Work Text:
“Ugh, I hate rain.”
“Tell me about it. Eighth and first, please. Goddammit, my socks are wet. Don’t scrunch your face at me. Your socks have to be drenched too.”
“What was that all about? On the phone just now.”
“Oh. That. Just Sehun. You know.”
“No, I don’t know.”
“Ugh Baek. Don’t look at me like that.”
“Well, you’re kind of asking for it. I thought you were going steady with Kris. Why are you still talking to Sehun?”
“…”
“Tao, look at me.”
“I—I don’t know. I felt bad for him?”
“You felt bad?? What kind of a shit reason is that??”
“Don’t raise your voice, Baek. The taxi driver might recognize you as an UN ambassador.”
“They’re bound by an NDA. And speak for yourself.”
“Really, now.”
“Don’t change the subject, Tao. I thought you liked Kris.”
“I do! I just…”
“You just what.”
“Okay. Kris is a nice guy. I really do like him. But… I don’t know. Sehun’s also really fucking hot.”
“…I can’t fucking believe you.”
“Baekhyun~”
“Don’t you fucking whine at me like a prepubescent girl. That shit ain’t gonna work on me. You need to stop talking to Sehun or I swear to God I will tell Kris.”
“You’ll terminate my happiness?? Never mind. Don’t answer that.”
“Look, I don’t know what kind of reasoning led you to believe what you’re doing is okay, but you need to stop before Kris finds out and dumps your sorry ass. And I will be there for it. To laugh at you pointedly. With my pretty finger. Pointing in your face.”
“…”
“Stop. Your puppy eyes make you look like a demented panda.”
“Now that’s just mean.”
“I’m serious, Tao. Listen to me. I know Sehun may be irresistible—“
“He is irresistible.”
“Whatever. Regardless, Kris is good for you. Sehun… to be honest, I don’t see you guys going very far. If you just want a fling, then sure, go for Sehun by all means. But if you want something long-term like you’ve been grumbling for the past, I don’t know, year, then you need to cut the strings with Sehun and stick to Kris.”
“…I guess you’re right.”
“What was that? I can’t hear you. Must be the rain beating down on the windows—“
“I said, you’re right. God damn you, Baek. Why are you always right. But in exchange can you please wipe that disgusting smirk off your face? It’s making my hair stand on end.”
“That will require twenty bucks.”
“Twenty?! That’s robbery.”
“Hahaha.”
“Anyway. I never understand why you vouch for Kris like the Swedish neutrality.”
“Really? You’re using that analogy when we just got off work?”
“That was the last document I read.”
“Tch. Well, I’ve known Kris since college, as I’ve told you.”
“Hey, I do remember! You both went to Stanford. My memory isn’t that bad.”
“How would I know Kris hasn’t fucked your brains out.”
“…did you really have to say that in front of the taxi driver?”
“Again, I stand by the belief of NDA as sanctioned by the New York City Taxi Association.”
“You’re just making that up.”
“Anyway, so, yeah, I’ve known Kris for a long time. We were also in the same frat. If you want—“
“No. Hell no. I don’t wanna know how many people he slept with in college.”
“—I was gonna say if you wanna know how pristine he was.”
“There’s no such thing as pristine in a frat. Or college.”
“Not everyone is as sexually liberal as you were okay.”
“I prefer the word experimental, thanks.”
“Alright, fine. Pristine is a bit of a stretch.”
“Just a bit.”
“But if I recall correctly, he only had one boyfriend. Or maybe two. But definitely no more than two.”
“For four years?!”
“Yes, Tao. That is achievable, contrary to popular belief.”
“But… how?? He’s such a great catch!”
“Well, if he was capable of choosing you, I’d say anything is possible.”
“…I’m gonna try to not take that as an insult.”
“Good luck with that.”
“You’re a dick.”
“Tell me something I don’t know.”
“…”
“Wait, did you make a reservation?”
“Uhhh…”
“You didn’t. Dude, it’s the fucking momofuku!”
“Just. Calm down, alright? I’ll call Sehun and—“
“How the fuck is Sehun gonna help with this? What, he’s gonna seduce the hostess? Bribe her with his abs?”
“Well come to think of it he probably could—“
“Get to the fucking point Tao.”
“Sehun said he has a friend that works there. He can probably get us seats.”
“Alright. Fine. Call him. You have approximately… five minutes if the god of traffic lights is gracious.”
“Hey, Sehun?”
“Yeah… Hi. Haha…“
“No well… haha.”
“Sorry but my friend is glaring at me and I have an urgent favor to ask.”
“We’re on our way to momofuku but we, I mean, I forgot to make reservations. I remember you said you have a friend that works there… yeah, him. Do you think you can ask him to get us seats?”
“Please? Otherwise my friend is gonna have me for dinner instead of ramen.”
“Haha ugh please he wishes.”
“Just two.”
“Hey are you open to sitting by the bar?”
“Yeah, that’s fine.”
“Yeah the bar is fine. Okay, great! Thanks so much babe.”
“Next week? Um…. I’m not sure. I’ll let you know. Yeah, talk to you soon. Bye!”
“He said it should be fine and he’ll get back to me—“
“Babe? Are you fucking serious? After what I just told you?”
“What the hell are you talking about?”
“You called him babe.”
“Did I really? That must’ve slipped out—“
“Yeah, it better have.”
“God, you’re so spiteful. Anyway, Sehun said he’ll call me back in a—oh this is him.”
“Hey!”
“Oh my God really?? That’s wonderful! Thank you so much, b-Sehun.”
“Jongin? Okay, I’ll make sure to express my gratitude in person.”
“Oh he is? Haha maybe I can introduce him to a friend since I—uh, I gotta go, we’re almost there.”
“Yeah. Sure. I’ll text you.”
“Mhmm. Bye!”
“What?”
“You know, you really need to watch your tongue. Especially in front of Kris.”
“What did I do again?”
“You—never mind. You’re lucky Sehun saved the day or I will literally kick your ass into the puddle once we get off.”
“Technically, this Jongin guy did. Sehun said he’s cute.”
“Why are you wiggling your eyebrows.”
“Well I thought—oh we’re here. Uhm I don’t have cash.”
“…of course you don’t you leech. Here you go, keep the change.”