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“Ugh, I can’t believe we’ve searched this many planets and still found no sign of him”, the Gladiator lamented as he sauntered in through the doors to their TARDIS, which was now disguised as a rather suspicious-looking tree trunk in an otherwise not very suspicious-looking forest.
“‘Him’ being your friend?” Leonis asked as he strode in after the Gladiator, claws clicking against the floor. “The one who never showed up at the rendezvous point?”
“Yep, that’s right”, the Gladiator answered. Looking past Leonis, he could see the General gesturing furiously with a hand to catch his attention.
“ How much did you tell him?!” he mouthed, aiming a reprimanding glare at the Gladiator, who rolled his eyes once Leonis looked away.
“ Not that much” , he mouthed back with a wink before practically bouncing away to catch up with his prince.
The General could not help smiling at the lovestruck antics of his friend as he closed the doors and made the TARDIS dematerialise. Once he had made sure that they were safely back in the vortex, he decided to give the lovebirds some time to themselves. Those wrestling matches of theirs could sometimes become a bit too intense to accommodate bystanders. So, where to now? The library, perhaps? He really could do with brushing up on his Venusian, he never had gotten the hang of-
A shuffling sound interrupted his thoughts and he tensed immediately, ears and eyes on red alert. When time passed and no other sounds were heard, he relaxed again, rolling his eyes at how easily spooked he could be. He nearly jumped from fright as the sound returned. A distinct scratching sound, like claws quickly moving across a too smooth floor, on the other side of the console. The General took a deep breath in preparation before he very literally threw himself onto the floor, aiming to slide gracefully beneath the console and apprehend the intruder. As it turned out, there was no intruder to be found in the immediate vicinity, and the force of the General’s swan dive sent him crashing headfirst into the wall. To be able to think that far ahead… His foe was truly an admirable opponent, the General decided while rubbing the soon-to-be bump on his head.
The scuttling sound returned, this time down a corridor leading away from the console room. With renewed vigour, the General broke into a sprint, following the accelerating scuttling sound as it made its way deeper into the TARDIS, always one turn ahead of him. The General was so focused on his hunt that he had no time to react as the Gladiator appeared behind a corner, and they each offered a suitably alarmed yell as they collided hard enough to knock them both off their feet. The General carefully disentangled their legs while the Gladiator whined and rubbed at his butt.
“Watch where you’re going”, he pouted, wincing as he distributed his weight differently on his sore behind.
The General ignored him in favour of bolting to the next corner and listening intently. He was met with a distinct loss of scratching sounds, and had to sullenly admit that he had lost track of the intruder. “Sorry”, he said before walking back to pull the Gladiator up off the floor. Then he froze. Something seemed… off… with his friend, but he just could not think of what if was. Was it something with his face?
The Gladiator did not seem to notice his concentrated staring. “That’s okay. Why were you even running that fast? Where’s the fire?” he joked, rubbing a sore elbow.
“There was a sound”, the General explained, before realising that he might need to be just a bit more specific. “In the console room. It sounded like claws, so I chased it here, but now I lost track of it”.
The Gladiator huffed a laugh and patted him on the shoulder. “It’s probably nothing, don’t worry about it”. He then started to saunter off, whistling tunelessly as he went, as usual. But the General could not shake the feeling that something was not right.
“Why aren’t you with Leonis?” he asked, mostly to buy himself time to think.
The Gladiator stopped in his tracks, turning his head to glance over his shoulder before looking ahead again. “Uh… I had to… go to the… you know…” There really was something off about him. Before the General could question him further, the Gladiator broke into a run. “Well, this has been a blast! Catch you later!” he shouted as he skidded around a corner and disappeared.
The General was left standing there, furrowing his brow at the quickly receding footsteps. That is, until he was forcefully shaken from his stupor from a realisation. What if that wasn’t really the Gladiator? With this horrifying thought in mind, he commenced the pursuit. He still wasn’t quite sure what was going on, but the more he thought about it, the more plausible it seemed that the Gladiator he had met was some sort of fake. An illusion, perhaps? But he had touched him… Then, a physical projection? Or a perception filter?
Doing his best to follow the faint sound of running ahead of him, he took corners at a speed that would put many a drag racer to shame. Finally, he could see the door to the console room ahead, and the fake Gladiator standing just beyond it. I’ve got him now , he thought triumphantly and quickened his already neck breaking speed. Then, out of nowhere, Leonis walked up to the fake Gladiator and put an arm over his shoulders. The General blinked. So wait… If Leonis was with him, then that Gladiator wasn’t fake? In an incredible feat, the General interrupted his headlong sprint and skidded to a halt just inside the console room door.
The Gladiator and Leonis both turned to look at him, and their eyes widened before snapping to the left and then back to the General. Leonis removed his arm from around the Gladiator and they both seemed to back up slightly, bending their knees and readying what looked like fighting stances.
“General”, the Gladiator said with a warning tone, his attention on the General, but his words obviously directed elsewhere.
Confused by their obvious hostility, the General followed their previous line of sight and was met by the sight of… himself?
The two Generals gawked at each other in stunned silence before one of them exclaimed, “Wait a second, you’re me! ”
It took the General - the real one, mind you - a couple seconds to realise that it was the other General who had spoken, and was now pointing an accusatory finger toward him. He blinked and furrowed his brow, too confused to express himself properly. What came out of his mouth was an affronted, “No, I’m me!”
Meanwhile, Leonis’s and the Gladiator’s eyes were flitting between the Generals staring each other down, both at a loss as to what should be done.
Finally, the Gladiator spoke. “Well, one of you has to be a fake, right?”
Both Generals immediately pointed toward the other. “ He’s the fake! ” they said in perfect unison, scowling even more at each other. “ No, you’re the fake! ” They glared at each other before turning to the Gladiator and Leonis and instead pointing to themselves. “I’m the real one! ”
The Gladiator was at a complete loss. He looked between the two versions of his friend, and then turned to Leonis. “Any ideas, Kitten?”
Leonis looked thoughtful before grinning. “As it happens, I do have the one”. He straightened his back and sauntered calmly over to the recently arrived General. He stopped right in front of him, very much inside his personal space, before leaning forward to press his muzzle against the General’s neck, breathing in deeply. The General jumped at the ticklishness of it, but Leonis just bore a thoughtful expression as he sauntered across the room to the other General. As he repeated the process of concentrated sniffing, he scowled and sniffed again before baring his fangs. “This one”, he rumbled, and the General whom he had been sniffing squeaked and scrambled backwards.
“Okay, okay, it’s me! I’m the fake, I’m a metamorph !” The last syllable turned into an even higher squeak as the self-proclaimed metamorph lost its footing and landed on the floor with a thump, continuing to put distance between itself and Leonis by crawling backwards. “I’m so sorry! I was being chased and got onto your ship by accident and I panicked! Please don't eat me!” The metamorph hit the wall with a loud thud and tried to crawl in another direction, but the Gladiator and the - real - General had moved in to surround him.
“Alright, time for the Questioning”, the General said solemnly and crouched down to shine a torch into the metamorph’s eyes, making it squint. “Name, preferred pronouns, favourite pastime?”
The metamorph squinted at him nervously. “Ponta, they, and sleeping”.
The General smiled, switching off and pocketing the torch. “Great! Welcome to the crew, Ponta!” He held out a hand expectantly, but Ponta simply stared at him.
“ What? ”
The General waved his hand a bit. “I think you seem nice, do you want to join in on the adventure of a lifetime?”
“Several lifetimes, in fact”, the Gladiator added with a wink at Ponta’s confused face.
“Besides, someone is chasing you, correct?” Leonis joined the conversation, and shrugged. “I ran away too, and so far I do not regret a thing”. His fangs peeked out from beneath his lips, but his eyes told Ponta that he was smiling this time.
Ponta thought back to the past few weeks which had led up to this point, before looking up at the three expectant faces above them, and decided that yes, this was definitely better than what they would be leaving behind. Ponta regarded the General’s outstretched hand for a few more seconds before smiling and grasping it in their own hand. “Yeah, I’ll join”.
~~
“So wait, you’re a prince!? And they kidnapped you!?” Ponta, who was once again morphed into a perfect copy of the General, squeaked with terror and hid his mouth behind his hands.
“ With consent! ” came the Gladiator’s voice from just outside the console room.
Leonis laughed. “I came willingly, so I do not consider myself kidnapped in any sense”. He watched as the Gladiator entered the room, holding onto a box with one hand and rummaging through it with the other, and Leonis smiled fondly. “Apart from having my heart utterly captured by this heavenly being, that is”.
The Gladiator smiled brightly and pressed a quick kiss to Leonis’s cheek before crouching down in front of him, having finally found what he had been searching for in the box. “Okay, so, in this era on this particular planet, people have no idea that aliens exist”, he explained from his position on the floor, while securing a small device onto Leonis’s belt. “So basically, anyone who doesn’t look human will probably be burnt at the stake or something. And since we don’t want that…” he trailed off as he punched a series of buttons on the device, “we have this! A mobile localised perception filter emitter, fully functional and very slightly illegal!” He laughed and checked that the device was properly fastened before grinning up at Leonis and patting his hip, letting his hand linger and his lips quirk into a smirk.
“Gladiator, behave”, the General laughed before turning to Ponta with his arms full of more or less period appropriate clothing. “You won’t need a filter, I presume? Being a metamorph and all”.
Before Ponta could answer, they were interrupted by the Gladiator. “Oh! Can you be Beyoncé? Or-” He gasped. “Do Michelangelo! I haven’t seen him in ages!” His face fell into one of reminiscing. “My dear Angelo…” Then he pursed his lips in thought. “I still don’t know where he put my pink-”
“Anyway”, the General interrupted a bit too loudly, “filter or no filter, Ponta?”
Ponta huffed out their chest. “None for me, thanks”. Then they turned to the Gladiator with an air of dignity. “And I can only morph into beings I’ve seen up close, so no Angel-o’s or whatever his name was”.
The Gladiator's shoulders sagged before he shot upright again. “I know! Let’s go see him! Then you could morph!” He winked at Ponta. “I bet he’d be really into that too”.
“Gladiator, please ”. The General could not hide his smile, however stern he tried to make his voice sound. “We have a mission, remember?”
The Gladiator sighed wistfully. “Yeah, I know…” He grinned back at Leonis and directed him toward a mirror, which was miraculously intact after an alarming amount of rather bumpy rides. “Ready?” he asked with a finger on the perception filter emitter, and Leonis nodded. “Okay then. One, two, three”. He switched the emitter on. There was a soft burst of static noise, followed by the sort of sound a scanning device makes. The noises stopped with a click, and the Gladiator found himself standing next to a stunningly beautiful young man, who was regarding his blonde and red hair with wide-eyed fascination. The Gladiator gently took hold of his chin and turned his head to look into those blue eyes, so new and yet so familiar, and raised an eyebrow. “Well, hello there”, he purred, and Leonis’s eyes twinkled with laughter.
“And a good day to you too”, he responded, letting the Gladiator catch a glimpse of two slightly too long canines behind his lips as they both placed a hand on the other’s hips.
Ponta regarded the display with an indifferent face while addressing the General. “Are they always like this?”
The General watched the Gladiator experimentally weave his fingers into Leonis’s hair and murmur something about 'realistic’ before pressing their faces - and presumably lips - together. The General allowed himself to smile at the sweet scene before he turned to make a face at Ponta. “Regrettably”, he joked, and with a giggling copy of himself following behind him the General started to make for the door. “Alright, lovebirds, wrap it up. We have a mission, remember?”
Leonis and the Gladiator detached from one another and stepped out of the TARDIS, stealing little kisses and giggling all the same.
And a couple of blocks deeper into the city, unbeknownst to them, an especially rickety and beat up-looking police box seemed to flicker rhythmically before disappearing into thin air with a horrible, groaning sound.