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Chapter Text

“Jeon Jeongguk I swear to everything that is holy if you’re not out of that bed for us to leave in ten minutes, I will drag you out myself and you will regret it!”

Maybe any other morning Jeongguk would have heeded Seokjin's warning and scrambled out of bed, racing down the hallway to grab a snack and rush out the door in his sweatpants (before being guided back to his room to put on some real pants). Maybe any other morning he would have sheepishly smiled at his hyung and apologize, head bowing before getting that little smile of fondness from Yoongi and a ruffle of his hair from Hoseok.

Yet this morning it seemed all he could do was stare at the wall, the thought of moving from his bed flowing nerves all throughout him.

It’d been tense lately. Everyone was set on their comeback, stressing over everything from interviews to choreography to making sure that their managers were actually happy with the results (because Jeongguk knew that Namjoon had been chewed out a few too many times for their lack of seriousness during rehearsals at times).

It was one of those days where Jeongguk might have convinced Seokjin he wasn’t feeling well. His eldest hyung was easy to persuade, maybe because of his soft spot for the maknae and maybe because he could see the exhaustion reflected in Jeongguk’s eyes. He was young still, focusing on school and being an idol all at the same time.

The weight on his chest seemed to press harder when he knew it was not one of those days that he could convince Seokjin. He would have to suck it up. Yet his mind was screaming at him to stay home.

You haven’t been doing well in practice anyways. Chances are they’d be better off without you there anyways. Stay at home. Go ahead, think about all of your mistakes-

“Jeongguk!”

With a groan, he flipped the covers off of himself, sarcastically replying in a yell of his own. “Coming, eomma.”

“Yah! What have I told you about calling me that, you brat?!”

___________

There hadn’t been time for breakfast. A granola bar was tossed his way before being ushered into the van, a flustered Namjoon behind him making sure each of his members were in before clambering in himself. Jeongguk didn’t even get a chance to eat it as he sat between Jimin and Taehyung, their usual playful banter dragging him (even if just for a few minutes) from the thought of the weight on his chest.

The van pulled up to their training center and they all piled out. Jeongguk realized his bag had been left in the bag and swiftly pulled it out, about to call for his hyungs to wait up when a staff member slammed the door shut.

Right onto his fingers that were still grasping the frame of the door.

A sharp inhale that was in between a gasp and a wheeze alerted the staff member that oh shit I fucked up. Ignoring the sting of tears in his eyes, he cradled his hand to his chest and could feel the pulsing throb of his fingers as he clenched his jaw.

“Oh, god! I’m so sorry. Are you okay?” It wasn’t very concerned- at least, not for Jeongguk’s sake. More like for the employee’s sake so that he didn’t get fired for hurting an idol.

With a nod, the member seemed to let a rush of air out, not even bothering to let Jeongguk breathe or take a moment to let his hand stop hurting. “Okay. Sorry, man, we need to get you to your vocal lesson. You’re gonna be late!”

And so he was rushed to his lesson, hand still clutched to his chest.

___________________

“Agh! Joonie, you need to watch where your feet are going.”

“Taehyung-ah, focus!”

“Jeongguk-ah, what was that? Remember, sharp steps. No slouching.”

Each of Hoseok’s criticisms (echoed by their choreographer-nim as he rounded the room, watching carefully and critically to ensure each step and arm movement and even facial expression was absolutely perfect) stung a little harder to Jeongguk, even if they weren’t directed straight at him. He glared at his own feet, panting heavily.

The weight on his chest was still there, pressing down harder and harder as time passed.

Jeongguk could handle criticism on a good day.

Today wasn’t a good day.

“Jeongguk-”

“I know, hyung,” he snapped, not bothering to look at the surprised faces of his group staring back. He didn’t see the set of Namjoon’s jaw nor the hand placed against his chest from Seokjin, as though holding him back from scolding Jeongguk with a small shake of his head.

It was quiet for a few moments.

Their choreographer cleared his throat. “A break then, yes?”

__________________

He hadn’t stopped dancing in what felt like hours. Even while the rest of the group sat down and ate, Hoseok tugged him up and made him dance the routine again. Every flaw was pointed out. Every misstep fixed with a sharp word.

Hoseok was probably punishing him for his attitude earlier.

He worked harder to make the routine flawless.

When he stopped, panting heavily and in the ending pose, Hoseok’s eyes scanned over him. “It’ll do for now. We’ll work on it later. For now, get something to eat. We have five minutes before we begin again.”

His face fell as the normally happy man walked back into the break room, the echoes of laughter ringing in the hallway before the click of the door muffled them once again.

Sliding down against the wall and letting his head rest on the wall, he told himself to just make it through the rest of the day. If he could do that, then he could go home and eat. He could shower. He could cry. He could sleep. Maybe not in that order, but it was close enough.

“Gukkie-ah, you alright?”

Looking up to see Namjoon staring down at him, he let a small smile spread over his features, unable to offer much more than that.

“I am, yeah. Hoseok worked me a little harder. I guess he got back at me from earlier.”

A hand reached down to help him up and went to take it before seeing his own swollen fingers. It was a surprise that it hadn’t been noticed yet. Seokjin and Jimin were usually so observant, always noticing when he would sway even slightly on his feet or when he looked sick.

Ignoring Namjoon’s hand, he stood up on his own with a grunt.

He didn’t see the hurt look on Joonie’s face, masked over within a minute with a neutral, almost playful expression once again. “Mm. Yes, well, that’s why you don’t give your hyungs attitude, brat.” He ruffled Jeongguk’s hair before resting a hand in between his shoulder and guided him back into the dance studio.

Only a few more hours. He could make it.

___________________

The final straw came after practice.

Dabbing at his face with a towel, he listened as the men around his chatted. It was dampened, not as hyped as it would have been any other practice, but Taehyung’s usual chatter was picked up over the thrum of everyone else’s voice.

“Gukkieeeee!”

A body wrapped around him and he stiffened, hating the feeling of the contact. It made him feel overwhelmed. The sweat was already all over him and add another sweaty body? He could feel his chest tighten.

“Tae- let go. Please.”

A whine by his ear and a tightening of arms around his torso let him know that the older boy had no intentions of letting go. “Aw, come on. I just want a hug!”

Jeongguk swallowed thickly, trying to breathe normally past the weight that had settled. Yet he couldn’t breathe.

Don’t start. Not now. You can make it. Just a car ride home. Just slip out of his grasp-

“I want to go home Tae, please-”

The arms moved to his waist, wrapping around tightly as Taehyung bent back to pull Jeongguk up and off the ground. He yelped and flailed, pretty sure that he foot connected with Taehyung's leg out of panic.

“Dammit, Tae, I said let go! Can’t you just listen to me for once? That’s all I asked!”

He was dropped to the ground the second he stopped yelling, Taehyung springing back in surprise at the sharp tone the maknae had used. Catching himself with his bad hand, he hissed, cradling it back to his chest. His back was turned to each of his hyungs, not even considering that they had still been in the room and could have easily heard what went down.

“Jeon Jeongguk.”

Right, well, they were still there. And by Yoongi’s tone, not very pleased by what happened.

Voice quiet, almost reluctant, Jeongguk spoke. “Y-yes, hyung?”

“Look at me when you speak to me.”

Slowly turning to stare at five hyungs, all with varying degrees of disappointment and surprise covering their expressions, he could feel his heart sink. Great. Look, you fucked up, Jeongguk. Look at them, they all know it. You’re just a nuisance. You’re immature. An immature child. They’re going to kick you out. Drama. Trouble making. You-

“Jeongguk! Are you even listening?”

Realizing that Namjoon had been speaking the whole time, his eyes snapped to him. “What- ah, I- no, hyung, I’m sorry.”

There was disappointment written clearly over his expression. It could have been hours that Jeongguk stood there, being stared down by six hyungs. He felt so small, his shoulders hunched and his head bowed just slightly. Finally, there was a shake of his head and, running a hand through his sweaty hair, Namjoon finally looked away. “We’ll speak back at the dorm. Get your things together, Jeongguk.”

With a compliant nod, he scrambled to his bag (the only one that hadn’t been packed since he’d been) and stuffed his remaining items into the pocket.

Footsteps and quiet voices faded away, leaving him alone in the room full of mirrors.

A glance confirmed they’d left. Usually they waited until each member was ready or they went in groups.

Jungkook must have been the exception.

They were pretty upset. It was a tense day after all. The managers had noticed a slight decline in their performance as of late, even despite all of their efforts to work hard. It was just one of those weeks. He knew Namjoon was bearing all of it on his shoulders. Jin was helping him amongst his duties at their dorm, knowing how hard the man worked to make sure everyone was happy and healthy. Hoseok and Yoongi had their own responsibilities, working late into the night often. Jimin and Taehyung had taken to assisting wherever they could in between the extra practice sessions.

And what had Jungkook done?

Made his hyungs angry. Their patience had been wearing thin with him all day. Yet he made everything more difficult than they should have been.

When he finally reached the van a good five minutes later, he clambered into the backseat next to Jimin and received the silent treatment. At least, no one spoke to him the moment he entered, so he figured they were upset. He supposed he deserved this treatment, but the stinging of tears in his eyes betrayed his true feelings. Bowing his head and slipping in his earbuds, the music would be his distraction.

Chapter Text

Trying to slip by Jin into the room that Jeongguk and Namjoon shared was impossible. The man had taken a stance outside the door, almost knowingly, and gave Jeongguk that stare that made him walk away like a puppy with his tail between his legs. Slinking back into the living area with Jin following behind him put him face to face with three not-so-happy hyungs.

Gesturing for Jeongguk to sit down on the couch, Namjoon stood up from where he and Yoongi had been sitting and the older followed suit. They were still wearing their work out clothes, similar to Jin and Jeongguk who had yet to change as well. The maknae perched on the edge of the couch, glancing at Jin as he settled in the doorway of the room with his arms crossed.

“Would you like to explain your outburst earlier, Jeongguk?” Glance moving to Namjoon who was standing directly in front of him, staring down at him with that cocked eyebrow, Jeongguk froze.

He would like to explain, yes. He would like to explain that he hadn’t meant to shove Taehyung. It was because he had reacted before he could think about what he was doing. He wanted to tell them that he felt absolutely awful by that point, knowing that he had messed up since no one had spoken a word to him up until then. Taehyung had not deserved to be yelled at. It wasn’t his fault. Jeongguk deserved to be scolded like he was. Yet he wanted to apologize to Taehyung. He wanted to make things right again and curl up next to Jin or have Yoongi stroke his hair or Jimin hold his hand- he wanted the soothing touch to battle the rising anxiety in the pit of his stomach.

Jeongguk didn’t trust his voice. He shook his head.

“A verbal answer, Jeongguk. Show your hyungs some respect. Or do you think you’re above that now?” The sharp cut of Yoongi’s voice made him flinch.

“No, hyung,” he corrected himself, letting his gaze drop to his feet.

“So you decided to snap at Tae and act like a child because you wanted to?” Namjoon asked, exasperation layered in his response. “We don’t have time for silly games right now, Jeongguk. Not with the comeback soon. I understand everything can get overwhelming but we’re dealing with this too.”

He knew that. It was a mistake and he was more than sorry. As prideful as he could be, he would beg for Taehyung’s forgiveness if it meant they wouldn’t be disappointed any long. He wouldn’t make this mistake again. He didn’t want to make his hyungs upset.

But he had and there was nothing he could do about it.

“Yes, hyung.”

Not another word was spoken as Namjoon and Yoongi rose in unison and exited the room. His eldest hyung watched as they left from where he had stepped to the side, waiting until they were down the hall and the heavy click of a door shut. Jin sighed, wringing his hands in front of him as though he didn’t want to scold the maknae. He could be scary when scolding (any of the members could attest to that) but the look in his eyes conveyed some sort of empathy for the younger man. “Apologize to Taehyung once you’re all cleaned up. And please… stay out of the way for tonight until you can restrain yourself, Jeongguk-ah. It’s been a heavy day for all of us. Try not to make it worse.”

“Yes, hyung. I’m sorry.” With a quick bow of his head Jeongguk passed by the eldest man, pausing only briefly when Jin’s fingers brushed over his head. Then the fingers disappeared and Jin stepped back. His heart drowned and he retreated to the recently vacated bathroom.
___________________________________

Crying in the shower lightened the uneasy feeling that had settled like lead in his gut since the morning. Well, it barely lightened the feeling, but enough that he didn’t feel like he was being smothered and could make an escape to his (thankfully empty) room.

The thoughts still invaded his privacy. His music was set as high as he could handle and even that in itself wasn’t good enough. A nap might have helped. Though he was sure if he tried, it would only lead him back into those thoughts with nothing to distract himself.

The opening of the door cast a light into the otherwise dark room. Jeongguk sat up on his bunk, closing out of the Twitter app and pulled an earbud away to hear what would be said.

“Dinner.” Yoongi’s voice barely drifted into the room before he slammed the door shut once again, leaving Jeongguk in darkness.

So they were still angry. Why wouldn’t they be? Brat. Good for nothing. They hate you. Soon you’ll be kicked out and back home. No need for dead weight around here. Useless-

“Gah, stop it!” he moaned, placing his head in his hands. “Stop it. No more. Stop thinking like that.”

It hurt to know that he’d messed up. It hurt to know that his hyungs were upset.

Jeongguk couldn’t think of anything that would hurt more than knowing his hyungs hated him.

Another minute slipped by and he roughly tugged the blanket over his legs off, letting it fall to the floor.

Padding out into the dining area, the first thing that Jeongguk noticed was that conversation among the members ceased the moment as he walked into the room. It might as well have been like a stranger walked into the room. The only recognition he received was a partial smile from Jin and a nod from Jimin before both of them resumed eating, heads bowed like the rest of the members.

The second thing he noticed that their bowls weren’t full. In fact, they were near empty.

His appetite vanished.

If they didn’t want to eat with him, they could have just said so.

The mantra he’d repeated all day wormed itself back into the forefront of his mind; only a little while longer, then you can escape. Grin and bear it, Jeon.

He stiffly sat down between Jin and Hoseok and took a portion of the dinner for himself. It was small, smaller than any portion he normally would have taken. His bruised hand stayed out of sight, settled on his leg and partially under the table. The hardest task was forcing himself to eat, slowly, until each of his hyungs had finished their own servings and left them in the kitchen. One by one they disappeared and the sound of chatter returned in the living area.

Jeongguk couldn’t bear to stuff another bite in his mouth once the last member had left the table. He knew Jin would be upset for food gone to waste but he could hardly look at it without a certain quesiness passing through him.

He rose from his spot and escaped into the kitchen, scraping the contents of the bowl into the trash. Placing the ceramic bowl atop the others with a dull thud, he began his trip back down the hallway.

“Jeongguk?”

Hopefulness flared in his chest, nearly tripping over his own feet as he turned back from the hallway. Was Namjoon going to invite him into the group’s activities? Was he going to insist he join them for whatever movie they were watching? Would he be greeted with forgiving smiles and be able to apologize to Taehyung?

Immediately reappearing, the hope burned out and left only a cold emptiness as his leader barely spared him a glance. “It’s your turn to do the dishes tonight.”

“I did them two nights ago,” he protested weakly. He despised dishes and had made it clear (many times) to his hyungs who only rolled their eyes and ignored his complaints. Sometimes Jimin would take pity on him and come in to dry the finished dishes and wipe the counters off so that (when he were in high school) he could hop away to finish homework. Now it was to beat Tae’s ass at Overwatch.

Namjoon, however, had no pity. He finally turned his head, his strict expression displaying that he knew full well it wasn’t his turn that night. “It’s Taehyung’s turn tonight. After your display this afternoon, it’s fair that you take on his duty for him. Don’t you agree?”

Eyes flickering around the room that had once again gone silent, Jeongguk couldn’t understand why he was getting this reaction. He didn’t understand why his hyungs had chosen to cast him out, for lack of better terms.

Yoongi’s temper could rise quickly when things weren’t going as planned and Jeongguk had been at the receiving end of sharp-tongued scoldings many times when he was a little too loud. If Jeongguk was a little too goofy during dance practice, Namjoon was quick to snap at him to get it together. Jin got frustrated when he wouldn’t listen. Taehyung treated him like an annoying younger brother when he was in a bad mood. Even warm hearted Jimin and happy-go-lucky Hoseok could let their anger go at times.

Yet his small outburst seemed to have drawn the line. He could understand a lecture. He could understand being frustrated with him, especially since everyone was already so stressed. How was this any different to the situations his hyungs faced? How was it different to them yelling at him? He didn’t know. He just knew that he wanted to beg on his knees that they listen to him, that they take him back and let him sit squished in between Jimin and Taehyung where he could feel safe and comfortable again. He wanted the feeling that was drowning him to leave.

He said nothing.

Turning on his heel, Jeongguk returned to the kitchen.

________________________________

The sink’s water burned. It scalded Jeongguk’s hands above the rubber gloves. The skin was turning an angry red, yet his focus was on muffling the sobs that wanted to escape him.

The tears had started minutes ago despite his attempts to stop them. His face was wet and his nose was stuffy, sniffling pathetically as his body shook with the threat of those ugly, heart wrenching sobs that neared the surface. His vision blurred and he could barely tell apart the bowl from the washcloth.

He must have rinsed this last bowl ten times over already. Maybe twenty. He kept shoving it under the flow of water, kept dumping, kept filling and dumping and filling and dumping and-

“Jeongguk?”

It was the unusually quiet voice of Hoseok- timid, curious.

He turned to stare at the dancer. He was frowning. Frowning. Ah, he thought Jeongguk was weak. He was a fool for crying. He needed to get over himself. It was his own damn fault he was in this situation so he should just stop crying. He needed to scrub his face dry and move on and maybe things will be better tomorrow. His transgressions would be forgiven and forgotten.

It wasn’t like he could stop his tears on a whim, though- yet he wished he could, especially as Hoseok reached to take the bowl from him. He didn’t resist but stared in a mix of horror and confusion, wondering what his hyung would do next. Setting the bowl atop the others waiting to be dried, Jeongguk watched silently, waiting for the lecture that his mind played out for him.

“Stop being so weak.”
“What a golden maknae you are.”
“If you can’t hold yourself together, why are you here? We don’t need to be held back-”

Arms wrapped around his shaking frame.

It seemed the only thing holding him up at that point was his hyung’s arms as his knees buckled.

Everything fell apart in a matter of seconds. It was hard to breathe. His chest was heaving with sobs that were choked, stuttered. His hands were shaking, holding for dear life to Hobi’s sweatshirt, afraid that if he let go, the man would disappear once again.

Hobi’s arms, wrapped around his shaking frame, were the only things to keep him pieced together. Reassurances that Jeongguk couldn’t comprehend were murmured in his ear, a hand gently ran over his spine, the familiar scent of Hobi surrounded him.

Jeongguk didn’t want him to let go. He didn’t want him to be angry. It had been a mistake, yet it seemed like everyone was against him.

“I’m sorry,” he bawled, “I’m sorry, Hoseok-hyung. Please. Don’t be angry anymore. Please don’t ignore me. I’m sorry I lashed out. I’m sorry I’m making things harder than they should be. I’m sorry and I’ll do anything to make up for it. Please.”

Hands pulled at him, wrenching his gloved hands away from their tightened grips on Hoseok’s sweatshirt and he gasped, eyes widening but unable to comprehend what was happening.

“I’m sorry!”

“Jeongguk, hush. It’s okay. Breathe with me, baby.”

He was cradled in someone else’s arms- Jin, his mind supplied- and his hand was pressed against the man’s solid chest, above his heart. He could feel the thump of his heart, beating faster than normal. He could feel the rise and fall of his chest, a steady pattern, and could feel the rumblings of his low voice. Breathe in with me- good, like that, now exhale… yes, perfect, Gukkie.

His breathing had slowed to something tolerable yet he was still cradled into the arms of his eldest hyung. They had moved to the living area, settled on a corner of the couch and his gaze was directly upon the wall. He didn’t have the energy to move his eyes away or say anything. The tears were still rolling down his face, not deterred by the gentle thumb that Jin ran over his cheeks to catch those tears.

“Gukkie, baby, can you tell us what that was about?”

Us? Ah, shit. Everyone must have seen his breakdown.

He wanted to hide his head, use Jin as a cover.

Actually, what was stopping him from doing so?

He turned his head just barely to hide his face in the crook of Jin’s neck. They thought he was weak, he knew that much, but he just wanted a few more minutes to sit with Jin before he got shoved away again.

There was a sigh from above him, and he was being shifted away from Jin and he couldn’t help the whimper that escaped his mouth.

“Shh, Jeongguk.”

He was settled onto the couch next to Jin, the man’s arm wrapped around his shoulders firmly. Namjoon was sitting in front of him, perched on the table. Jimin came and sat on his other side, a hand raised to his head to pet his hair.

He sniffled, letting his eyes close and tilt his head into the touch.

“What’s wrong, Jeongguk-ah? Tell us what you’re thinking about.”

How could he explain that he was upset because he was a mess up?

The tears were brought back to his eyes, struggling to find an answer.

Namjoon leaned forward, a hand settling on his knee. “You can talk to us. Are you hurt?” He shook his head. “Did we say something?” A beat, then a shake of his head. “Am I close? Talk to me. Talk to us. You know we’re here for you.”

He squirmed in his hold against Jin’s side.

“I’m sorry.”

“What for, baby?”

Turning to look at Taehyung, whose eyes had unshed tears of his own, he wanted to pull him into a hug. “I wasn’t thinking earlier. I was so rude and I’m so sorry.”

The ‘95-liner was quick to come to his side, replacing Jin and wrapping his arms around Jeongguk’s shaking form.

“Don’t cry, JK. I’m okay. It should be me apologizing, too. I was being a brat, I wasn’t listening. It’s okay.”

The embrace seemed to last forever and Jeongguk let it, his arms wrapped tightly around Tae’s torso and his head resting on his shoulder. They swayed lightly, Taehyung’s thumbs pressing into the muscles of his shoulders with firm circular movements.

Lulled by the quiet conversation beside him and the swaying, Jeongguk found himself dozing into sleep and didn’t even stir as the plastic gloves were finally pulled off his hands, nor the hitched gasp from one of his hyungs.

________________

It was clear their maknae was passed out. Yoongi watched as Tae continued to soothe him, heads pressed together as Jimin sat on his other side.

“We should take those gloves off of him. God knows how uncomfortable those things are just washing the dishes.”

Jimin hummed in agreement, the only one to register that the rapper had said anything as he reached to gently pry the gloves off his hands. The sight of swollen fingers and a purple hand had Yoongi up in a flash, approaching Jimin’s side whose eyes were wide.

“Hyung!”

The other’s attention were snapped to the scene beside them. Jin stood up, reaching over Jimin to take Jeongguk’s hand with a wince. “Gukkie… what did you do?” he muttered, brows furrowed.

“He must have smashed his hand,” Namjoon commented, a note of worry in his tone. “Is there anything we can do for it?”

“Ice it. That’s about it, though. As long as nothing was broken, he should be alright. I’m sure nothing is anyways; he would have been in a lot more pain earlier during practice.”

“How do you know this was from earlier? He could have smashed his hand while doing the dishes.”

Jin shook his head. “No, the colors of the bruises are too dark to be that fresh. It looks like he was stubborn and didn’t say anything.”

An icepack appeared in the corner of his sight and Jin looked up to see Hobi holding out the pack, a handtowel wrapped around it. With a grateful smile, he gestured for Taehyung to lay the maknae out across the couch so that he could properly place the icepack against the bruised hand.

Yoongi sat down on the floor by Taehyung’s feet, who sat with Jeongguk’s head in his lap.

Problem solved, wasn’t it? Jeongguk’s hand had been bothering him, hence all the attitude they’d been given that day.

Yet something remained unsettled as he stared at the boy’s sleeping face. He wouldn’t act up like this, not even in this circumstance.

A shared look with Namjoon confirmed that he wasn’t the only one thinking this, but it seemed it would have to wait until the doe eyed maknae returned from his slumber.

Chapter Text

Peaceful bliss.

That was the one thing Jeongguk could say his nap was. No thoughts to disturb him for a few hours, no unnecessary drama. Just the sweet lull of the sandman and the warmth and comfort of a blanket atop his form, currently curled up.

It didn’t feel like his bed. It was a little firmer. Oh, was it the couch? Another gaming session where he passed out? He had been yelled at far too often for staying up so late playing Overwatch (but he couldn’t help his obsession with the game, especially when Taehyung egged it on with their late night sessions).

Laying on his side, he breathed out slowly through his nose, burying his head deeper into his pillow. No, that wasn’t quite a pillow. Not soft enough and it was clad in sweatpants material.

Jeongguk was far too gone in his sleepy bliss to recall the night’s events. Not until there was a light tug through his hair and a quiet, low voice speaking down to him.

“Hey, Guk. You back in the land of the awake yet?”

With a muffled reply that not even Jeongguk himself could understand, the jolt of the leg below him as his makeshift pillow jostled him. It was enough that he opened his eyes blearily to find the rude source of his awakening.

Turning his head to stare with disapproval written all over his face, he made eye contact with a barely guilty Taehyung who only grinned back down at him. “Ah, Kookie,” he cooed, reaching down to pinch his cheek. “When you’re half asleep, you’re adorable.”

Grumbling about I’m not a baby, so don’t treat me like one, Jeongguk let his head loll once again to survey the rest of the room.

The only other person in the room besides the two youngest was Jimin, who was snoring lightly from the floor by Jeongguk’s feet. He could hear the clanks of utensils and bowls from the kitchen and the hushed sounds of voices drifting in from the hallway.

“Why am I out here? Did I fall asleep out here?”

Taehyung’s smile faltered, seemingly caught off guard by the question. “Yeah. You fell asleep out here after- ah,” he seemed at a loss for words and Jeongguk could only frown. “You kind of freaked out earlier.”

“Freaked out?” Jeongguk’s eyes widened briefly. Wait, the thing that he thought he’d dreamt? The breakdown in front of his hyungs after being scolded earlier that day? He moved his arms to raise himself up shakily and a cold, solid weight fell from his hand to the ground with a soft thunk. It was an ice pack, he realized after a few long moments of staring at the bag wrapped in a dishtowel.

His heart sank to the bottom of his chest as he noticed the less puffy but still noticeable bruised hand. The panic seemed to settle in once again as all the emotions and thoughts from the day rushed back in, almost seeming to drown him once more. “Oh. Oh, no, I’m so sorry. I’m sorry, Tae, really, and I swear it won’t happen again. I’ll control myself and-”

“What won’t happen again, Jeongguk?”

Looking up to meet the dark eyes of Hoseok, he realized the voices from the hall had ceased. Instead, Namjoon, Yoongi and Hoseok stood in front of the maknae line and staring at him as they waited expectantly for an answer.

“Nothing, nothing,” he assured quickly, tugging the blanket off so that his feet were freed and he could stand up. “I’ll leave. I’m sorry-”

“Sit down.”

The order from Namjoon had him falling back onto the couch immediately.

“Joon! You can be gentle,” Jin admonished as he appeared at the doorway, a dishtowel slung over his shoulder and a pinch between his brows to indicate a hint of annoyance at the man’s blatant attitude.

Hoseok seemed to be the hero of the moment and cut Namjoon off before he could retort. “You two can bicker later,” he said, pulling Jin a bit farther into the room so he stood among the rest of the hyung line. “Again, Jeongguk, what won’t happen again?”

Jeongguk, who’d been hoping the bickering would go on longer, shifted in his seat, arms wrapping around himself in an almost nervous way. “Letting my emotions go like that. I’ve been so… so off today. It won’t happen again, I swear.”

Jimin, who seemed to have awaken at the presence of the rest of the group, sleepily slipped Jeongguk’s bruised hand gently into his own and set the ice pack that had fallen back on top of it with gentle pressure. “Don’t worry about it, Guk. We’re not mad.”

“Jimin’s right. Sometimes we all have our bad days.” Yoongi moved to sit in the space recently vacated by Jeongguk’s legs, Jimin resting his head against the rapper’s thigh as he sat down. “I think we were a little too harsh earlier. We talked and…” He glanced towards Namjoon for a brief second, “we all owe you an apology. “

Jeongguk shook his head jerkily. “It’s okay, hyung,” he mumbled. “You don’t have to-”

“Yes, Kook, we do,” Yoongi cut him off, tone softer than usual but stern enough to make his point. “How we treated you wasn’t quite fair. We’re not the only ones stressed out right now and you have every right to be as well. We just wish that it had gone about in a better manner.”

There was a brief moment of hesitance, Jeongguk debating internally over the words. At the hopeful glimmer in Jimin’s eyes, he nodded. “Thank you, hyung,” he finally responded, voice low.

The group went quiet. Jeongguk was tempted to get up and go to his room. He wasn’t sure what time it read on the clock, but the room was shaded in a dark orange from the rising sun out their window. Their long day had surely worn his hyungs out, but now that Jeongguk had slept for who knew how long, the sleepiness had drained from him.

Hoseok was the first to say anything. “You’re not one to lash out irrationally, Guk. You’re still young, but you’ve got a good head on your shoulders. I think that’s why all of us were caught off guard this afternoon when you shoved Tae.”

“And, well, as you know already, we saw your hand. Which I want to see after we’re done talking,” Jin added in.

Jeongguk frowned, wondering where this was going.

“Did something happen today?”

Something? More like anything and everything happened.

He shook his head.

“Jeongguk. Be honest,” Namjoon prodded him, clearly not satisfied with his answer.

The boy shifted again, eyes averted from the group of hyungs by the doorway and instead fell on his hand. The slender fingers that began to card through his hair had his shoulders slumping and his resolve breaking.

“Everything felt like it was going wrong.” The eyes boring into him and the silence that wrapped around the room made it evident that his answer wasn’t sufficient enough. “I woke up feeling bad. Not sick-bad. More like nervous-bad. I didn’t feel well. But we’re already under so much stress that I couldn’t let myself stay home, you know? And then I got out of bed late and forgot to eat.” He eyed his own hand warily. “A staff member slammed the door on my hand this morning before shooing me off to training. Then we kept working and I don’t think I got the chance to actually breathe today. Not between all the practice and criticism and scoldings. But all of it seemed so small. There’s no time to actually stop, not with our comeback so close.” His stomach seemed to be upset with the lack of food, making itself known with a loud grumble that caused Taehyung to laugh shortly before Jeongguk continued. “I wasn’t in the right mindset today. I promise that I’ll try harder. I will. Please, don’t push me away. Don’t kick me out. I’ll do whatever it takes.” The tremor in his voice had appeared again as he pleaded, eyes closing to try and keep the tears at bay.

The silence seemed overbearing. No one would answer and Jeongguk didn’t want them to. He didn’t want to hear the confirmations of his fears as his hyungs told him that he was out of the group, expected to be packed up and on the first train out to Busan in the morning. Worthless Jeon. Complaining when he should be grateful. Now they’re really going to see your true colors, kid. Say goodbye to all that you’ve worked for; you didn’t deserve it anyways. Your hyungs are disappointed.

He hadn’t realized the whimpers had bubbled up in his chest until Yoongi shushed him. “We would never kick you out. We weren’t trying to push you away, Kook-ah.”

Head snapping up to look at Yoongi incredulously, the tears gathered in his eyes blurring his gaze just barely, he could see the looks of incredulity aimed right back at him. “You weren’t?”

“No! Absolutely not. Why would you think that?” Jimin asked, brows furrowed as he stared at Jeongguk.

“After I pushed Tae, you left the studio without me. Everyone seemed so upset and wouldn’t talk to me. And-” Letting out a shaky breath, he glanced at Yoongi for a brief moment before letting his gaze fall to his hands again. “When Yoongi-hyung came to get me for dinner, everyone was already done. And I understand the dishes, I do, but-”

“But you felt like we weren’t allowing you to join us?” Yoongi concluded and if Jeongguk would allow himself to believe it, he could hear sympathy layered underneath the words.

Jeongguk nearly jumped out of his skin at Yoongi's sudden answer but nodded meekly. “Yes…”

A light squeeze of his hand lead him to stare at the guilt-ridden face of Jimin. “It was my fault we left you. Tae and I were going to stay behind but you looked like you were upset. I thought maybe you wanted some space since you lashed out at Taehyungie.”

“I came to get you because you didn’t answer the first three times we called you for dinner.” Yoongi paused, rubbing the back of his neck with a small sigh. “I’m guessing you didn’t hear us. I thought it was an act of rebellion when you wouldn’t reply or come out. Jin insisted that you eat with us so I volunteered to get you.”

“Hoseok offered to check on you when it seemed like you were taking awfully long for tonight’s dishes,” Jin chimed in.

The answers weren’t ones that Jeongguk expected. Maybe it was the look of surprise on his face that conveyed it to the group as Tae kept brushing his fingers through his hair and Yoongi placed a hand against his knee. He didn’t know, but it was obvious that the other members could see his hesitance.

“It was a misunderstanding all around,” Namjoon finally said. “Jeongguk... I’m sorry we ever made you feel as though your part in this group was in danger. We would never think of kicking you out.”

“Never,” Taehyung repeated, pressing his forehead to the side of Jeongguk’s head.

“You can be a pain,” Yoongi started, “but you’re our golden maknae and we would never think about letting you go, let alone making you go.”

“Next time you’re feeling anxious or you need someone, come to one of us,” Seokjin said. “We’re here for you. You don’t need to suffer.”

Hoseok nodded. “No matter what we’re dealing with, we’ll always have to time to listen to you.”

“And we promise that,” Jimin stated sincerely. “Do you promise us?”

A bloom of warmth spread across Jeongguk’s chest. He took a moment to look towards each of his hyungs, to see the love and comfort on each of their faces. He leaned into Taehyung’s embrace, nodding with a brief and small smile on his face. “I will. I promise.”

________________________________

It was dark when Jeongguk awoke. He was pressed between two bodies, vaguely realizing that he had fallen asleep on the couch with Hoseok and Taehyung (who were both wrapped around him). In the illumination of light from the kitchen, he could hear the quiet clink of dishes; probably Jin finishing up from their late night snacking (which had only been approved by the eldest because he knew that Jeongguk had yet to eat). Namjoon’s snores could be heard from the floor as he, illuminated by the kitchen lighting, laid next to an equally passed out Jimin and Yoongi.

He smiled and noted when Jin appeared back in the room, arms full of blankets.

“Awake now, Kook-ah?”

“Mhm… hyung snores pretty loud.”

A soft laugh escaped Jin, nodding. “That he does.” Tenderly laying the blankets over the occupants of the floor, he turned to look at Jeongguk. The boy, however, had started to drift off to sleep again.

His eyes fluttered closed, mouth parted ever so slightly. His head rested against Hoseok’s shoulder and his hair was a rightful mess.

It took all Seokjin had in him to not reach forward and pinch his cheeks. Draping the blankets over his dongsaengs, he brushed his fingers lightly through Jeongguk’s ruffled hair. “Good night, Kook.”

The boy smiled slightly, burrowing deeper into the embrace of his hyungs.

Things would be alright.