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Bellamy has been in love with Clarke for a while now, but he tries to hide his feelings for his sister’s best friend, although his friendship with her is growing.
His job as a cop has never been easy, things he never can un see again are hunting him until he falls asleep. And his dreams aren’t much better, his mother who killed herself always appears in them. He always wakes up gasping for air and sweating since his mother’s suicide.
Since then it was always him and Octavia against the world, until Clarke came along. Octavia worked at the hospital, that’s where she met Clarke. When he met her, he was instantly irritated, with her fancy clothes and tons of money. The Blakes never had it as good as her, but he got used to her. They became friends over the years and Bellamy even felt something more, but he kept that down low.
Tonight he wanted to check on her because it was exactly 2 years ago that she lost her father to cancer. It became a regular thing that they went to check on each other when they knew something happened that day. Last month it was 5 years ago that Bellamy’s mother died and she helped him through that day. He was planning on doing the same thing for her.
He came at her apartment and lifted his hand to knock, but he stopped and decided to just walk in. The border of privacy was already crossed, so it was a normal thing to do. He told her to always lock the door because something bad could happen with the quiet ‘yeah, yeah’ from her.
The door closed behind him and he didn’t see her in the living room, so he walked to her room through the hallway. He stood in front of her room, thinking that he might overstep a more important border when he heard a broken sob from in her room. The door was locked and the knocking didn’t help,
“Clarke? Come on, princess open up.”
He told her against the door. He kept banging, but no movements, “Clarke, I’m going to break down your door if you don’t open it! Please princess,” he begged.
He still heard her cry when he told her to be careful. He punched the door open, and stood there shocked from the sight in front of him.
She sat on the ground on her knees, her eyes red and swollen from crying. He looked at her hands, one with a knife and the other covered in blood. He stood there staring until it hit him.
She tried to take her own life.
Her wrists were covered in cuts, but they weren’t enough to kill herself. She wanted herself to be in pain before she died.
His princess tried to kill herself.
He ran to her and cupped her face, ”Clarke?! Princess, what happened?” he whispered, she looked at him with once beautiful ocean blue eyes who now turned to dark lifeless blue ones, they filled again with unshed tears. “It was all too much, I, I,” she tried but kept going, “with my dad gone and my mom who doesn’t notice me anymore, my best friend who dropped me over a girl, those cheaters,” she sobbed, “I couldn’t handle it anymore, Bellamy. Nobody would miss me, I could be gone and no one would notice.” She croaked.
Was this what she was thinking? That no one cared about her? I wanted to shout it to her
I care about you!
But she was too vulnerable right now. He pushed the knife away from her and took her in his arms. When he dialed 911 he felt her grabbing his shirt tightly and sobbing in the crook of his neck.
“Attempted suicide at TonDC lane in Arcadia, please come as quick as possible.”
With that he ended the call and hugged her so tightly she might break. He rocked her back and forth while whispering
‘it’s gonna be okay’
and
‘I’m here’
until the ambulance was there. He followed to the hospital and called his sister,
“O?”
he asked hesitantly, “hey big brother, what’s wrong?” he heard her voice still rough from sleep. His voice cracked “can you please come to the hospital please? I need you” he begged her “yeah, what happened?” she asked, “something happened to Clarke, O” he told her when he tried to hold back the tears. He heard an engine start and a quick “I’m coming” from Octavia.
He tried to stay strong until his sister arrived, but when she hugged him he couldn’t contain it anymore and he let the tears cover his cheeks. “I can’t lose her, O” he sobbed in her neck, “it will all be okay, Clarke is strong, she will get through this.” She soothed him. “she tried to kill herself, O” he cried.
They sat together waiting for something of news, when he saw nurses passing he always hoped that they would tell him she’s okay. He hadn’t noticed how tired he was and making up the worst scenarios wouldn’t help him, Octavia or Clarke, while thinking of her he dozed off to sleep.
“Bellamy”
he heard and opened his eyes, he saw his sister watching him. He hoped that the last 24 hours were just a dream, and Clarke was okay.
But he looked around and noticed that they were still in the hospital, his heart sunk. “You need to sleep, big bro, like in a real bed.” She told him, “what I need is for Clarke to wake up, for something.” He admitted, she shook her head, “it will be worse if she wakes up and sees a zombie next to her bed.” She tried lighten up the mood. Octavia drove him home and he went straight to his room, but he didn’t leave the hospital without seeing her.
“I’m sorry but she didn’t make it”