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Every SebaCiel Fanfic in One Chapter

Summary:

Little blue haired emo rich boy loves satan

Notes:

*war flashbacks to middle school and my shitty Kuroshitsuji OC*
I mean no offense to anyone who ships SebaCiel or writes fics for it! This was a request from a reader for a parody fic from cliche plot lines. Please enjoy!

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

Aigh’t so…

Ciel, being the little boy he is, starts going through puberty. His voice be cracking, body odor getting worse. Like, damn, that’s bad. Even the dear Sebby gotta plug his nose. Shit son.But this new pubescent Ciel started to have actual human feelings for a certain someone. Obviously not for his fiancee/cousin Lizzy. Because Ciel was sick.

What sickness did the Earl of Phantomhive have? He had a bad case of the:
“I‘m-gay-for-my-overage-demon-butler” disease. It’s real, look it up. So anyway, angsty little emo lord was in his bed and he thought about Sebastian. Then he got surprised cuz he got a boner. Then Sebastian came in (heh) and was all like: “My Lord, you kinda have an election.”

“It’s erection, idiot,” Ciel was a smarty pants.
“Oopsie, my bad,” Sebastian said. Then he offered to help, but Ciel was all like
“No ew ur old.”

So later on Lizzy came (heh) over and glomped Ciel.

“Ciel! I wuvv You!! Owo” she screm.

“Rawr” Ciel responded making the XD face. Lizzy and Sebastian gasped!

“That means ‘I Love You’ in dinosaur!!!” Lizzy screeched.

“Ya, I know,” Ciel said.

Then Sebastian was like “Uhm BINCH??!?!?! YOU MESSIN WIT MY MAN???”

Then Lizzy stabbed him with her sword that she pulled out of her vagina. Then Ciel was like: “Lizzy, my kokoro doesn’t go doki doki with you anymore.”

“Baka!!!!!” Lizzy yelled and then left. Then Sebastian sat up and was just kinda minorly inconvenienced by the stab.

“Bocchan?”

“Sebastian….”

“Yeet?”

“Rawr… or something” he blushed like Tamaki from Ouran High School Host Club, which hasn’t been invented yet, since it’s Victorian England.

“My Lord! Rawr ex dee” Sebastian said.

Then they fucked. Mey-rin watched and had a nosebleed. Finny lost all innocence he had left and Bardroy just threw up. Tanaka was sitting in the back, chillin, drinking tea and thinking ‘Ha! I called it like, two years ago.’

Notes:

Thanks for reading! If you have read a ton of fanfics with the same plot line, let me know in the comments and I just might write a parody fic for you!

Also, a side note, I edited it to have one (1) Bocchan because I'm a dunce and forgot that that's something that's in a lot of these fics as well.

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