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Gerard let himself through the door, walking into the living room he had spent a good portion of the last 18 years of his life in and dropped his keys onto the table. He had returned from dropping Delilah and Johnny off at college; Elizabeth was sat with a mug of what was probably chamomile tea, watching the news. Gerard took a breath and sat down beside her. “Hey sweet, was Delilah okay? No last minute panics?” she gave him a peck on the cheek as she greeted him, a warm smile resting on her face, she had the compassionate eyes of a mother- always holding a slight worry behind them for her children. Always thinking of them. “No, no issues- usual confident Dee.” Gerard rested his eyes on his hands, toying with the ring on his finger. It wasn’t expensive, when they had got married they were dirt broke, and had a child on the way. While they did have more money now, it felt stupid to buy a more expensive ring to replace the ones they had. “what’s up Geo, you look like your mom just put a big ol’ burger in front of you and said you can’t have it.” Gerard let out a sad laugh, running his hand through his hair, greyer than it had been when they first wed, and looked at her- willing himself not to cry. “We need to talk, Liz.”
Elizabeth nodded at him, and put her mug on the coffee table “What about?” Gerard took a long breath in, and began to speak “I- I love you Elizabeth, you know that. But I don’t- I have never” Gerard paused to swallow. “Back when I was still in A&E I- I finished my shift and I didn’t want to come home to...cook, so I went to that diner downtown, you know the one I said I wanted to have our reception in” Gerard let out a sad laugh “and the server was so nice and so…different and I just-“ Gerard ran his hand through his hair again, forcing himself to at least look at his wife “I cheated on you.” Elizabeth looked at him with tears in her eyes, nodding before speaking- her voice cracking slightly “Alright…w.was it just once? Did I do something I-” Gerard shook his head at her “No. No you didn’t do anything, Eliza this is all on me, I swear it was just once, in all our 18 years but…I can’t keep this up anymore, I can’t.” Elizabeth looked panicked, confused- both of them were crying by this point, even if not manically so. “You can’t what?” Gerard looked at her “We don’t even have sex, Liz, and I know I said I was just stressed out, but that’s not it. I know you don’t want to hear it but- well I didn’t really have any problems that night.” Elizabeth sniffed, she had a tissue in her hand “Are you saying you aren’t attracted to me anymore? Is it the hair, because I only cut it short because it just felt easier to manage when the kids were little and then you said you liked short hair …” Gerard shook his head at her. “No, no. Elizabeth I- I cheated on you with…I have never found you attractive, not sexually- you are so beautiful and so lovely, and giving and compassionate but” Gerard chewed his lip- it was harder to say in reality, he had only uttered the words once before. “I wanted to wait until the kids were grown up, you know? I knew from that night that I couldn’t let myself be…incomplete forever. And you deserve someone who sees you as a sexual goddess, not just a friend they share a bed with. I- I think… Liv I want to get a divorce.” Elizabeth stood up and paced around the room. “You’ve never found me attractive?! We have two kids together! We have been together for 18 YEARS!” she continued to pace, Gerard watched her walk “I know. I thought I could make it work with you, if no one else.” Elizabeth looked at him, she was a painful combination of angry and hurt. “Make WHAT work?!” Gerard waved loosely around the room, standing up as he did so “THIS ELIZABETH. Marriage. This... happy fucking home life, the wife and the white picket fence! I don’t want this Liz, I'm- I want a MAN I want a fucking MAN I don’t want to sleep beside someone who has..” He gestured loosely to her “ANY of that! We have so much in common, Liz but one of those things is what we want in a partner. I cheated on you with a man. I'm gay.” Elizabeth looked at him like he was an idiot “You are not GAY Gerard! You are a 38-year-old married man with two kids! You’re a doctor! I know you” Gerard just shook his head at her “No you don’t. you want to know how I spent my evening with the stranger I met in a fucking diner?! In a bathroom stall with a dick in my ass. Why would I lie about that?! Why would I hurt you for the fun of it, Elizabeth?! I have gone 18 years. 18 fucking years trying to pretend and I can’t anymore. I deserve to at least try to find someone who I can actually feel truly complete with, and you deserve someone who doesn’t have to think about fucking john Travolta to get through sex!”
Elizabeth pointed to the door “Get out, Gerard. Go…sort out whatever the hell you think you are. I will be waiting here when you are ready to tell me the real reason you want to throw our life away” Gerard threw his hands in the air. “fine I’ll leave, but it won’t change the facts.” Elizabeth locked her eyes on his “I am not a fag hag, Gerard. Get out.” Gerard winced at her words, lifting his keys and letting himself out the door. He needed a drink anyway.