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Visiting Alexandria in that cold December evening after having been away for a few months felt extraordinarily strange. Last time Daryl had been there, they’d still been rebuilding the city. The gates had been busted, parts of the walls had been torn down, some buildings had suffered severe damage—the usual perks of a former war-zone—and now it looked like none of all that had happened. New gates, stronger walls, neat houses, and well-groomed gardens.
Alexandria hadn’t been the only place where they’d fought, though. Helping rebuild Hilltop after the saviors had set the settlement on fire had been what had held Daryl back from meeting his friends and family often, there simply hadn’t been a lot of time to sit down and catch up.
Now, all communities had finished up the reconstructions just in time before the cold season had reached the area and the temperatures had dropped. That seemed to be a good enough reason for Rick and Michonne to invite all of them to a family dinner. Many of them had been scattered all over the communities now, either to lend them a hand, or because they had simply decided to start a new life somewhere else, so it would be the first time in forever that all of them would spend the night under one roof again.
In Daryl’s case, supporting Maggie had been his initial motivation to go to Hilltop and help them out, but someone else had been the reason for him to eventually decide to settle there for good. Along with him, also Aaron and Tara had left Alexandria to move to Hilltop after the war for similar reasons, and they’d decided to stay there because they’d been looking for a way to leave the past behind, and being there for Maggie had sounded compelling and sensible enough to go through with it.
After the pickup truck had crossed the gates and Jesus had parked the vehicle beside the wall, all the passengers from Hilltop left the car to be welcomed by their family with warm embraces. Daryl noticed that those from Kingdom were also already there when he was pulled into a firm hug by Carol.
“Missed you, pookie,” she said and squeezed him.
He couldn’t even give an answer because he was already being handed down to the next person. Comforting hugs hadn’t been a part of his life before he’d found this group, for which he’d felt stronger family bonds with than most of his own blood. Now, it seemed like they were a part of him, the hugs, the people, and the cozy feeling that spread around his chest after reuniting with his loved ones.
That wasn’t the only new thing Daryl had had to learn to get used to, though. While everyone was laughing and chatting and walking across the street together towards Rick’s house, Paul appeared at his side, close enough for their arms to brush lightly. When he turned his head to look at him, he was met with a warm smile, a smile that always managed to melt his heart at the spot and make him want to do things he’d rather refrain from at the moment. At least until they were alone.
Daryl hadn’t paid attention to where he was going while Paul’s presence had distracted him efficiently, so he bumped into Rick who’d been standing in the middle of the road, apparently waiting for him. He laughed and put his arm around Daryl’s shoulders to press him against his side, obviously happy to see his brother again.
“Glad to see you,” Rick said when they reached the porch of the house where they paused while everyone else disappeared inside the building. “Are we good?”
“Of course,” Daryl answered, confusion written on his face.
“Well, you went away, and never returned,” he said with a shrug. “Had to hear that from someone else…”
Daryl remembered the differences they’d had during the war, and how quickly things had been smoothed over after it, and he could feel a little pang of guilt that he hadn’t visited Alexandria and Rick even once after he’d left them.
“Sorry, things have been busy over there.”
He knew that it was a lame excuse, but he wasn’t sure what else to say.
“I guess so, and the way I hear it, you’ve been extraordinarily busy,” Rick said with a huge smile spreading across his face. He then leaned to the side to look at Paul who was standing awkwardly beside Daryl, not sure if he should have gone inside with the rest.
A look at him told Daryl though that he strongly regretted his choice to have stayed with them, and he could see the little blush tainting his cheeks, which, he was sure, had to be a deeper red in his case, because he felt like his face would burn up any minute.
“Yeah, uh, kinda…” was all he could manage to say, but it seemed to be enough for Rick, because he laughed and patted his shoulder before he walked up the stairs and through the door, leaving both of them behind.
“Well, that was awkward,” Paul said with a chuckle. “But at least I guess we can cross that off the list.”
Daryl took a deep breath to settle the embarrassment that stirred up inside him. He didn’t know how he would have preferred Rick to know about him and Paul, but he actually was glad that that part was over now. Rick had been the biggest of his concerns, because he’d been anxious to see how he’d react to him being interested in a man. All the others already had known, either when they had visited Hilltop shortly, or when he’d gone to the Kingdom to borrow some supplies, so Rick had been the last one of his family where he hadn’t exactly known what to expect.
“Hey, you okay?” Paul asked, extending his arm to lay his hand softly on the small of his back.
“’Course, just wasn’t sure… you know…”
Paul smiled again. “I know,” he said with a low voice and stepped closer to place a lingering kiss on his cheek, too close to his lips, tormenting his heart in a bittersweet way and sending a tingling sensation down his guts. “Come on, let’s join the others.”
Inside, the first person to greet them was little Judith who was dragging a wooden duck with wheels behind her with a string that was attached to the toy, completely ignoring all the adults that had filled up the large living room. But when she looked up and saw Daryl, she let go of the string and her eyes went wide with surprise. Daryl was even more surprised that she remembered him.
Judith put her hands together and looked around to her father because she seemed unsure of what to do for a moment, after she got the reassuring nod of him she was waiting for, she walked forward and extended her arms when she reached his legs. He couldn’t deny her any second, so he lifted her up and submitted to her little hug around his neck.
“Girl, you’ve grown and gotten so heavy!”
A little giggle tickled the side of his neck and he couldn’t stop the smirk that was forming on his lips.
“She didn’t welcome me like that, the little rat, even though I’m sure I looked after her more than you!” Tara exclaimed when she walked over to them with multiple steaming mugs. “Hot rum punch, you want some? Don’t ask me what’s in there, Carol made this, but it’s absolutely delicious!”
“Thanks,” Paul said and took two of the mugs she was juggling. “Have you thought about the run yet?”
“Uhm, I dunno, why are you so eager to go on this run, anyway? Just relax and enjoy the evening for once. Don’t be such a deadhead.”
“It could start snowing soon, and it wouldn’t be bad to go and check out that place Eduardo and Crystal saw on their way back last week before that happens.”
“We have our provisions, we’re good for the winter, we don’t need to go on that run now. It’s a risk that I’m not sure is worth taking, Jesus. And now relax and enjoy the fucking evening. Drink up, up, up,” she ordered and waved her hand in front of his mug, and then walked away to join Rosita on the couch with carefree laughter.
Paul sighed and took a sip from the hot drink.
“She’s right though, why are you so obsessed with it?”
“Yeah, she is partly right, the provisions we gathered should be enough for the winter, which is ironical, because the reason for that is that we lost so many people during the war. And I won’t forget that we also lost a good bunch last winter because of people getting sick. We have pregnant women now, babies, our medical supplies aren’t that well stocked like everyone wants to believe.”
“It’ll be okay.”
“They said they saw a hospital in a secluded area. There is a chance it hasn’t been looted yet, at least it’s a better place to look than any I could think of. We only have some pain meds and antibiotics left from the war, and we weren’t ready for the flu or pneumonia last year, and I can assure you that we won’t be ready for it this year either. Gracie already had two episodes of bronchitis last month, and Harlan says that it could be pneumonia next time. Just think of that. Think of Gracie, or Judith, Daryl, if they get sick, we won’t have much to treat them with, and some bottles of penicillin and aspirin won’t be enough in that case.”
Daryl let the little girl down on the floor again, so she could pick up the string of her duck and walk around in the living room, dragging it behind her, causing everyone she passed by to smile broadly.
“Do you know how high child mortality was before modern health care?” Paul asked him when Daryl didn’t respond and handed him his mug.
“Did Harlan give you the list already?” Daryl asked and gulped down half of his beverage in a few sips. Letting it burn down his throat slightly, warming him up instantly.
“Yeah, I have it with me.”
“You fuckin’ are eager, aren’t you?”
“Well, you never know what might happen,” Paul said with a half-smirk.
Daryl wished he could just reach out and pull him closer, but he cleared his throat instead and walked over to the couch to sit down in front of Rosita’s legs, leaning back with an exaggerated jiggle. She slapped his shoulder and laughed, before she started to massage one of his shoulders.
“Man, you’re all tensed up,” she remarked.
“He’s been working on the construction site all day since weeks, you should have listened to the girls pining after this hot piece of sweaty mess,” Tara giggled, drinking from her mug.
Daryl ignored her teasing—which he was sure would get worse with the amount of alcohol she’d drink—and looked up, but he couldn’t see Paul anymore.
“He’s over there with Maggie, you miss him already?” Rosita asked with a slightly taunting tone and tousled his hair playfully.
Daryl ignored her too and drank up his beverage before setting the mug aside, leaning his head back and closing his eyes.
Of course he missed him. They hadn’t seen each other the whole day, and since Enid and Tara had called dibs on the front seats beside him, he had been sitting on the other end of the car in the back seat, beside Maggie with Gracie in her arms during the trip there.
“Ladies, would you mind if we joined you?”
Daryl didn’t have to open his eyes to recognize Michonne’s voice and Carol’s little chuckle. He just smiled when he felt another hand squeezing his shoulder while Rosita was now playing with his hair absentmindedly.
“Wow, that looks cozy!” Jerry shouted out loud beside him and made him jump and turn around to look.
He sat down beside him excitedly, Gracie in his arms, grabbing at his beard with a huge delightful grin.
“I want a massage, too! Please!” he demanded and sighed after a second when Michonne started to knead his shoulders.
“Here, man, take her, I need to enjoy this without this beard-monster,” he then said and pushed Gracie in Daryl’s arms.
The girl wasn’t amused by this rude behavior and started crying.
“You upset her, you jerk,” Daryl grunted and tried to calm her with rocking her to and fro.
“Uh-oh, Judy doesn’t seem happy,” Carol said with an amused tone.
And she really didn’t. She walked up to Daryl and gave him accusing looks as if to ask him how he dared to hold another child apart from her.
“What?” Daryl asked her.
She didn’t answer, she just climbed on his lap and leaned back, not intending to move an inch anymore.
“What the f—“
“Language!” Michonne chimed in and hit his head softly. “We already have to watch Carl’s mouth around her.”
“Awh, look at Paul, melting over there,” Tara said.
Hearing that, Daryl immediately looked up and found his eyes being locked on him, a tender smile playing at the corners of his mouth, Maggie already had given up talking to him, she was talking to Rick now who seemed extremely at ease and smiling more than Daryl was used to.
“Why doesn’t he come over?” Michonne asked and started to wave at him.
Paul snapped out of his staring and looked at Maggie, who didn’t seem to care about him anymore, leaning into Rick while they chatted. He lowered his gaze a little and walked over to them, if you didn’t know him, you’d nearly assume he’d be shy, but Daryl knew better than that. It was just the unfamiliar family gathering that he still hadn’t become accustomed to.
As soon as he reached them, Daryl lifted up the baby and said, “Take her, or this lil’ ass kicker here will die because of jealousy.”
Paul did as he was asked and sat down beside him, leaning back into Tara’s legs and sliding a little closer towards Daryl to make sure their shoulders were touching. He managed to soothe Gracie, the girl even fell asleep on his chest as if it were the most comfortable place on earth.
Daryl nudged his shoulder a little so he would turn and look at him, his eyes immediately softening when he met his.
“I’ll go with you.”
“I thought you had stuff to do at Hilltop?” Paul asked, surprised. “Didn’t you say you promised Billy to help him build his shed before it starts snowing?”
“This run is more important than that shed, right?”
“If you ask me, of course it is.”
“Then I’ll go with you.”
Paul smiled and leaned in slightly, but then he stopped abruptly when he remembered that they weren’t alone. Daryl returned his smile and leaned his head towards him, pressing their foreheads together instead of the kiss Paul had wanted to initiate. Before any of them could say another word, King Ezekiel walked into the room and proclaimed that the buffet was opened.