Chapter Text
“Come on!” Scorpius begged as he pulled on Albus’ arm. “If we hurry, we might finish before they wake up.”
“Just because the sun is up, does not mean that I should be as well. It’s way too early for this.” Albus retorted, keeping his eyes closed, hoping his brother would go back to bed.
Scorpius scoffed harshly. “It’s noon not five in the morning!” Honestly, he didn’t even know how they were related, let alone twins. Albus was so different than him.
“It’s just that they both worked late last night and it’s only the first day of summer holidays. I wanted to make breakfast for them!” Scorpius continued, hoping to plead to the softer side of his brother. The one that Albus tried to pretend didn’t exist.
Albus sighed heavily, throwing his blanket off him in a huff. “I swear it’s a miracle you were placed in Slytherin. I think Hufflepuff was robbed of you.”
“It’s not nice to generalize,” argued Scorpius. “You have Gryffindor tendencies, but you don’t hear me saying anything.” He barely withheld a smirk at the outraged expression on his brother’s face.
“Hold your tongue.” Albus barked, not bothering to change out of his Slytherin pyjamas. “Besides, only other Hufflepuffs care about the generalization of Hufflepuffs.”
“I’ve got to be adopted,” Scorpius mumbled, leaving their bedroom and going down the stairs. “It’s the only explanation.”
“Are you speaking about me?”
Scorpius looked up to smile at Teddy, who was at the bottom of the stairs with a wicked smirk on his face.
“I’m the only adopted one here.”
“That remains to be determined,” Scorpius countered dramatically. “Albus and I just can’t be real twins.”
Teddy shook his head fondly as he ruffled the already messy mop of blonde hair. “I was there when you were born. Granted I was only four at the time, but I distinctly remember there being two babies.”
“Maybe my real twin got switched at birth,” Albus yelled from the bedroom, causing both Teddy and Scorpius to roll their eyes. “I should start a search party.”
“Be quiet,” Scorpius whisper yelled. “I don’t want to wake them up!”
“What are you up to?” Teddy asked, suspicion heavy in his tone. “I don’t want to have to clean up after either of you nor will I lie on the stand if a murder is committed.”
“What kind of brother are you?” Albus asked in disbelief, coming down the stairs, black hair neatly in place. “I would lie to the Wizengamot for you. It’s called brotherly love.”
“No," Teddy said firmly. “It’s called self-preservation. I refuse to be an accomplice to any of your schemes. The last time I covered for you, I was somehow evading the Canadian Minister at the yearly Survival Remembrance ball.”
“In my defense—” Albus began, lie already on the tip of his tongue.
“—We aren’t doing anything bad,” Scorpius interrupted quickly. Not allowing his brother to blame him in what was no doubt a lie to cover his horrible plan to convince the Canadian Minister that the next Dark Lord was actually Mister Longbottom in disguise. That hadn’t ended well for anyone.
“I just want to make breakfast for father and dad.”
Teddy backed away with a haste that surprised Scorpius. “No way. Remember the Father’s Day debacle of 2012? I want no part in this.” He turned around and quickly fled.
“I don’t know what his issue is.” Albus scratched the side of his head. “It was only a small fire.” There was an indignant pause. “And it only happened once.”
“Twice!” Teddy called from somewhere in the house. “Don’t forget when you tried to make tea for father when he was sick.”
“I thought we all decided that that didn’t happen,” Albus argued, folding his arms across his chest. It was an accident. Cooking just didn’t work with him. Somehow disasters happened every time he even bothered.
“It was water, Al,” Scorpius whispered with a shake of his head as he made his way towards the kitchen. “You were boiling water.” His silence heavily suggested that it shouldn’t have happened.
“I resent your silent accusations.”
“If they were silent, then you didn’t hear them.” Scorpius pointed out, pulling out the requirements for pancakes. Pancakes, that was simple, right?
“Twin magic. I heard them all,” Albus said as he sat on top of the table and watching his brother combine everything needed.
“You do realize that’s just a lie we tell people, don’t you? Twin magic has never been established as legitimate.” Scorpius worried about his brother sometimes.
“I knew it!” Teddy’s faraway voice could be heard, and it had Albus snorting.
“Are you going to help me or not?” Scorpius asked Albus as he turned on the burners.
“Oh god,” Teddy whispered from his hiding spot behind the couch, he really hoped that they wouldn’t burn the house down.
Movement had Draco clinging to Harry and letting out a pitiful moan. “No. I don’t want to get up yet.”
Harry chuckled as he looked down at Draco, who was sprawled across his chest. “You don’t have to. I was just going to make breakfast.” He checked the time. “Or rather lunch.”
“Eh,” Draco mumbled dismissing Harry entirely. “They are old enough to make their own breakfast.”
“I think you have forgotten who our children are. I don’t trust them to make chocolate milk.”
Draco snorted, agreeing with his husband’s statement entirely. “Teddy knows how to cook.”
“Alright.” Harry conceded readily. “But the twins are picky and he doesn’t have the patience to make multiple things.”
“You are too nice.” It was said as if that was a horrible thing to be. “You appease them too much. Just make one thing and if they don’t like it, they don’t have to eat it. They can starve.”
“This is why I am their favourite,” Harry teased just to watch Draco pout.
“Lies, blasphemy and hearsay.” Draco rested his chin on Harry’s chest and smiled into green eyes. “You are only their favourite when I am punishing them.”
Before Harry could point out that Draco never punishes them, a skilful hand began wandering over his body.
“I can think of a better breakfast we can have before we have to be responsible parents.” Draco tried to be coy but his smirk negated that.
Responsible wasn’t exactly a descriptor Harry would use when thinking of Draco, but he was too distracted by a warm tongue making its way near his neck before an equally warm mouth began sucking a mark into his skin.
Before either of them could really begin anything, a pounding of their door had them both sighing in defeat.
“Hey!” Teddy rapped harshly, hoping they were decent. “Guys, we have to buy a new house.”
Harry looked at Draco before he cleared his throat. “Why would we do that? What’s wrong?” He almost didn’t want to know. He knew without a doubt that it somehow involved Albus and Scorpius.
“Scorpius wanted to make breakfast for you both, but he got Albus to help.”
There was a dreaded pause before they both jumped out of bed, barely putting on robes in the process as they ran for the door.
They had just made it to the top of the stairs before an explosion had them all reaching for the bannister to steady them.
“When I asked for siblings, I thought it was implied that they would be normal,” Teddy said in annoyance.
“Well, that was clearly too much to ask for,” Draco said, and he wondered why his sons were like this. It had to be karma. Not his but definitely Harry’s karma.
“I’m going in,” Harry declared suddenly, mentally preparing himself for whatever he was going to find.
“There’s that Gryffindor bravery coming in handy,” Teddy whispered before high fiving Draco when his dad smirked at him.
Harry had made it to the bottom before he realized that his husband hadn’t followed him. When he turned around to look expectantly at him, he wasn’t even surprised to see the incredulous expression on the Draco's face.
“Draco.”
It was just horribly unfair that Harry was able to demand, beg and plead in the same tone. “Oh, alright. But I want this to be remembered for later. I am defying all common sense by doing this.”
Harry rolled his eyes, wondering if he had four children instead of three. “You want it to be remembered that you behaved as any rational parent should? Definitely Order of Merlin: First Class material.”
“I don’t like the censure in your tone.”
Teddy grinned as he watched his parents banter back and forth. They had always been like this and he was just happy that they never stopped. Marriage wasn’t as forever as a lot of people hope it to be. Most of his friends’ parents were divorced.
Draco poked Harry in the back when Harry stopped at the closed door hesitantly. His husband was not going to back out. Not now that he had been forced to go along as well.
When Harry opened the door, he groaned loudly at the sight of what used to be their pristine kitchen. Some kind of lumpy liquid was everywhere, eggs were cracked and stuck to the ceiling, a horrible smell permeated the room, flour covered both of their younger sons, the table was broken in two and the fridge door appeared to be hanging on by sheer will.
“What the bloody hell happened here?” Draco asked in disbelief. “Is this a breakfast warzone? What the hell did our kitchen ever do to you?” He looked at the fridge and groaned. “The fridge was a casualty. Friendly fire.” That was one of his favourite muggle appliances.
Despite the situation, Teddy and Harry snickered at Draco’s reaction.
“In my defense—” Albus began, trying to find a plausible excuse that wouldn’t get him grounded.
“—I’m sorry,” Scorpius whispered sadly, interrupting whatever lie Albus would've said. “I just wanted to make something for you guys since you worked late last night.”
Harry’s anger dissipated at the positively miserable green eyes peering up at him. “If you both clean this up, we won’t have to move.”
Teddy covered his mouth with his hand as his shoulders shook.
The mess of the room was still horrible to Draco. “The next time you decide you want to cook for us, wait until you have your own home and please make sure I am not there.”
Draco grinned when he was on the receiving end of Albus’ piercing glare that so resembled his own. The shade of grey was similar but distinguishable. He wrapped his arm around Teddy’s shoulders and pulled on Harry’s arm.
“If you both hurry up, you can come with us for breakfast. We are eating out.” Harry called over his shoulder.
“Hey Teddy,” Scorpius called out with a pleading tone.
“No way!” Teddy argued, flopping down on the couch next to his parents. “I’m not helping! I wasn’t the mastermind behind this disaster.”
“Remember on Halloween night, at Hogwarts, when we saw you—” Albus was cut off by the sound of Teddy sprinting up and running towards the door.
“I’ll help you. Because I am a nice brother and I just adore you both so much.”
Draco arched his brows as their eldest disappeared. “I wonder if I can dupe the twins into telling me what they have over Teddy.”
That had Harry snorting. “They won’t fall for it.”
“Yeah, but I can guilt Scorpius into telling me. He’s the kindest one out of all of our kids.”
“He gets that from me.” Harry pointed out, laying his head on Draco’s shoulder.
Draco ran his fingers through Harry’s messy hair. “Yes, he does.” Not even bothering to deny it. “But I refuse to take credit for any of Albus.” He felt a smile on his skin and nuzzled the top of Harry's head.
“I think we did pretty good with them.” Harry whispered, lifting his head up and kissing Draco softly.
The sound of Teddy and Scorpius laughing at something Albus said had Draco smiling softly.
“Damn right we did.”