Chapter Text
Water, water, water.
Whenever he opens his eyes it's there, peacefully stroking along the length of his bare calf, tickling along the sparse hair scattered along the pale skin there, the coldness stinging and prickling in his muscles. He imagined what it would be like if it was always this peaceful, just calmly floating by, not minding anyone's business but its own, not a care in the world except for just running, running, not stopping.
The first time he blinks it creeps further up, consuming the entire stretch of his lower body, slowly seeping into the dip of his belly button, stroking over the soft baby fat gathered at his hips, almost whispering at him, calm little reassuring words as it consumes him, swallows him whole.
The second time he blinks it passes his nipples, darkness swallowing up his abdomen slowly but surely, his arms stretched above his head as he reaches for something, anything, to pull himself out with, the cold water caressing under his arms as it sings to him, the soft words of a lullaby his mother used to sing to him when he couldn't sleep at night, the darkness morphing into her face, her dark hair identical to his own, the tickling surface turning into the soft touch of her fingertips, cupping his jaw softly.
The third time he blinks, he's drowning. There's water forcing its way through his nostrils and mouth, slithering its way into his chest and sloshing around in his lungs, his desperate attempts at getting out lost to the thick, dark nothing, his body trashing as he tries to escape, a weight that he couldn't feel holding him down. He tries to look, desperately searching for the thing that keeps him from living, dark eyes scanning the water feverishly as he kicks his legs, the constricting hold around him only tightening.
He rarely ever makes it to the fourth blink before he wakes up, the feeling of his lungs burning from overexertion usually enough to jolt him awake, but this particular night it doesn't. This time he feels the moment where his lungs give out to the burning pain, the organs failing with a soft flutter before it feels like he's frozen, his body swaying lifeless around in the nothing. Something calls for him, touching along the dip of his collarbones, briefly running up the length of his neck before settling at the space behind his ear, the soothing touch contrasting the rough jerks of his body as he pulls, pulls at whatever he can to live.
"Tommy."
If he could scream, his lungs would shatter. His head tilted back as there was light, a dim, yellow circle above him that grew, his eyes squeezing shut as it overpowers him, illuminates his blue lips and the purple bags under his hazel eyes. His leg twitches weakly as he tries to swim, the last huff of breath leaving his body as his fingers barely graze the surface, the light growing brighter with each passing minute. He's dying.
"Tommy!"
The touch turns rough all of a sudden, pressure building behind his ears as his head lolls back and forth, neck strained with the effort. Water sloshes around him, eyes threatening to roll back into his skull as a final goodbye.
"Tommy!"
The light dims as he's awoken, deep moss green and pinched, dark eyebrows the only thing he can see as hot breath fans over his sweat covered face, his chest ballooning with every inhale. Two calloused thumbs press up behind his ears and forces his face up, chin tilted back as he gasps for air, his hands wrapped in the thin fabric of a cotton sleep shirt. Dark hair falls over a wrinkled forehead and tickles at his nose, thumbs moving slowly down his neck to place his head safely back onto the soft pillow, plaid pattern mingling with the dark locks of his hair. He's staring at the ceiling as a weight moves from his hips, leaving him alone on the single bed as the entire room is suddenly illuminated, a candle burning on the bedside table next to him.
"Thought you were fuckin' dyin', mate," he turns his head to watch as Alex lights himself a cigarette and forces the old, creaking window open, fresh air floating through the room as he hoists himself up onto the window sill. Tommy moves his hand up, over the dip of his chest still covered in a smudged, white wife beater, sliding his fingers across the flesh of his throat to feel his pulse beat radically under the slick skin. He makes a poor attempt at sitting up, his ill stomach growling angrily at him as he flops back down onto the soft mattress, a soft huff leaving him.
"No, you stay the fuck down, I'll get you a towel," with the cigarette tucked safely between puffy, red lips, Alex makes his way past the bed and down the hall, the sound of him rummaging through the cabinets making Tommy smile slightly.
"They're in the drawer to your left," his voice is hoarse and shaky, his throat all dry as he tries to swallow a couple of times to get rid of the feeling, coughing slightly for good measure. Alex emerges with a cold, damp towel thrown across his, now bare, shoulder and a half full glass of water in his hand. The messy hair atop his head suggests Tommy woke him up with his ruckus, and a temporary feeling of guilt travels through him as the older man joins him on the bed, placing the cold towel across his forehead and threading his fingers into the dark hair at the nape of Tommy's neck to lift his head slightly, pouring the cold liquid into his mouth with surprising care.
"I have nightmares too, you know," their eyes meet for a split second as Tommy gulps down the last of his water, Alex's hand at his neck slowly retreating to place the cup on the nightstand to their right, reaching across Tommy in the process. The tuft of hair in his armpit splits dead centre, making room for a long, jagged scar that stretches from his ribs all the way to the back of his shoulder and Tommy forces himself to look away, resting his hand next to the thick expanse of the other man's thigh.
"I don't think they're as bad as yours, though."
Tommy can't help but to notice how Alex's face completely scrunches up when he smiles, deep dimples on each side of his plump lips giving him a juvenile look as he winks at Tommy, eyes crinkling.
"I'd hope not," Tommy answers curtly, eyes fluttering closed as he pulls the covers over himself again, his body writhing around on the mattress to turn over on his side, his back facing Alex. There was the distinct sound of rustling before he heard a soft puff of air that threw the room back into darkness again. He fell asleep to the sound of Alex's heavy breathing.