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(wednesday)
When he looks Tsukasa in the eyes, he's reaffirmed of what he's here for.
It's easy to tell, after Megrez, that he's just barely holding himself together, letting Yuuta into his room with only a greeting this time— he clearly doesn't have the energy for anything, because there's nothing good to look back at from today to keep them going.
It's especially concerning when he begins to mumble, telling Yuuta about his cravings for a freshly-baked croissant in an attempt to make small talk even though he's almost completely detached from the present. He definitely isn't as used to losing family as Yuuta is, so it must feel like an actual nightmare to him, but would he let himself grieve if that wasn't the case? It wouldn't be the first time for him to express his frustrations and insecurities to him with nobody else in sight if he was to break then and there, but what's to say he won't push himself forward immediately instead?
Although, they don't have much time to anyway, with the looming threat of the Septentriones. They're the very reason the two are staring at the same spot on the ceiling, now that the stars in the sky have begun to fade to nothingness.
(He understands completely, why Tsukasa's gone silent.)
The atmosphere weighs down on them further now that they both have nothing left to say, and even Yuuta's thoughts become those of his late seniors. They'd looked after him too, even after leaving him behind in favor of the object of their affections, or having the time of their life scaring him, or being impossible for him to catch even though he would only be doing so because Tsukasa was having trouble doing so and stubbornness enough wasn't going to help him, and even Narukami-senpai was genuinely one of the nicest big siblings one could ask for...
...it's painful, looking back on them now, and despite everything it hurts just as much to turn to his side and notice Tsukasa is shaking.
On instinct, Yuuta reaches for his hand, and he jolts; it's like he remembers just now that he isn't actually reliving the moment where not a single call to his seniors would go through - and knowing him, he'd have tried everyone at least twice over - rather, he's right here, in a room he's starting to grow familiar with, and so is Yuuta, here to stay the night this time.
"Yuuta-kun—" and then he pauses, like he really has forgotten everything other than where he is and that it's just him now, so, to save him the trouble of asking before acting less than refined, he pull him close.
Don't speak ill of the dead is a common sentiment between most of those who remain now, considering they lose people with every mission, and it's most definitely being followed by Tsukasa, too— in fact, every complaint he's ever had about their antics falls short in comparison to this very moment. There's lots more than he already knows, that Tsukasa admits through tears, that he says he could have said to them before while he'd still had the chance. He'd known, before anyone else, that there was a high chance they wouldn't make it out of this mission alive, and yet…
Tsukasa hadn't even been able to speak of one regret in full without having to pause to recollect himself enough to stay coherent, which had soon led to him exhausting himself to the point of complete resignation; lying limp in Yuuta's arms, tears continuing to dampen his shoulder. He may be far from done, but he's far too tired for anything more— something Yuuta's never witnessed before, no matter how many times he's extended a hand to him.
And it makes his heart sink, even though he'd been in that very same position days before, when he realizes after gently brushing the hair away from his face that he's quite literally cried himself to sleep.
(thursday)
The end of the world isn't the best time to cause mischief, Yuuta knows that well, but he's already back where he was last night with a stolen croissant. It's for a noble cause, so Itsuki-senpai will surely understand if he tells him the next time he sees him that his dear friend desperately wanted one, right? He knows from Sakuma-senpai that he's really just a big softie, anyway, and since he's still here as well he can probably vouch for him.
Tsukasa himself is still lethargic, having just woken up from a long period of slumber, still trying not to fall back asleep. Yuuta knows exactly why their sleeping habits are mixed up, himself up bright and early and Tsukasa sleeping in, which he won't mention to retain the alright mood they're both in before they have to go risk life and limb again. Before even getting up to prepare himself for the day, he first takes his time to have Yuuta's gift to him. Thankfully, judging by the way he closes his eyes, he's savouring the moment and the croissant— a job well done.
"Marvelous," he whispers, before turning to him. "Yuuta-kun, where did you find this?"
“Um…”
“Yuuta-kun?”
"...Itsuki-senpai!”
It's too late, though. Yuuta's garnered his suspicion, and he knows he’s made the connection when he gives him an appalled look— though it only serves to make him giggle, watching him have a crisis because theft is one thing but going out of your way to help a friend out is another.
“Sorry, sorry— I'll ask next time, alright? Calm down.” For good measure, he pats Tsukasa on the head a few times, only to be surprised when he doesn’t immediately, let alone at all swat his hand away.
He sighs, which he’ll take as a crisis averted. "You know you need to apologize to Itsuki-senpai, right?"
And, he will; he slides off the bed, but not without extending a hand to Tsukasa after.
(friday)
Merit systems, equality systems, systems that oppose Tenshouin Eichi, they're all too confusing for Yuuta.
In fact, he doesn't even know why they're fighting. They're both sacrificing so much for the sake of rebuilding a world that only has about fifteen people in it now that Lugh's summoning ended in death too, without taking anything else into consideration— and he's done with crying his eyes out at night whenever a death clip becomes reality. Tsukasa himself is conflicted about this, between a big brother and his methods, and possibly what the one person he's never seen without at this point thinks, judging by how he asks what he thinks so abruptly.
What does he think?
He's not sure at this point.
In fact, he's not even sure if his words will mean anything or if the void will swallow them up along with him, he laughs.
Somehow, that's enough to render Tsukasa speechless for a moment. "You don't mean to say that you are giving up, are you...?"
Ah, that really isn't what he meant! "No, no, um... it's more like... " He pauses, to twirl a strand of hair between his fingers. "I'm still moving forward, but I'm not even sure which direction is forward."
"I see..."
Still, while he knows just how to describe his own feelings of helplessness, that can't do anything to ease Tsukasa's troubled mind, leading him to add a remark about how that makes two of them. Unexpectedly, Tsukasa finds this something to smile about, despite wondering— "Will we remain lost like this, though?"
Yuuta shrugs, placing a hand on Tsukasa's.
"Not if we make our own path, I guess."
(saturday)
All the hours they'd spent planning how they could get people to support their cause, they'd all amounted to nothing within these few seconds. He's searching everywhere, until he can find Tsukasa, even though he's seen that if he doesn't find Tsukasa then Tsukasa will find him.
Coming to terms with his own death is easy after this whole ordeal, he just doesn't want to be alone— and right as he realizes that, he also realizes that Tsukasa's hand is warm in his own, when he comes from behind just to be with him too. They've got no reason to run anymore, aware that there will still be more and more copies of Dubhe up front, choosing to look at eachother in a brief moment of respite.
And Tsukasa, after Megrez, isn't leaving anything unsaid.
"Thank you, for always being there."
(sunday)
"Honestly, I don't know what I'd do without you!"
He's come out of this mock exam in tears of relief, for once, although that was still enough to startle Tsukasa into thinking that all of the time he'd dedicated to making sure Yuuta at least got a passing grade was for naught, but, no— it all turned out nicely, thanks to Tsukasa being there for him in these trying times, and he's eternally grateful for that now.
They'd had plans too, for a congratulations or an i'm sorry you still did terribly outing, and Yuuta's in the mood for sweet things and to spoil his friend, so the first thing he does is suggest they go for parfaits (without the whipped cream)— not letting Tsukasa attempt to protest after he sees the shine in his eyes.
Taking him by the hand, dragging him along.
