hell was a female Salarian doing here? Not just on the Nexus hundreds of light years away from her home planet but as a fucking personal assistant? To a male no less! Could she have been an 'offshoot' and therefore had more ability to move around as she pleased? She looked too pampered to be an offshoot. Before she could pick a better tone of voice to use, the words just tumbled out of her mouth in reflection of her utter bewilderment.

“I-I'm glad. And you are?”

She wished she could have gone back in time to redo everything that had just happened. To psych herself up and prepare for yet another insane happenstance, but it was too late now. The female's face tightened and the light in her eyes shifted in a way to imply she had adverted her gaze in awkward embarrassment. Frankly, Michelle couldn't blame her. The female, knowing who she was speaking to and more than likely her credentials, had no way to disguise the very taboo situation she had been placed in. If she was this uncomfortable with a human, Michelle pitied the poor girl for whatever she must have felt when a Salarian had to come in and talk to the Director. At this point she was living out the equivalent of a nightmare. She was on the Nexus, which meant she had to have some type of amazing and useful skill like genetics or something. Salarian females weren't just pretty things that sat around and laid eggs. Even Rylee had a high level of skill in mechanics and had only been allowed to leave her position because she had done her breeding time and wanted more out of her short life. Yet here was this poor thing, behind a desk, greeting guests and filing reports for a male of her own species who, had she stayed home, she would have never even known existed due to how insignificant he was. It was probably insulting if not disgusting to her. Michelle wanted to hope that this was just a matter of Tann wanting to keep his own race close to feel like he had someone he could trust close to him and not some blatant act of humiliation for the sake of his own superiority. Judging by the fact that the female was more displeased than bitter, Michelle figured, or at least hoped it was the former.

“Aide, Miss Mayer.”

“And how long have you been...here?”

“Since we opened the Pathfinder Headquarters.”

“Is it...fun?”

You fucking idiot. Seriously?

“It's a job.”

“That's true.” They both stood there, Aide shuffling her feet and Michelle clearing her throat and trying again with a more upbeat voice, “Do you do this full time or is this just the day job?”

Before Aide could answer there was a beep on her omni-tool and she motioned toward the ramp off to their left as of she was throwing something away, “The Director will see you now.”

Michelle took the hint and nodded with a soft “Thank you, Aide” before making her way up, allowing Aide to go back and try to erase the last five minutes out of her photographic memory.

The encounter had reminded Michelle of her harrowing quest to acquire female Salarian information in grad school. Such knowledge was the absolute holy grail when it came to the field of alien breeding and rearing. It was impressive enough if you knew about male Salarian upbringing, but if you knew how the female system worked, you could get your foot in any door having to do with anything inter-species related. Would you ever need such info? Not outside of Sur'Kesh or other Salarian territory at least. In fact, in all her time at different care centers and universities not one of her employers or professors actually used her claim of knowledge for more than a boast in conversations at conventions or conferences. Nothing gets people wet for admittance to your place of business or school like 'we have a non Salarian who knows female breeding practices' apparently. They didn't even fact checked her, though it's not like they could have, anyway. She could have told them Salarian children were attracted to yellow diamonds and they would have just plastered the walls and showed off swatches while any Salarian within ear shot would have clicked their tongues and snickered at the stupidity.

Salarian children actual preferred white circles and other organic shapes, which reminded them of the pearls of light that would reflect against the walls and floor of their tide pool in their infant days.

But that was neither here nor there.

Michelle's achievement of such 'forbidden knowledge' however, had been through shady deals with a long chain of different aliens who all 'knew a guy, who knew a guy, who knew a Salarian' willing to take extremely high payment for sensitive and dangerous inside information. Every deal always came with the prerequisite warning of 'this could get you killed'. Nonetheless, Michelle was thirsty for it and worked constantly on next to no sleep, taking on three jobs all on top of classes to pay for what added up in some cases to a paragraph worth of information. This went on for three years. She was convinced if Saavi hadn't 'pulled some strings' to get her sparse days off it would have killed her. In the end it had been worth it, to her at least. When the Initiative had actually fact checked her information via Rylee and other lesser Salarian female care staff already hired on, Michelle had to mute her comm link to cry tears of joy. A stunning eighty-five percent of her knowledge had been correct, with the other fifteen percent being fluff and personal preferences of who the information had been given to her by.

“I'm surprised no one killed you,” Rylee had said with mild impress when they discussed it face to face later, “but I suppose even if no one ever believed you knew anything, someone was probably watching to make sure you weren't just spreading it around. They would have killed you instantly.” It was the greatest compliment Michelle had ever received.

She made her way up the ramp past the, what must have been the official 'waiting area'. It was taken up with an obnoxiously large corner couch, coffee table and television which switched between weather forecasts with pictures of the different planets and fluff pieces on, what she assumed were members of the Pathfinder crews and various other employees deemed important. The second floor, which Michelle figured to be the actual 'Headquarters' part almost blinded her with how bright it was compared to the waiting area just a few steps below. All the lighting being reflected off the immaculately stylish shiny surfaces made her wonder why they had bothered with even putting in windows.You could have easily fit over two dozen people in the space, even with the generously sized central placed meeting station and even larger holo station against the wall by the windows, switching between diagrams of what she guessed were, once again, their new planets. This must have been meant to act as metals of honor but it was at this point, the advertising was feeling a little excessive. If the Initiative had been here for years, wouldn't all this be general knowledge? She could have sworn in a few pictures she had seen actual people in them, so what was with all the constant promotion? Her gaze drifted past the planet labeled 'Voeld' as it materialized and stopped at the multiple screens set up in their own little nook right beside it. It was an overwhelming display. No one needed to take in that much information in her opinion, not all at once at least. Not to mention the way they were all stacked on top of each other was enough to confuse anyone. She was placing bets in her mind about how only the bottom three screens were probably used at the same time at most when the sight of another ridiculous couch and televisions killed whatever ambiance the rest of the area had built up. The couch could fit as many people as could probably be fit into the room on it's own, which yes had its advantage but still! Even in the case of having everyone on it, there were only two televisions on either side of it. The people in the middle would have to sit in front of a matching pair of what she assumed to be Pathfinder armor behind glass. Was this normal? Maybe this was normal for these sorts of places. What did she know? She grew up in a garage and after that studio apartments where the bedroom doubled as the living room and kitchen. Maybe important people just sat around on poorly placed couches with their coffee staring up at inanimate objects. The couches didn't even look comfortable, it was too geometric and flat to give off any kind of warm welcome. At least there was some plants around it to breathe life into the place...

“I understand your concern.”

A string of Salarian broke her concentration, followed by a language Michelle had never heard before. A deep and strong sounding one, that sounded as if spoken from the belly, yet still feminine. She assumed it would be very relaxing to listen to at length, if at this moment it didn't sound so...imposing. She switched on her translator and slowly listened as the language morphed into her own.

“--could be damaging.”

“I assure you,” Tann continued, “you will have nothing to worry about. Our care team is more than qualified to deal with anything you throw at them.”

“I would like to think that our children would not be something to be 'dealt with'. Or thrown.”

“Of course, forgive me, I misspoke. Nonetheless, I promise you can have faith in their skills.”

Turning her head, Michelle's eyes traveled up the final ramp to the dead end at the top that housed a wide control desk lit up with a flat glowing screen. Through the haze of it, she could just make out a figure in a video call.

Odd , she thought, why would he be ready for me if he was still in a call?

It was then it became clear; the beep Aide had received hadn't been a signal to send her up. It had probably been something else she used as a frantic excuse to remove herself from continuing their conversation. Michelle thought about going back down but that seemed silly, what if he finished before he got there and she looked like she was leaving? That would reflect poorly on her. So, as quietly as possible, she crept up the ramp and stood behind the screen, hands clasped in front of her, waiting politely like she use to as a child.

“We have absolutely no desire to leave our children in the hands of aliens who have shown no evidence they can even raise their own. Your one you had recently was born recklessly in dangerous enemy territory. It does not inspire confidence, Director.”

“That was a special case. It is not the norm. Our team here has studied, in some cases, hundreds of years in order to provide the utmost care, I assure you.”

“Are they mothers?”

“I...I'm sure some of them are.”

Wait, there was a child already born? Goddamnit, Sylas, seriously?!

As she listened to the smooth sounding, intimidating female verbally brow beat Tann, Michelle realized that she hadn't actually heard him speak before now. That is, unless you counted the slight shriek he let out when she nearly knocked his arm off to introduce herself at the party. He had an accent, from where she couldn't put her finger on but it wasn't the common Salarian dialect. The translator, in an effort to not only play catch up with the language but as well unscramble the extra emphasis placed on certain words, only made the accent thicker and even went so far as to make it sound like he had a lisp. Against her better judgment, Michelle couldn't help but find it charming. It was the little things that made people stand out, and with a race like the Salarians, they could use a bit of standing out from each other. Once she moved past the accent however, a few other glaring unintentional characteristics came through in Tann's speech pattern.

He was speaking carefully; very carefully in fact. There was a slight pause before he would say anything, as if he was running things through a sort of filtering system in his head; sifting the unfavorable responses to come up with more people pleasing ones. It sounded pedantic, down right patronizing actually. To anyone else he probably sounded like nothing more than a snake oil salesman, saying whatever you wanted to hear to get you to buy into his scheme. Odder still he sounded tired, and not just tired, exhausted. She could only wonder how long this conversation had been going on. The voice on the other side of the screen had said something about children, so they were without a doubt talking about the Pediatrics department and judging by the need for her translator, they had to be a member of the new alien race. What were they called? Angarans?

“I will need to speak to them myself. Our children are more important to us than anything in the universe, Director. We do not just throw them into a room with strangers and let fate sort it out.”

“I am meeting with the Director of our Pediatrics department soon, I will make it a priority to set up a meeting between you two.”

“I would hope that would have been your priority anyway.”

Tann croaked out a sound of something he had probably wanted to say but then swallowed it again with a defeated sigh.

“Of course.”

“Till then.”

Tann tried to offer a farewell but the cold beep of a dropped call sounded and he inhaled deeply, letting the breath out through his teeth with a frustrated hiss. There was a more audible sigh as he pressed a button, dropping the screen and revealing Michelle behind it. He didn't seem to notice her, having looked down to move around some data pads and pick up a mug of coffee, which had obviously gone cold judging by the thin ring that appeared when the liquid level moved around. She thought about saying something when mid sip his eyes rolled around in his head and landed on her. He didn't spit thankfully, but he did choke and arched his body forward so the coffee that ran down his chin didn't stain his uniform.

“Oh dear, um...” Michelle winced and lifted her hands helplessly as if trying to psychically help from the other side of the desk while he coughed the fluid out of his lungs, “I'm so sorry, Director. I didn't know you were still--”

She was silenced when he put up a finger in a 'one second' motion and turned away from her. She watched him reach into a drawer and pulled out a napkin, wiping his chin, nose and dabbing the corners of his eyes while tapping the hallow of his chest with his other hand.

Sweet baby Batarians, I almost killed the man...

Michelle grimaced and chewed her bottom lip as she waited for him to fully recover. Ah yes, this was indeed a wonderful second impression.

Finally, Tann cleared his throat and jerked his head sharply once as if to cast something out and regain himself. Once that was over he returned to facing her and brought up his hands, sliding his fingers into the sleeves of his coat.

“Miss Mayer.”

She smiled nervously and stammered out a greeting.

“H-Hello, Director.”
“It's good to see you still have a knack for making an entrance.”

Michelle felt her entire face burn hot with embarrassment as she closed her eyes and laughed pitifully. Of course he remembered her, and of course it was for that.

“Haaa yeah, well everyone's gotta have a signature I guess...”

She wasn't sure of it, but she could have sworn he was sizing her up. Apparently what he calculated was worthy of him continuing on with and he removed is hands from his jacket to type something into his omni-tool. Off to his right another screen popped up which, even from the back, Michelle recognized as her personnel file.

“Mhmm, yes. Let us hope your other talents leave as much of an impression, shall we?” He had probably meant this to sound casual or lighthearted but he obviously didn't have that down yet, so it just came out sounding like a jab. She was already seeing how people could possibly get upset with him. “First thing's first though: Welcome to Andromeda, Miss Mayer. Congratulations on making it. My sincerest condolences to your loss of Director Lan.”

Michelle nodded and averted her eyes momentarily with a lamenting expression.

“It won't be the same without her.”

“Indeed.” Tann nodded, humoring her with the same fake sympathy anyone would give to someone who lost someone they themselves had no connection to. She appreciated the sentiment, but understood the hollowness of it. It's not as if she honestly had much of a connection to Kamela either. They had only worked together for a short period of time when she transferred to her center specifically to apply for the Director position on the Nexus. Kamela was alright, not unpleasant to work with but in the end Michelle's real lamentation was more over the guilt of being upset Kamela wasn't alive to relieve her of having to take her position. “We cannot dwell over what we cannot help though.”

Michelle looked back up at Tann when he said this, the sudden movement and attention triggering something in him to cause his body to visibly tense up. He must have taken her reaction as a negative one, most likely due to having not run those words of wisdom through a mental 'pro human emotion' filter. To ease his stress, she nodded and softened her features.

“That is true. There's much more to be concerned with now.”

It did the trick allowing Tann to relax again and continue his orientation speech.

“I trust you have been brought at least somewhat up to date on what has happened since we arrived.”

“Somewhat...” Michelle murmured trying not to sound too bitter, “If there is an archive I could read through I would appreciate it.”

“I'm sure our Cultural Center has collected enough from various accounts to offer something of value. Or at least I hope...I will have them send you what they can. They should be able to get it to you in a timely fashion, given who you are. If not, I can give you some of my reports. As turbulent as it starts, I promise it gets...palatable further towards the present day.”

At the mention of 'who you are' something tightened in Michelle's chest that she hadn't felt since being fact checked. What was it? Pride? She had to admit, it was nice to be considered important. Kamela had seemed very pleased upon being appointed Director. It elevated you into some type of limelight. However, that hadn't seemed to be the case for Tann. Maybe at the beginning but obviously not now.

“I have to say, Miss Mayer,” Tann went on before Michelle could get anything out, “I was very pleasantly surprised reading over your file. I had no idea you were so we versed in your field.”

Yes, Michelle thought, I believe you had no idea the drunk chick who borderline assaulted you was good at her job.

“Seems odd they would station you as just an assistant caregiver.” He scrolled through her information without looking at her, stopping at certain points as he spoke.

The tightness started up again in her chest.

“Well, Ka- Director Lan was much more qualified than me.”

“In human care perhaps,” He stopped scrolling suddenly, reached out, used his finger to highlight a section of text and then closed the file, finally looking at her, “but we're dealing with much more than just humans, aren't we, Miss Mayer.”

He spoke as if he knew some secret about her and was about to reveal it. The more she thought about it though, the more it became apparent that he was trying to bait her; but into what? He didn't seem to be trying to be antagonistic, or snide. Was he trying to get her to speak ill of Kamela? No, that wasn't it...

“I suppose we are, given our situation, yes. As you said though, our team is very knowledgeable.”

“Not like you though.” He placed his hands behind his back and straightened his posture to give off a more authoritative aura, “Sure, the Turians know how to care for Turians, the Asari for the Asari and so on...but you, you have all bases covered. A sort of Swiss Army Caregiver, if you will.”

She tried to fight back a snort and lost, smiling and looking down. Her theory seemed to be coming to light. It was time to test it.

“Yes, yes. I am very capable. I cannot deny my degrees in alien pediatrics and communication is what got me here in the first place.”

This earned her a small smile, more for himself than for her probably but a smile nonetheless. Yes, there it was, he wasn't trying to get her to slander anyone; he was trying to get her to boast. To show some confidence, and therefore give him confidence. Proof to the woman he had been talking to that he hadn't just been talking out his ass. She wanted proof of capable care providers and damn it, he was going to give them to her. To his credit he did it in a clever way, one that didn't include blatantly stroking Michelle off or prying it out of her. He had learned at least partially how to talk to people, but it had in no way gotten any easier for him, and he showed that in his next sentence.

“Let's make sure to live up to that, shall we?”

So close. You were so, so close. A for effort though.

“As you heard coming up...” He looked with a squinted glare towards the mesh divider that kept anyone on the platform from accidentally falling off the edge to the floor below. No doubt in response to Aide having sent Michelle up without him requesting it. He was no doubt more than a bit upset at having been caught off guard in the middle of a verbal flogging. Wanting to calm the storm Aide would probably have coming her way Michelle came to the rescue.

“Yeah, sorry about that. Aide told me to have a seat in the waiting area but I was a bit eager.”

White lies were part of her job. Not so much 'lies' as the 'retelling of events', she did deal with children after all and more so their parents. Stubborn children became 'determined' ones and annoying toys she was tired of listening to make noise became 'broken'. Saavi had once said Michelle was so good at it that should she ever chose to use it for evil, she could have taken over a planet. Over-exaggeration of course, but that was Saavi's skill. It seemed to work.

“You're only human I guess.” He drew his gaze away from the divider and seemed to forget Aide even existed again, “I will say it's a nice change of pace to have someone eager to take up something they didn't sign up for. Everyone else has met it with absolute misery.”

“I'm sure you could relate to that. Being put in a position you didn't sign up for I mean.”

Tann gave a tight lipped look of bother.

“Were we in the company of others I would tell you that no, I was more than honored to take up the role of Director. Seeing as we are alone however...” He looked back down towards the mesh divider but dismissed any modesty just as fast, “it's been positively terrible. A lot of...baggage came with the loss of Jien Garson. I'm not too proud to admit that I offer nothing close to what the masses loved when it came to Jien, try as I might...” the last part came out strained and resentful but he centered himself enough to try and smother the little tumor of emotion her no doubt felt inside, “but I'm sure you will have a much easier time than me. Ms. Lan may have been good at her job but she didn't exactly have a following.”

“In all fairness I don't have one either.”

“True, but I'm sure if in fact what I have seen of your...personality reflects even half the enthusiasm you seem to have for your job, you will be fine.”

Michelle averted her eyes again, giving an embarrassed smile and shaking her head.

“I promise you, Director, I am an insufferable beacon of delight.”

Michelle was sure she saw the right corner of his mouth twitch upwards a little, but beyond that he remained straight faced and he stepped out from behind his desk, walking past her and down the ramp towards the second level. At first she was confused but then her brain decided to put two and two together and she turned on her heel, following him down.

“The Initiative has had a very prosperous two years. We have achieved settlement on the five planets we had hoped for as well as another named Aya and The Meridian.”
“Yes, I saw the vids when I woke up.”

They were pretty hard to miss.

“You undoubtedly noticed the new aliens wondering around as well then.” He stopped at the holo station by the windows and brought up a 3d diagram of a planet.

“Yes, the Angarans. They look like cat-squids.”

“I wouldn't say that in front of them. They are abnormally sensitive all while being brutally honest. It's a volatile mix.”

“So they act like cats too?” Michelle asked trying to inject some casualness into the conversation.

“I wouldn't know. I have never been around a cat.” Tann said completely disregarding the attempt.

The planet shrunk off to the left and made way for a series of graphs, something that caused Michelle to grunt internally. It looked complicated, but luckily Tann explained.

“Lead by Pathfinder Ryder, the Initiative helped claim their freedom from the Kett--”

“The Kett?”

Tann's head made an audible 'whoosh' sound as it turned and he locked a burning stare onto her. Michelle felt herself instantly begin to sweat and offered a soft eyed look of apology. Not trying to hide his discontent this time, he let out a loud sigh and slowly turned his head back to the holographs and continued. “Hostile aliens. I'll send you the reports...”

Great. Hostile aliens too now. I'm glad the best in their fields here on the Nexus saw that coming when they told us there was no alien life in Andromeda.

“According to the Angarans, their main home planet Havarl, seen here, has a very delicate balance they need to abide by. Before the vault was activated...” He eyed her to see if she at least understood that

“...You'll send me the report...” she whispered sheepishly, earning another sigh.

“Before the vault was activated the wild life of the planet was completely out of control and hostile but now there have been signs of vast improvement more. However, there is still, as I said, a balance; the balance being not too many inhabitants and not too few. Too many and the planet begins to die, too few and it becomes an overgrown mess. It has to be just right.”

“Wow, it's like Goldilocks and the Three Bears.” Michelle muttered humorously.

Tann said something under his breath along the lines of 'that's what it was!' then cleared his throat and continued.

“As it stands now we have a few stationed scientists there in exchange for an equal amount of Angaran refugees. Understandably though, other members of the Initiative want to get on solid ground. Years of floating in space isn't ideal for everyone.”
“Of course.”
“Right. We were hoping a more numerous exchange would be easy. The Angarans are curious enough, when not under direct threat of danger at least. The problem is they're very...” He was searching for something acceptable, rolling his hand as if trying to materialize the answer out of thin air.

“Family oriented?”

“Correct. Apparently they have very extended family lines. Even if there is an offer extended to two mates and a child, there is a long list of brothers and sisters and so on and so forth they just can't seem to part with. It's mindlessly excessive.”

Michelle rubbed the side of her face as she thought, moving to her temple to try and relieve some pressure. It had to be very hard for someone like Tann, who was spawned from an entire race of aliens that had no problem going their own way as soon as possible, to grasp the concept of such a deep attachment to so many people. That's why he needed her. He needed someone to understand where the Angarans were coming from; to show empathy that he did not possess. Someone warm, and in touch with their squishy, needless feelings.

She could do that, and half.

“We could move large amounts of people off the Nexus if we could convince the Angarans to move their families onto the Nexus.”

“But they don't trust us."

“No they absolutely do not. Their dealings with the Kett have left them very skeptical of all aliens. Even with all our help they resist nearly all cooperation.” His tone was that of a father talking about his ungrateful child, “There is a silver lining at least: they understand that residence here is not a free pass, they are expected to contribute and in many cases are very happy to. But of course this is a space station. We can't have a bunch of children just running around dangerous areas. Therefore--”

“They need to know their children would be safe in the hands of strangers for an extended period of time.” She tapped her bottom lip as she tried to line everything up, “Honestly from that call and everything you described...”

“I know it sounds impossible--”

“Not impossible. Just...” she crossed her arms over her chest and asked the million credit question, “When how soon do you need this done?” He had opened his mouth to speak when she stopped him, “Keeping in mind 'as soon as possible' is already implied, but I am working with a department still in the boot up process.”

Tann contemplated this and assumed his professional posture once again.

“You seem to already know my desired time frame. When you feel you are able to get started towards our goal I will set up a meeting between you and the Angaran diplomat for a meeting. I trust no matter how long it takes it will be a necessary amount of time. You are the best person for the job.”

He was lying. She could tell he was lying by how much he paused between his sentences. He wanted to give a direct order; to say for her to get it done in some unrealistic amount of time, such as two weeks or a month at the most. He had little faith in her human ability to move at more than what he considered a snails pace when doing anything in the first place unless given a severe time frame. This didn't bother Michelle in the slightest; it would have been unrealistic to expect him to think anything different. She did need to sleep longer than an hour each night after all. The thing that really bothered her was something that she had gathered in her own head over the course of their interaction and couldn't help but believe was true. The thought that he had exactly zero confidence that she would actually do what he asked her to in the first place; not without constant prodding at least. His time as a Director had left him faithless in everyone he met no matter the circumstance. She didn't want to believe that even after coming in kind, professional and considerate that he would lump her in already with the rest of the Nexus inhabitants. The way his eyes drooped and body, though standing tall, leaned slightly back to put all the weight on his heels; as if he were going to fall asleep on his feet, reflected a man going through the motions and expecting nothing but disappointment.

It was the first time during this entire conversation that Michelle actually felt the sting of insult. It was as if he was suffering from some type of social PTSD. Had it really been that bad? Has Jien really been that much of a God to the Initiative that no one gave him any less than grief? Even Sylas and Saavi had seemed disapproving of Tann and they hadn't even been awake long. Sure Sylas disapproved of any atypical Salarian and Saavi was...well Saavi, but still what could have happened in that short of time to render that type of response. He may have had some issues but anyone who knew even the most basic information about Salarians could forgive that. It was like an involuntary social cue now, to hate the man upstairs.

She tried to give him the benefit of the doubt and think that perhaps he was just tired. Maybe he had forgone his one hour needed to recharge so as to handle things, resulting in crankiness. Maybe that call had gone on longer than he had wanted in the first place and he needed a break from all the feelings. Maybe her behavior at the party had stuck with him more than she thought and he didn't actually take her as seriously as he had let on earlier. She hoped it wasn't that. Whatever the case, it was hard for her not to take it personal. She wanted to reassure him and guarantee that she had the ability to get the job done for him as soon as she possibly could despite her other duties, but what would that accomplish? No, she couldn't do that, it would just sound like empty words to him anyway.

She had to give him something though; after all, even if her pride wouldn't allow a complete prostration, her motherly instinct couldn't help but demand giving some type of comfort.

With a warm smile and straightened posture to match his, she made her offering.

“I won't let you down, Director.”

“I'm sure you won't, Miss Mayer.”

Nothing.

At this point he seemed to just want to end the conversation as much as Aide had wanted to end theirs earlier. It took all of Michelle's might not to slump under the weight of depression. Time to hang up her hat. Bowing her head in a solemn goodbye she turned to head back towards the entrance, listening to the tap of his own footsteps behind her. She was at the waiting area when she stopped in her tracks.

No.

No, this wasn't how it was going to go down. Every single second she had been awake on this damn floating space box of tomfoolery had been undeniably horrendous. Chalk it up to that insufferable beacon of delight she was or pesky little nugget of pride in her chest but she wasn't about to drag her sad ass back to her staff feeling this way. She hurried back up, stopped at the top of the ramp and called as casually as she could.

“Director.”

Tann stiffened and visibly hunched in a bothered groan before turning to look down at her from in front of his desk.

“Yes, Miss Mayer?” He acquiesced.

“Do you...prefer Tann or Jarun?”

He cocked back his head slightly.

“I beg your pardon?”

“Jarun. It's your clan name right? Jarun Tann? Salarians have their clan name before their given name so...I mean usually people in positions of authority go by their surname rather than their given name. Just calling you 'Director' seems to simple and 'Director Tann seems too familiar so...”

He didn't seem to know how to answer; that or he was reluctant to answer. Finally he bit the bullet and spoke again.

“It's a foreign concept to other races to place their given name after their clan, or in humans case, surname name. It's simply easier for people.”

“But, do you prefer it?”

Actually being asked for his opinion on something seemed to throw him for a loop. A good few seconds of silence hung in the air before, probably for lack of a comfortable answer, he copped out.

“I honestly do not care.”

Fair enough.

“Well then...thank you, Director.”

Tann shook his head in confusion.

“I'm sorry, did I miss something?”

Michelle took a breath and stepped closer towards him so she didn't have to speak too loud.
“At the party when I...drunkenly assaulted you. Sorry, by the way, really. But anyway, I had wanted to say thank you.”

He seemed intrigued by this and looked at her with an curious expression.

“For?”

“Approving our equipment. You were the finance director, everything passed in front of you. Your signature was on everything so thank you.”

Once again, Tann seemed at a loss for words.

“I just did my job. You only asked for what was needed. Some items seemed a bit extreme but you took the time to do the proper paperwork. And given what the Initiative has been through it feels like it was a good choice in the long run. You didn't ask for anything too extravagant, at least cosmetic wise. It wasn't hard to approve in the first place.”

“But you still did it,” she replied with genuine gratitude, “so thank you.”

Another moment of silence hung in the air. Tann's brows lowered, eyes half lidded and looking down briefly. A faint, thoughtful sound escaped his lips before he looked back up and nodded.

“You're welcome, Miss Mayer.”

Whether it was said just to please her or not was unclear but beyond that, the response was genuine. A smile spread across Michelle's face.

Mission accomplished.

She headed out again but stopped right before and said over her shoulder.

"Oh and if anyone asks you again, six of our immediate staff are mothers. Three of them with their children here on the Nexus in case any immediate proof of competence is needed." Tann just stared at her as she chirped a final farewell of, "Okay, bye!"

She continued down the ramp and wished Aide a good rest of her day as she passed the front desk. When the doors closed behind her, Michelle took a deep breath and let it out with complete satisfaction. It may have been a small thing but it was something. One small thing was a good place to start. In a moment of reflection she looked up at the office window high above to find a figure just barely recognizable in it. With slight hesitance she raised her hand and waved up at it. There wasn't a response. Of course not, for all she knew it could have been Tann facing the other way. Then something came up and moved side to side in a slow, unsure, waving motion.

Michelle's smile stretched into a wide grin, bringing with it a legitimate laugh that gained her a few looks. Making her way into the fray of the Operations area and down into the tram station she felt light as air.

It was the first time since she woke up that she had felt happy.