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After six seasons, two concert tours, and one movie, Glee has finally come to an end. Lea and Cory are hosting a ‘Goodbye Glee’ barbeque in the backyard of their recently purchased home in Magnolia Park. The entire cast and crew is in attendance, including most of the guest stars. Nearly all the Warbler guys have made it and they weren’t in the last season at all. Darren’s glad. He’s missed those guys.
The barbeque is doubling as a going away party for Chris. Everyone’s going their separate ways, sure, but Chris is the only one physically moving away. He’ll be living in London for the next year filming his latest movie, and then he’s said he’d like to live in Paris for a couple of months while he works on a young adult book series he’s been planning out for ages. It could be years before he’s back in LA for more than a couple weeks at a time. Darren’s been doing his best to quell the rising panic he feels in his chest every time he thinks about being an ocean away from Chris for the foreseeable future. Today is about joy and celebration. He should be making the most of the time he has left with Chris.
Except Chris is making that exceedingly difficult. All afternoon he’s been disappearing off to god-knows-where, accompanied by someone new every time. This time it’s Lea. The private conversations never last more than five or ten minutes, but the other person always returns to the party looking tearful. Amber was full-on crying after her turn half an hour ago.
Darren finds Cory by the barbeque, fixing himself a hotdog. He’s already had his turn, and Darren is fed up with not knowing what’s going on. “Cory, man. Where does Chris keep disappearing to? Am I missing something?”
Cory looks at him with wide eyes. “You mean he hasn’t- you haven’t-”
“No,” Darren says, a slight edge to his voice.
“Dude,” Cory says, shaking his head. “Chris is saying his goodbyes. He got an earlier flight so he’s leaving tomorrow morning.” Darren feels his stomach clench. Chris wasn’t supposed to be leaving for another three days; he thought he had time… “It’s rough, Darren. I almost cried. We hugged and he went on about how much our friendship means to him. He told me Mark and me were like the big brothers he never had.” Cory sighs, smiling a little. “I’m really going to miss him, you know?”
Darren nods slowly. “Yeah. Yeah, of course. I’m just-” He pauses, kicking at the grass and shoving his hands in his pockets. “I’m just wondering why he hasn’t- you know. With me.”
Cory claps him on the shoulder. “Don’t worry about it, man. I’m sure he’s just saving you ‘til the end. ‘Cause you guys are such good friends.” It’s true. Chris and Darren had nearly every one of their scenes together in season six and were always together on breaks. They’re as close as they’ve ever been.
Darren nods again, returning Cory’s sweet smile. “Yeah, that’s probably it. Thanks, Cory.”
Cory takes a massive bite of his hotdog and mumbles, “Any time.”
Darren leaves him to it, heading over to the pool to dip his feet in. He strikes up a conversation with Kevin, resolving to not let his impending goodbye with Chris make him nervous.
Half an hour goes by before Darren starts getting impatient. He finds Lea inside making a pitcher of lemonade. Her mascara is running a little and her eyes look puffy from crying. “Lea, are you okay?” He bites his lip but can’t help adding, “And have you seen Chris around?”
Lea wipes under her eyes with the back of her hands. “I’m fine, sweetie. Just a little emotionally wrecked from my goodbye with Chris. That boy…” She shakes her head, smiling fondly. “He’s really one of the sweetest people I’ve ever met. We’re so lucky to have him in our lives.”
“We definitely are. But, um. Have you seen him?”
“Oh, he left.”
“What?!”
Lea looks at him with concern. “Yeah, about twenty minutes ago. I was his last goodbye.”
Darren just gapes at her for a moment. Then he turns on his heel and leaves without another word.
***
Chris is lugging his last suitcase down the stairs and into the foyer when he hears his front door open and immediately slam shut. He straightens up when he hears footsteps pounding closer, but relaxes when he sees it’s Darren. Of course it’s Darren. He and Ashley are the only other people with keys to his place. Darren comes to an abrupt halt when he spots Chris on the stairs, converse squeaking against the hardwood. He has a blazing look to him and Chris is taken aback. He tries for a smile and says, “Hey, Dare-”
Darren cuts him off. “I don’t get a goodbye?”
Chris drops his suitcase in surprise. “What?”
Darren throws his arms up and lets them fall to his sides with a smack. “Everyone gets a goodbye but me? What do I got to do to get a goodbye, huh? Be best friends with you? Kiss you on stage in front of thousands of people? Have- have an affair with you? Oh, wait a minute! Wait a minute! I did all those things!”
Chris feels a blush rising on his cheeks at the mention of their long-ago affair. It was passionate but brief, both of them realizing early on how impossible it would be to make it work. “Darren-”
But he’s not finished. “Or no, maybe, maybe I’m just not giving you enough credit! I mean it is difficult to say goodbye to so many people. Maybe you wanted to keep the one-on-one farewells to the original cast members. Of course, you made an exception for Chord. And Vanessa. And Grant, and he was only a guest star!”
Chris can’t do anything but stare at him, open-mouthed. The corners of Darren’s mouth turn down and he shakes his head disbelievingly. “You know, after all we’ve been through, I can’t believe this is how you want to leave things between us. Have a- have a good time in London.” He looks on the verge of tears when he turns and storms away.
Chris flinches when he hears the door slam again. He sinks down and sits on the stair he was standing on, leaning against the bannister for support. His breathing is shallow and uneven and, much to his embarrassment, he feels tears welling up in the corners of his eyes. Chris had no idea Darren would be so upset by this. He feels awful and dense and heartbroken in a way he hasn’t felt since he- since they-
Chris takes a deep breath, picks himself up, and grabs his car keys from the glass table in the foyer. He knows what he needs to do.
***
Darren has barely walked in the door of his own house when Chris is suddenly there, in his living room, all up in his personal space. He only does that when he’s really pissed.
“You really think I didn’t say goodbye to you because I don’t care?” Chris’s eyes are narrowed and his voice is breathier than it normally is. Yep. Definitely pissed.
Darren splutters and gives an exaggerated shrug. “That’s what it seemed like, yeah!”
Chris turns away from him, running a hand through his hair agitatedly. “I cannot believe that after five years, you don’t know anything about me!”
“Fine, I’ll bite! Why didn’t you say something?”
“Because it’s too damn hard, Darren! I can’t even begin to explain to you how much I’m going to miss you!” Chris pauses, swallowing and bringing a hand up to rub at the base of his throat. “When I think about not seeing you every day, it makes me not want to go! Okay? So if you think that- that I didn’t say goodbye to you because you don’t mean as much to me as everyone else, you’re wrong. It’s because you mean more to me.” His voice breaks and he’s breathing shakily. A lonely tear slips out and Chris reaches up to wipe it away impatiently. “So there! All right? There’s your goodbye!”
Darren listens to his entire speech in total shock, but he manages to shake himself out of it just as Chris is turning around and making his way to the door. “Chris!”
He pauses, whipping his head around and fixing Darren with a glare. “What?”
“You can’t- you can’t just-”
“What?!” Chris turns around fully then, twisting his hands so his palms are facing up.
Darren has no idea what to say. All he knows is he can’t let Chris walk out that door. Not yet. Maybe not ever. He strides over, closing the distance between them in two long steps. He slides his hands into Chris’s hair and pulls him into a searing kiss. Chris stumbles back slightly but Darren slips a hand down and around his waist to steady him, pulling him flush against his chest. Chris’s back arches and then he’s winding his arms around Darren’s neck, holding him close. They kiss like it’s everything, like that’s all there is and ever will be.
When Chris breaks away it’s only to grab Darren’s hand and pull him up the stairs to the bedroom. They don’t speak. Darren doesn’t know what this is. It could be “once more, for old time’s sake”. It could be “goodbye”. Whatever it means to Chris, Darren only has one clear thought as Chris tugs him down onto the bed:
I’m never letting you go again.