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It’s when Louise is trying on the outfit in a row, and trying to push her tits up higher, that Jack decides to look up from his phone where he’s sprawled on Louise’s hotel bed – they’d all been put up by YouTube for tonight’s event. Louise is pretty sure she can see the big Ben from the window; it’s all very exciting.
“Wait, are you looking to get fucked or something?” Jack asks.
“Jack!” Louise shouts, throwing a cardigan at Jack’s face, hoping in his temporary blindness he won’t see how red she’s gone, “I’m pregnant!”
Jack grabs his chest, and dramatically throws himself on the bed, feigning shock.
“Oh shut up,” Louise says, turning away as she applies another swipe of bronzer then immediately regretting it, tutting at her reflection in the mirror.
“Look, you’re not married – isn’t that the whole thing about amicably splitting up with your long term male partner and best friend, in order for you to shag girls or something?”
‘That’s not –,” That totally isn’t actually the reason 100 per cent, but Jack knows this, and she refuses to be pulled into that conversation again. They both drifted from one another, but when Louise found out she was pregnant, they were still eager to raise it. They were young when they met, and they’d changed, but it wasn’t like Matt hadn’t known she was into girls.
Just then her phone buzzed, and sadly it was next to jack, who quickly grabbed for the Phone, laughing to himself, Louise would have thrown herself on him if it weren’t for the whole 2 months pregnant thing.
“Oooo, Zoe, who’s Zoe?”
“Just a girl. A friend.”
“Okay… a friend. A girl…” he says, still sniggering.
It’s only on the cab, that Louise rather loudly announces, “she’s probably not even gay anyway!”
Jack’s eyes go wide, and the driver clears his throat. Jack opens his mouth to say something, probably: ‘yeah neither are you and you still like pussy’, which you know, gross on so many levels. But clearly thinks better of it, and says instead, “you look nice in that dress.”
It’s the first time her and Zoe are meeting in person, there had been plenty of mutual online stalking, and late night Skype chats till Zoe feel asleep, her chin tucked into her chest, and Louise watching her chest rise and fall for a bit too long. Zoe had even called her, a best friend, to the point she was worried she was very firmly in the friend zone. Zoe had never mentioned liking girls, but neither had Louise, only in a sort of halfhearted way about Grace Helbig being hot or something. Louise wasn’t ashamed, but she wasn’t used to that part of her, being in a relationship with a man for so long and automatically being assumed straight – she stopped trying to convince people years ago that her crush on Emma Watson wasn’t a ‘girl crush’, it had never felt worth it. She was meant to marry Matt after all.
When Louise gets to event she abandons Jack to camp out by the canapés, stuffing one after another into her mouth to sooth her nerves. Someone, she thinks his name is Marcus, starts awkward but polite conversation with her, and she really does try her best to listen and not look at the door the whole time. Then, she spots her, “Zoe!” She shouts out, before she can think better of it - the girl turns, and her face lights up in a magical sort of way before she charges towards Louise and flings her arms around her – her soft hair enveloping most of Louise’s neck – she smells of coconut, and Louise feels her heart do the flip floppy thing.
Zoe quickly steps away, and looks pointedly at Louise’s stomach, “oh gosh, sorry, the baby, silly me!”
“Oh I won’t pop, don’t worry!” She says, grinning. That’s when Zoe laughs, open-mouthed, throwing her head back – Louise has seen it on a blurry screen before but in real life it’s something else - she can’t help but laugh too, Marcus looks between them confused before sidling off.
They end up wedged together on a sofa, apparently the only seating available at this event. Louise’s feet were aching, but this perhaps some worse kind of torture, Zoe pressed completely against her side, joking about how cosy they are. Louise is trying to ignore the fact she can see Jack pointedly raising his eyebrow at her in the far corner.
“Gosh, I was so nervous about tonight,” Zoe, continues, she really hasn’t stopped since they sat down – but Louise doesn’t mind. “Sorry, I’m babbling. I mean you know, I get anxiety anyway, so to come to this was such a huge – but I had to, cause you know the event, the opportunity but also cause I needed to meet you,” She says this with a slow sort of sincerity, looking meaningfully at Louise.
‘”Phew me too, Jack watched me change outfit about ten times, he kept winding me up.”
For a fraction of a second, Louise could swear Zoe looks crestfallen but thinks she must be imagining it.
“Oh, is he your boyfriend then?” Zoe asks curtly.
“Oh, uh no, I’m totally single,” She rushes out, sitting upright, perhaps too eager.
“Oh yeah, met too, “ Zoe says trying for nonchalant, but she diverts her eyes away when she speaks next, “I mean I was seeing this girl, but it was nothing serious. I like someone else, much more.”
Louise falls silent, before her brain catches up with her, reminding her painstakingly uncomfortable this often feels, Zoe waiting for her reaction.
“Oh yeah? I like someone too,” then hastily adds, “a girl, they’re a girl,” smooth, Louise, real smooth, she thinks.
They conversation moves on but their bodies have somehow moved closer still, and Louise can feel herself blush every time Zoe looks at her for longer than a second. Eventually it is Zoe who interrupts Louise in the middle of a mindless story, she herself can’t really focus on: “do you want get out of here? It’s getting a bit much for me.’
Louise practically jumps out of the seat, not even caring about the way Jack’s eyes follow them as they leave the room together. Louise smiles into that first kiss, thinking how she’ll taunt Zoe for months to come about the time she feigned anxiety to get Louise alone.