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It's not like he is afraid or anything. Yeah, there's no way he could be afraid of something so stupid. So he's not afraid at all. It's just too stupidly cold in his room because nights are always cold here (despite it being freaking hot in a daytime when the sun shines too bright).
And this time a cool air is even mixed with a humidity of a rain, which pours its waters with a terribly annoying noise. This noise is even worse than the Rukh chirping (it took years to get used to small birds never leaving him alone, not even when he needs to have some sleep).
So it's just a stupid rain that disturbs him, not the thunder’s rampage somewhere high in the sky, and of course it's not blinding flashes which for a bit of a moment destroy the darkness around him with a white light (brighter than Rukh, brighter than anything) just to disappear again (and to make the black of the night even deeper, even darker than the pitch black color of the Rukh of that old crone, who promises him to give this powerful color too, if he promises to be a good boy).
So he's not afraid at all. He's just confused and annoyed, and his eyes are starting to hurt, and he can't fall asleep. But at least he is not afraid. He's not a stupid small kid like that squad of dumbasses. He's not a coward after all. He is an all-mighty Magi, a wizard of Creation, so there's no way for him...
"Judal?"
"AAAAAHH!" the boy almost jumps as he hears someone's extremely loud shriek. But then he recognizes his own voice and it feels like being splashed with icy water - so shameful and cold (or maybe it's because he has left a warm blanket covered around his shoulders). It doesn't help much that a girl who stands beside his bed bursts out with laughter.
"Sorry, I had no mean to scare you!"
"I am NOT scared!" he protests as he hides his immediately grabbed wand back under the pillow. "Maybe it's you, who are you scared, huh? Then, I have a bad news for you, because my king vessel shouldn't be such a..."
Another thunderclap drowns his voice in its roar just as much as his almost resurrected confidence. Serendine laughs again when he hides all of his little self under the blanket, leaving only two red bright eyes staring at her. He has a bit of hope that it would look impressive and would creep her out, but it doesn't seem to work at all.
Instead, he feels her hand gently brushing a top of his head through a thick blanket, and even though it's warm and almost suffocating in his shelter, for some reason Judal shivers once again. He just hates being treated like this.
He's not some weak whiny to be patted by those who believe they are better than him just because they are so called adults. They are still weaker than him! He is still a Magi, he, he was chosen by Rukh, not they! So they have no right to treat him like a pathetic small brat! Once he grows up, he will show them all who is the greatest...
"There-there, don't look at me like that," Serendine's voice is supposed to be too quiet to be heard, but Judal hears her even over the softness of blanket, over the noise of rain, over the roars of thunder. Maybe it's the way her voice is calm that makes it a constant in a mess of chaotic sounds around them. "It's okay to be afraid of something."
"So, you are afraid of it, right?" the boy scoffs instead, trying to avoid admitting his own weakness. But the girl just shakes her head. Damn, and he's already prepared to tease her...
"But I used to, then I was a child," Serendine goes on, her hand still rests on his head, and he can't understand why he doesn't mind it. "Just like you..."
"I am not like you!"
"And my younger brother is probably still afraid of it too..." she ignores his loud protest as if she hasn't heard it at all. The girl who is supposed to be his king vessel, which means should be the strongest of them all, looks so melancholically fragile, sitting here, at the edge of his bed. In the dark of this stormy night Serendine looks so pathetic and weak, but Judal doesn't feel like bulling her because of it.
He can't even explain to himself why, but he looks out of a blanket a little bit more, allowing her to pat his head. And as he feels her soft gentle fingers going through his hair (not so annoying as it could be, so he'll bear it), he watches wet weakness melting away from her eyes, once again replaced with a fierce determination.
Good. He grins into the pillow, extremely proud of himself. Magi is the only one who can support his King. Even if it will be done in such a weird way.
"Sorry I got carried away with all those useless thoughts about my past," Serendine finally says, and smiles with a small giggle as she notices: "You just really remind me of my brother sometimes"
"Well, whoever your stupid brother is, I am not..."
"Judal," her smile is so soft and wide, but it also feels like one of a merciless killer. "Don't you dare insulting my family or I’ll punch you, and I don't care if you have a Borg or any powerful Magi thing, got it?"
"Yeah, yeah," he grumbles, huffing his cheeks. Of course, there's no way she'll get him, but her ambitions are something he really enjoys about her. It almost makes him believe, that Seren is not that bad to be his king vessel for rea... Judal shakes stupid thoughts out of his head, and mutters something he probably should say: "I'm kinda sorry..."
"Yeah? It doesn't really sound like a sincere regret," but Serendine laughs, so, he guesses, everything is quite fine.
"Just don't call me a child, okay?" Judal demands, grabbing his wand again and pointing it at her. "I am not some lame crybaby kid, I am a Magi, got this?"
Serendine gives him a strange look he can't understand, but he doesn't like the way his chest tightens because of it. It's a strange mixture of sadness and sorrow in the corner of her mouth, and it feels like she pities him, which is a complete nonsense! He shouldn't be pitied by her, he is so lucky; he is actually blessed by Rukh, not her! That's why she is just like all of...
"Of course you're not. You are my only ally, and thanks to you, I know how to use the power you gave to me," she says finally, her voice is even softer than before, but the steel beneath it feels even better either. "I just wondered if it's really bad of me, to use someone so young... But it doesn't matter, right? If you're Magi, then you are strong enough to be equal to me. So I need to trust you."
The new strike of thunder almost freezes Judal to his places. So he jumps out of his warm nest, grasping her head and proclaiming boastfully:
"Yeah, that's exactly what I was trying to teach you that took you reaally long!"
(Or at least he almost wants it to be truth, for some small moments of not even doubt, but some other stupid uneasy feeling he doesn't like to think about...)
Serendine gives him a smile and he almost likes how proud it makes him feel. She waits for Judal to help. She wants Judal to fight by her side, and this feeling is uncomfortably new to him. He can't even tell if he's happy or sad about it.
(Maybe THIS is what Magi should do, instead of randomly rising dungeons around the world?)
"It's getting too late, after all, so, I guess, I should leave, so you could have some sleep..."
"No, stay!» he grabs Serendine's wrist so tightly that his fingers almost hurt. His cheeks are burning when she stares at him in surprise. But it gets even worse when her eyes brighten and her lips widen in a quite evil grin.
"So, you ARE afraid of thunderstorms, aren't you?"
"I AM NOT", he shouts as she laughs at him while he wants to hit her with a pillow and regrets every moment he thought about liking Serendine. But instead, he just puffs his cheeks, crawling back under the warmness of blanket and mutters, barely audible. "I just can't sleep because it's too loud, so you should stay and talk me to sleep..."
"You think of me as of that boring, huh?" She raises her eyebrows skeptically, but (he knows that for sure) she can't say "no" to him. That's might be the only good side of being "a child" to Judal's mind; and he uses this privilege the best way possible, smiling evilly into the pillow. "And what should I tell you? I'm not really good at storytelling, you know."
"Nah, I don't want any stupid tales, they are always boring," he rolls a little bit under the blanket, trying to find the most comfortable position. "Just... Stay and that's enough, maybe..."
Another thunderbolt strikes somewhere in the dark sea, but it's fine. At least Seren has shivered a little bit too, because that one really came out of nowhere. And to think that...
"Hey, and how did you get rid of this fear?" he asks, and hurries up to add: "It's not for me, it's just in case I have to calm some coward later... I am a wisest and strongest wizard after all!"
"Oh yeah, you surely are", Serendine chuckles, but her hand is soft and gentle once she strokes his hair. And her glance becomes strangely distant, as if she can look at restless flow of the Rukh floating around them.
(He can see her hope and her anger; he can hear a steel-like voice of her determination in the noise of small wings)
"It's not just about storms, but..." she says, and her voice is calm as if she is telling one of those boring fairytales."Sometimes, to overcome something you're afraid of, you need to try to pretend, you're that thing yourself. That thing or maybe even that person..." the last line she adds as if more to herself than to him.
Judal blinks as he doesn't get it.
"And how the hell I... I mean that coward is going to pretend he is a storm?! I mean, it doesn't help at all!"
"It will help you to feel yourself stronger," she answers with no doubt in her voice. "Because if you're afraid of something, it means you think it's stronger than you. So you need to feel like you are strong too. So you need to put yourself in your fear's clothes and imagine all things you could do if you had all of its power."
If he was a thunderstorm, he could fly wherever he wanted, without any annoying geezers telling him what to do... Well, that sounds cool...
"Imagine thunder being just a laugh of a powerful person, who is so close to reaching and grasping so long awaited goal"
Serendine's voice is soft and it feels like he rests on calm gentle waves, even though rain only get's stronger behind the window.
"Imagine its bolts being arrows to destroy all of your enemies, all of those, who had ever hurt you..."
It's not like anyone ever dares to hurt him, but... Judal likes that idea too much, as he'd like to be powerful and to be able to defeat someone. To destroy someone.
"Imagine thunderstorm fighting by sea's side, making its waters become big and almighty waves, so it could destroy all enemies on earth and in the sky. Imagine this storm being brave and loyal comrade, because without someone to help, storm has no meaning to rage."
He wants to rage every moment of his short life; he wants never-ending wars to avoid boredom of staying inside of the palace, locked between walls of a study room as if in a cage. His mind is so dull and sleepy at this moment, and he can't help it, but leans closer to the warm hand, his eyelids are too heavy already to see something in a not so scary anymore darkness.
But before falling asleep, he still hears her voice, and its echo keeps on following him for numerous years in chaotic and senseless dreams.
"You're going to be a storm with me, right, Judal?”
(And he wishes he could be a thunderstorm who follows his own will for real, but he is just a small fake disaster, caged from the very beginning, but it takes years of chaotic yet severely controlled destruction for him to realize this bitter truth of his nature.)
(But maybe there’s still a chance for him to be a storm for someone’s sake and by someone’s side.)
(Maybe he will blow winds and rampage like a thunder to make this world bow to their anger.)
(He’ll just have to wait for this person to become a raging sea to his restless storm.)